"Today is the 28th and Last Day Of February In The Year Of Our Lord 2011"

Mornin,  Wasn't it just Groundhog Day.  Where does time go when you are having fun, or not having fun ?Hey that's a good thought or question for the day.  Where does time go?  What does that mean?  Does time go somewhere or someplace.  Kinda just a metaphor for the way days and years slip away.  That is really an abstract question, but if any of you travellers through Plain and Simpleville think you know an answer PULEEEEZE yell it out..  I can't wait to hear the proufoundity (I don't know if that is a word), of the answers that this will inspire. 
I am sure you have all woken up some morning and the day is already toast and you haven't even brushed your teeth yet.  Welcome to Simple's Monday morning.. Three strikes your out at the old ballgame.  I'm already out and it is only3:50 A.M. Plain and Simple time.  Strike One It is Monday... Strike Two....Dentist Appointment 8:00  A.M.   Strike Three Lawyer Appointment 11:30 A.M.  Some days the diamond some days the stone. Well for the rest of you travelling at warp speed through our universe, come on in and lay down some fun..Wait till Plain opens them, bloodshot eyes and starts to wonder where time went, I think he forgot the sixties and seventies.  Plain ya gotta take over, I am gone most of the day.  I am sure I will be entertained when I get back..  Jim keep recruitin we only had 2344 applications yesterday, you gotta do a better job, or I'll sic Jack the Lipper on ya.  WAKE UP PLAIN!!!! Talk to you guys when I get back. Monday, Monday so good to me....Yeah right....

"Today Is The Twenty-Seventh Day Of February In The Year Of Our Lord 2011"

Mornin got one for ya to get you going a little.  If you don't know the tune read it slow..
Well I woke up Sunday Mornin with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt, and the beer I had for breakfast, wasn't bad so I had one more for dessert, then I stumbled to my closet for my clothes picked out my cleanest dirty shirt, I brushed my teeth and combed my hair and stumbled down the stairs to meet the day. I smoked my brain the night before on marijuana and booze that I'd been drinkin, and I watched a small boy cursin at a can that he been kicken. Then somewhere in the distance I caught the familiar smell of someone fryin chicken and took me back to someplace, somewhere, somehow I left along the way.  On a Sunday mornin sidewalk wishin Lord that I was stoned, cause there's somethin in a Sunday makes a body feel alone, and there's nothin short of dyin half as lonesome as the sound of a sleepin city sidewalk, Sunday Mornin Comin Down.......
First verse of Sunday Mornin Comin Down, written by Kris Kristofferson. One of my favorites.  A lot of peole don't know how great a song writer and guy Kristofferson really is.  He wrote Me and Bobby McGee and gave it to Janis Joplin, because she could sing it much better than him.  They told him, when he performed this song for the first time at the Grande Old Opry that he could not sing Wishin Lord That I Was Stoned, Johnny Cash being one of the elder statesman that said that could not be done.  Well Kris looked right at him when he sang Wishin Lord that I was stoned.  It must have been ok cause it brought the house down.  One last tidbit on one of my favorite song writers and all around good guys.  He was also a drunk, plt smokin, Rhodes Scholar and Golden Glove Boxing Champion.  "For The Good Times".
OK got that done. In last nights sign off I forgot about my Sweetheart, ( I knew I would forget somebody).  Well she gave me some very nice compliments (read them at the end of yesterdays post), and says she would like to meet me.  Sweetheart I appreciate that, but the more distance you keep the better off you will be, I aint as nice as I evidently sound.  I can be a real pain in the balls.  Nobody believes that do ya??  Wait until you hear Plain on that one.  How about we reached 500 hits, I guess that is pretty impressive, I really don't  know and I really don't care that is not what this is about.  This is for us and our friends, to vent and laugh and bring on the inspiration..  The thought for the day idea is good (BAC SL) please everyone help out.  I only have three or four thoughts  an entire day, most of them are fucked up.. I guess a thought for the day could be anything that jumps into your medulla..Try this, " Hey don't  let him get your goat",.........................................................................................There did you try it, what the fuck.  Don't let him get your goat.  Who has a goat and who would want it?  A goat would eat your house.  As far as I am concerned the dude with the goat can keep it.  You guys agree or what?? who makes up this shit.  I know that is not a real profound thought, but it is the best I got right now.  I'm still singin... If I am not telling a true story, I will make that none, this is real.. When I first moved to the Pine Barrens, the only bar around was the Pic-A-Lilly Inn.  This is in the mid-seventies.  The big attraction was you got to drink with a goat.  I get a basketball game with the State Troopers against The guys from Philly.  Well, they all come over, and I remember Jimbo bringin the ball up and puttin up one finger and shit.  (hysterical). Naturally we kick their ass, now we head for the Pic. Dig this, a bunch of city guys drinkin it up and in comes the goat, this prick puts his front hoofs on the bar right next to me, he has pretty big horns and on the bar he has to be close to six feet. Bartender says, "you guys buyin"?  "Buyin"?? I'm still in shock... The deal is the goat drinks shots and beers so of course we set him up.. This dude wraps his lips around the bottle of Miller High Life throws back his head drains it, and starts gnawing on the bottle. Buy him a shot and he does the same thing.  We are nuts, he got ten shots and beers lined up and proceeds to get smashed along with the rest of us goats, then his hooves start slidin and down the bar he goes and falls on the floor.  I remember Tommy, Dave, Jimbo, I don't know if Plain was there, if he was I am sure he can estrapulate upon the story.. You can actually read about him in the Inquirer archives.  Only in the Pine Barrens Baby..

