Mornin. And I really do mean mornin!!! It is now 12:30 AM right time, and this Simple Ass just woke up from a 5:30 nap. Yeah got a cab out of Slophouse Casino (Sugarhouse my Ass) what a pit. Yeah I hit and, I looked around and I was the only one there. I think everybody was tired of me farting around. They are paying me my money and there are 10 brutha's starin at me. I'm thinkin this isn't a good situation.. Then of all things from hell, they close the fuckin bar!!! I tell the guy payin me, dude bring me a six pack I'll give you 50.00, thank God, he couldn't get it, I would still be there. So, I wait inside till I see a cop pull up, then go out and get a cab, and up the Expressay I go, I guess it is 5 AM, so now I decide to start callin everybody and share my good fortune. Well, you know how that went over. Get too Dave's wander into a bedroom, still callin people, and get about 3 hrs. sleep. SSS (shit, shower, shave), then people start calllin me, then it is cheese steak time, then it is 3PM, then back to the Pine Barrens and lay it down about 5PM, and you got it!!!!Just woke the fuck up and it is midnight here in Plain and Simpleville. Now, I wonder if my dumb ass can get back to sleep. Plus I have 10 missed phone calls, people probably think I am dead. Nah!!! there would be a celebration outside. I looked out it is awfully quite.. I am doing a post now.........................................................I was thinkin........................well I am doing a post now... BECAUSE I CAN"T SLEEP!!!!!!! Maybe I'll give Plain a call and see if he is up.. I better leave well enough alone. Well once again I left Manayunk with everyone hatein me. That's somethin new.. Great job yesterday, I was on administrative leave.. Me and some Admiral.. I thought he was a door man.. You guys had some good stuff goin. Strebor sand TAPS that was awesome, and Jim called them. Once again everybody great time, of course I wouldn't know. Strebor, I will answer your question, with a question, do we act like we are in our sixties?? I honestly don't know how to act, this is all real..Jim, I went to that extravaganza with Floyd. He doesn't get out of them. He is worse than me, when I was leavin yesterday, I had to get my suit out of his car, that is another story.. I met him up Dalessandro's and he says, why you goin home there's a beef and beer tonite. I ran to my car and floored it across Henry Ave. He isn't made out of the same substance as the rest of us...I can run, but when it comes to him, he can fly...OK, I am going to get a bowl of cheerios, watch some cartoons, and read yesterdays Daily News.. Then I will, lay there with monkey mind for an hour and nod off.. I already had a nights sleep. See how thoughts come to my wondrous mind (GAG. CHOKE, GAG) , how about anything to do with Cereals, Names, Places, Songs, you all know the deal. Then we can bring the comments. I can't beleive I am doing this shit at 1AM!!!!! WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL!!!! We found an Admiral..
Cherrio!!
All the Bowl Games.
Snap Crackle and Poop, I mean Pop
t
29 comments:
Smart waiting for a cop. Hate to see you on that Action News Van. Before we start getting into the Royal Wedding:
Cheerio: Plural Cheerios
Alphabet---
Cocoa Krispies
TOTAL-----up the score
Oat Bran----Great for Simple when he goes to a church.
Wheaties for Plain when he hits the links.
I'm afraid that Irish Kid leading the Masters is going to get caught by the Tiger...Frosted Flakes
Glad you made it home safe and sound but I still say GPS implant.
When i get my hands on Simple i'm going to become a cereal killer starts ripping up the coco puffs and chocking it throws it on the floor and stomps it.
Simple you didn't return my call Sat. I put a seven state alarm out for you, they thanked me and closed shrugs whatever they meant by that.And I just found out you didn't say 6 dimes you said 6 times you lost 6000 smirks, things could be worse dont worry about it.
Do you know that snap, crackel and pop were found dead there looking for a cerial killer haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa knee slapper i'LL be back I'm going to have my BEERios haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa oh chit I did it again Simple you should try those Kevorkin Krispies
I'm sure Pat is having his favoriate cerial right now Special AK47's
Jim Mc stay away from any cerial from japan all they have left is Chernobyl Charms
Simple is eating Nutin 'N' Bitch
Sterbor Honey Bunches of Oats
Plain Beerios and all the rest of ya can have some CaCa Puffs or the Toxic Waste Puffs
Good Sunday Morning:)
Well as always after reading the first couple of comments I had a good laugh. I guess I was one of the lucky ones yesterday because when I called Simple he was on his way back to Simpleville and answered. After reading Plain's post yesterday I must admit that I had a little bit of concern for Simple (I really should know better). But, it was not necessary. He survived Sugar House and lived to torment us for another time.
