It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off...YO!! I salute you, My Main Man Plain, you did a wonderful job on that Post yesterday..Must really have been very trying for you too work on a Post with your busy schedule of trying to figure out how too do nothing..Your on my last nerve again Plain. Somehow, you have a wonderful knack for doing that...Thinkin about comin up the Yunk for VODKADAY, but right now I am in sleep deprivation mode..Eyes bugging outta my head ala Marty Feldman..go ahead laugh it up I am used to it...Yesterday, I had Phil The Thrills, beautiful young daughter Ashley who happens to be a good friend of mine tell me, she didn't know I was a religious fanatic..I said, Ashley whatever do you mean?? She says well on your blog everyday it says In The Year Of Our Lord...OH!! UHMM! Read a few of them Ash, and UHMM!! make sure I censor them, UHMMM, nothing too much to do with Religion unless I am downing it..LOl!!
LAST VODKADAY OF AUGUST, Where did the summer go?? I can hear the sheople now...Hurry up Linda, get Jimmy and Catey (Where the fuck is Catey), in their car seats, we have to get on the road before all these other assholes and get down the shore too dip our toes in the Ocean one last time..I am hurrying Harry, this kid won't put his bathing suit on, he keeps yelling it has sand in it, and it makes his balls itchy...Linda, watch your mouth, he didn't say balls...The fuck he didn't...Linda, please, please try and stop using your vulgar language around our children....OK, you two kids stay right here, she shuts the door, hey Harry how's this fuck you?? Linda, you are asking for a fight and I refuse to get into one with you, it is Labor Day Weekend, and we must get too the shore...Let me jump in here for one moment, oh this is Simple, Hey asshole the temperature of the Ocean off of Atlantic City was 78' last November...Please all you morons that think summer ends because of this stupid fucking holiday, go dip your toes and put your winter coats on before you leave the beach..Oh Yeah, and don't forget to pay 4.00 a gallon for gas..These dirty scum bags that are ruining our country once again can't wait to rape...Get the sheople for 4.00 a gallon before winter..HAHA!! WOW!! us oil moguls have really bent them over this weekend...
Harry the kids are in their car seats, what the fuck are you doing?? I have to shit Linda, you know the old colitis thing kicking in...Well turn the air conditioner on asshole we will die in this over sized SUV..Are you fucking kiddin, gas is 4.00 a gallon....FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
today is the 30th Day of August in the Year Of Our Lord 2012
Well lets see Simple is on his way to York, Pa.........Shrugs my Question is why ? Its the arm pit of the World ! Its like 45 minutes to Bailtmore, 30 minutes to Harrisburg, and mmmmmm 30 minutes to Gettysburg. And who the hell wants to go there either ?I do know it has the Biggest immigration Jail this side of the Mississippi River and there is alot of Racial tention up there. I spent some time there one Hour back in the 70's. And I know Simples best Holiday is coming up so it made me rember when I met this Black dude up there and we were talking about Holidays, he ask what Holiday do I like better Saint Pratricks Day or Martin Luther King day ? I said Saint Paddys day of course ! And he said why ?I told him the difference between Saint patricks Day and Martin Luther Kind Day is, On Saint Paddys Day everyone wants to be Irish. You figure the rest out. ............................smirks and walks out.........mumbling I have to do all the work around here.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
"Today Is The 29th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off. Mornin, yep, one last indignity last night, I swallowed a fly..This mother fucker, was flying by, that is why they call them flies, just as I was taking a drink of water, and down he goes..that ain't disgusting I don't know what is..I drank a lot of water, and I ate some peanut butter crackers (Keebler's Of Course) in an effort to get my digestive system flowing..I could just see that bastard when those stomach acids got hold of his fuckin wings..I sat there grinning knowing that he was dying and turning into the shit he ate...I HATE FLIES, AND THEIR COUSIN THE MOSQUITO!!I especially hate swallowing them, yep, not the first time..If they had a fly swallower in the circus it would be me, my booth would be right next to the geek..Movin on to today's theme..Yes, siree Bob, those multiple personality disorders...Now we all know "The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde., but a little Plain and Simple take (the real truth and nothing but the truth)...This Jekyll guy, was supposed to be Mr. Nice Guy, well if he was such a nice fucking guy, why did he keep drinking that potion that turning himself into Hyde I'll tell you why deep down he was a narcissitic, hedonist, and liked that shit, and well, fuck everybody else (we all know people like that).Well, that is what Dr. Jekyll did, he kept firing even when Hyde was raping and beating everyone around him..If you really think about it in a logical manner, Hyde was not the bad guy, The Good Dr. Jekyll was. He knew if he drank that shit, Hyde was Hyding and waiting to get on his bad,,,, sooooo what did he Jekyll do he drank more..then everybody blamed Hyde..Little known fact.Jekyll liked being the bad tough guy so much that he started to stay in Hydes clothes more than his own..Well the one day when Hyde really went the fuck off and snapped somebody's neck, the cops got there, chased him and shot old Hyde in the ass...When Hyde bit it, the cops started to see a change, he was changing back to Dr. Good Guy Jekyll (not really a good guy)..The cops were astonished,,,,,DRUM ROLL EASY!!!!................ but here is the true version right from the top Bobbiess mouth that shot old Hyde..Once Hyde turned back into Jekyll...Jekyll died, but he turned back into Hyde (thus multiple personalities), now Hyde wasn't dead...He started to lurch up and the Bobbies's were ready to shoot again, when Ernst Bueler McNebb, (Head Bobbie) stepped up and said "HALT" he bent down and helped Hyde up, brushed him off and, lo and behold, Hyde started to cry, yep, it is on record at Scotland Yard...The Bobbies, not knowing what to do, took him too the police station and he started helping out with clean up duty and jailhouse rocking...After 5 years, they sent Hyde to the prestigious school of Southampton Scientific School For Freaks where he got his PHD and became Dr. Hyde...yes this is all documented..He became a well known Scientist in England,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I wish I could end it there but unfortunately I can't....He then went on too discover a potion that turned him back into Dr. Jekyll..yep, he didn't like Jekyll so every time he turned into Jekyll, he went out and hurt somebody.. Well the cops found out that this Jekyll guy was torturing people up in Yorkshire of Lambert, and when they attacked his home he was gone...POOF!!!Hyde and Jekyll, or Jekyll and Hyde which ever peronality you want to put first, boarded a freighter and skidded the ocean and wound up in Philly...the last anyone heard, Hyde got a job back in the sixties, and was teaching Science at Roman Catholic, he always had some kind of potion in his desk, I think it was called Jameson's or something like that, no one never heard from Jekyll again, until today.I am sure Plain, Strebor McBoardandNail will have something to say about him..and Ladies and Gentlemen please never forget..........You heard it here first on Plain and Simple....
Bring on all your personalities, I have quite a few......Ernie, are you ready, where is Simple?? what happened to Louis The Lizard?? Keebler you ok, you look like an elf?? OK OK enough./.PHEW WHO READS THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
We're Off. Mornin, yep, one last indignity last night, I swallowed a fly..This mother fucker, was flying by, that is why they call them flies, just as I was taking a drink of water, and down he goes..that ain't disgusting I don't know what is..I drank a lot of water, and I ate some peanut butter crackers (Keebler's Of Course) in an effort to get my digestive system flowing..I could just see that bastard when those stomach acids got hold of his fuckin wings..I sat there grinning knowing that he was dying and turning into the shit he ate...I HATE FLIES, AND THEIR COUSIN THE MOSQUITO!!I especially hate swallowing them, yep, not the first time..If they had a fly swallower in the circus it would be me, my booth would be right next to the geek..Movin on to today's theme..Yes, siree Bob, those multiple personality disorders...Now we all know "The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde., but a little Plain and Simple take (the real truth and nothing but the truth)...This Jekyll guy, was supposed to be Mr. Nice Guy, well if he was such a nice fucking guy, why did he keep drinking that potion that turning himself into Hyde I'll tell you why deep down he was a narcissitic, hedonist, and liked that shit, and well, fuck everybody else (we all know people like that).Well, that is what Dr. Jekyll did, he kept firing even when Hyde was raping and beating everyone around him..If you really think about it in a logical manner, Hyde was not the bad guy, The Good Dr. Jekyll was. He knew if he drank that shit, Hyde was Hyding and waiting to get on his bad,,,, sooooo what did he Jekyll do he drank more..then everybody blamed Hyde..Little known fact.Jekyll liked being the bad tough guy so much that he started to stay in Hydes clothes more than his own..Well the one day when Hyde really went the fuck off and snapped somebody's neck, the cops got there, chased him and shot old Hyde in the ass...When Hyde bit it, the cops started to see a change, he was changing back to Dr. Good Guy Jekyll (not really a good guy)..The cops were astonished,,,,,DRUM ROLL EASY!!!!................ but here is the true version right from the top Bobbiess mouth that shot old Hyde..Once Hyde turned back into Jekyll...Jekyll died, but he turned back into Hyde (thus multiple personalities), now Hyde wasn't dead...He started to lurch up and the Bobbies's were ready to shoot again, when Ernst Bueler McNebb, (Head Bobbie) stepped up and said "HALT" he bent down and helped Hyde up, brushed him off and, lo and behold, Hyde started to cry, yep, it is on record at Scotland Yard...The Bobbies, not knowing what to do, took him too the police station and he started helping out with clean up duty and jailhouse rocking...After 5 years, they sent Hyde to the prestigious school of Southampton Scientific School For Freaks where he got his PHD and became Dr. Hyde...yes this is all documented..He became a well known Scientist in England,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I wish I could end it there but unfortunately I can't....He then went on too discover a potion that turned him back into Dr. Jekyll..yep, he didn't like Jekyll so every time he turned into Jekyll, he went out and hurt somebody.. Well the cops found out that this Jekyll guy was torturing people up in Yorkshire of Lambert, and when they attacked his home he was gone...POOF!!!Hyde and Jekyll, or Jekyll and Hyde which ever peronality you want to put first, boarded a freighter and skidded the ocean and wound up in Philly...the last anyone heard, Hyde got a job back in the sixties, and was teaching Science at Roman Catholic, he always had some kind of potion in his desk, I think it was called Jameson's or something like that, no one never heard from Jekyll again, until today.I am sure Plain, Strebor McBoardandNail will have something to say about him..and Ladies and Gentlemen please never forget..........You heard it here first on Plain and Simple....
Bring on all your personalities, I have quite a few......Ernie, are you ready, where is Simple?? what happened to Louis The Lizard?? Keebler you ok, you look like an elf?? OK OK enough./.PHEW WHO READS THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
"Today Is The 28th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off.. Trying to do a post everyday requires either a lot of time or a lot of life experiences, and a lot of thought, (yeah right on that last one) Good Lord only knows what would happen if I really had time to think..Me and Plain would either be in Hollywood or San Quentin...Yesterday is dead and gone, man they are a movin, face it kids August is shot, hey, hey, hey, I don't want to hear those little rebellious voices.. Little Simple is the Simpleton he is today, because he hated this time of year..Oh man, trade in the PF Flyers, later converse for the copy books and catechisms.. Those were not good days for me..I may have gotten some form of so called formal education, but at what cost...CHILD ABUSE, IF THERE WAS A DYFUS BACK THEN EVERY NUN I HAD WOULD HAVE BEEN A CONVICTED FELON.!!! Oh well, I am not bitter,,sisters shoulda kept their hands off me though.. I am not bitter, just really pissed I didn't have a chance to fight back..I remeber one, I won't mention any names because I remember her well, but she tightened my tie around my neck, and I was passin out, and I was thinking go ahead and just smash her right in her tight bonnet...,ramifications were too dire..Now, kinda wish I had done it..OK OK enough of your sorry ass life in catholic schools, it is over and done.., and you and cohorts like you are the end result..One thing I will say, I did not, send my children to catholic schools, and am happy about that..
Onward Christian Soldiers, ok one more thing, how much time did we put in chuch?? PHEW!! imagine if half that time was spent playin..
I ain't sayin nothin about the Phils, well except, glad they put a whoopin on Washington, of course nobody could put a whoopin on Washington like Obuma...Obuma my man, you tried and you failed, get on the go away bus with DRUM ROLL EASY....................................................
.........................................................................................................................................
OBUMA,
OPRAH Hmm, vaguely familiar names.
CRUISE please take MADONNA with you, I hate callin that bitch madonna
HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN
ROGER CLEMENS
ANDY AND MIKE
TOM AND WHEELS
SNOOKIE HER KID AND HER IMPREGNATOR
THE WHOLE CAST OF JERSEY JERK OFFS
THE PARROT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL THE ITIS'S EXCEPT LARYNGITIS THEN I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TALK (Probably make half the population on the internet happy.)
