Tuesday, April 12, 2011
"Today Is The Twelfth Day Of April In The Year Of Our Lord 2011."
Mornin. There see how fast that night went. Now, you can get up and do your thing all over again. If ya hate what you are doing, do somethin else. Easier said than done, right!! Hey, I hate my fuckin job man. I'm tired of the boss's shit and the ride in is atracious. I gotta get outta there. Why don't you just quit and get another job?? Yeah right, companies are just beggin for people to come in off the streets and work for them.. Advice from Simple, hang in until things get better..Better too have something than nothing..Although I do know it is a tough situation when you wake up everyday and have to go do something you hate. Man, life is way to short for that kinda living.. I was going to talk about fluctuations in temperatures and here I am talking about hating whatever it is your doing. Definetly need help!! I really am getting to the point where I don't think anybody can help me. I Simple Lord Of The Simpletons is beyond help..So, the topic for today, is going to be Cold. You know why, because yesterday was Hot, so if the weather can change drastically, why can't we. We can, not everybody can, but we can. That is what is great about livin in this Ville, we can do whatever the fuck we want..No Rules: Let's do COLD you know the exercise, let the comments begin..Change is good Dollars are better.!!!
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52 comments:
I forgot to do COLD!!
"I gotta Cold"
"You sound like you got a Cold"
"Colder than a witches tit"
"Cold Medicine"
"Coldplay"
I'm so bummed out after our beautiful day yesterday to wake up to another COLD day. Hate it. Not ready to play yet. Later!
Colder that a grave diggers ass.
Colder than a Polar Bears Toenail
That's Cold Man
Ice Water
Water Ice
Your as cold as ice
Colders than Plains balls today.
Cold feet
cold shoulder
cold water
cold-hearted
"Baby it's cold outside"
"Cold Mountain"
Cold-Stone Creamery
"Hey get your cold beer"
Bosses are like diapers always on your ass and usually full of shit , now that's COLD
It was so cold this morning Simple threw his coffee on his nuts
it was so cold this morning Richards Simmons had pants on
it was so friggin cold Donald trumps hair broke
it was so cold I tried to open the mail and the envelope broke
so friggin cold J-lo went from hot to tepid
I even saw some friggin Democrats with there hands in there own pockets
But it was great out on the golf course I was hot as hell
Man, everybody seems a little cold today. Got a little taste of the good weather yesterday, now everybody feelin a little down.. They (whoever THEY are) say that weather does effect the human phyche. How about the human physicality.. You kiddin me. It don't effect you physically if you are sweating your nuts off (Sammy in Summer) or freezin your ass off in winter. How about if that really happened. You know it gets real hot out and you sweat profusely, and your nuts fall off. WOW!! or on the other side. You are freezin cold and your ass falls off.. tell me this language ain't fucked up. How about I'm sweatin my neck off, or I'm sweatin my eyebrows off. Or, I am freezing my hair off. Man, what a world that would be. Then tell me the weather doesn't effect your ass, your neck your nuts, your entire being.. You gotta dig weather.
"Ice Cold"
"Cold Sore"
"Cold Cuts" (Whatever happened to Alex's)
My check in word is (frazzled bird or duck drops down) slushi, now that is cold.
Your're right simple why is it freezing your nuts off why can't it be lips or nostril?Or I'm freezing my finger off. Stupid shit who makes this up I might have to call Cliff Claven to find out I'll get back to ya, I'm freezing my ear lobe off
Cold War
Cold steel
Cold Blooded Killer
Cold hands
The trail has gone cold
Spies can come in from the cold.
Dropped my motorhome off at the RV center this morning for un-winterizing and an oil change... hope it warms up enough so I can get first trip North in by the middle of May. Wife is definitely not a "cold weather" camper.
You mentioned cold cuts... I remember Al's in the Domino Lane center and at Ridge and Lyceum(?). Here's a memory point possibly for some of you...thought of it this morning at a place we stopped for breakfast... anyone recall Kate the big Southern lady cook at Kollers Kitchen... she made a really great cheese omelet and the best damn pan fried hash browns I ever had... she used to sprinkle them with paprika as they fried.
