Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Today is the 31st Day of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012

Well July is gone  and so is Hunter , And Shane. I wish them well and sad to see them both go. Shane helped bring us a world Series. And their both going to contending Teams. Are Phillies have there work cut out for them and need a Great August to contend. And all I can say is where the Hell is Simple?

Monday, July 30, 2012

Today Is The 30th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off, yes we are Pennsyvania calls again.. The critters are telling me I spend so much time in that foreign land that they want to go with me and meet everybody in the place called Pennsylvania...I told them there are big cities there and lots of cars and people and and and,,,they all ran back in the hooch and started slugging Vodka and Beer....They want too stay out here with the bugs and the deer...oh yeah and the Pineys..
This is supposed to be fun, but every once in a while reality bites...Done with that penn state bullshit, as I said I can't deal with inverted logic..If I am one thing it is a logical person.. Anyone with any common sense can see that as they read todays introductory statement...
OK, this is getting torturous, THE PHILLIES!! WHAT IS GOING ON, THIS TEAM IS NOWHERE NEAR THIS BAD!!!  I keep thinking down 7 with 17 to go and they make a run to the playoffs..If this series with the Braves were reversed, and they had swept three the town would be nuts..I ain't quitting yet, but it is getting close and it is no longer April or Injuries..seem too have lost that swagger.., don't have the answer, maybe somebody can help me...NAH!! I am beyond help...Hey bring on The Dog Days....JULY SHE WILL FLY AND FLY SHE DID....Enjoy the rest of the summer of 2012...especially the young uns, best time of your life baby...

Sunday, July 29, 2012

"Today Is The 29th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

It Is Now Or Was Or May Be Post Time.
We're Off, Or We're Not..
OK,OK, this fuckin computer does whatever it wants..I don't know how many times I have posted or commented and get near the end and BADA BING!!!There ya go just did it again..this is a class action suit against Blogington, what a PLAIN in my scalded nuts..real quick a few Simple ramblings..
Penn State, The NCAA, The purpetrator of these horrible events, the ramifications, blow my little fucking mind...While scumdusky, is not even sentenced yet (he just had a shower and some breakfast, and the news paper brought to his room) The Penn State Football team, and it's players have been sentenced too, no bowls, no money no whatever else...because of a few men, all the wins that a lot of good young players were so proud of have been taken away...Hey Plain, tell me if I am wrong, but is this inverted logic, if not what is it??? Unless these young players knew about this (I don't think so), and did nothing about it, why are they being punished..let Penn State Play, take all the proceeds from all the games and donate it to Child Welfare or start your own new program at Penn State..I got a lot more to say, just let me hear your take..In a nutshell, which is my brain.
scumdusky
paterno,
spanier,
the other jerk off,
Whoever was involved, they should pay..that is logical..
The football players, the Penn State alumni, The Teachers, Former players and their families.  Why should they be penalized?  These folks did not know about this horror..I am sure the victims would feel the same way..The institutional heads at the time of these attrocities, the so called powers to be, were a bunch of meely mouthed mother fuckers and they should all burn.., but end it there and start programs against child abuse, that should be a mandate at Penn State forever..

Friday, July 27, 2012

"Today Is The 27th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012"