Hey E!!! Yo Phil!!! Road Time!!! I don't know what time it is Phil.... I didn't say that E, I said Road Time....OH, road time, we're ready to roll......No, I don't like that expression, look at the Slavs, they are rolling around in the mud...The truck rolls not us...OK, OK, lets hit the road...NO!! I don't like that expression, look at the Slavs they are punching the muddy road....YEOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!
We're Off.. Trying to do a post everyday requires either a lot of time or a lot of life experiences, and a lot of thought, (yeah right on that last one) Good Lord only knows what would happen if I really had time to think..Me and Plain would either be in Hollywood or San Quentin...Yesterday is dead and gone, man they are a movin, face it kids August is shot, hey, hey, hey, I don't want to hear those little rebellious voices.. Little Simple is the Simpleton he is today, because he hated this time of year..Oh man, trade in the PF Flyers, later converse for the copy books and catechisms.. Those were not good days for me..I may have gotten some form of so called formal education, but at what cost...CHILD ABUSE, IF THERE WAS A DYFUS BACK THEN EVERY NUN I HAD WOULD HAVE BEEN A CONVICTED FELON.!!! Oh well, I am not bitter,,sisters shoulda kept their hands off me though.. I am not bitter, just really pissed I didn't have a chance to fight back..I remeber one, I won't mention any names because I remember her well, but she tightened my tie around my neck, and I was passin out, and I was thinking go ahead and just smash her right in her tight bonnet...,ramifications were too dire..Now, kinda wish I had done it..OK OK enough of your sorry ass life in catholic schools, it is over and done.., and you and cohorts like you are the end result..One thing I will say, I did not, send my children to catholic schools, and am happy about that..
Onward Christian Soldiers, ok one more thing, how much time did we put in chuch?? PHEW!! imagine if half that time was spent playin..
I ain't sayin nothin about the Phils, well except, glad they put a whoopin on Washington, of course nobody could put a whoopin on Washington like Obuma...Obuma my man, you tried and you failed, get on the go away bus with DRUM ROLL EASY....................................................
.........................................................................................................................................
OBUMA,
OPRAH Hmm, vaguely familiar names.
CRUISE please take MADONNA with you, I hate callin that bitch madonna
HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN
ROGER CLEMENS
ANDY AND MIKE
TOM AND WHEELS
SNOOKIE HER KID AND HER IMPREGNATOR
THE WHOLE CAST OF JERSEY JERK OFFS
THE PARROT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL THE ITIS'S EXCEPT LARYNGITIS THEN I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TALK (Probably make half the population on the internet happy.)
Hey E!!! Yo Phil!!! Road Time!!! I don't know what time it is Phil.... I didn't say that E, I said Road Time....OH, road time, we're ready to roll......No, I don't like that expression, look at the Slavs, they are rolling around in the mud...The truck rolls not us...OK, OK, lets hit the road...NO!! I don't like that expression, look at the Slavs they are punching the muddy road....YEOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!
Monday, August 27, 2012
"Today Is The 27th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off. YAY!!! Floyd made it.." HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER TOM!!!! Sixty-Six and going stronger now than ever..I hope he sees another 66 as long as he can enjoy himself and make others enjoy themselves the way he does now...I would like to be with him today, but I am sure we will have a celebration later in the week...As for today, enjoy the day like you do every other one Tom..People will be stopping in all week to wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY, as well they should...Ain't never met a better man, and that is saying something, because I have met some of the best...There are a few I have met equal to him, but nobody better...Between the two of us we are now 66 and 66...total 6666 still one step ahead of the devil..let's piss off a lot of people and keep cheatin that old devil Floyd...Have a great BIRTHDAY my brother and I will hoiste a few with you later in the week...Love You My Man...Your The Best...
We're Off. YAY!!! Floyd made it.." HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER TOM!!!! Sixty-Six and going stronger now than ever..I hope he sees another 66 as long as he can enjoy himself and make others enjoy themselves the way he does now...I would like to be with him today, but I am sure we will have a celebration later in the week...As for today, enjoy the day like you do every other one Tom..People will be stopping in all week to wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY, as well they should...Ain't never met a better man, and that is saying something, because I have met some of the best...There are a few I have met equal to him, but nobody better...Between the two of us we are now 66 and 66...total 6666 still one step ahead of the devil..let's piss off a lot of people and keep cheatin that old devil Floyd...Have a great BIRTHDAY my brother and I will hoiste a few with you later in the week...Love You My Man...Your The Best...
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Today is the 25 Day of August, yep it is, In the Year Of Our Lord 2012, nods
Well here we are and no Simple he must be having Bad Dreams again! But let me clear things up for you Simples Post wasn't being Vulgar yesterday talking about Wet Dreams nods. You see he used to Piss the Bed thats what he thinks a Wet Dream is! And when he didn't his Dog Chipper did so he had alot of wet Dreams, or so he thought ,shrugs.
But dreams are the greatest thing there is. You have to live your Dreams out.You see some People dream and say "why" ? others "Dream" and say "why not " ? So you never give up on your dreams.The Person with Big Dreams is more Powerful than the ones with all the Facts.So People Dream your Dreams but do it with open Eyes, and make them come True !
But dreams are the greatest thing there is. You have to live your Dreams out.You see some People dream and say "why" ? others "Dream" and say "why not " ? So you never give up on your dreams.The Person with Big Dreams is more Powerful than the ones with all the Facts.So People Dream your Dreams but do it with open Eyes, and make them come True !
Friday, August 24, 2012
"Today Is The 24th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off.
As we head into VodkaDay it may be a little later than usual..as myself and Phil are heading for Pennsylvania. He said if we are heading for Pennsylvania, then we must be leaving New Jersey..I said yeah, unless we were in Louisiana.. He says, why would we be in Louisiana?? I said how about if we lived there?? Then we wouldn't be leavin from New Jersey E.........!!!!!PULEEEZE not today....Hey how are your Itis's?? man there is a lot of them..I had a dream last night, I cannot even discuss it in the Ville, let's just say I wound up layin against the wall in the bunker and thought it was a girl...use your imaginations on that one, really funny..Dreams, is there anything more fucked up in life than dreams..There are all kinds of Dreams, Wet Dreams, whatever that means...Good Dreams, I think that is the same as a Wet Dream. Bad Dreams, I know about these mother fuckers, you wake up in a sweat thinking about a place you really don't want ot think about...Nightmares!!! These are BAD ASS DREAMS....I had a Nightmare once, I was on Elm Street in Philly and this ugly mother fucker with bad looking finger nails was trying to castrate me during a Wet Dream, shit wasn't funny man.. I thought I was going to lose the jewels....Talking about Jewels, did you see where Prince Harry, got all fucked up in Vegas and was rompin around with a bunch of naked chicks, grabbing the Royal Jewels...Now there is a royal, I might like...LOL!! Have a great Friday and if you are imbibing, don't be a driving...Love Ya All.....
We're Off.
As we head into VodkaDay it may be a little later than usual..as myself and Phil are heading for Pennsylvania. He said if we are heading for Pennsylvania, then we must be leaving New Jersey..I said yeah, unless we were in Louisiana.. He says, why would we be in Louisiana?? I said how about if we lived there?? Then we wouldn't be leavin from New Jersey E.........!!!!!PULEEEZE not today....Hey how are your Itis's?? man there is a lot of them..I had a dream last night, I cannot even discuss it in the Ville, let's just say I wound up layin against the wall in the bunker and thought it was a girl...use your imaginations on that one, really funny..Dreams, is there anything more fucked up in life than dreams..There are all kinds of Dreams, Wet Dreams, whatever that means...Good Dreams, I think that is the same as a Wet Dream. Bad Dreams, I know about these mother fuckers, you wake up in a sweat thinking about a place you really don't want ot think about...Nightmares!!! These are BAD ASS DREAMS....I had a Nightmare once, I was on Elm Street in Philly and this ugly mother fucker with bad looking finger nails was trying to castrate me during a Wet Dream, shit wasn't funny man.. I thought I was going to lose the jewels....Talking about Jewels, did you see where Prince Harry, got all fucked up in Vegas and was rompin around with a bunch of naked chicks, grabbing the Royal Jewels...Now there is a royal, I might like...LOL!! Have a great Friday and if you are imbibing, don't be a driving...Love Ya All.....
Thursday, August 23, 2012
"Today Is The 23rd Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off.
Just got off the phone with a friend of mine who has bronchitis, got me thinkin, that sometimes is a bad thing. Do any of us realize how many itis's there are out here to get us..Oh, and sooner or later they will get us...I could do A-Z on Itis's, but I will just mess with it a little bit and anyone coming to visit or comment can add too it..Arthritis, is one of the worst itis's, this son-of-bitch can cripple a human, this sucker sneaks on up when you get older, some people that have it are really in pain with this shit..Now I don't mean too make lite of any of the itis's, but hey we gotta try and laugh at most things..This Bronchitis, is another of these sons of bitches that fucks you up, it gets alll up in your lungs and chest area and when you go to bed you kinda feel a little achy and tired, but wait till you try and get up, it feels like the Titanic is sittin on your chest. Most of us have had a bout or two with this itis...Conjunctivitis, or the old pink eye...Pink Eye, is a contagious itis, and can even be caught from one of your eyes to the other..if you are not careful you can be walkin around with one pink eye the rest of your life...Well let me see, I took the drops and it is gone from my left eye, but I scratched my right eye, damn got it in my right eye..Let's see took the drops it is gone from my right eye, but shit I scratched my left eye, gotta get more drops and a patch this time....Dickilitis, this only happens too guys, because they have dicks...,this is a phenomenon not known too all guys, just ones that have a gut so large that when they try to check out their dick they can't see it, a lot of them blame it on Pink Eye or the patch, but in reality it is the guts fault..another name for Dickilitis, is Gutitis...
Ernitis, yep, named after the first Ernie...This is an itis that anyone that ever has come in contact with an Ernie has..It can cause shivers and shakes of the head around an Ernie at anytime..Something about the name can make you start to tremble and ask is there an Ernie around? It causes some people to actually hide, or leave a place immediately...this itis can be taken care of by not hanging around any Ernie's...I have it all the time, I am constantly walking around shaking my head and shivering, I am always wondering why I walk into a crowded place and within minutes it is empth..I know I have it.... OK IT'S ITIS DAY, OR ANYTHING DAY, we are in the stretch for the month of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012..ENJOY YOUR DAY!!!
We're Off.
Just got off the phone with a friend of mine who has bronchitis, got me thinkin, that sometimes is a bad thing. Do any of us realize how many itis's there are out here to get us..Oh, and sooner or later they will get us...I could do A-Z on Itis's, but I will just mess with it a little bit and anyone coming to visit or comment can add too it..Arthritis, is one of the worst itis's, this son-of-bitch can cripple a human, this sucker sneaks on up when you get older, some people that have it are really in pain with this shit..Now I don't mean too make lite of any of the itis's, but hey we gotta try and laugh at most things..This Bronchitis, is another of these sons of bitches that fucks you up, it gets alll up in your lungs and chest area and when you go to bed you kinda feel a little achy and tired, but wait till you try and get up, it feels like the Titanic is sittin on your chest. Most of us have had a bout or two with this itis...Conjunctivitis, or the old pink eye...Pink Eye, is a contagious itis, and can even be caught from one of your eyes to the other..if you are not careful you can be walkin around with one pink eye the rest of your life...Well let me see, I took the drops and it is gone from my left eye, but I scratched my right eye, damn got it in my right eye..Let's see took the drops it is gone from my right eye, but shit I scratched my left eye, gotta get more drops and a patch this time....Dickilitis, this only happens too guys, because they have dicks...,this is a phenomenon not known too all guys, just ones that have a gut so large that when they try to check out their dick they can't see it, a lot of them blame it on Pink Eye or the patch, but in reality it is the guts fault..another name for Dickilitis, is Gutitis...
Ernitis, yep, named after the first Ernie...This is an itis that anyone that ever has come in contact with an Ernie has..It can cause shivers and shakes of the head around an Ernie at anytime..Something about the name can make you start to tremble and ask is there an Ernie around? It causes some people to actually hide, or leave a place immediately...this itis can be taken care of by not hanging around any Ernie's...I have it all the time, I am constantly walking around shaking my head and shivering, I am always wondering why I walk into a crowded place and within minutes it is empth..I know I have it.... OK IT'S ITIS DAY, OR ANYTHING DAY, we are in the stretch for the month of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012..ENJOY YOUR DAY!!!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
"Today Is The 22nd Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lords. 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off.