Kate was the man
Stone Cold Austin
When Hell Freezes over
Strebor took the reast - forgot the "here" on cold beer
Wow Sara is back !!!!! Waves to ya are you cold ? or just happy to see me smirks!
Okay peeps I called Cliff Claven he tells me it's a lil known fact this saying came from a bet, he stated two farmers that didnt like each other much when there was a cold period that whom ever could keep there ass out the window the longest would win a Bottle a Vodka so they both put there asses out the window well after two hours they were both freezing there ass off and Bob's girlfriend said look I hate john so when he isnt looking we will change places he wont know because all he can see is from your ass upto your head i'll put on a shirt and hat just like yours so when John wasnt looking , bob and his girlfriend changed places after another hour Johns wife pulls up and says what the hell are you doing ? John explained to her and she said your both nuts you will freeze your ass off get out of that window!!!!! John said hell no I want to win this bet he already froze his nuts off !!!!!! This is a lil known fact where freezing your ass and freezing your nuts off came from.........nods and walks away
Plain, loved your stories of the origins of freezing you ass off and freezing your nuts off. LOL!!
Welcome back Sara, where ya been?
Yes Strebor, anything I can do to help answer questions, it's why I am here.I am a plethora of useless knowledge and facts.Not only those two Phrases came from Bob and Johns bet it's also a lil known fact that " are those two asses still hanging out together" were invented.......nods and walks away
Thanks Plain, your wisdom and your way of teaching us all about these ludicrous statements, in this thing we call the English language never cease to amaze me..That was one hell of an explanation of freezin your balls off and freezin your ass off. I promise you one thing, I will never forget it..LOL.
Hi Sarah, I'm still alive. I don't know how, but I am..
Hey Pat, Kate was definetly the Man. We used to be lined up 4 deep at 4AM to eat at Kollers..The diner on the Ridge I believe belongs to Bob Koller..It used to be 20th Century. It has pretty good chow..Yeah also on Al's not Alex's, that is a pizza joint..
"Cold Shoulder"
"Stone Cold Steve Austin"
You think your cold, I heard a story about a farmer that froze his nuts off on a bet. Yeah man, true story, your can read about it in Plain and Simpleville..
Simple, Please read all the comments. Cold Shoulder(Strebor) and Stone Cold Austin(Sara) were already taken.
I have to live up to my name. I have to use other people's words, especially when I can't think of my own.
Cold hmmmmmm.... hmmmmmmmmm..
"I'm gettin colder." Hmmmmmmm. hmmmmmmm. warmer.........hmmmmm...
colder!!!! Really COLD!!!!
Hey Strebor who is Strebor and amp Sara.. Are they two new citizens of the Ville??
typo - should have been Strebor & Sara
No Simple Sara isn't new she has been hitting on me for awhile now.But i'm no easy pickup,and she has slick and i'm married so maybe in another life.
And you need to pay attention SimpleI know it's not that simple for you Simple but it really simple, if you aren't a simpleton, Simple. WTF am I saying gawd you make me simple, Simple
"You gettin Cold Feet?"
"Cold and Flu Season."
"Cold Cold Heart"
"Cold Medicine."
"Kissling Fresh Sauerkraut Hot or Cold."
"Your gonna catch a Cold."
How do you catch a Cold? Does somebody throw it to you? How about if you miss it do you get another chance?, or does somebody else get a chance to catch it. This language is fucked up....
Hey Plain, no worries. I understand your last comment, and I thank you from the bottom of my Cold, Cold heart!!!!
Simple, now, you are repeating yourself......................
"Catch a cold" is more a medaphor than an idom. It is a lil known fact that you catch a baseball, and a cold catches you.Catch means to grasp, you catch a ball,you catch a cold idiomatically.It's Plain and Simple fact. Shugs and walks away.
Hey I got two good ones!!!!!!
Cold shoulder
Stone cold Steve Austin
Smirks and gives Simple the cold shoulder
Don't remember Alex's pizza... do remember the 20th Century Diner... ah "The Ridge" - a trek for a Wissahickon kid... there was a place in the middle of the block across from Ryan's Army Navy Store that had Taylor Pork Roll with eggs... I think it was called Taylor's...long time ago for me. I remember buying Levi 501's at Bobman's for $7.50 a pair... and a hamburger/fries and a Coke at the lunch counter at the Woolworth's for 60 cents and then buying loose candy to smuggle into the Roxy.