Today is the 26th Day of February in the Year of Our Lord 2011 A.D.

The thought for Today is : "If everything is coming your way", then your in the wrong Lane!

The Question for today is If the Professor on Gilligans Island can make a Raido out of a Coconut, why the hell couldn't he fix that hole in the boat ? This blog. was done by Plain and it is so SIMPLE

"Today Is The 25th Day Of February In The Year Of Our Lord 2011"

Man did I fuck up.  I wrote the post in the comment, then copied it and pasted it to Post, but it wouldn't accept any comments.  I thought I did somethin good. I should no better.  Anyway I hope this new one works.  Called a old and dear friend of mine this mornign one "Edward Babe Witkowski.  Yesterday was his last day of work, he is officially retired.  When he picked up the phone this morning I started yellin where the fuck you at your truck is waiting your late for work.  He hurried up and got dressed. NOT. He just said as soon as he sees me I am dead.  What else is new.  Thought you might enjoy that.  HAPPY VODKADAY.  The very first one on Plain and Simple.  I will be back after I have a few and become a little enhanced, never drunk that is a nasty word, and as we all know I never go nasty...

Today Is The 24th Day Of February In The Year Of Our Lord 2011

Mornin, HOW MANY TIMES, HOW MANY SHIRTS, HOW MANY SCALDED BALLS, BEFORE I STOP SPILLIN COFFEE ALL OVER MYSELF!!!!!!!!  Does have a knack for wakin ya up though.. I must have accumulated 100 shirts over the years, that I still wear.  Nothin to look at but still servicable.  There ain't one, not one I tell you without a coffee stain..Anyway as I look at this turmoil in the Middle East, one cannot help but wonder.  What would Iraq have done?  If these shouters and kneelers, you know the sheople of the Middle East, they shout and then turn to Mecca to say some prayers, can bring down Kadaffy Duck, would Saddam be far behind..  Them Kurds never really did like him and he was kinda wearin thin with the whole world. Just a thought..I think they would have brought him down, and we would have 4000 not countin wounded Serviceman still with us.  You know what significance today holds.  It is ten months until mayhem, that is right ten months until Christmas Eve.  I just want to bring that to our young subscription bases attention.  We have a very large contingent of under thirty year olds.  The haven't signed up yet, but they are waiting, I am checkin out their portfolios, to see if they are worthy of our selection commitee.  Plain as usual is shovelin, shittin or hittin golf balls.  The hell with the words today, lets think a little.  Name people that would be recognizable by just one name.  Try and name at least ten.  The can be used example: The Mick.. I will start and look for your more than profound observations as the day continues.  Hey anybody lookin in, sign in there aint nobody gonna hurt ya, this is Plain and Simple..  OK some of my people, I am just starting out with five:   Attilla,   Cher,   The Babe,  Napolean,  Christ..... Give it a shot.. TTYL.  Hey Plain if you can't think of one give me a call I will help you out.  That may be cheatin, but I know how difficult it is for you to concentrate sometimes.  I still love you though...

Today Is The 23rd Day Of February In The Year Of Our Lord 2011

Mornin, the only reason I know the date and year is because my calander is right in front of me.. I don't know what time it is, and in retrospect I guess I don't really care.  Where the fuck is the General when we need him..  That's right PLAIN I want to COM_PLAIN about thatsshole Cataldi.  Here is a puke from Rhode Island with that New England nasal ass twang to his voice, runnin a sports show in Philly.  What does this buffoon know of Philly.  Did he come up through the Public or Parochial school systems, did he attend one of our High Schools or Universities, did he watch the Phillies finish in last place every year.  Was he here when the Eagles really sucked.  Did he see The Sixers lose more games in one season of any pro team ever invented.. NO NO and NO.  How does this New England Moron rate a show and a following like he has?  There is nothing Philly about him, he is not funny, he brags about being cheap.  This fuck face makes a million a year and brags about how much he stiffs waitresses.  I would like nothing better than to see him kicked off the show and kicked in the nuts from Fairmount to Frankford.  I haven't listened nor will I listen to his stupid remarks.  The prick also thinks he is funny.  I find him an obnoxious punk, and his team of suck-ups are even worse.  Morganti is another New England fuck, what is he doing in Philly. In fact, I want them out of town.  Do they still tar and feather people.  Wow!! that had to hurt.  That would really be cool have those two on a rail, tarred and feathered and we all carry them up Broad St. drop them at Broad and Diamond, and leave them there.  I cannot understand why anybody listens to this jerk off.  I listened for about six months before I came to the conclusion that if I listened to him anymore.  I was going to jail, because I was going to lead a raid on WIP. Of course I would lead it and also follow it, because I would be the only one there.   In parting I would just like to say, in my infinite wisdom, fuck cataldi, morgani and the rest of th morning crew.  they don't deserve capital letters.  Where is the spelling check??  Gotta run.  Talk to our 3876 subsribers later..