You look at your calender, you look at your computer, you look at your schedule, and say no way, It can't be , August 22nd, 2012, but it is..March back across the fields of time with me, to those days of yesteryear, when I was a young Simpleton, growing up in Manayunk..go back as far as grade school, when I hadn't even heard of BurgerVille..My friends were, Tommy Flaherty, Pat Renshaw, Dave Morris, Plain Morris, Monk Moran, Lionel Guerra, Fred Turtle, Pepe Torres, wanna throw Butch and Babe in the mix, but they didn't arrive on the scene until about 1958-1959..Most of these boys grew into manhood with me..Well they grew into manhood, I don't know what the fuck I grew into..We had a lot of fun in the summer, most of it revolved around sports, we had all kinds of games...Wire Ball, Wall Ball, Kick Ball, Dodge Ball, Kick the Wickie, and many more..It was a great time, and a great place to grow up..but about this time every year little Simple started too withdraw, yep started hearing things like, school will be starting soon, and summer will be ending..No more nights down the corner..No more baseball everyday, no more gang hidey back the club..no more of anything that I loved..It was almost time too go back to St. John's Parochial Prison For Kids..Get my ass kicked at least three times a week, by the nuns, then have to answer to my parents, well not so much my Dad, but my Mom, have a punishment every weekend, drift off during class into a great wire ball game...count the freight trains, listen to that bell chime, and know it was only 10 bells, we were in there till about 4...Man what a nightmare..I honestly don't know how I learned anything, but I always got good marks and always flunked self control and conduct...Hmmmmm, maybe somethings never change..When Simple says withdrawal, I mean withdrawal. I would lay in bed at night and could not believe the summer was ending, I would get the sweats, and throw Chipper the fuck off of my head,.., but sure enough that most dreaded of dread holidays (if you can call it that) Labor day was storming on us...As I grew older I tried to realize that it is much better living in the present moment.. Yeah, it is easy to say hard to do... but in reality, the past is gone, it is fine too visit, but you can't stay there, and the future ain't here yet, but it is fine to speculate but that may cause you angst or unwarranted happiness..So, the best bet is live for today..In essence it is all we have..Worry and Guilt, two wasted emotions if you think about it..If you are really worried about something to where it is immobilizing you, do something about it, or at least try..and if you feel guilty about something you did, forgive yourself, I am sure in most cases it was not that bad, and try not to do it again...So, todays lesson from the OLD PHILOSOPHER....Can't stop the angst from summer coming to an end, it is inherent in my psyche..Can try the present moment living it works most of the time, especially with Vodka..Worries, who doesn't have them, just try and not let them rule or ruin you...Guilt, we all got some, just don't live with it...There, how do you like that, some profound musings from The Simpleton..., because if I didn't have any profound musings evidently no one else around her would....WHERE THE FUCK IS PLAIN???? WHACKER....WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL!! Laughing right now...WHERE THE FUCK IS MCLOST...Probably lost somewhere across the spans of time...lighten up a little, stop worrying for the day, lose the guilt and HUMPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
We're Off.
You look at your calender, you look at your computer, you look at your schedule, and say no way, It can't be , August 22nd, 2012, but it is..March back across the fields of time with me, to those days of yesteryear, when I was a young Simpleton, growing up in Manayunk..go back as far as grade school, when I hadn't even heard of BurgerVille..My friends were, Tommy Flaherty, Pat Renshaw, Dave Morris, Plain Morris, Monk Moran, Lionel Guerra, Fred Turtle, Pepe Torres, wanna throw Butch and Babe in the mix, but they didn't arrive on the scene until about 1958-1959..Most of these boys grew into manhood with me..Well they grew into manhood, I don't know what the fuck I grew into..We had a lot of fun in the summer, most of it revolved around sports, we had all kinds of games...Wire Ball, Wall Ball, Kick Ball, Dodge Ball, Kick the Wickie, and many more..It was a great time, and a great place to grow up..but about this time every year little Simple started too withdraw, yep started hearing things like, school will be starting soon, and summer will be ending..No more nights down the corner..No more baseball everyday, no more gang hidey back the club..no more of anything that I loved..It was almost time too go back to St. John's Parochial Prison For Kids..Get my ass kicked at least three times a week, by the nuns, then have to answer to my parents, well not so much my Dad, but my Mom, have a punishment every weekend, drift off during class into a great wire ball game...count the freight trains, listen to that bell chime, and know it was only 10 bells, we were in there till about 4...Man what a nightmare..I honestly don't know how I learned anything, but I always got good marks and always flunked self control and conduct...Hmmmmm, maybe somethings never change..When Simple says withdrawal, I mean withdrawal. I would lay in bed at night and could not believe the summer was ending, I would get the sweats, and throw Chipper the fuck off of my head,.., but sure enough that most dreaded of dread holidays (if you can call it that) Labor day was storming on us...As I grew older I tried to realize that it is much better living in the present moment.. Yeah, it is easy to say hard to do... but in reality, the past is gone, it is fine too visit, but you can't stay there, and the future ain't here yet, but it is fine to speculate but that may cause you angst or unwarranted happiness..So, the best bet is live for today..In essence it is all we have..Worry and Guilt, two wasted emotions if you think about it..If you are really worried about something to where it is immobilizing you, do something about it, or at least try..and if you feel guilty about something you did, forgive yourself, I am sure in most cases it was not that bad, and try not to do it again...So, todays lesson from the OLD PHILOSOPHER....Can't stop the angst from summer coming to an end, it is inherent in my psyche..Can try the present moment living it works most of the time, especially with Vodka..Worries, who doesn't have them, just try and not let them rule or ruin you...Guilt, we all got some, just don't live with it...There, how do you like that, some profound musings from The Simpleton..., because if I didn't have any profound musings evidently no one else around her would....WHERE THE FUCK IS PLAIN???? WHACKER....WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL!! Laughing right now...WHERE THE FUCK IS MCLOST...Probably lost somewhere across the spans of time...lighten up a little, stop worrying for the day, lose the guilt and HUMPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
"Today Is The 21st Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off...Lookin around the Ville, thinkin it is Monday, but it is Tuesday, and what happened to Sunday and Monday, but who cares, I don't like those days anyway...See, this is where my problem comes to light...WHERE THE FUCK IS PLAIN???? WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL?? WHERE THE FUCK IS MCWHATEVERTHEFUCKHISNAMEIS?????? Nowhere, that's where, nowhere to be found...They know this Simpleton is liable to be missing, especially on one of his forays to the Yunk..., so will they help out here at the Ville...No fuckin way, go goofin, go do whatever it is that retired old people do and leave me.. stranded in those fuckin hills....Rough weekend,, it is very rare that Simple does not answer the bell for work.., yesterday was one of those days, I honestly wished I was a toad, then I could have really fucked over them, because I would have missed tee off...should be called jerk off time..OK, guys everybody line up their balls and get out their clubs..we are going to whack our balls as hard as we can, until they fall in a hole..Game is downright pornographic...They carry their balls and their putters in a bag..They have to put their balls in a hole..what the fuck man, doesn't anyone else get the connotations of this pornographic bullshit they call golf..Golf..GONADS ON LARGE FELLOWS...Yep. Little known fact, that is how golf started in The Year Of Our Lord 1102...It was in a Village in Scotland, called St. Andrews..The McFarland's Clan, from Ireland, came over to the Scottish Town and challenged the Scots to a new game..It was called GOLF...The rules read like this.....
1. Four of the biggest fellows in the village, had to line up on a flat piece of ground, bend over, pick up their kilts and get hit on their balls by the McFarlands swinging their various shillelaghs...
2. After the Scots were hit in their nuts, and flew down the meadow as far as the shot and screaming would take them, the Irishmen would walk up to that point and whack their sack again...
3. These shots and shouts could be heard across Scotland...Once the Scots landed on the Green, as they called it, it was a really neat piece of sod that had a hole in it the size of a fox hole..the Irishman then hit their nuts lightly, until they fell in the hole...
Well, you could imagine the effect this game had on these big Scots..Now it was their turn to swing..,but the McFarlands told them that, they won and they didn't have to hit them in the nuts..They thanked them for their hospitality and picked up their shillelaghs and their beers and headed off to catch the next boat back to Ireland...The Scots who were now laying in the fox hole screamin..YU IRRISHH FOOKS WE ALL WANNA HIT YOU IN YERR BALLLS!!! The McFarlands skipped away singing..If you ever go back again to Ireland, just to whack your balls away or sit beside your young lassie, just to watch the sun go down in Gal way Bay.. Sooo, as we all know goof was founded in Scotland, but what you didn't know was the Irish invented it, and why the Scots still wear kilts, their swollen balls were handed down from generation to generation..., and trousers do make them SCREAM!!!! You heard it hear first on Plain and Simple...
We're Off...Lookin around the Ville, thinkin it is Monday, but it is Tuesday, and what happened to Sunday and Monday, but who cares, I don't like those days anyway...See, this is where my problem comes to light...WHERE THE FUCK IS PLAIN???? WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL?? WHERE THE FUCK IS MCWHATEVERTHEFUCKHISNAMEIS?????? Nowhere, that's where, nowhere to be found...They know this Simpleton is liable to be missing, especially on one of his forays to the Yunk..., so will they help out here at the Ville...No fuckin way, go goofin, go do whatever it is that retired old people do and leave me.. stranded in those fuckin hills....Rough weekend,, it is very rare that Simple does not answer the bell for work.., yesterday was one of those days, I honestly wished I was a toad, then I could have really fucked over them, because I would have missed tee off...should be called jerk off time..OK, guys everybody line up their balls and get out their clubs..we are going to whack our balls as hard as we can, until they fall in a hole..Game is downright pornographic...They carry their balls and their putters in a bag..They have to put their balls in a hole..what the fuck man, doesn't anyone else get the connotations of this pornographic bullshit they call golf..Golf..GONADS ON LARGE FELLOWS...Yep. Little known fact, that is how golf started in The Year Of Our Lord 1102...It was in a Village in Scotland, called St. Andrews..The McFarland's Clan, from Ireland, came over to the Scottish Town and challenged the Scots to a new game..It was called GOLF...The rules read like this.....
1. Four of the biggest fellows in the village, had to line up on a flat piece of ground, bend over, pick up their kilts and get hit on their balls by the McFarlands swinging their various shillelaghs...
2. After the Scots were hit in their nuts, and flew down the meadow as far as the shot and screaming would take them, the Irishmen would walk up to that point and whack their sack again...
3. These shots and shouts could be heard across Scotland...Once the Scots landed on the Green, as they called it, it was a really neat piece of sod that had a hole in it the size of a fox hole..the Irishman then hit their nuts lightly, until they fell in the hole...
Well, you could imagine the effect this game had on these big Scots..Now it was their turn to swing..,but the McFarlands told them that, they won and they didn't have to hit them in the nuts..They thanked them for their hospitality and picked up their shillelaghs and their beers and headed off to catch the next boat back to Ireland...The Scots who were now laying in the fox hole screamin..YU IRRISHH FOOKS WE ALL WANNA HIT YOU IN YERR BALLLS!!! The McFarlands skipped away singing..If you ever go back again to Ireland, just to whack your balls away or sit beside your young lassie, just to watch the sun go down in Gal way Bay.. Sooo, as we all know goof was founded in Scotland, but what you didn't know was the Irish invented it, and why the Scots still wear kilts, their swollen balls were handed down from generation to generation..., and trousers do make them SCREAM!!!! You heard it hear first on Plain and Simple...
Saturday, August 18, 2012
"Today Is The 18th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off..I am off, gotta get outta the Ville, the critters are moving into the bunker, tha ain't happening..I found out a long time ago, you let a bully on your porch, the next day he is in your kitchen..that old dirt road seperates us from each other and that is a good thing..gotta go..
We're Off..I am off, gotta get outta the Ville, the critters are moving into the bunker, tha ain't happening..I found out a long time ago, you let a bully on your porch, the next day he is in your kitchen..that old dirt road seperates us from each other and that is a good thing..gotta go..