It Is Now Post Time
We're Off....PHEW!!!! hurry up Phil, get the truck let's get the fuck outta here!!!!!!!! jumpin in the truck, rumblin down a dirt road, finally out on the highway,,sweatin like a pig in heat, and outta York Pa..we run like the fuckin British...A little advice for anyone that has never been too York, DON'T FUCKIN GO!!! I just spent 2 days in the Land Of Fuckin Oz,,,Alice In Wonderland, Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds..and let me tell you, as  we are finally, finally close to a fucking deal, we are high fiving and what happens?? I'll tell you what happens fuckin winds about 60 mph..rainin so fuckin hard it looks like a baby monsoon..and Phil is saying..YEAH!! this is cool..I said this is cool?? YEAH LOOK AT THAT FUCKIN RAIN!!! I HAVE TO LOOK AT IT PHIL, I AM DRIVING!! YEAH E, BETTER KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!!!S WOW DID YOU SEE THAT LIGHTNING!! I SAW IT PHIL IT LIT UP THE FUCKIN EARTH!!! NEAT HUH??? WHERE YOU GOING?? I AM PULLING THE FUCK OVER SO YOU AND ME CAN WATCH THE RAIN AND THE LIGHTNING, OR BETTER YET YOU DRIVE AND I'LL WATCH....WELL IF YOUR WATCHING THE RAIN AND THE LIGHTNING, YOU CAN'T DRIVE..!! I KNOW THAT,,THAT IS WHY I PULLED OVER SO YOU CAN FUCKING DRIVE...I CAN'T SEE GOOD IN THE RAIN....OK, HERE IS WHAT WE WILL DO, I WILL KEEP DRIVING, DON'T FUCKING ASK ME IF I SAW THAT LIGHTNING, OR THIS LARGE DELUGE OF FUCKING RAIN, OK!!! YOU WATCH IT LET  ME DRIVE!!!!  OK,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but if you wanted me to drive I wouldn't be able to watch it.....WHAT DID YOU SAY PHIL, I DIDN'T HEAR YOU...nothin, I didn't say nothin....I HEARD SOMETHIN, YOU SAID SOMETHIN!!!    .............you can't hear...WHAT WAS THAT???  nothin I didn't say nothin...PHEW!! the shit I gotta put up with everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
You wonder where I have been.. I would say the Twi Light Zone or inner or outer space, but my whole fucking life is a Twi Light Zone!!! More later..the Ville is alive and well.....Well except for the fact it is VodkaDay, and man do I need some...Just let me tell ya, INTERPOL was involved in one of the deals....Phil thought it was a pool league calling for me and him to join,,you shoulda heard that fucking conversation....

Thursday, July 26, 2012

TODAY IS THE 26TH DAY OF JULY 2012 A.D.

OK OK OK............................ALERT..ALERT

We need to put an APB out for the two men pictured below............I am not sure what to do...I am buying Hershey Bars and Cigarettes for a trip to some prison..........Should I buy a Fruit Basket or flowers??????????Any suggestion will be greatly appreciated......I thought they might be with Michael Jackson's Mom as she was MIA.......SO look real good at these Pics..If you see them call STREBOR LOL  




Wednesday, July 25, 2012

TODAY IS WEDNESDAY THE 25TH DAY OF JULY 2012

Tumble weed rolling through the Ville............Getting scary now.............Jail....Prison....Where are they.....Vacation..........Eloped...............Hiding........Hostages by the Soccer Boys............Your guess is as good as mine....................

TAPS................Come home boys...Come home..........

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

TODAY IS TUESDAY THE 24TH DAY OF JULY 2012 A.D.

Well I didn't want to miss another day........I think Simple and Plain are in Andorra looking for the one that got away........Maybe a Soccer Player that Plain has been pursuing.........They both are MIA..........My gut feeling is Simple's puter got a virus and as you can see below he did it in..........Plain is out golfing and passing out with the other hackers........or maybe they took Simple with them and they are lost........either way they should be back some time.............


Sunday, July 22, 2012

"Today Is The 22nd Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off..First Phillies game of the year..Simples prediction, once I grace that place with my royal presence, the Phillies will go on a run.., and I do mean royal presence as I am taking the queen..I told Dave we are right in between the pitcher and the catcher.., before I could finish he told me we will probably get hit with a lot of balls...My friends are definitely a bunch of comedians...If a balll is hit into section 117 first base side, it is miner..I am bringing a peach basket the critters gave me..all is fair, in love, war, and grabbing a foul ball..In reality (yeah right).., I could care less about foul fuckin balls.My Dad, Myself, My Uncle Don and Lou from Baltimore were all at a game, at the Vet and Hank Aaron was taking batting practice, hardly anybody was there.. I had a wee bit of a hangover and he hit a ball right next to our section, nobody was sitting there..My Dad says, YO Kid, go get the ball, he could be the home run king some day...With all due respect Dad, you want that ball you go get it. Son is dying over here..He stands up starts walking over, takes a sip of his beer and says..Your right fuck that ball...Let's get it on Phils 13 back a whole lot to play...Make up ground time..It is time.anybody looking for me 15 rows back first base side, in between the pitcher and catcher...DUCK!!! You will know it is me, because I will have black jeans, a winter hat turned backwards, and black snow boots...Some of you may be laughing at that statement, people that know me, will just know that is me....Have a great Sunday..and I hope the people that want to comment can start making it happen..

