Thursday, April 14, 2011
"Today Is The Fourteenth Day Of April In The Year Of Our Lord 2011."
Mornin, Hope everybody slept well. I DIDN'T, some fuckin parrot named Greeny screamin Greeny Wants A Drink all night.. I thought parrots ate crackers and they had names like Polly..what's with the drinkin. Finally I bring him out some water, and he turns hid head and looks at me with one eye, and says, ARK!! ARK!!! Greeny wants a RUM!! WAKE UP PLAIN!!! he brought this menace into the ville, now I gotta put up with its shit literally..Shit all over the place ARK ARKIN!! until I finally found some Capt. Morgan and gave him a few shots. Luckily the armory was locked up, or he woulda got a shot alright. That aint bad enough. I look over and Sammy is rollin around laughin his balls off..I didn't think it was funny. WAKE UP PLAIN!! Your takin care of this parrott. I got enough to do around here. Parrots, Goats, Squirrels, Horses, this place is a regular Ark... Where is McHugh when we need him.. WAKE UP ELMER!! Whoa!! the coffee almost went.. OK deep breath, calm down, try and write something profound, yeah right. I got it lets do Parrots, lets see how far we can get with this. Anything to do with Parrtos where they live (Plain and Simpleville), movies, names, some of their cousins if you like.. You know like the naggin little fucks that were the scourge of the sixties, everybody had too have a parakeet, and everyone of them was named Tweety. We had one that was the meanest little bastard you ever want to meet. Lived eighteen years. Never talked just shit, ate and bit the hand that fed him.. MINE!!! Lets get it on..
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Had to clean up, my private area, not bad but a couple of sips hit the nuts.. I'm so used to it, it doesn't even burn anymore..
I am takin:
"Parrot Heads" Come on man I like Buffet a lot. Happy, songs great lyrics, met him in Key West in the 70's he should have stuck with me, he coulda been popular, but Parrot Heads. Give me a fuckin break. Oh well, they ain't hurtin nobody and if you ever been to one of his concerts, it is a happening..I was at one in Philly, (never made the concert) There were actually people building beaches in the parkin lot. They were playin beach volley ball. Bathing suits, bikinis, that rag game where you throw the bean bag in the hole. People settin up bars and bathrooms. Guitar playin and yes all kinds of Caribbean flavor get ups, and costumes, and yes again.. PARROTS!!! There was a lot of ARK ARKIN goin on. Later..
Well it's lonesome in this Old Town, everybody puts me down, I'm a face without a name, walkin in the rain, goin back to Houston, Houston, Houston. A night with Greeny for the Simpleton that can give me the singer.
"Green Parrot" I'm the only one here, and I'm takin the easy ones.
Good Morning - parrots? - ain't to much I can think of in that category - you already came up with Tweety the parakeet (he was mean), Simple forgot to mention that he won Tweety on the Wildwood Boardwalk, actually back in the
50's. Tweety had a mate that lived for about a month, he lived on for a long time - you also took the Green Parrot and Parrot Heads -not much left - how about Long John Silver's parrot-age prevents me from remembering it's name, and lastly - a cockatoo and a toucan! Oops I have a friend who had a parrot (mean one) named Rocco and also a cousin who had a parrot also named Rocco -do they count?
Yeah Strebor of course they count, but you should watch your mouth with tha cockortoo. Yeah, I remmeber Rocco, he used to shit down Cousin Michaels back..Capt. Silvers Parrots name was eze: drum roll........................Charlie
"Arrr!! Jimmmyyy thars Gold on Dem Dere Arrrlannds, right Charrrlie"!!!ARK!!ARK!!! Riiightt Capin Silver!!ARK ARK!!!
Toucan Dance (J-Lo and Plain), but it takes a group to have an orgy.
What did one Parrot say to the other Parrot?? ARK!!
Polly wants a cracker and a shot of Captain Morgan.
Well you got a good one. Even with Google there are Parrot movies I never heard of.
How about H. Ross Parrot.