Friday, August 17, 2012
"TODAY IS THE TOMORROW YOU WORRIED ABOUT YESTERDAY."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off..VODKADAY ALERT!! VODKADAY ALERT!! Slow down Simple, Today is the Vodkaday, that you thought about yesterday, that is postponed until tomorrow..That is right, Anniversary Party at ECK"S tomorrow..Only in Manayunk do they have an Anniversary Party every year for the opening of a bar..Gotta love the Yunk..Sooooo, Simple will be a good boy today, and wait to spread his warmth until tomorrow..I even talked the General into getting on deck..LOL!! Maybe McNodrink will show up, he can hang with the Quakers...Monk, Plain, and anybody else that doesn't imbibe. YO!! the Phillies have officially spit the bit..!! Yep, the Simpleton is giving it up..What the fuck happened to this team...I know, I know, injuries, but still 18 games out nearing the third week of August...don't register...Here comes BoreBall, yep that is my new nickname for football...FANS THERE IT IS THE KICKOFF FOR THE 2012 SEASON...WOW!! IT IS A BOOMER AND FREDRICKS TAKES A KNEE...EVERYBODY WALKS OFF THE FIELD, INTERUPPTION FOR ABOUT FOUR CAR COMMERCIALS..5 MINUTES LATER BACK TO THE FIELD...WE HAVE AN INJURED PLAYER DOWN, I CAN'T SEE HIS NUMBER, BUT THE PLAYERS ARE ALL HUDDLED IN PRAYER.....................................................................................................................
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BOOMER, I THOUGHT I SAW A LEG MOVE!! THAT WAS THAT BLONDE DOWN ON THE FIFTY YARD LINE...NO TIME FOR JOKES BOOMER..I WAS SERIOUS, DID YOU SEE THE LEGS ON THAT CHICK WHEN SHE MOVED THEM.........................................................
BOOMER IT LOOKS LIKE HE IS GETTING UP, YES HE IS WOBBLY BUT HE IS WAVING AS THEY PUT HIM ON THE STRETCHER........................THE FANS ARE GIVING HIM A STANDING O!!!!!! COMMERCIAL BREAK FOR CEREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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............................................................................................................................................................
ALRIGHT, WE ARE SET TOO GO, WE HAVE JACKSON FLANKED LEFT, MACLIN FLANKED RIGHT, DOG BOY IS UNDER CENTER....OOPSS THERE IS A FLAG., LOOKED LIKE ILLEGAL MOTION,,NO THE BENGALS WERE OFF SIDES...I DON'T KNOW CAN WE HAVE A LOOK AT THE REPLAY...........................................................................................LOOKED LIKE THE LEFT TACKLE'S RIGHT BALL TWITCHED AND HIT HIM IN HIS ASS, AND HE TWITCHED LIKE A MARE IN HEAT.............................................................................................SO, THEY MOVE THE BALL BACK FIVE YARDS AND WILL START FROM THE 15.................................
DOG BOY UNDER CENTER.....HERE IS THE SNAP.........HANDS OFF TO MCCOY, AND HE IS STUFFED AT THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE FOR NO GAIN..............................................
LOOK AT THE SIDELINE, ANDY FATMAN IS FURIOUS ABOUT SOMETHING, LOOKS LIKE MORNINGWEIG IS EATING HIS TWINKIE, WELL AS LONG AS I HAVE KNOWN ANDY, NO COACH HAS EVER GOTTEN AWAY WITH THIS.............COMMERCIAL BREAK.............................;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;(This fucking shit that used to be football has now been on for an hour, and this is all the action you get..) The television industry and the media in general (WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL), have absolutly destroyed a once, proud and fast moving game, into a boring observation of inane bullshit that takes about five hours of your time....FOOTBALL SUCKS!!!! Later......
We're Off..VODKADAY ALERT!! VODKADAY ALERT!! Slow down Simple, Today is the Vodkaday, that you thought about yesterday, that is postponed until tomorrow..That is right, Anniversary Party at ECK"S tomorrow..Only in Manayunk do they have an Anniversary Party every year for the opening of a bar..Gotta love the Yunk..Sooooo, Simple will be a good boy today, and wait to spread his warmth until tomorrow..I even talked the General into getting on deck..LOL!! Maybe McNodrink will show up, he can hang with the Quakers...Monk, Plain, and anybody else that doesn't imbibe. YO!! the Phillies have officially spit the bit..!! Yep, the Simpleton is giving it up..What the fuck happened to this team...I know, I know, injuries, but still 18 games out nearing the third week of August...don't register...Here comes BoreBall, yep that is my new nickname for football...FANS THERE IT IS THE KICKOFF FOR THE 2012 SEASON...WOW!! IT IS A BOOMER AND FREDRICKS TAKES A KNEE...EVERYBODY WALKS OFF THE FIELD, INTERUPPTION FOR ABOUT FOUR CAR COMMERCIALS..5 MINUTES LATER BACK TO THE FIELD...WE HAVE AN INJURED PLAYER DOWN, I CAN'T SEE HIS NUMBER, BUT THE PLAYERS ARE ALL HUDDLED IN PRAYER.....................................................................................................................
..............................................................................................................................................................................
BOOMER, I THOUGHT I SAW A LEG MOVE!! THAT WAS THAT BLONDE DOWN ON THE FIFTY YARD LINE...NO TIME FOR JOKES BOOMER..I WAS SERIOUS, DID YOU SEE THE LEGS ON THAT CHICK WHEN SHE MOVED THEM.........................................................
BOOMER IT LOOKS LIKE HE IS GETTING UP, YES HE IS WOBBLY BUT HE IS WAVING AS THEY PUT HIM ON THE STRETCHER........................THE FANS ARE GIVING HIM A STANDING O!!!!!! COMMERCIAL BREAK FOR CEREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.............................................................................................................................................................
............................................................................................................................................................
ALRIGHT, WE ARE SET TOO GO, WE HAVE JACKSON FLANKED LEFT, MACLIN FLANKED RIGHT, DOG BOY IS UNDER CENTER....OOPSS THERE IS A FLAG., LOOKED LIKE ILLEGAL MOTION,,NO THE BENGALS WERE OFF SIDES...I DON'T KNOW CAN WE HAVE A LOOK AT THE REPLAY...........................................................................................LOOKED LIKE THE LEFT TACKLE'S RIGHT BALL TWITCHED AND HIT HIM IN HIS ASS, AND HE TWITCHED LIKE A MARE IN HEAT.............................................................................................SO, THEY MOVE THE BALL BACK FIVE YARDS AND WILL START FROM THE 15.................................
DOG BOY UNDER CENTER.....HERE IS THE SNAP.........HANDS OFF TO MCCOY, AND HE IS STUFFED AT THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE FOR NO GAIN..............................................
LOOK AT THE SIDELINE, ANDY FATMAN IS FURIOUS ABOUT SOMETHING, LOOKS LIKE MORNINGWEIG IS EATING HIS TWINKIE, WELL AS LONG AS I HAVE KNOWN ANDY, NO COACH HAS EVER GOTTEN AWAY WITH THIS.............COMMERCIAL BREAK.............................;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;(This fucking shit that used to be football has now been on for an hour, and this is all the action you get..) The television industry and the media in general (WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL), have absolutly destroyed a once, proud and fast moving game, into a boring observation of inane bullshit that takes about five hours of your time....FOOTBALL SUCKS!!!! Later......
Thursday, August 16, 2012
"Today Is The 16th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off...Well April finally ended, I can't believe that McTime and Plain, had nothing to say about me fuckin up the month two days in a row..Never again shall I ever fuck up (yeah right)..
OK, today is the day....LET LITE, LET ,LITE , LET........LEALL, RIGHT LEALL, RIGHT, LEAL..What the fuck!!!....GET OFF THE FUCKINK BUS!!!!,, GET OFF THE FUCKIN BUS!!!!!!...GET DOWN, GET DOWN!!!!!!!....GIVE ME TEN YOU FUCKIN MAGGOT, TEN PUSH UPS SWEETY, TEN MORE!!!!!, GET YOUR FUCKIN ASSES OF THAT BUS...!!!Where the fuck am I??? What is this a bad dream?? GET OFF THE FUCKIN BUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..ASSHOLES TO BELLY BUTTONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!, FALL THE FUCK IN YOU FUCKIN MAGGOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....Whooaaa!!! PARRIS ISLAND, FIRST DAY IN "THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORP." I was one slick Simpleton, when I was 18.. I figured out along with my sign up mates...Bobby Hanson, Dave Kilkenny (R.I.P.), Willie Rafter, and Hank Kowalchic (Floyd, Plain, Monk, and Pat came into my Corps a little later, they had to call me, Lance Corporal Keebler, uhmm then they all out ranked me except MY MAIN MAN PLAIN LOL!!!) we decided to go to Parris Island in August, so we would fisnish boot camp, for Christmas leave...Good idea, as the sun is scorching fucking hot, and the sand fleas are hatching..I can still smell that fuckin place..Real quick, get into our Marine utilities, the green working uniform, it is brand new, hat over my ears, boots not tied right, and I got some Marine Drill Instructer, who looks like he was chiseled instead of born, holding me off the ground by one hand and saying.."WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY MARINE CORPS YOU SKINNY FUCKIN MAGGOT!!!!uhmmmm...Me being the Simpleton that I am, say, uhmmmmm the General ( I ASKED MYSELF WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL NOW!!!! BACK AT BURGERVILLE HITTIN ON ALL MY GIRLS!!!LOL!!!), made me join, but if you don't want me here I'll get out of your Marine Corps right now..Can you imagine, I thought he was serious, and I could go home..he threw me against the fuckin wall and yelled GIVE ME FIFTY...!!!! Sir they took all my money at Yamassee.,,This Marine must have thought what the fuck do I have here..he ain't never gettin out of Parris Island..I thought about him years later, and I know him and his buds had a big laugh on me that night at the old watering hole...Sgt. Harris, God Bless You, you were one of the greatest men I ever met...R.I.P. he died in Viet Nam....Forty Eight years ago today.....LET LITE,LET LITE,LET,LITE , LEFT RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT....Come on in the Ville and do some marchin today...HOOORAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
We're Off...Well April finally ended, I can't believe that McTime and Plain, had nothing to say about me fuckin up the month two days in a row..Never again shall I ever fuck up (yeah right)..
OK, today is the day....LET LITE, LET ,LITE , LET........LEALL, RIGHT LEALL, RIGHT, LEAL..What the fuck!!!....GET OFF THE FUCKINK BUS!!!!,, GET OFF THE FUCKIN BUS!!!!!!...GET DOWN, GET DOWN!!!!!!!....GIVE ME TEN YOU FUCKIN MAGGOT, TEN PUSH UPS SWEETY, TEN MORE!!!!!, GET YOUR FUCKIN ASSES OF THAT BUS...!!!Where the fuck am I??? What is this a bad dream?? GET OFF THE FUCKIN BUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..ASSHOLES TO BELLY BUTTONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!, FALL THE FUCK IN YOU FUCKIN MAGGOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....Whooaaa!!! PARRIS ISLAND, FIRST DAY IN "THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORP." I was one slick Simpleton, when I was 18.. I figured out along with my sign up mates...Bobby Hanson, Dave Kilkenny (R.I.P.), Willie Rafter, and Hank Kowalchic (Floyd, Plain, Monk, and Pat came into my Corps a little later, they had to call me, Lance Corporal Keebler, uhmm then they all out ranked me except MY MAIN MAN PLAIN LOL!!!) we decided to go to Parris Island in August, so we would fisnish boot camp, for Christmas leave...Good idea, as the sun is scorching fucking hot, and the sand fleas are hatching..I can still smell that fuckin place..Real quick, get into our Marine utilities, the green working uniform, it is brand new, hat over my ears, boots not tied right, and I got some Marine Drill Instructer, who looks like he was chiseled instead of born, holding me off the ground by one hand and saying.."WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY MARINE CORPS YOU SKINNY FUCKIN MAGGOT!!!!uhmmmm...Me being the Simpleton that I am, say, uhmmmmm the General ( I ASKED MYSELF WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL NOW!!!! BACK AT BURGERVILLE HITTIN ON ALL MY GIRLS!!!LOL!!!), made me join, but if you don't want me here I'll get out of your Marine Corps right now..Can you imagine, I thought he was serious, and I could go home..he threw me against the fuckin wall and yelled GIVE ME FIFTY...!!!! Sir they took all my money at Yamassee.,,This Marine must have thought what the fuck do I have here..he ain't never gettin out of Parris Island..I thought about him years later, and I know him and his buds had a big laugh on me that night at the old watering hole...Sgt. Harris, God Bless You, you were one of the greatest men I ever met...R.I.P. he died in Viet Nam....Forty Eight years ago today.....LET LITE,LET LITE,LET,LITE , LEFT RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT....Come on in the Ville and do some marchin today...HOOORAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
"Todat Is The 15th Day Of April In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off..Hey everybody...R U READY...AH,,,,ONE AND AHHHH TWO AND AHHHHH HUMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! There doesn't it feel better after you hump...I know it does for a Dog..I love those creatures, and I can't blame some of them for being humpers, but it is kinda embarrasing when you are waiting for a date, and her father is sitting there reading the paper while Fido is using the only suit pants you have, as his mating tool...Yep, happened to me, and I know somewhere in her father's black heart he was laughing his fuckin balls off..That is alright, because as they say in the Corps, paybacks are a mother fucker...I stayed over her house one night, and at breakfast the next day, he was eating a bowl of cheerios, when he got up to get a cup of coffee, I slipped a dead fly that I had swatted the night before, into said cheerios...He didn't eat it, but he was aghast and got into a fight with the Mom about where she bought the cheerios...As I was leaving, I knew that I would never see this girl again, evidently in my drunken stupor the night before I told her what I was going to do...I was getting into my car and I heard him scream...HE TOLD YOU WHAT???THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!!....I blew the horn and gave him the finger...She called me that night and told me I was a sick fuck....I said coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment...Oh yeah, and tell your father that rubber he is trying to explain to your mother, is for the Dog...