Saturday, July 21, 2012

TODAY IS THE 21ST DAY OF JULY 2012 A.D. POST VODKA DAY

OK OK OK .......You want a girl in the Ville I am here to please........I know it is post Vodka day and it is hard for you to muster up to post and Plain needs a vacation day or two.......sooooooooooo I give you an old FLAME to brighten up the Ville and Honor the Olympics at the same time.........


Just remember....If things didn't go right she could have been your Obama

Friday, July 20, 2012

"Today Is The 20th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

It Is Now Post Time..
We're Off..Just talked to Plain, he told me either do a post or get outta the Ville..I told the critters I was leavin, and we all have been partying ever since..What really is strange around here is the fact that we are all guys, well except for an errant female squirrel now and then for Sam The Man..Soooo  I am open here today on VODKADAY, for nominees to be the first female critter at the Ville.  There it is ladies, I know you peek in here every now and then, so come on, give me some ideas for a female critter..and no Strebor is not it..Strebor, whoever she or he is,  is a citizen of this uhmmm place, in time and history, and no, just because there were chickens up my ass, I ain't of the female persuasion..Help me out ladies...I am counting on you...

Thursday, July 19, 2012

It is the 19th of July In The Year Of Our Lord 20 12

Damn I waited all day to see Simples new post and nothing, shakes my head. Last I heard from him he was saying something about Phil the Thrill and riding in a truck with him is like having a chicken in the truck with you !I dont know  what the hell that means  but I know this! If you had a chicken and Simple had a donkey then your Donkey ate Simples chicken what would you have ? Three feet of cock up Simples ass !!!!!!! Smirks and  walks away...........THATS WHAT YA GET WHEN YOU DONT DO A POST

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

"Today Is The 18th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off..After I deliver the bridge, I have to get the truck on the road, and wait till you hear where I have to go....you ain't going to fucking believe it, but I can't make this shit up....DRUM ROLL EASY................................................................................................Morris Plains, New Jersey... you gotta be shittin me, not only does he have a fuckin town named after him, I have to go there..The man haunts me....Of all the towns and places in this fukin world, I gotta go to Morris Plains, New Jermany..that is a 100% truth..it is hard for me to believe...PHIL THAT USED TO BE A THRILL FROM NEW JERMANY, just stared at the screen last night, and says, is that where Plain lives?? I was so dumbfounded that I think I said, I don't know if he lives there, but the place must be named after him...You know I gotta get some pictures..,let you now what his town looks like..i hope he isn't a slum lord..Long day ahead..on the Road with Phil. You have no idea what that is like...you just may as well put a chicken in the cab with you and see what happens...

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Today is the 17th Day of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012

Well here I am again doing Simple's job. He's somewhere up around Burlington New Germany up in the sticks. There's more people in the ville than up there.He had to get a Truck somewhere to do a job. Smirks  so Him and Phil the Thrill go trucking thru the back roads because they dont have a Truckers License.Simple is barreling down the Road singing "on the Road again" and Phill the Thrill from Cherry hill is  telling  him to look for the Road signs. Haaaaaaaaaa he never listens so guess what happens  he missed a Low Bridge sign about half a mile  down the Road low and behold he slams into and  under the Bridge and  gets  stuck. He has traffic Backed up for miles and  he's  so pissed off, yelling at Phil The Thrill from Cherry Hill why didn't you tell me?And  Phil is yelling  back I did I said  look for the  signs........well this  State Tropper  pulls  up and  he  has  to walk like a  half mile to get to them. He is  walking  around the truck shaking  his  head  staring  at Simple. And  Simple  if  fumming  at this  point and  the Trooper  says  stuck under the Bridge  huh ?Simple  told  him  nooooooooooooo I  was delivering this  fucking Bridge to Burlington and Ran out of Gas  you Moron!!!!!!!!!!Well Simple needs  Bail money or we  wont  see  him for a few Days. Shrugs and walks off.