Alrighty Then, everybody bury the Simple one today. Have a good old time, just remember, every dog has its day. Whatever the fuck that means.. Thanks Plain, cold shoulder is a good thing right??
Hey Pat, the only thing left on your nostalgic tour up the Ridge is Taylors. I don't know anybody that goes in there anymore..That was the Green Parrot when we were kids. They called it the Green Parrot, because a Green Parrot lived there..True story. I saw him with my own eyes..
I think I can recall the parrot... he was in a cage in the window or was that in some X rated movie I saw.
There was shoe store in that same block where my Mom always took all of us kids for our "good school and church shoes"... Foster's. You were measured and fitted by old guys (probaly younger than we are now)who wore ties... no just pick them off the rack stuff here.
I remember when they built Burgerville - before Ray Kroc ever though of moving east of Chicago and the coupons for a free burger and shake that were in the Review. I collected all the papers from the neighbors for that one and ate free there for a week. Great Memories... great neighboorhood... great people.
Simple you are correct about the Green parrot, but it is a lil known fact that the owner brought that parrot off a big Black guy that walked into the resturant one the opening day , he had the parrot on his shoulder and the owener says where did you get that? And the parrot answered in North Philly there's millions of em, the owner brought the Green Parrot on the spot!
Rmember its Lent and we are trying to be kind to Simple. We all have flaws but the cold shoulder isn't right at this time of year. That is being cold for the ville. Respect our founder at least until Easter. Right Simple?
It is also a known fact that the Green Parrot knew the whole menu and would suggest things to customers as they came in, business boomed right up until the day the owner wouldn't give old Greeny his watermellon seeds. The parrot was pissed and started telling everyone go down to Kollers Kitchen tell Kate Elloitt I sent youshe makes the best cheese Omlet and Pan fried hash browns ever and she sprinkles them with paprika!!!!!!ARK ARK then would yell if you eat this shit you will die( This is where then saying eat shit and die came from)<<<just thought you people should know that.
So Kollers kitchen went out of Bussiness as they sold to Taylors, Greeny now lives in the Islands just off of Aruba he is 103 years old and we still communicate to this day by carrier pigeon
Jimmy Mc if Simple calls me at 4:30 am again he will get a cold Boulder
Keep goin, you are doin the Simple stomp today, but as you know Simple and take a lickin and keep on a tickin.. Yeah how that cold shoulder shit duing Lent. You could all wait till Easter is over, Jimmy is right again. Plain, I knew that Parrot well. I didn't know his name was Greeny (that took a lot of thought to come up with that name.) I did not know he was still alive. Why don't you invite him up to Plain and Simpleville and introduce him to Sammy. It would be kinda neat too have a parrot around. This way I would always have somebody to talk too.. Whaddaya say Plain, think you can entice him out of the Islands and into the Ville. I think we can have some fun with a Parrot..
Pat, a while back J. McC aka BACSL and I did a whole rundown on the stores, etc. that were located on the Ridge. The Old Green Parrot did become Taylors quite a while ago and is still there as Taylors. That is about the only original store that is still there. Bobman's is gone, gone, gone. It is now the Rox. Post Office. Foster's Shoe Store is now The Crossroads Coffee Shop, Rox.'s answer to Starbucks but there is a Starbucks at Ridge & Martin. You were also right about Al's Cold Cuts having a store at Lyceum & Ridge, and also in the Domino Lane Shopping Center. The Ridge & Lyceum locale is long gone, and a few years ago the Super Fresh expanded and took over the old Al's in Domino. Al's moved a few doors up but re-opened as a sandwich shop only; you could no longer get cold cuts there unless you ordered it on a sandwich; went out of business in less than a year. Woolworth's is also long gone. No more Roxy movie either. The 20th Century is still there but is called Bob's diner. You wouldn't recognize the Ridge if you haven't been here for a while. Sad!
Good memory Plain... Kate Elliot... could not think of her last name. She was from Alabama, she, her husband and their two kids lived on my street in a 1/2 house rental for a short time. Great short order cook and with almost the same flapping arm movement as Organ Annie.