Yeah, that dating game was tough on the young Simple one, significant other doesn't suit me well..I always thought that if they were going out with me, something had to be wrong with them mentally..thought I was right...., but as the years progressed and I acquired all the wisdom of the ages..UHMMMM...I realize it wasn't them at all.....Come on take a guess, if it wasn't them it was.....................?? YEAH!!! ME!!! You believe that??? Any good date stories today, hell I could talk all day on this subject but some of us have to work....Have a good time whackin your balls today Plain and don't forget to hydrate and water the trees...LATER!!!!!!!!!!1
We're Off..Hey everybody...R U READY...AH,,,,ONE AND AHHHH TWO AND AHHHHH HUMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! There doesn't it feel better after you hump...I know it does for a Dog..I love those creatures, and I can't blame some of them for being humpers, but it is kinda embarrasing when you are waiting for a date, and her father is sitting there reading the paper while Fido is using the only suit pants you have, as his mating tool...Yep, happened to me, and I know somewhere in her father's black heart he was laughing his fuckin balls off..That is alright, because as they say in the Corps, paybacks are a mother fucker...I stayed over her house one night, and at breakfast the next day, he was eating a bowl of cheerios, when he got up to get a cup of coffee, I slipped a dead fly that I had swatted the night before, into said cheerios...He didn't eat it, but he was aghast and got into a fight with the Mom about where she bought the cheerios...As I was leaving, I knew that I would never see this girl again, evidently in my drunken stupor the night before I told her what I was going to do...I was getting into my car and I heard him scream...HE TOLD YOU WHAT???THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!!....I blew the horn and gave him the finger...She called me that night and told me I was a sick fuck....I said coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment...Oh yeah, and tell your father that rubber he is trying to explain to your mother, is for the Dog...
Yeah, that dating game was tough on the young Simple one, significant other doesn't suit me well..I always thought that if they were going out with me, something had to be wrong with them mentally..thought I was right...., but as the years progressed and I acquired all the wisdom of the ages..UHMMMM...I realize it wasn't them at all.....Come on take a guess, if it wasn't them it was.....................?? YEAH!!! ME!!! You believe that??? Any good date stories today, hell I could talk all day on this subject but some of us have to work....Have a good time whackin your balls today Plain and don't forget to hydrate and water the trees...LATER!!!!!!!!!!1
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
"Today Is The 14th Day Of April In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off. Time, Dogs, Dog Days, Baseball, the Ville is certainly a diverse place, kinda place you wanna sit down and have a cool beverage or two. The kinda place where reality can drift away (most of the time) a place for young and old alike to talk, listen and laugh..Terry (Plain) and myself Ernie (Simple), had a lot of encouragement to do this blog..Kinda started with my Dad always laughing at us, and telling us to take the show on the road..Me and Terry ran for years together (still running against the wind) and I must admit, myself and my friends, if we are anything, it is fun..and believe me we are a lot more than just fun...The General "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL" also played a large part in this love fest..He used to read our material on facebook, usually desecrating other peoples walls..and said we should take the show on the road...Thinking more deeply about it, maybe my Dad and The General meant to get the fuck out of town..My Man, Easy Ed or Dweirdo as I call him, actually put it all together for us, and I think he gets a good laugh out of his accomplishment..Plain had no idea what a blog was (no matter what he says), he may have commented on political shit, or other of his innate musings before the Ville, but nothing like this...He was real hard to convince to do this blog...We were at ECKS, one Friday talkin horses and I said, hey Ter, you wanna do a blog with me?? He said, yo I like that 6 horse,,maybe a 6-7 exacta...Yeah, sure Ern whatever you want to do...Well we have to call it something., You know what Ern? What you got a name Ter?? Yeah, the 9 horse looks good too...No, Ter I mean for the blog...Oh that, uhmmm you like the 6 horse? Let me see the paper, yeah he looks good...OK, I throw him out and do a 7-9 exacta...Exacta comes in 7-9...he says thanks Ern....man is incorrigible..Terry, the blog, man, do you want to do a blog?? I said yeah, look at this 3 horse..Ter, what would you want to call it..Uhmmm Slammin Home...Not the horse Ter...the fucking blog...OH!!, how about Dumb and Dumber...OK, let me call Eddie...Hey T, ..What, What??? Look at this 4 horse E, I could play a 3-4 exacta...T, What What?? Dumb and Dumber is already taken, Plain and Simple we have too come up with something else...I don't like that horse! Terry what horse?? That 7 horse Plain and Simple...You shittin me is there a horse in this race named Plain and Simple??? Hahhahha hell no,,, chit call 911 I'm dyin over here..., . that is the name for the blog ,,,,,, and I am PLAIN,, , because you sure as fuck are SIMPLE...PHEW the shit I gotta put up with around here...!!!! Gotta love the Ville...
We're Off. Time, Dogs, Dog Days, Baseball, the Ville is certainly a diverse place, kinda place you wanna sit down and have a cool beverage or two. The kinda place where reality can drift away (most of the time) a place for young and old alike to talk, listen and laugh..Terry (Plain) and myself Ernie (Simple), had a lot of encouragement to do this blog..Kinda started with my Dad always laughing at us, and telling us to take the show on the road..Me and Terry ran for years together (still running against the wind) and I must admit, myself and my friends, if we are anything, it is fun..and believe me we are a lot more than just fun...The General "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL" also played a large part in this love fest..He used to read our material on facebook, usually desecrating other peoples walls..and said we should take the show on the road...Thinking more deeply about it, maybe my Dad and The General meant to get the fuck out of town..My Man, Easy Ed or Dweirdo as I call him, actually put it all together for us, and I think he gets a good laugh out of his accomplishment..Plain had no idea what a blog was (no matter what he says), he may have commented on political shit, or other of his innate musings before the Ville, but nothing like this...He was real hard to convince to do this blog...We were at ECKS, one Friday talkin horses and I said, hey Ter, you wanna do a blog with me?? He said, yo I like that 6 horse,,maybe a 6-7 exacta...Yeah, sure Ern whatever you want to do...Well we have to call it something., You know what Ern? What you got a name Ter?? Yeah, the 9 horse looks good too...No, Ter I mean for the blog...Oh that, uhmmm you like the 6 horse? Let me see the paper, yeah he looks good...OK, I throw him out and do a 7-9 exacta...Exacta comes in 7-9...he says thanks Ern....man is incorrigible..Terry, the blog, man, do you want to do a blog?? I said yeah, look at this 3 horse..Ter, what would you want to call it..Uhmmm Slammin Home...Not the horse Ter...the fucking blog...OH!!, how about Dumb and Dumber...OK, let me call Eddie...Hey T, ..What, What??? Look at this 4 horse E, I could play a 3-4 exacta...T, What What?? Dumb and Dumber is already taken, Plain and Simple we have too come up with something else...I don't like that horse! Terry what horse?? That 7 horse Plain and Simple...You shittin me is there a horse in this race named Plain and Simple??? Hahhahha hell no,,, chit call 911 I'm dyin over here..., . that is the name for the blog ,,,,,, and I am PLAIN,, , because you sure as fuck are SIMPLE...PHEW the shit I gotta put up with around here...!!!! Gotta love the Ville...
Monday, August 13, 2012
"Today Is The 13th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off...Monday, you know what is so bad about Monday, really the only thing is, it makes me hate Sunday..Stems from when I was a kid, I hated Sunday spent all morning in Church..9:15 Mass with my class, then back for the 11:00 high Mass that took well over two hours..From the time I got up until 2 P.M. I was in shock, then naturally Sunday afternoon was spent doing homework..This was not a good scenerio for a fun lovin, and free spirited kid..So, as I grow older, I kinda think, I hated Sunday and Monday because I related them to St. John The Baptist Catholic Prison For Boys..Anyway, here it is Monday, and the DOG Days Of August are upon us...When we speak of the creature we have named DOG, in most cases that I have seen throughout my life, it is with a reverance reserved for the best of humanity..Read the name backwards, GOD, and what does that tell you about this creature..In my experiences with DOG, I have had nothing but love and admiration for mans best friend..When you are down and alone, your DOG would always be there for you..They are a creature that has been with man since the cave days..they would first just come around the caves and scavenge for the bones and other edible substances that were left about..They were more wolf like than the breeds we see today.Man noticed that these creatures were actually playful and quite more low key than a real wolf..they enticed them closer and closer, until finally they lived together, ate together, slept together, and most of all in some early depictions on the walls of the caves of times, they hunted together...They gave early man another weapon to be able to feed their various tribes and they even started to protect them from other animals..As the centuries moved on the DOG became more and more domesticated and started evolving, into the creatures we know today...Today there are many breeds, we all kinda have our favorites.Me my favorite breed is the German Shephard..I shared one with my daughters family, and I swear that DOG (Sabrina) knew every word I was saying to her..She had to be the first one to romp all over me every morning and she knew when it was play time and serious time..I have never met a smarter more loving DOG in my life..I had a DOG when I was a child, and this mother fucker was nuts..but I probably had a hand in making him that way. We wrestled every day, he raced and beat all the kids on the block, and I won a lot of baseball cards..He also ate everything in the house from furnishings to Strebors record collection..My Dad would come home wasted and sit at the bottom of the steps telling Old Chip that he was the only one in the family that loved him, and at two A.M. on a week night he was right again.I also had a GODDOG you can read that backwards or forwards also, his name was Bro Morris,. and he was as surly and tough as a DOG could be, but I know my friend Dave pretty good, and those two had a book full of experiences together..I saw Dave cry a few times, never like the day we had to put his buddy Bro down..I honestly believe DOGS are also, creatures that have a soul..Look into your DOGS eyes sometime and you can see the love, the admiration they have for you..You can throw that DOG across a room, you can smack him with a paper, you can yell and make him cower, and ten minutes later he will be back lickin your hand and dropping a leash at your feet..Time for a walk partner..Yes in our modern world they do present problems, but ask anybody that has a DOG or had a DOG for a companion and I guarantee that they will say it was worth it...So, today here at the Ville we will honor DOGS during the DOG days of August.. We can do famous DOGS or you can tell us about a DOG that was special to you...Doesn't matter no rules, come on in sit right down, baby let your mind roll on...
I think we all would agree that Lassie and Rin Tin Tin were the most famous DOGS, the reason being, they came into our homes each week with new adventures and tricks they performed in their shows..They actually were actors, that is amazing..There were movies about DOGS and I loved just about every one of them, starting with Old Yeller..Turner and Hooch,. and the one with Jim Belusi, as the cop with the German Shephard, I liked it when he let him in the limo with the Poodle..great stuff. WOOF!!! GROWL!!! BARK!!! and run, I am outta here...
