Friday, April 1, 2011

"Today Is The 2nd Day Of April In The Year Of Our Lord 2011." APRIL SIMPLETON. I know it is the first!!!

Mornin.  My scalded nuts say Hi to everyone in Plain and Simpleville.  Yep, coffee on the shirt, coffee on the nuts.  Now, I know why they named coffee chock full of nuts.  My nuts are constantly chock full of it. This should be a National Holiday in Plain and Simpleville, April Fools Day. Come on. We could call it April Simpletons Day.  APRIL SIMPLETON, (not April Fool, for those of you that didn't get it.) Gotcha!! I didn't spill coffee on my nuts. LOL!!!!  This is a huge day.
1. ARPIL SIMPLETON DAY
2. VODKADAY
3. PHILLIES OPENING DAY (Maybe0
APRIL SIMPLETON gotcha again,
1.VODKADAY
2. PHILLIES OPENING DAY (Maybe)
3. APRIL SIMPLETON DAY
For those of you that don't get it, and I know there are many, they were out of order the first time.
APRIL SIMPLETON. I know I don't have to explain myself..
No this is not rehearsed. I am just Simple.
OWWW!! Coffee on the nuts this time!!! APRIL SIMPLE no, can't do it this was real..
Tell  me I don't deserve my name..
OK, this day started out as All Fools Day, they would get the village idiot, (Don't go there Plain), and have him perform in the town square.  In the Yunk or in this Ville that could be any number of idiots.. They would then play practical jokes on each other.  Like setting the idiot on fire and throw him in the fountain, or watch him melt.. I can think of a lot of idiots I would like to throw some gasoline and a match on.. Enough.
Fightin's Opening Day: Simples Predictions.
NL East Champs.
NL Pennant
World Series Win.
I am going for it all baby.
This prediction will be here. When the season ends, and you can all come back and congratulate me.  Give me your take.
Also, I will be VODKADUP,  and with Plain most of the day, so the Plain and Simples can run rampant through the ville.
I did my job, give me anything that you can think of : names. movies, stories, real and imagined. That has to do with something foolish or idiotic.
One other always comes to mind.  This has to do with millions.  What are those idiots doing on New Year's Eve, in times square, waiting for a ball to drop, they are freezin their nuts and tushes off, and if you leave your 1 foot by 1 foot space to try and urinate, you can't get back. Is that fun?? For who for what??  Have some fun everybody.  HAPPY APRIL SIMPLETON DAY!!!!!!!

21 comments:

plain said...

It's opening day and it's snowing and who woulda thought with are pitching staff we would be in last place!!!!!!!! Only In Philly.
Waiting in line for anything is silly to me, especially those overnite peeps that wait out in freezing weather for tickets to some game or concert or for the new ipod, makes no sense to me at all.

Plain and Simple said...

Yo! how about when they stampede each other on Black Friday. WOW!!

Simple said...

Yo Plain, We hangin out today or what?
You didn't have anything to say about that idiotic Post I made this morning.
What are you some kinda Simpleton?

Simple said...

Hey Plain, snowy day, nobody wants to play. Headin for the Yunk in about an hour. SIMPLETON FOOLS. In about, a 1/2 hour..

plain said...

Bring a Racing form Simple and not yesterdays. I'll show you how to act nuts.

Simple said...

Yeah, I gotta the orders to stop and get the forms. I want to stop and see Dave. Looks like the only two Simpletons Playin today are me and you, and I am out of here as quick as possible..

Simple said...

Yo, I thought All Simpletons Day would be a big day here in the Ville. These pricks are breakin my black heart..APRIL SIMPLETON. Nobody breaks my black heart...

Jim McCool said...

Damn, when I saw today was the 2nd I thought it was Saturday and had to go do my Saturday stuff.

Plain and Simple said...

Hey McCool sky dive down to ECK'S and watch the game or the rain with us..

Jim McCool said...

Enjoy your tailgating and Vodka Day. Tell Dave I'm glad he is ok. Pick a couple of winners. ick a mudder and a Snower. Keep warm.

Plain and Simple said...

I guess that means, fuck you, I ain't comin..Well somebody has to watch the Ville today..

Strebor said...

Nobody's Fool - one of Simple's favorite movies.
See you at CJ & Eck's hopefully to watch a Phillies win.
Maybe McCool is just April fooling us and will show up at CJ & Eck's.
Waiting in lines like on Thanksgiving Night for the supposed sales on Black Friday, or to get tickets to see The Jonas Brothers or other ilk supplies us with the biggest form of idiocy, The Super Fool. Happy April Fool's Day to all the Super Fools! Make fools out of yourselves! Oh but hey you do that every day anyway.

HOB said...

-------Original Message-------

From: Jack Finnegan
Date: 04/01/11 13:33:38
To: Jack Finnegan
Subject: FW: Senior sex






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------








This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy!

The husband leans over and asks his wife,

'Do you remember the first time we had sex together fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'


A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence, I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in..Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.


After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggles to their feet and puts their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence'

plain said...

Lolllll Dan, pretty good

Jim McCool said...

Sorry, I would if I could but I can't..........No fuck you intended..lol

plain said...

Well the Phils are still undefeated and in first place, great come back

Jim McCool said...

Typical Philly game.Keep you on the edge until the end. Very exciting and great sports.

Strebor said...

They really like to give you angina and it was only the first game. Don't know if I can take this all season. GO PHILLIES!!!!!!

Strebor said...

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Fool's Gold

earman0042 said...

ORIOLES Magic feel it happen.
Its better than hot coffee on the old fellas.End of the 6th O's 4 Tampa zip...could we be in first place..An I-95 world series.World Champions?

Simpleton fools day..

SHIT!!!!

Strebor said...

Why do fools fall in love, sung by Frankie Lyman who was a fool married to three women at the same time.

Good Night Plain & Simple followers.

Not sure if Plain or Simple will be signing off for the night so just in case, stay out of harm's way dear friends.....TAPS