Lookin Around

Place needs a little fixin up.  Some of the bloggers that want to blog can't blog because they aren't signed in.  I know who can help me.  That Monk killer McCool.  Ok Jim, Please explain to our uneducated blogger wanna bees, how they sign in, I would appreciate that, and give you a .01% discount on your next bill.  After looking around further, looks kinda quiet.  Guess I'll wait to do a rant tomorrow, I gotta burn somebody big time. His name is Angelo Cataldi.. I ain't sayin nothin else, because I don't want to get all riled up tonight.  I am turning out the lights and hittin the rack.. Goodnight to all you good people.  Bring more in, everyone loves to have fun.. This internet is here, why shouldn't we and our friends enjoy it.  Goodnight everybody and talk to y'all tomorrow..

Today is the 22nd Day of February In The Year Of Our Lord 2011

That would make the date 2/22/11.  Two Two Tootsie Goodbye.  Just felt like singin, as I just got done shovelin and broomin and saltin, why do we live here.. 
Anyway if yesterday was Presidents Day, what is today, Vice Presidents Day, and why do they call them Vice Presidents, because if El Presinente' gets caught fuckin off, he can always blame the Vice President and say he has a lot of Vices.  I am just speculating here.  I don't even want to go near politics and it seems like this Presidents Day thing has led me assunder.  I also, need to find that spelling check. Maybe Anon or JayNine or even Strebor or one of the other 22 pirates that raided this site may be able to help me.  Yes that is correct Plain, there is a way to check how many people invaded our blog.  Yesterday it was 22.  They are pirating one of the most famous blogs of all time and we are letting them get away with it.  They come in read the comments and scurry off the ship.. What to do.  I need direction Plain.. Well have a Great, Great Vice Presidents Day, and I am sure I will be hearing from you..

Today is the 21st day of February in The Year of Our Lord 2011

Today we celebrate Presidents Day.  Really not a lot to celebrate, but it is a National Holiday, honoring Washington and Lincoln.  Only about 3 million Americans died on Lincolns watch.  Why not throw Thomas Jefferson in here also, he of the "All Men are created equal" theory. Now, I think I'll go get me a slave too fuck..  How about Edgar Buchannon, everybody knows what he did NOTHING... We have FDR he only got us out of the depression and guided the Country through World War II, also married to the biggest bitch on earth. Eleanor, once made a soldier get out of his seat on an airplane so her dog could sit down. Then we have Tricky Dick Nixon "I am not a crook" of course not, you are completely innocent we alll know that.  Lest we forget Lady with the blue dress, blue dress on.  Billy Goat Clinton.  "I did not have sex with that woman".  Well what was that stain on her dress, your drool?? Last but not least W.  The War in Iraq is over, really that was four years ago and 4000 American Lives, glad its over...Happy Presidents Day!!!!!!

Post Number 5

Plain wants to know who is hosting the Oscars? Why he wants to know this, I have no idea.
Simple on the other hand wants to know who the hell is this guy Oscar??
Let me see a show of subscriptions today.. I have been working diligently all weekend.  I typed so fuckin much I don't have any fingerprints!!!!!

Post Number 4

Hey Plain, we will start getting subscribers tomorrow, right.  I have put a lot of work into this. We already have two followers, but I think one of them is plain and the other is simple.  Not sure, but I am sure they will be lining up tomorrow, waiting for that beginning of the week post.

Post Number Three

Call me Simple will ya.  Simple is off an runnin baby.. I guess you want me to tell you how to do it?? Ha!! and Eddie didn't instruct me... I stumbled upon this after 18 hours all by my lonesome...

Second Post.

Plain, don't think I am a genius (ahem) because I am postinnngggg.., the fact is I don't know how I did it.  Don't tell any prospective subscribers.  They might think low of me...
Simple..

My First post

This is the Plain and Simple rambling of two madmen. . . Loons if you will.  Look for interesting and very profound musings on Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of the next Hangover.