We're Off...Monday, you know what is so bad about Monday, really the only thing is, it makes me hate Sunday..Stems from when I was a kid, I hated Sunday spent all morning in Church..9:15 Mass with my class, then back for the 11:00 high Mass that took well over two hours..From the time I got up until 2 P.M. I was in shock, then naturally Sunday afternoon was spent doing homework..This was not a good scenerio for a fun lovin, and free spirited kid..So, as I grow older, I kinda think, I hated Sunday and Monday because I related them to St. John The Baptist Catholic Prison For Boys..Anyway, here it is Monday, and the DOG Days Of August are upon us...When we speak of the creature we have named DOG, in most cases that I have seen throughout my life, it is with a reverance reserved for the best of humanity..Read the name backwards, GOD, and what does that tell you about this creature..In my experiences with DOG, I have had nothing but love and admiration for mans best friend..When you are down and alone, your DOG would always be there for you..They are a creature that has been with man since the cave days..they would first just come around the caves and scavenge for the bones and other edible substances that were left about..They were more wolf like than the breeds we see today.Man noticed that these creatures were actually playful and quite more low key than a real wolf..they enticed them closer and closer, until finally they lived together, ate together, slept together, and most of all in some early depictions on the walls of the caves of times, they hunted together...They gave early man another weapon to be able to feed their various tribes and they even started to protect them from other animals..As the centuries moved on the DOG became more and more domesticated and started evolving, into the creatures we know today...Today there are many breeds, we all kinda have our favorites.Me my favorite breed is the German Shephard..I shared one with my daughters family, and I swear that DOG (Sabrina) knew every word I was saying to her..She had to be the first one to romp all over me every morning and she knew when it was play time and serious time..I have never met a smarter more loving DOG in my life..I had a DOG when I was a child, and this mother fucker was nuts..but I probably had a hand in making him that way. We wrestled every day, he raced and beat all the kids on the block, and I won a lot of baseball cards..He also ate everything in the house from furnishings to Strebors record collection..My Dad would come home wasted and sit at the bottom of the steps telling Old Chip that he was the only one in the family that loved him, and at two A.M. on a week night he was right again.I also had a GODDOG you can read that backwards or forwards also, his name was Bro Morris,. and he was as surly and tough as a DOG could be, but I know my friend Dave pretty good, and those two had a book full of experiences together..I saw Dave cry a few times, never like the day we had to put his buddy Bro down..I honestly believe DOGS are also, creatures that have a soul..Look into your DOGS eyes sometime and you can see the love, the admiration they have for you..You can throw that DOG across a room, you can smack him with a paper, you can yell and make him cower, and ten minutes later he will be back lickin your hand and dropping a leash at your feet..Time for a walk partner..Yes in our modern world they do present problems, but ask anybody that has a DOG or had a DOG for a companion and I guarantee that they will say it was worth it...So, today here at the Ville we will honor DOGS during the DOG days of August.. We can do famous DOGS or you can tell us about a DOG that was special to you...Doesn't matter no rules, come on in sit right down, baby let your mind roll on...
I think we all would agree that Lassie and Rin Tin Tin were the most famous DOGS, the reason being, they came into our homes each week with new adventures and tricks they performed in their shows..They actually were actors, that is amazing..There were movies about DOGS and I loved just about every one of them, starting with Old Yeller..Turner and Hooch,. and the one with Jim Belusi, as the cop with the German Shephard, I liked it when he let him in the limo with the Poodle..great stuff. WOOF!!! GROWL!!! BARK!!! and run, I am outta here...
Sunday, August 12, 2012
"Today Is The 11th Or 12th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lords 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off...Stormy weather, Dog Days, Dying baseball season in Philly..and I just found out it is Sunday..Now if I wasn't already a manic depressive, I am now...Of course I don't really know what that means..Hey Plain, I am a manic something ain't I??..OH that is MANIAC depressant..I make other people nuts...What the fuck am I talkin about, and who reads this shit..Sunday workin, been a long time since I have done that, actually don't mind..kinda quiet around the Ville, critters are sleepin off their Saturday nite party, and the old dirt road is caked with water and dry spots and the corn is as high as an elephants eye or somebody that just toked the best weed on earth..So take what's left of the day, enjoy your Sunday dinner...Tomorrow we will lite up the Ville with our usual profound musings...I will blow TAPS tonite, and see everybody tomorrow.
We're Off...Stormy weather, Dog Days, Dying baseball season in Philly..and I just found out it is Sunday..Now if I wasn't already a manic depressive, I am now...Of course I don't really know what that means..Hey Plain, I am a manic something ain't I??..OH that is MANIAC depressant..I make other people nuts...What the fuck am I talkin about, and who reads this shit..Sunday workin, been a long time since I have done that, actually don't mind..kinda quiet around the Ville, critters are sleepin off their Saturday nite party, and the old dirt road is caked with water and dry spots and the corn is as high as an elephants eye or somebody that just toked the best weed on earth..So take what's left of the day, enjoy your Sunday dinner...Tomorrow we will lite up the Ville with our usual profound musings...I will blow TAPS tonite, and see everybody tomorrow.
Friday, August 10, 2012
"Today Is The 10th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time
We're Off.. Yo Guys!! Is it finally here?? Is it really VODKADAY!! Is there any Vodka left in the country?? HEY SAMPLE THERE IST A LOTS OF VOODKA RIGHT HERE AT DA VILLT..YOUF HAFF BEEN A GOOT BOY THESE LAST FEW WEEKS, YOU VANT SOME NOW?? Shh,,,Uh-Uh-fuckin rite, gimme that bottle..Got any orange juice? NO!! HA HA!! YOU KNOW VE DRANK IT STRATE IN SLOVAKIA!! Sorry Slat, uhm, give me that tomato juice. DAT IST OLD SAMPLE...Give me the fuckin tomato juice, I don't care if looks like ketchup. I am making myself a bloody mary...VAT YOU GOING TO DO SAMPLE?? PUNCH DAT MARY CHICK IN HER NOSE...No Slat, that is the name of a drink...VAT, DA FOOK, YOU PEOPLE NAME YOUR DRANKS??? Yep we name our drinks and a lot of them have peoples names in them and a lot are named after people...SAMPLE, LET ME WAKE THE OTHER CRATTERS AND VE WILL FINDT OUT DA NEMES....Wait Blat don't wake them, if that parrot is in Sammy's tree, I will have to go and get my shotgun...Sit down and let me tell you a few names...
I already told you about BLOODY MARY.. There is also some good old Tennessee Bourbon goes by the name of JACK DANIELS..and it was a favorite of one of our best all time singers, one Frank Sinatra..In fact Old Blue Eyes drank with JACK DANIELS everyday..EVERYDAY SAMPLE LIKE US CRATTERS..Yep, everyday Slat, in fact he would only drink it out of a seven ounce glass with two ice cubes, until about two in the morning then he would drink it through a shitty diaper..The man was a classic..How about this one Slat, JIM BEAM, and there is also a JOHNNY WALKER RED, and his cousin, JOHNNY WALKER BLACK...those two guys are tough too handle..THEY ARE TOUGH GUYS SAMPLE?? Yes they are my naive friend..How about when your favorite bartender hooks you up with TOM COLLINS?? Wow! does he ever sting...VAT IST HE SAMPLE A BEE??No Slat he is a drink, try and remember what we are talking about..I know it is difficult for you mental midgets...AHAHAHH!! I AIN'T NO MADGET SAMPLE!! Phew, never mind, you already know the shit I gotta put up with around here...Come on in sit rite down baby let your mind roll on..Here on VODKADAY, during The Dog Days, and storms a-comin, bring in the names and brands of your favorite drinks...this should be easy...Plain knows more drinks than Luden's got cough drops, ain't heard that one in awhile...I think I'll have another, but I have to have a new name for this drink..Ketchup and Vodka anybody think of a good name. It is kinda thick and kinda goes down like in a gulp..Wonder how it would taste with mustard...Hey Slat!!!!!
We're Off.. Yo Guys!! Is it finally here?? Is it really VODKADAY!! Is there any Vodka left in the country?? HEY SAMPLE THERE IST A LOTS OF VOODKA RIGHT HERE AT DA VILLT..YOUF HAFF BEEN A GOOT BOY THESE LAST FEW WEEKS, YOU VANT SOME NOW?? Shh,,,Uh-Uh-fuckin rite, gimme that bottle..Got any orange juice? NO!! HA HA!! YOU KNOW VE DRANK IT STRATE IN SLOVAKIA!! Sorry Slat, uhm, give me that tomato juice. DAT IST OLD SAMPLE...Give me the fuckin tomato juice, I don't care if looks like ketchup. I am making myself a bloody mary...VAT YOU GOING TO DO SAMPLE?? PUNCH DAT MARY CHICK IN HER NOSE...No Slat, that is the name of a drink...VAT, DA FOOK, YOU PEOPLE NAME YOUR DRANKS??? Yep we name our drinks and a lot of them have peoples names in them and a lot are named after people...SAMPLE, LET ME WAKE THE OTHER CRATTERS AND VE WILL FINDT OUT DA NEMES....Wait Blat don't wake them, if that parrot is in Sammy's tree, I will have to go and get my shotgun...Sit down and let me tell you a few names...
I already told you about BLOODY MARY.. There is also some good old Tennessee Bourbon goes by the name of JACK DANIELS..and it was a favorite of one of our best all time singers, one Frank Sinatra..In fact Old Blue Eyes drank with JACK DANIELS everyday..EVERYDAY SAMPLE LIKE US CRATTERS..Yep, everyday Slat, in fact he would only drink it out of a seven ounce glass with two ice cubes, until about two in the morning then he would drink it through a shitty diaper..The man was a classic..How about this one Slat, JIM BEAM, and there is also a JOHNNY WALKER RED, and his cousin, JOHNNY WALKER BLACK...those two guys are tough too handle..THEY ARE TOUGH GUYS SAMPLE?? Yes they are my naive friend..How about when your favorite bartender hooks you up with TOM COLLINS?? Wow! does he ever sting...VAT IST HE SAMPLE A BEE??No Slat he is a drink, try and remember what we are talking about..I know it is difficult for you mental midgets...AHAHAHH!! I AIN'T NO MADGET SAMPLE!! Phew, never mind, you already know the shit I gotta put up with around here...Come on in sit rite down baby let your mind roll on..Here on VODKADAY, during The Dog Days, and storms a-comin, bring in the names and brands of your favorite drinks...this should be easy...Plain knows more drinks than Luden's got cough drops, ain't heard that one in awhile...I think I'll have another, but I have to have a new name for this drink..Ketchup and Vodka anybody think of a good name. It is kinda thick and kinda goes down like in a gulp..Wonder how it would taste with mustard...Hey Slat!!!!!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
"Today Is The 9th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off. Talkin to one of the greatest citizens here at the Ville yesterday, one Jimmy Mctime, and he told me if I had time on my hands I would be dangerous..that set off a chain reaction in my medulla oblongata, and today let's talk about that abstract known as time..We all know the Stones Song, Time Is On My Side, and believe me this song has a place in my life that is really unprecedented..When I went to my fire base in Viet Nam, that place next to hell called Khe Sahn, the first day I was there, my Platoon Sergeant, one Joe Garcia had 5 days left in country, he sticks his head in my bunker and starts singing that fuckin song to me...then my niece, also Plains niece, Jimbo and Sheila's daughter Tara, gets a part in the movie the Fallen, back in the 90's and what song does she sing in the movie, yep..Time Is On My Side..Yes Tara, is a unique, wonderful, and talented person, and as I stated she is Plain's niece, Sheila, her mother is Plain's sister, she is my cousin, Jimbo, her father was my cousin R.I.P. Jim, and she calls me Uncle E.. Only in Manayunk kids, Only in Manayunk..Everybody is related either through blood, or bonds that tie for a lifetime.
We're Off. Talkin to one of the greatest citizens here at the Ville yesterday, one Jimmy Mctime, and he told me if I had time on my hands I would be dangerous..that set off a chain reaction in my medulla oblongata, and today let's talk about that abstract known as time..We all know the Stones Song, Time Is On My Side, and believe me this song has a place in my life that is really unprecedented..When I went to my fire base in Viet Nam, that place next to hell called Khe Sahn, the first day I was there, my Platoon Sergeant, one Joe Garcia had 5 days left in country, he sticks his head in my bunker and starts singing that fuckin song to me...then my niece, also Plains niece, Jimbo and Sheila's daughter Tara, gets a part in the movie the Fallen, back in the 90's and what song does she sing in the movie, yep..Time Is On My Side..Yes Tara, is a unique, wonderful, and talented person, and as I stated she is Plain's niece, Sheila, her mother is Plain's sister, she is my cousin, Jimbo, her father was my cousin R.I.P. Jim, and she calls me Uncle E.. Only in Manayunk kids, Only in Manayunk..Everybody is related either through blood, or bonds that tie for a lifetime.