I heard that Greeny now works for Buffet... as the model for the stuff the parrot heads wear.
Since Lent has been mentioned quite a few times in today's comments I want to share with you a funny story about Lent. Simple's and my Dad. who Plain refers to as Big Irish even tho he was of German descent, would ask us what we were giving up for Lent. Simple would usually say I ain't giving anything up and I would usually reply with the same answer every kid did back then, candy. Then even tho the Simp and I knew what he would say, we would ask him what he was giving up - his answer was SKYDIVING!!!! So that's what Simple and I have been giving up for the past 40 Lents or so. We've never broken it!
You know what really screws me up. Well almost everything but, really being on West Coast Time or Plain and Simple Time, because the stat sheet gives me stats from the time that the Ville was incorporated into a sub division of a blogosphere, and that was West Coast Time not East Coast time, so the stats are wrong from our outlook, but if we were on the West Coast they would be right from their outlook.. Never mind, I just figured it out.. OK on we go..
Simple you are in luck Greeny is flying up this thursday to vist some old peacock friends of his In the zoo he is thinking of moving back up here for the summer he loves the Phillies and he tells me if there is a good head wind he might be here wed nite.
Great memory Strebor I couldn't of done better myself omg lmao haaaaaa of course I could have who am I kidding.
And yes Jimmy Mc, Greeny does work with Buffet he also does movies he's in all the priate ones he stared in Priates of the Carribean A guy named Johnny Depp was a co-star with Greeny
And speaking of lent Simple I want the 20 Back I lent ya last week.
Well Annonymous keep your Mother off the Streets and it wont happen anymore
I think PatMc needs to pay anon a visit. there are no rules so..........
It takes alot of guts to use an annomymous name and call someone names. That punk was the asshole that got slapped in the schoolyard and never won a fight in his life, nothing but a cyber bully , Punk and a coward. And my Name is Terry Morris tough guy
he called us all assholes whats his Point ?
Hey Anon, you talkin too me. Call anythime: Ernest F. Keebler.
609-923-7623.
Better yet pay a visit.
2 Linda Lane
Southahampton NJ 08088.
Call, or come on around anytime and we will see who is a motherfucker and who is an asshole. What ya say buddy, give up your name and address, or are you really that big a pussy..Come on name caller give it up. That was a ugly thing for you to say too me and my friends. I know one thing for sure, you don't know us, and I know one more thing for sure, you don't want too...Come on man, give it up..No worries, just your mother fuckin ass.
Smirks as I strut thru Simpleville strut ,strut, strut,strut.......turn outtttttttttt the lightsssssssss.....the partyssssssssssss over ......aint scared of nuttin breathing dude smirks.........Good Nite God Bless.......and one more thing punk ass don't take kindness as weakness I'll rip your eye out and thret on it just to see what the other one does!!!!!
Hey Anon, this be Ernest again, just flushed you and your mother like the piece of shit you both are.. Have a nice ride, down the pipe. Your more than welcome to leave another message, just make sure to identify yourself. If not, I'll just flush you and Mama back down the sewer....I hear it's COLD down there..
Well we ran hot and cold, today. That's how life goes here in the Ville. We had a flusher, he got flushed, just like all shit. You guys did great burnin me today, it was supposed to be cold, but I was in the deep fryer..Actually kinda cold in the ville right now. Wind a howlin me and Plain on the hunt. Lookin for an eye. You know like when Greeny arrives Eye Eye.., Yeah man, we will be keepin and eye out for that arrival.. Until then, hope all you assholes errrrrrrrr!! I mean citizens, had a good time LOL!!!!! Stay out of harms way my friends. TAPS..
Hey Anonymous two ex Mariens your messing with.
aint No such thing as an ex Marine annon.And we don't wanna scare him.He's already a chicken shit! Good Nite ya'll
Sorry typo Marine
Former Marines.
Time to hit the rack.!!
Hey Guys... it's kind of nice to know that this site has garnered enough recognition outside our little group that it now has its own sick ass gay demented "troll". Who is trying to be relevant in his own small mind with his comments while hiding his sexual and verbal inadequacies under the cover of being so uncreative as to call himself Annonymous.
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