Monday, July 16, 2012

"Today Is The 16th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

"It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off..Hot time, Monday in July, beach, camp grounds, pools, and sweltering...all part of the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer (according to what singer?) first one that gets the right answer gets an Eskimo Pie...!!!!!!!!!!...Just had a little spat, well a large argument with some dude, and his ending remarks were..what is wrong with you??...that shut me up, for a second, and then my most profound comeback was....A LOT!!!  I just heard a click on the other end of the line..so I called back and when he answered I hung up, I wanted to get the last click in...and he wants to know what is wrong with me...lol!! A little fun today, let's do beach anything to do with beach, you know if you got some time, A-Z bring the beach..
A-Atlantic
B-BEACH  HAHAAHH!!
C-Clams
D-
E-Eskimo Pie....
F-Fudgie Wudgies, give your tongue a sleigh ride.
G-Girls..what am I 15??
H-Hotties.. what am I 16??
I
J
Alright you know what to do....

Sunday, July 15, 2012

"Today Is The15th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off..WOW!! penn state and its hierarchy are getting bombarded again, and righfully so, may I be so obtuse to ask, Why in the fuck was there a halo around paterno's head, did he get cannonized when I wasn't looking...ONE MORE TIME YOU FUCKING MORONS, HE WAS A COACH, HE COACHED FOOTBALL, HE DID NOT INVENT THE POLIO VACICINE, HE DIDN'T EVEN CURE THE SICK, HE DID HELP THE SICK, THE ANTI CHRIST TO BE EXACT, FUCK LITTLE BOYS IN HIS LOCKER ROOM, QUIT BEATIFYING THIS FUCKIN DO NOTHIN, WHEN IT CAME TIME TO TRULY YELL "WE ARE PENN STATE" HE WAS HIDING IN HIS OFFICE THINKING UP WAYS TO GET HIM AND HIS FAMILY A NEW CONTRACT, A RIDE ON THE PRIVATE JET, DELUXE SUITES TO WATCH THE GAMES AND A NEVER ENDING SUPPLY OF CHILDREN FOR HIS FRIEND TO FUCK, JUST BY KEEPING HIS MOST HOLY MOUTH SHUT...  Excuse me while I puke...I am sure you are all reading the results of the investigation, if that don't make you all puke with me, something is wrong with you,, This is the worst travesty of human dignity that I have ever witnessed., and if you go back to my posts from when this first broke you will see, I said Paterno knew...How could he not, he was a Saint..Saint Scumbag...I think him, and spannier, and curly and anybody else involved, were DRUM ROLL EASY......................................................................................AFRAID OF BIG BAD JERRY SCUMDUSKY, YEP THAT IS WHAT I THINK.. IF NOT WHY DID THEY NOT CALL THIS CHILD FUCKING MONSTER, ONTO THE CARPET, THEY WERE AFRAID FOR THE UNIVIVERSITY AND AFRAID FOR THEMSELVES...YEP, BIG JER, THE FAGGOT, WOULD BUST THEM ALL UP, AND THE CONTRACTS AND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS AND THE LIBRARY AND THE STATUES AND HALOS, AND ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN SAVING A HUMAN CHILD FROM THE DEVIL WOULD EVAPORATE!!All except their honor, of which none of them had any,,,....I ask again, does it get anymore sickening than that?? not to me it don't..Paterno was worried about his next contract as soon as he saw the sparks start too fly, and did his best to secure it for him and his family...here is a guy that was getting carried off the field by his team, to the cheers of a hundred thousand penn state faithful... Maybe that is why he couldn't hear the screams of one little boy, who was getting raped, by a real monster in his very own showers...they are ripping down those showers, leave them up, let them stagnate, let them rust over and let spanier, cully and whatever other scuzz knew of these attrocities live the rest of their lives there, dig joe pathetics body up and throw that rotten corpse in there with them...They should do the humane thing to this crew..into the pit with BIG JERRY SANDUSKY,,THIS WAY BEFORE THEY ALL DIE THEY CAN GET A GOOD FUCKIN FROM THE BIG GUY..They all should die....FUCK ALL OF THEM!!!!THAT MY FRIENDS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL, YOU DON'T LIKE IT, I DON'T FUCKIN CARE.....Anybody that worshipped and felt bad for Paterno and wanted him to rest in peace, recant your statements..he is as guilty if not more so than the rest of them...at least you can recant, they can't.....and neither can those innocent little boys, who should have been playing baseball, using a coloring book, or maybe just riding their bikes and taking in the day, no they weren't allowerd to do that, they were getting fucked anally by big jer the faggot...and joe was getting his team ready for the ohio state game...I have my head down right now, I am actually ready to shed a tear, it is so disgusting that if a Simpleton like myself can feel this much compassion for these children, how, how, could not one of these so called intelligencia at a first rate university put a stop to this madness......!!!!!!!