OK, time moves on, see there we go with time again...Time flys, that is a man made concept, but no concept we as humans make up, will ever be more true...I wake up some TIMES and wonder, am I really 66?? Number 1. How did I ever make it?? Number 2. How do I look this good??LOL!! How about Timing is EVERYTHING, it doesn't get much more serious than that..If you really want to get into the karma of time, think just for a moment want it has meant to your life...If I wasn't born around the same time as Plain, there would be no Plain and Simple, thus, no Internet..who the fuck would read anything else on the Internet?? Who the fuck reads this shit?? Some of the most physiological, and Biblical terminology have to do with time...The beginning of time, The end of time..they are powerful statements..They resonate with the theory that time was here since the beginning and will be here at the end..The beginning of what I don't know, the end of what I don't know. Maybe the universe, maybe thought, maybe God..To decipher these abstract concepts is beyond my mental capacity..Having said that, lets have some fun with time, because we always say. "What a great time I had, or that was a rotten time..or I wasn't there that time. Maybe some other time..Time and Tide wait for no man, or jellyfish..One thing I do know time does not now or ever stand still..They speak of time travel, and I believe in time travel, because you can travel back to places and people way back in your past, but only in your mind..There ain't no H.G. Wells travel machine, not yet anyway..OK, I am running out of time..this should be good. Here Plain and anyone else visiting, here is the ball, run with it and see how long it takes you to come up with some good theories on time... , but remember you are on the clock GO!!!The Rolling Stones - Time Is On My Side
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
"Today Is The 8th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off...Just to clear up a little matter from yesterdays Cowboy Post. Little Beaver, was Red Ryders Indian Companion once again played by Robert Blake, and Guy Madison played Wild Bill Hickock..and no Plain, I did not look any of them up on google..I shoulda been a cowboy..
HEY SAMPLE!! Yes Blat..THERE IST HORSE SHAT ALL OVERT DA VILLE, FROM YOUR COWBOY FRIENDS...Look Blat I do enough around here, you and the rest of those critters can clean up horse shit, it is good luck. GOOD LUCK!! HEY CRATTERS SAMPLE SAID, THAT PICKIN UP HORSE SHAT IS GOOD LUCK!!ARK HE IS A FUCKING LIAR, HE IS A FUCKING LIAR!!! Hey Greeny stay right there, I will be right back....ARK!! GETTING OUTTA HERE, GETTING OUTTA HERE, HE HAD THAT CRAZY LOOK IN HIS EYES.!!!HE HAD THAT CRAZY LOOK IN HIS EYES!!!...Hey Blat, where did that parrot go?? TOOK OFT INTO THE PANE BURRENS SAMPLE..ARKED THAT YOU LOOK NUTS...He's right, I not only look nuts, I am nuts..
Onward we move..Cowboys are fun..The Old Wild West was a crazy place..I shoulda been a Cowboy..Kinda neat somebody fucks with ya, and you say, let's go outside, baby it had a whole different connotation back then..If you weren't quick on the draw, or even if you were, and couldn't shoot straight you were one dead dude..Little known fact.. The Wild West, was where the phrase, Hey Dude first originated, yep it was after the civil war, and a lot of Confederate Soldiers having lost their homes and now out of the army, had nowhere to go, so a lot of them drifted out into Kansas and Oklahoma and Nebraska, a lot of them worked as cowboys, and others took up gun slingin and robbin and a stealin..ala Jesse James and the James gang...the Hole in the Wall Gang, Quantrill's Raiders, and of course Doc Holliday and other gamblers, and ramblers like him...Yeah, I shoulda been a Cowboy...Others looking for fortune, fun, and, adventure also headed West..Some of them were business men and some were card sharks and thieves...The ones that dressed up in their bowler hats and tied ties, and spiffy vests, pants and boots were first called dukes, they were likened to the Dukes in Europe...The Ex Confederate Soldiers and other Southerners had a hard time saying DUKE and it came out something like DUUUDE..thus the term Dude was incorporated into the Western Culture,and language...See if you citizens or visitors can help me out with some of our Western heritage today..I know there were a lot of ladies of the night in the boom towns, Wichita, Dodge City and Tombstone, and Deadwood. I was always intrigued by these ladies (still am intrigued by ladies), and how they fared with these pistol wearing desperados..Yeah, I shoulda been a Cowboy....In the immortal words of John Doc Holliday.. "I'm Your Huckleberry"
We're Off...Just to clear up a little matter from yesterdays Cowboy Post. Little Beaver, was Red Ryders Indian Companion once again played by Robert Blake, and Guy Madison played Wild Bill Hickock..and no Plain, I did not look any of them up on google..I shoulda been a cowboy..
HEY SAMPLE!! Yes Blat..THERE IST HORSE SHAT ALL OVERT DA VILLE, FROM YOUR COWBOY FRIENDS...Look Blat I do enough around here, you and the rest of those critters can clean up horse shit, it is good luck. GOOD LUCK!! HEY CRATTERS SAMPLE SAID, THAT PICKIN UP HORSE SHAT IS GOOD LUCK!!ARK HE IS A FUCKING LIAR, HE IS A FUCKING LIAR!!! Hey Greeny stay right there, I will be right back....ARK!! GETTING OUTTA HERE, GETTING OUTTA HERE, HE HAD THAT CRAZY LOOK IN HIS EYES.!!!HE HAD THAT CRAZY LOOK IN HIS EYES!!!...Hey Blat, where did that parrot go?? TOOK OFT INTO THE PANE BURRENS SAMPLE..ARKED THAT YOU LOOK NUTS...He's right, I not only look nuts, I am nuts..
Onward we move..Cowboys are fun..The Old Wild West was a crazy place..I shoulda been a Cowboy..Kinda neat somebody fucks with ya, and you say, let's go outside, baby it had a whole different connotation back then..If you weren't quick on the draw, or even if you were, and couldn't shoot straight you were one dead dude..Little known fact.. The Wild West, was where the phrase, Hey Dude first originated, yep it was after the civil war, and a lot of Confederate Soldiers having lost their homes and now out of the army, had nowhere to go, so a lot of them drifted out into Kansas and Oklahoma and Nebraska, a lot of them worked as cowboys, and others took up gun slingin and robbin and a stealin..ala Jesse James and the James gang...the Hole in the Wall Gang, Quantrill's Raiders, and of course Doc Holliday and other gamblers, and ramblers like him...Yeah, I shoulda been a Cowboy...Others looking for fortune, fun, and, adventure also headed West..Some of them were business men and some were card sharks and thieves...The ones that dressed up in their bowler hats and tied ties, and spiffy vests, pants and boots were first called dukes, they were likened to the Dukes in Europe...The Ex Confederate Soldiers and other Southerners had a hard time saying DUKE and it came out something like DUUUDE..thus the term Dude was incorporated into the Western Culture,and language...See if you citizens or visitors can help me out with some of our Western heritage today..I know there were a lot of ladies of the night in the boom towns, Wichita, Dodge City and Tombstone, and Deadwood. I was always intrigued by these ladies (still am intrigued by ladies), and how they fared with these pistol wearing desperados..Yeah, I shoulda been a Cowboy....In the immortal words of John Doc Holliday.. "I'm Your Huckleberry"
Toby Keith - Should've Been A Cowboy
Song is should've been a cowboy by toby keith. if you ask me it's one of his best songs but that could just be me so please enjoy. if the timings ...
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
"Today Is The 7th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time (FINALLY)
We're Off. Sorta liked these morning musings here at the Ville..While everybody was hectic and running around getting ready for their daily chores, the Ville was spewing out the most profound musings on the Internet..Of course most people realize that all good things must end, not me, I always feel the good time will last forever, that is why I am a Simpleton. I shoulda been a cowboy..
Cowboys ain't easy to love and their harder to hold. They would rather give you a song than diamonds and Gold...Cowboys like smokey old pool rooms and clear mountain mornings little warm puppies and girls of the nite..Those that don't know him won't like him and them that do sometimes won't know how to take him...He ain't wrong he is just different and he won't change to make you think he is right..Yeah, I shoulda been a cowboy...Drift off for a moment to those days of yesteryear. The days of The Lone Ranger And Tonto..What happened to the Cowboys...Where did Cheyenne go, did he finally settle down..Did Palladin finally kill his last man? How about Wyatt Earp he tried to clean up that old wild west country, he tried to make law and order prevail.., the last I heard he was singin with Hoot Gibson in The Grande Olde Opry..Then there was always Josh Randall, the toughest bounty hunter in the West,, with that old sawed off shotgun, he brought a lot of bad guys to justice, he was said to have married Annie Oakley and they gave birth too Lash Larue Randall.....Maverick he rang his bell once too often and little known fact he was the first gambler to suggest Texas Hold-Em...Let's not forget Hop-A-Long-Cassidy and his famous horse Topper,,. my first toy, I still have it.. The King of The Cowboys himself Roy Rogers, and his wife Dale Evans, last I heard Roy and Trigger were making roast beef sandwiches on the New Jersey Turnpike.I also heard SugarFoot got his ass kicked by Black Bart for stickin his foot in Bart's coffee and stirring it..Bronco Lane had a Street named after him in Waco Texas, and The Rifleman settled down there..Pancho and Cisco headed back to Mexico and opened the first Taco Bell..Bat Masterson, he of the cane and derby hat, was caught with an ace of spades in said Derby, no one has heard of him since, thus the death card.Wild Bill and Jingles had a vicious fight after Jingles Jangled during a card game and the bad guys shot Wild Bill where the sun don't shine...They said his last hand was Aces and Eights..Zorro, not really a cowboy, but a swordsman of fame and fury across the Mexican Plains..Last but not least, We all know what happened to Davy Crockett and Georgie Russell at the Alamo...Yeah, I shoulda been a cowboy...wonder what would have happened to me...
Bring them there Cowboy stories, not the football team Plain...let's ride back to those days of yesteryear....HI YO SILVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're Off. Sorta liked these morning musings here at the Ville..While everybody was hectic and running around getting ready for their daily chores, the Ville was spewing out the most profound musings on the Internet..Of course most people realize that all good things must end, not me, I always feel the good time will last forever, that is why I am a Simpleton. I shoulda been a cowboy..
Cowboys ain't easy to love and their harder to hold. They would rather give you a song than diamonds and Gold...Cowboys like smokey old pool rooms and clear mountain mornings little warm puppies and girls of the nite..Those that don't know him won't like him and them that do sometimes won't know how to take him...He ain't wrong he is just different and he won't change to make you think he is right..Yeah, I shoulda been a cowboy...Drift off for a moment to those days of yesteryear. The days of The Lone Ranger And Tonto..What happened to the Cowboys...Where did Cheyenne go, did he finally settle down..Did Palladin finally kill his last man? How about Wyatt Earp he tried to clean up that old wild west country, he tried to make law and order prevail.., the last I heard he was singin with Hoot Gibson in The Grande Olde Opry..Then there was always Josh Randall, the toughest bounty hunter in the West,, with that old sawed off shotgun, he brought a lot of bad guys to justice, he was said to have married Annie Oakley and they gave birth too Lash Larue Randall.....Maverick he rang his bell once too often and little known fact he was the first gambler to suggest Texas Hold-Em...Let's not forget Hop-A-Long-Cassidy and his famous horse Topper,,. my first toy, I still have it.. The King of The Cowboys himself Roy Rogers, and his wife Dale Evans, last I heard Roy and Trigger were making roast beef sandwiches on the New Jersey Turnpike.I also heard SugarFoot got his ass kicked by Black Bart for stickin his foot in Bart's coffee and stirring it..Bronco Lane had a Street named after him in Waco Texas, and The Rifleman settled down there..Pancho and Cisco headed back to Mexico and opened the first Taco Bell..Bat Masterson, he of the cane and derby hat, was caught with an ace of spades in said Derby, no one has heard of him since, thus the death card.Wild Bill and Jingles had a vicious fight after Jingles Jangled during a card game and the bad guys shot Wild Bill where the sun don't shine...They said his last hand was Aces and Eights..Zorro, not really a cowboy, but a swordsman of fame and fury across the Mexican Plains..Last but not least, We all know what happened to Davy Crockett and Georgie Russell at the Alamo...Yeah, I shoulda been a cowboy...wonder what would have happened to me...
Bring them there Cowboy stories, not the football team Plain...let's ride back to those days of yesteryear....HI YO SILVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, August 6, 2012
"Today Is The 6th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time Or Was Post Time. No Rules Remember..We're Off. In yesterdays post, I stated that I would like to keep the Ville a sorta, get outta the bullshit world place, but sometimes that is hard with scum shooting people in movie theaters, places of worship, the work place and anywhere else they damn well please..Bear with me, sometimes life just makes it difficult to laugh all the time..I wish it were not so, but then again, I wish a lot of things were not so, wishin don't get it..