Do you remember when we were kids there were about maybe 10 or so kinds of cereal that you get; it increased a lot with my kids and now it is ridiculous. They started adding sugar at some point and then decided that the sugar was not good for us and then came out with all the natural crap. Here are some of the older ones that I remember:
1.Puffed Rice (loved this-never see it anymore)
2.Rice Krispies (snap,crackle,pop)
3.Quaker Oatmeal (not instant)
4.Cheerios
5.Shredded Wheat (ugh!)
6.Wheaties (breakfast of Champions)
7.Corn Flakes
8.Cream of Wheat
I said there were maybe ten that I maybe remembered from when we were kids but could only come up with eight.
Signing off for now to have my bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, which is my favorite now, with bananas and cranberries and fat-free milk. You know we must fight our oxidants with the anti-oxidants. Oh to be young again, grab the box of Wheaties add two or three teaspoons of sugar, drown it in milk, then eat all of the cereal and leave the milk in the bowl.
Those were the days! Have a good one!
Hey Pat, Come on back to Pa. they just declared open season on porcupines. Seem they are eating tree bottoms and cabins up in the mountains and all the wiring. Shoot them any time you want. The problem is the hunters say you can walk up and hit them with a stick. They are kind of slow. LOL
Pablum---Unsweetend
strebor.....how about Kixx and grape nuts
Porcupines eating Cabins and wires ? Shocking situtstion there,and those porcupines can be a pain in the ass!Another thing I know is the difference between a Porcupine and a BMW is on a porcupine the prick is on the outside. ....nods and walks away
Trix are for kids.....johns and Hookers too
Ranger Joe's Cereal...
Sugar Corn Pops...
Maypo...
I have never "hunted" porcupines, I have though shot armadillos, ground hogs, prairie dogs, rabbits. and other assorted ground rats.
I think Pat McHugh is really Elmer Fudd. Keep shootin McHugh, hey Jim if you go Porcupine huntin, grab me a couple quills and some ink. You gottt itttt, I'm here in Plain and Sipleville, and my Main Man Plain you got it right (for a change) the first time. I hit, I just split it with some Admiral or Doorman or somebody. You know what I love about Plain and Simpleville, it takes nothing to strart you all off a barage of nonsense, that is better than any TV show I have ever seen.. Fuckin Pablum. McCools eatin Pablum.. What the fuck man!!! Plain you are the best. Strebor is in too teachin the history of cereals. Right now I am having a hard time thinking, still wondering why I am still alive..
Ahhhh Simple is back, singin again Pat...
I'm Buffalo Bee take my advice get Nabisco Wheat Honeys and also Rice...
"Well their taste is better and their name is new, their shot with sugar through and through, Kellogg's Sugar Corn Pops, Sugar Pops are Tops.
Now, I'm PATtin myself on the back.., can really hurt your hand that way. Gettin ready for the fightins. Oh yeah, FOOD!!!! gotta go get some. WaWa. See everbody aroundt the Ville later.. Come on in and enjoy. I really missed you guys, (gag, gag, cough, gag) coffee went down one of the wrong pipes...
Ok gotta clarify and educate, once again my fellow Simpletons. Plain don't have to read this one.
Bettin Lingo:
Dollar: 100.00
Nickel: 500.00
Dime you already know. There now everyone can join in and we will bet the Kentucky Derby, we will need four horses and if we hit he trifecta or the superfecta, it usually is hugh..Fuckin McHugh got me spelllin huge wrong..
"Post Toasties" (English)
"Posta Toasti" (Italian)
Anon - don't remember Kixx & Grape Nuts when I was a kid but then again I was a kid a long time ago.
Strebor you don't remember Trixx are for kids you silly rabbit, and Grape Nut Flakes??
I liked Quaker Puffed Wheat.,
"Mothers Oats"
"Captain Crunch"
Hey remember when you used to get a prize in the cereal box. I didn't care if I hated the shit, if it had a prize in it, I would tell my Mom I liked it and eat the shit anyway.
How about, my all time least favorit.
"Shredded Wheat" It was like eatin hay..
Should have called it Dreaded Wheat.
Why is it when you were a kid anything that the adults in charge said was good for you. Was lousy..
You guys dig that or what??
Cause they were more right than not.like castor oil..........on my Pablum LOL
Okay i'm back from batting practice and friggin Tiger is tied Jimmy Mc is a profit he called it but now that i'm back he will blow up I just put the hex on him I want the kid to win.