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Today is the 14th Day of July in The Year Of Our Lord 2012

 Here it is the 14th whew we made it thru the 13th suppose to be an unlucky day.So that makes me ask do any of you have Trisodekophoiba ? Thats the technical name for fear of the 13th nods yep it is.

       And do you know Friday the 13th happens 3 times in the year 2012 and they are all 13 weeks apart, this hasn't happend since 1984. And anytime  Friday the 13th rolls around it cost billions , People cancel trips , planes , Trains, theres reduced commerce,all because of superstitutions. Pftttttttt I say to that I walked into the bar CJ&ECKS yesterday I was the 13th person to come in and Floyd says  we are betting the Ponies today you worried it's the 13th ? I said give me the Paper I look and theres 13 horses in the race so I tell him give me 13 to win 13 to place  and 13 to show on the 13 Horse and  guess what haaaaaaaaaaa Low and behold it ran 13th.

       But really people do belive the number 13 is bad , like they wont name their chrildren with 13 letters it's superstition Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson, and  and  theres 13 steps leading to the gallows,it's 13 feet the Quillotine falls, there were 13 People at the last supper, Christ  and the 12 Disciples and Our Lord was Crucifixtion was on a Friday, in France they use a Quatrorzieme a Professional guest if there is only 13 people attending a Party. And  last but not  least Apollo 13  in 1970 the 13th mission was aborted after an explosion in the fuel cell. The Rocket left the launching pad at 13:13 CST and the Date was April 13th and ya heard it all here on Sane and Simple. Shrugs and walks off.

Friday, July 13, 2012

"Today Is 13th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off..To all the jock strap sniffing, movie actor ass licking idiots out there, read todays Daily News..What do you think of those sons-of-bitches at Penn State, rather than sully the name of their fucking university, and its fuckin football program, the heads of Mount Nittany, let innocent children get fucked by a monster and THEY ALL KNEW ABOUT IT!!!go defend their names somewhere else, I personally could give a shit what their names are, they gotta face the Man, and if you ever read the Bible, he don't like people that mess with his children, and nor do I..For you worshippers of all things celebrity, watch what you worship it may come back to fuck ya...I despise what went down at Penn State..I feel bad for all the good people that went to Penn State, and worked hard to get their degrees, and made a good life for themselves, they have nothing to be ashamed of, they had nothing to do with this disgrace..., I hope everyone understands that..as for anyone that knew what this fucking monster was doing you can rot in hell, you bunch of hypocritical bastards...and you will..When I drive that bus to hell, I will be looking for you....I gotta go....