In the Navy you could ask the Southern Cook what to do with this potato and he would say just go parrot. Parrot is a tough one. Plain hasn't seen this one yet. Did you have a bad dream? That green Parrot is in your mind. Now you have a Parrot and Sammy runing around in your brain. Vodka day you will have two partners to sip with a Squirrel and a Parrot.
See Jimmy Mc, I have plenty of Parrot feathers in my brain of brains I am waitin to spring them on you later..
You know how they got the name Parrot, because they Parrot things that you say.. There is a parrot, that has a vocabulary of over 600 words. Actually 601 because he can say ARK!!!
"Parrot Bay Rum" drink up mate..
Hey Plain had nothin to do with that last post. I Simple take all the credit for that profondunity..
Long John Silvers parrot was named Captain Flint.
I have seen a Parrot Fish up close butnot at a Caribbean resort called Parrots Cay.
Parrots Beak, Cambodia (was not in VN)
Where did you get the name Charlie for Long Silver's parrot? It didn't sound right so I cheated and looked it up - drum roll please rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Captain Flint!
Well, I never heard of this Capt.Flint parrot, and I do one mean impression of Wallace Beery as Long John Silver and whenever I did the impression, I asked my parrot Charlie.. So, Stebor and McHugh if you want to go lookin shit up, go right ahead.. Capt. Flint is cool but to me it will always be Charlie..Just too let you all know. Not, once have I gone googlin to find one answer, they are off the top of my beak or I steal other peoples..
"Capt. Flint struts around, neck bobbing back and forth. Into the sand rink drops Charlie. Charlie AWKS out AWK We'll end this once and for alllll, AWK We'll end this once and for all.."Capt Flint advances beak protruding and jabbing at Charlie. Charlie whacks out a wing catches The Captain in the right side eye.. Strut, strut strut strut, lots of posturing going on. WAIT they jump at each other Talons bared beaks a pumpin. Charlie is hangin onto The Capt. beak with his beak.. They are beak to beak.. What the fuck, who is this black guy jumpin in the middle of this shit.. It is Michael Vick.. He is EGGING them on, hey fuck face you are supposed to seperate them..Oh yeah, I got carried away thought I was back in Bad Flewz Cages...Pulls them apart and everybody says it was a draw..I ain't lettin this go..Parrot fighting, here at the ville...
Let's leave the dog-killer out of this. Just the sound of his name makes me want to throw up. Haven't been interested in the Eagles since Pig Reid and Beetlejuice Lurey signed him on. I admitted to looking up Cpt. Flint but that is the first time I ever looked anything up. Charlie just didn't sound right. You better get a pet license for the ville; you're accumulating more animals than I think is allowed in the ville.
My word is redly - apparent color used to describe Plain's cheeks after an encounter with J-Lo.
My new sign over top of our newest building "The Arena Of Lost Boids"
Sign Says:
"If your gonna AWK the AWK!!
"Ya gotta WALK the WALK"
"Squawk Box"
Just called myself Simpe.. Somehow that seems befitting..
How AWKward!!!
You know you guys are almost quittin on Parrots, but there are parakeets, and lorykeets and toucans, and all kinds of parrot shit out there, and believe me if you go to the right places in this world there is a lot of Parrot shit.
If its feet fit on a limb and they shit through feathers, speaks or not they are rats with wings.That's right RATS with wings they eat and shit and make a fricking mess. the only bird I really liked was the one on a frootloop' box. well I just lied I like the one that I flip at people who cant drive. The real Bird..Nice talking to ya all. and I do agree the comment about the dog killer,he should have hot coffee spilled on his nuts as he is hung by them. Last comment was for my Cuzzzz.
James, you are right birds are rats with wings and squirrels are rats with bushy tails. Hi Cuz!
Oink!!!!!
Arf!!
WHERE THE FUCK IS PLAIN???
WHO THE FUCK IS JAMES??? and why are him and Strebor talkin like animals. I'll never understand this place.. James did say something pertinent that I never thought of. I think it was one of them "Confucious Say" "Bird who shit through feathers, never has to wipe its ass." Yeah that was it..