At this time I also would be remiss, if I didn't extend our condolences here at the Ville, to the Reid family on the loss of their son...I am a lot of things, but I am not a hypocrite, I still don't like Andy or The Eagles regime..but that does not mean as a compassionate human being, that I can't pray for him and his family..His son seemed like a very troubled young man..As of right now I don't know the cause of his death, so I will not speculate..R.I.P. Garret Reid...
OK Plain, tomorrow I get to spend a day at the Ville, lets get back to laughin..Reality bites man...Little known facts and some game on tomorrow....
Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends.
TAPS
At this time I also would be remiss, if I didn't extend our condolences here at the Ville, to the Reid family on the loss of their son...I am a lot of things, but I am not a hypocrite, I still don't like Andy or The Eagles regime..but that does not mean as a compassionate human being, that I can't pray for him and his family..His son seemed like a very troubled young man..As of right now I don't know the cause of his death, so I will not speculate..R.I.P. Garret Reid...
OK Plain, tomorrow I get to spend a day at the Ville, lets get back to laughin..Reality bites man...Little known facts and some game on tomorrow....
Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends.
TAPS
Sunday, August 5, 2012
"Today Is The 5th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off... I know the Ville is mostly a light hearted place to visit, and I really do like it a lot for that very reason, but even at the Ville we cannot ignore the tragic world around us...Once again a blatant murderous mutant opens up on innocent people in a place of worship and slaughters seven unarmed men women and children..It will not stop until we as a society say that we have had enough.. There is no way to stop someone from wiring himself to the max and walking amongst the innocent and pulling the pin..There should be a red flag thrown up somewhere if someone buys 60,000 rounds of ammunition, but evidently it is more important to sell than to see the danger..So, what to do as a society..Number 1, a swift sword of justice should be wielded...Where is scumdusky, where is the red headed joker. I'll tell you where they are, eating, drinking, reading, showering, shitting and living, when in effect they should have been dead the day they were convicted of these heinious crimes...I just read where a child porn ring has been busted, you want to know what they were chatting about, killing children and eating them...yep you read it right, the two ring leaders got 18 years in jail.. That means they can be back at it in six..tell you anything...the justice system like most systems in this Country sucks..and until we the sheople do something about it. it will continue to suck and persecute the lesser crimes as if they were felonies and treat the felons with all the respect reserved for the innocent until proven guilty..Ladies and Gentlemen if a mother fucker that raped and hurt children his whole life, if a scum ball that killed 58 people , if whatever they are chatted about killing and eating children have already not proved they are guilty what the fuck man...KILL THEM ALL!! why, are they allowed to live and make this society look like a joke...Tomorrow, we will lighten up.
Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends., and I truly mean that.
TAPS
We're Off... I know the Ville is mostly a light hearted place to visit, and I really do like it a lot for that very reason, but even at the Ville we cannot ignore the tragic world around us...Once again a blatant murderous mutant opens up on innocent people in a place of worship and slaughters seven unarmed men women and children..It will not stop until we as a society say that we have had enough.. There is no way to stop someone from wiring himself to the max and walking amongst the innocent and pulling the pin..There should be a red flag thrown up somewhere if someone buys 60,000 rounds of ammunition, but evidently it is more important to sell than to see the danger..So, what to do as a society..Number 1, a swift sword of justice should be wielded...Where is scumdusky, where is the red headed joker. I'll tell you where they are, eating, drinking, reading, showering, shitting and living, when in effect they should have been dead the day they were convicted of these heinious crimes...I just read where a child porn ring has been busted, you want to know what they were chatting about, killing children and eating them...yep you read it right, the two ring leaders got 18 years in jail.. That means they can be back at it in six..tell you anything...the justice system like most systems in this Country sucks..and until we the sheople do something about it. it will continue to suck and persecute the lesser crimes as if they were felonies and treat the felons with all the respect reserved for the innocent until proven guilty..Ladies and Gentlemen if a mother fucker that raped and hurt children his whole life, if a scum ball that killed 58 people , if whatever they are chatted about killing and eating children have already not proved they are guilty what the fuck man...KILL THEM ALL!! why, are they allowed to live and make this society look like a joke...Tomorrow, we will lighten up.
Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends., and I truly mean that.
TAPS
Saturday, August 4, 2012
"Today Is The 3rd And Fourth Days Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 202."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off..WOW!!! crawl back into the Ville on VodkaDay Nite, with no Vodka...I hear music and ARKING!! coming from the hooch..cross the dirt road and look in the window..WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I SEE!!! The critters have a coffin with a doo rag on the pillow, a Marine Corps Tee Shirt a pair of jeans and a pair of boots inside it, and a picture of me on the lid...I watch for a little while..Blat and Slat are saying some kinda prayers in Slavic, and crying like somebody kicked them in the nuts..Speaking of nuts, Sammy is GRRRRING and saying I owed him a bag of almonds.
Meere is yelling, WHO AM I GOING TO SLEEP WITH NOW!! HATTOONA MATADA, I'LL JUST GO BACK TO AFRICA, GREENY IS ARKIN!!!! DING DONG THE ASSHOLES DEAD, THE ASSHOLES DEAD...BILLY JUST WENT NAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Ah, and look at Plain sittin in the corner smirkin, he stands up, gets on his band box..and yells at the critters...IF YOU BUNCH OF MORONS THINK HE IS DEAD, YOU ARE AS WHACKY AS YOU LOOK!! My Main Man Plain!! I bust in the door: PLAIN'S RIGHT GUYS HERE I AM!! Everyone of the critters, stomp over me running out of the makeshift funeral...SCREAMING IT IST A GHAST!!! IT IST THE GHAST OF SAMPLE..ARK!! THAT IS ONE SCAREY GHOST, THAT IS ONE SCAREY GHOST, YAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! HATOONA MATADA MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!In a flash they are all gone. Hey Plain.. Hey Plain my ass...you know how hard I been workin around here, between goofing, toading and taking care of this place while you are roaming around the country?? Yeah, I know. Just haven't had a whole lot of time to hang at the Ville..OK, I just have one question for you? Are you a ghost? No Plain it is really me...Are you sure?? Yes Plain you can see it is me..PLAIN, PLAIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SHOTGUN?? PLAIN!!! PLAIN WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT CRAZY LOOK IN YOUR EYE???? I'll make you a fuckin ghost!!!!! , RUNNING AFTER THE CRITTERS,,,,,,,,, WAIT UP CRITTERS I GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!! I'll ....YEOW SHOTGUN BLAST!!!HE'S BACK!!!!!!!!! You better run you prick....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
We're Off..WOW!!! crawl back into the Ville on VodkaDay Nite, with no Vodka...I hear music and ARKING!! coming from the hooch..cross the dirt road and look in the window..WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I SEE!!! The critters have a coffin with a doo rag on the pillow, a Marine Corps Tee Shirt a pair of jeans and a pair of boots inside it, and a picture of me on the lid...I watch for a little while..Blat and Slat are saying some kinda prayers in Slavic, and crying like somebody kicked them in the nuts..Speaking of nuts, Sammy is GRRRRING and saying I owed him a bag of almonds.
Meere is yelling, WHO AM I GOING TO SLEEP WITH NOW!! HATTOONA MATADA, I'LL JUST GO BACK TO AFRICA, GREENY IS ARKIN!!!! DING DONG THE ASSHOLES DEAD, THE ASSHOLES DEAD...BILLY JUST WENT NAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Ah, and look at Plain sittin in the corner smirkin, he stands up, gets on his band box..and yells at the critters...IF YOU BUNCH OF MORONS THINK HE IS DEAD, YOU ARE AS WHACKY AS YOU LOOK!! My Main Man Plain!! I bust in the door: PLAIN'S RIGHT GUYS HERE I AM!! Everyone of the critters, stomp over me running out of the makeshift funeral...SCREAMING IT IST A GHAST!!! IT IST THE GHAST OF SAMPLE..ARK!! THAT IS ONE SCAREY GHOST, THAT IS ONE SCAREY GHOST, YAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! HATOONA MATADA MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!In a flash they are all gone. Hey Plain.. Hey Plain my ass...you know how hard I been workin around here, between goofing, toading and taking care of this place while you are roaming around the country?? Yeah, I know. Just haven't had a whole lot of time to hang at the Ville..OK, I just have one question for you? Are you a ghost? No Plain it is really me...Are you sure?? Yes Plain you can see it is me..PLAIN, PLAIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SHOTGUN?? PLAIN!!! PLAIN WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT CRAZY LOOK IN YOUR EYE???? I'll make you a fuckin ghost!!!!! , RUNNING AFTER THE CRITTERS,,,,,,,,, WAIT UP CRITTERS I GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!! I'll ....YEOW SHOTGUN BLAST!!!HE'S BACK!!!!!!!!! You better run you prick....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Thursday, August 2, 2012
"Today Be The 2nd Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."
It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off...Man, I am trailing the field..York, York, York, New York, Morris Plain, Morrisville, Morristown,,not one, not one, KeeblerTown, or KeeblerHamlet, thousands of miles and that man fuckin haunts me...I miss the Ville. I honestly have not had one day to think of my most profound musings...I have two or three posts that I never finished..You guys and girls, have no idea what it is like to drive mile after mile with this Phil The Thrill character..Just got interupted again...Yo E! let's go!! I gotta put a day in the shop Phil...Well if you have too put a day in the shop, you can't go on the road..Right, why don't you go on the road...No, if I go on the road, I won't be in the shop...I DON'T NEED YOU IN THE SHOP, GO DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO...I gotta put a day in the shop..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this guy is worse than Plain, well maybe not that bad....
I didn't even get to talk about that goofy looking mother fucker that shot up the Batman movie...WOW!! why the fuck is that puke alive!!! If I am a cop that is one dead mother fucker...and if they prosecuted me the country should riot....Of course the sheople would just say, well he killed that guy and justice has to be served...Pussy's man, this country is becoming a country of Pussy's man..It is getting to the point that almost everyday, there is some kind of calamity going on, and everyone, including me, goes on with their busy lives...beware the sender, one day he send it to you..Wake up, Country, start killing this slime instead of letting them live and eat and breathe,,where is Jerry?? Hey big guy, you in the shower?? I hope you fucking die in there....He hasn;'t even been sentenced yet, I guess it takes long to figure out what to do to a guy that fucked kids for a living..It will probably take years too sentence batpunk, he has about 58 charges of murder...They can't kill him for all 58, so give him to me, I will do the job for him...
We're Off...Man, I am trailing the field..York, York, York, New York, Morris Plain, Morrisville, Morristown,,not one, not one, KeeblerTown, or KeeblerHamlet, thousands of miles and that man fuckin haunts me...I miss the Ville. I honestly have not had one day to think of my most profound musings...I have two or three posts that I never finished..You guys and girls, have no idea what it is like to drive mile after mile with this Phil The Thrill character..Just got interupted again...Yo E! let's go!! I gotta put a day in the shop Phil...Well if you have too put a day in the shop, you can't go on the road..Right, why don't you go on the road...No, if I go on the road, I won't be in the shop...I DON'T NEED YOU IN THE SHOP, GO DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO...I gotta put a day in the shop..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this guy is worse than Plain, well maybe not that bad....
I didn't even get to talk about that goofy looking mother fucker that shot up the Batman movie...WOW!! why the fuck is that puke alive!!! If I am a cop that is one dead mother fucker...and if they prosecuted me the country should riot....Of course the sheople would just say, well he killed that guy and justice has to be served...Pussy's man, this country is becoming a country of Pussy's man..It is getting to the point that almost everyday, there is some kind of calamity going on, and everyone, including me, goes on with their busy lives...beware the sender, one day he send it to you..Wake up, Country, start killing this slime instead of letting them live and eat and breathe,,where is Jerry?? Hey big guy, you in the shower?? I hope you fucking die in there....He hasn;'t even been sentenced yet, I guess it takes long to figure out what to do to a guy that fucked kids for a living..It will probably take years too sentence batpunk, he has about 58 charges of murder...They can't kill him for all 58, so give him to me, I will do the job for him...
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Today is the first day of August in the Year Of Our Lord 2012
Well who knows where the hell Simple is, I have to do all the work around here and i'm getting carpel tunnel from all these Post I have to do.And I should be working on my golf game! Because there is no Gravity I suck. Buttttttttttttttttt speaking of sports have you been watching the Americans in the Olympics. The Girls were the Best of all, they did great.But did ya here the IRS wants to tax the Gold Medal winners up to 8,986 per Medal. This is your Obama at work.If you people out there don't get rid of this Moron in November you deserve everything you get.WAKE UP AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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