Thursday, July 12, 2012

"Today Is The 12th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

It Is Now Post Time.. the horses are entering the track, the 1 horse is shitting, true story, look at my buddy Jack, and say, yo that was the horse we were going to bet..He says, so what?  Yo dude he is shitting..He says, so what? I said, you ever try running after you took a shit...He says, yeah today before the first race, when I came out of that bathroom over there and saw there was only 1 minute till post..Oh Yeah, did you get the bet in on time...NO, as a matter of fact I didn't..WELL THEN YOU GET MY POINT, A FUCKING HORSE CAN'T RUN AFTER IT SHITS!!!  So he agrees with Simple and we play another horse, and the 1 goes wire to wire, wins pays 19.00 exacta 87.00., and Jack says, horses can't run after they shit huh?? I am still banging my head against the rail, and the fuckin 1 horse is still running.  I told Jack, only if they have to take another shit...He didn't know much about horse racing and says no shit...I said, yep no shit....PHEW!! how pissed was I..
Another horse racing classic, we had this friend that no matter what you said, he would say I KNEW THAT ...You all know those types, they know the Unknown Soldiers GrandFather..We had a horse running at Aquaduct in the fourth race, so we go for the whole day...The second race my buddy Jack (same one) comes up to me and says look at the 2 horse..I look and this horse doesn't have a shot...I tell Jack, he sucks man, he is 50-1,, he says look at his name..The fuckin horses name is I KNEW THAT, and he is  50-1..I tell Jack, dude we gotta put at least 20.00 on him too win...Anyway I KNEW THAT wins the race me and Jack are high fivin and our other friend says, you guys had that...UHMM yeah, yeah we didn't know where you were...He says man that is a 100.00 horse, what made you pick him, and he starts looking at the racing form...So, I start showing him where the horse had a bad race two back, finished 9th but it looked like he was making a move...He contemplates it, and say yeah, but had to be something else...So, I say, well his father won up here 8 years ago, so his family must like the track..He looks at the paper again and says, oh yeah, then he looks at me and says,, I KNEW THAT!!!!...I almost fuckin lost it, I look at Jack and he has his head down, and he is laughing so fucking hard, I had to tell the other dude I had to take a shit and ran in the bathroom..lmfbo.....I don't know how many of our visitors like horse racing, but to me, it is thee greatest of sports, not only the race itself, but the horses, jockeys, the betting, the day at the track always with a bunch of friends, it is just a good day, and especially if you win a few bucks....
OK onto bigger and better. Hey Plain when The General (Inspiration) and Easy (Everything) started this Ville, it was me and you..This is not a popularity contest, but I take exception to the fact that so many people seem to think the Ville sucked with you on the DL for a few days..Now, by nature I am not a jealous person, but having to take a back seat to you, does not sit well with the Hoster errrrr Poster.  I miss a few weekend days..(ahem). and I get gunned down like some cur...If all the visitors and citizens think his Jedi Knight Ass could pull this Ville together without me, you are as whacked as him...How you like them beans Plain...

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

"Today Is The 11th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off...First and foremost get well Plain...You are in our prayers brother man..I will try to make the Ville survive without you for a couple of days, but that will be awfully hard...(gag) (gag)..You know I love ya brother..Call you later.
Onto todays quest for knowledge that cannot be found anywhere else on the internet or in the universe..A little more on yesterdays little known fact, Linda LoveLace actually started out blowing Bubbles...only in this case Bubbles was the tight end on the high school football team..She said once she popped Bubbles they started calling him Bubba..you heard it here first on Plain and Simple..
Todays date 7/11 big numbers in the game of craps..anybody betting the pass line wins when on the first throw the dice come out either 7 or 11..very quick if 2-3or 12 come out on the first roll you lose...any other number 4-5-6-8-9-10 come out..you get the dice back and have to throw that number again before you throw a seven...Ahhhhh!!! that is when they yell 7 out...hope you got that, craps is actually a really easy game, the side bets and odds are what get people confused..Took me about 3 hours and 40,000.00 to learn it..no, I already knew how to play from games down on Baker Street with my Dad...Now there were some crap games..I don't really have much going today..if you get a chance and you can find one play your numbers in a 7/11 today..Karma people, Karma, it works.  Just look at Plain and Simple...bring anything you like, have a good time..

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

"Today Is The 10th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012"

It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off...Serious Moment...Plain, get back on that trike and ride through the Ville givin me the finger..Without you there ain't no Ville... Even when you try to be serious, it is hard to be serious around here. I just told Terry to get on a trike, he can't fit on anymore, and ride through some fictional Ville hangout, where I live with a bunch of critters, and give me the finger..People gotta be like these morons really are fucked up..."OR ARE WE SO FUCKIN SANE WE BLOW YOUR MINDS!!!!!! Little known fact: When Linda Love Lace, her of the enlarged esophagus, started her career in blowing, ok get you minds straight, this is serious shit, it was with her psychologist, yep one Henry Mindenfelder..She was talking to him about her obsession with fellatio...and as she was laying on the couch Henry, who was actually a sex addict, started listening to her wondrous feats in the blowing business.. She told him one time she blew a kite to Austrailia, he said where were you when you accomplished that feat, she said Borneo, taking lessons in sword swallowing..WOW!! that is some blow job..Linda you have been looking for an occupation now for some time..maybe your occupation is in blowing.. Maybe you should call Bob Dylan, he knows a lot about Blowin in the Wind..Linda told Henry things she never told anyone before..She told him of her deep throat, and then started to sing like Louis Armstrong..She also told him of her idea to do a movie on fellatio called Deep Throat, yep that was what she wanted to call it..she couldn't see Henry who at this time was sweating profusely and shaking in his chair, he was chanting do it Linda, do it Linda, and as she described her techniques, Henry started shaking and quiveing and grunting, yep, I think the wondrous doctor was turned on. When Linda heard all of this she looked at the quiveing hulk who was all red and looked ready to explode, yep, and that is exactly what happened, his brain busted out the top of his head, and Linda yelled,,I BLEW HIS FUCKIN MIND...she was the first one to use that phrase, she went on to blow many other things besides minds, and don't ever forget You Heard It Hear First On Plain And Simple..Hey there is the huckster outside, selling his wares here at the Ville, GET YOUR FRESH CUCUMBERS, ZUCCINI, BANANA'S!!!, and today I have a special on lozengers...Be back later, man the wind is blowin hard out here today...