"Bird Brain"
We couldn't come up with anymore parrot stuff so we switched to animal sounds. We knew you wouldn't mind. BAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Greeny walks back and forth on his perch ark ark putting his wings up and pointing at simple with one of his tallons, where the rest of that Capt. Morgans Gold ark?With a side of Ginger ale.
Are you parroting me?? I think Plain is AWOL!!! Not again Plain!!
So you thought Parrot was hard. Hah! Everyday just can't be easy! We have a new animal in the Ville, Greeny flew all the way up here from the Keys. You were supposed to welcome Greeny without stretched wings. Well don't worry about it, he is Plains responsiblity. I am just taken care of him for the day.. OW!! OW!! Let go of my fuckin finger.. OW!! OW!!! son of a pecker!! If I get you I'll rip your lower beak off. ARK!!! ARK!!! LOOK UP IN THE TREE, ARK!! ARK!!! UP IN THE TREE!! Come on down I'll tear your feathers out!!! ARK!!! ARK!!! Fuck You Simple ARK!! Fuck you!!!! I get him I behead him..
And hey Simple Buffet told me about meeting you in the 70's he sent me up here to do a merger for Polygram Records he wants to hook up with Warner Brothers and Keebler !!!!ARK We could be called "Poly Warner Crackers"
And ya better get those canerys outta here there's a disease called CHIRPES it's a Canarial Disease and there's no TWEETMENT for it
Plain struts into the ville strut strut strut sup ya'll be out golfing and doing the baseball thing.
Hey Greeny how is ya ? I see ya met everyone You Get any Tweetment for that cold? Hows Buffet doing?Have ya met Sammy he's flying around here some where and he loves Rum too.
Well J-Los on I'll be back
Plain is back!!! WAH fuckin HOO!!!
You better take care of this parrot dude. I'm gonna behead the prick..
Comes in here one day and is acting like the cock of the rooste. There were two other parrots here today. Capt. Flint and Charlie, they were fightin in the new Arena. Greeney didn't want any parts of that. He bit me and flew into a tree with another Captain, one Morgan and yes with a splash of ginger ale. MMMM cream soda, baby!! One great COCKTAIL!!!! Simple is on top of his game. ARK!! ARK!! Fuck you Simple!!!ARK!!
Well they got rid of the right one tonite on Idol good damn thing they didnt get rid of Haley that's my girl she should win it not only can she sing and Dance she is a hOTTIE!!!!!
And my buddy Greeny is here he just flew down on my shoulder. Simple tells me ya bit him Greeny whats up with that ? Arkkk he hids the Capt Morgans ARK he's tighter than a Hippos ass in water when it comes to the rum ark ark.
This is true Greeny he's a Pirate when it comes to his Capt . Morgans but Sammy has a stash too and he has some grey Goose up there ARKKKKKK See ya Plain I'm headin up to Sammys and i have something for you a Wild Goose Yikesssssssssssss ya lil Bastard. .........Turn out the lightssssssssssssss........ the Partyssssssssssssss overrrrrrrrrrrr.............Good Nite God Bless Ya'll
Wow, there we go. Plain just found out Greeny is a prick.. I know one thing, once again I am the only one out here in the streets tonite, just got done cleanin up bird shit.. I'll save it we can use it for fertilizer whe we build Sammy a new tree. What am I in third grade. Damn this place is making me nuts.
Well we did the Parrot thing today. Yeah, everybody cried because it was hard on them, feel bad for them (choke, gag, gag,)Maybe tomorrow we can do our abc's that should be easy enough. No rules or I would say no Bitchin..I'm the one that got bit, I'm the one cleanin up the shit. Wait I gotta hide the Capt. Morgan. Alright, day is done. The ville is dark and clean. We will hit it again tomorrow, along with a lot of other people. We are approaching another milestone. Thanks, to all the good citizens, here at Plain and Simpleville, thanks to all the people that stop in to comment, Thanks to all the people that peek in don't say anything, but hopefully get a laugh or two..and most of all Thanks To My Main Man Plain. Stay out of harms way everybody. Closin the cages and callin. TAPS...
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