And speaking of trix.....Tiger does alot of em
Yeah, J. McC I remember the dreaded castor oil and how many of us can say we now take a fish oil pill daily? Same thing only in pill form! You got it right, they knew what they were doing back then. Simple I do not remember Kixx and Grape Nuts as a kid. I think they came along a little later, like maybe when I was in my teens, which also was quite a while ago. Phillies just won another one! GO PHILLIES!!!!!
OK Plain, you can call J. McC a profit or prophet, whatever you like best oh great Lama Munker Jedi Knight or Night, whichever you choose. Love ya!
Does a man giggle at my Profit, the winner will profit in the millions. I am the alchemist, Prophet and Jedi Knight usually at nite. Tiger will choke
I'm putting a dime on Tiger, a nickle on the Irish Kid and a dollar on the Aussie, fiddy cents on The Koi and a quarter on Simple to change the channel.........
Golf you are talking golf. Tiger, like um pussy cats. Like that little dude liked his maypoe. I never ate maypoe. Sounds like Edgar Allens little sister May. Hey people quit callin Plaina Jedi Knight or a wondrous Munker and such. He actually strutted up to me at the Mummers Museum the other night..first thing out of his mouth is I am a Jedi Knight. I just said yes you are, and ran over to get another Vodka.
"Cream of Wheat"
"Count Chochula"
and the ever popular "Tony The Tiger" "Tiger Woods" "Tippy Canoe and Tiger Too" I'm done..
Not so much an Elmer Fudd anymore though I did do a lot of hunting in the past for fun and as an integral part of my business - now I just go on some invited hunts - like the Florida Oceola hunt last month and an upcoming one in June... a feral pig hunt in West Texas. I try to get out two to three mornings a week to put in range time trying to be more like Bob Lee Swagger... making consistent 10 round groups at 200 to 500 yards.
Speaking of prizes in cereal... remember the submarine where you put baking powder in them and they sunk and then rose to the surface. I was at a "junque" sale (some say antiques)a few months back and someone had one unopened in the original glassine packet from Kellogs and was asking $75.00. I passed.
All Bran
Raisin Bran
Muselix
Count Chockula
Boo Berries
... Old age is creeping in.. I take a fish oil capsule every morn, along with a mess of other meds.
Listen to the excuses they make for Poor Tiger they make me sick
Tiger in at -10...........Your boy went to the Club House too early on that one shot......Whatever happens it is a great Masters.right Simple?
Someone we graduated Roman with (not from Yunk or Roxboro)and was a long time Philadelphia detective has written a few mystery novels based in Philly... someone reccomended these to me as summer reading last year. A combination of memory fade and misplacing the note I made myself leaves me to ask if you know who I am referring to?
Pat there was a Keith Gilman that was a cop for 15 years in Philly he wrote mystrey novels But I dont know if he was a Roman grad.
Yes Jim it was a great Masters and Tiger can go back for seconds
Go Charl! Boo-hiss Tiger!
Masterbators, over yet?? OK good now we can talk about the up coming Kentucky Derby. GOLF!! (gag). Tiger, who the fuck names their kid Tiger. What did he do win the green jacket?? He probably has to give that too his ex wife. How about of all things she beat his ugly ass with a nine iron. Now, he knows how those golf balls feel..Pablum, McCool is eatin pablum!!
Hey Pat, I remember that submarine, and that mystery writer may have been from the Yunk, was it like ahhhhh Mickey Spillane?
Well the real golf tournament starts tomorrow "The Bastards" Moe Larry and Curley at 8am
Derby you say, right now I like the Factor
Simple it is a lil known fact that Tiger's real name is Eldrick Tont Woods > I would have changed my name too
Thanks for the education Plain, Tont, his name Tont. Did they forget the O? Yeah I wouldn't care if they called me shit head with a name like Eldick Tont.. See he really is a dick..
Bye, Bye to this lost weekend. Should they all be this good. Back to work tomorrow, I am sure the country cannot wait to get started. Or is it closed down? I missed that action, but I didn't miss action..Didn't check too many stats, kinda slacked off here at the Ville, what the hell I was with an Admiral.. Or doorman or somebody in uniform. Time for a wrap. Everybody had their cereal for the day. Jim don't forget your pablum tonite, you don't want to wake up Wahhhh Wahhhhhin for food..
Dark and empty streets in the ville. Way to take care of things, oh great citizens of this nut house. See you all in the mornin. Get in the tree Sammy, McHugh might be roamin around somewhere.
That's It.. Stay out of harms way my friends.. TAPS....
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