Monday, July 9, 2012

Today Is The 9th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

It Is Now Post Time.We're Off...News Flash, we have a new country signing on, one Rhwanda, the whole HOT N' TOT tribe has joined the Ville, they were so happy too see that someone recognized their society and their rites of passing and passion...and they are a very passionate bunch of HOTTIES AND TOTTIES..Today being a Monday and getting close to mid July it is time for a Phillies check...
I being the baseball authority that I am, and resident Simpleton that I am, I made a prediction in April, that the Phillies, would win the division, win the pennant and win the World Series..Through April, May and 1/2 of June, with the DL list staggering to unbelievable, they were still holding their own, they were about 6 games behind Washington, and right around 500...what happened? Implosion, I don't know what happened, heads down, missing balls, bad plays, swinging at bad pitches, really hurting bullpen... everything that can go wrong, especially when there is very small margin for error...Can they do what I said?? Well, I would be remiss, if I retracted my statements, so I will stick with them, because I really can't lose..If they do what I said, I will be a baseball guru with no equal and if they don't, I will just be The Simpleton at the Ville, but in reality if there isn't changes in attitude, changes in latitude very soon, 2012 is going to be a wash out season...Turn it on, sign Hamels..What I really am waiting for is the exodus of the band wagon jumpers..Seven years ago about half those people at the stadium couldn't tell you one player that played for the Phillies, they will be the first too say Adios..
Baseball, Monday, bring anything you like, I gotta get some work done, the Ville is still blazing and still painted up in Red White and Blue kinda like it, kinda looks like my eyes after a VodkaDay...Have fun and welcome to the Ville ....Hebubunko Sallaasmaad...and Imeldisco Comfongolickmo...they are the two leaders of THE HOT N' TOTS....

Sunday, July 8, 2012

TODAY IS SUNDAY, JULY 8TH, 2012 A.D.A FINE SUNDAY IT IS

I know where Simple is today and I am not sure whether is will be checking in or not.......I know is is on remote and also on assignment in his ever ending quest to keep the Citizens of the Ville informed on the most current news events........He will do what ever it takes........He has sent pictures of what he is covering and I am sure he will have a full report upon his return........So fasten your seat belts and hold on because he will be giving us a real rise on this one...........



YES CITIZENS HE IS COVERING THE WEDDING.............He was lucky enough to get an invite......YOU GO SIMPLE ONE............Enjoy and have fun.........Let your hair down  a little and be open..........Dance away..........

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Today is the 7th of July in The Year Of Our Lord 2012

Well no Simple so here I am had at work. But Ive come up with a great Idea. We Can talk about "Sent of a Woman".........Holds  out  my  hands WHAT? okay okay it can be sent of a man ......gheeeeeees  so  sensative smirks. Let me  tell  ya  Ive  run into  some  stinky Bastards  in  my  Day what are they  thinking ? I mean COME ON MAN Ive seen guys that smelled  so  bad  they should  get 15 years for air polution. I  mean  they  must have been  eating beans and  onions cause you talk about tear Gas Damnnnnnnn.And  why Dont lil Girls fart......because they dont  have assholes until they get married haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa a friggin knee slapper God I  kill myself i'm still tee heeing.

       Looks  around  the  room wait  til ya hear this, I  was  feeling  a  lil  horney last  night and  said to my  Baby hey  what you  say  we change positions tonite ?..............she  thought  for a minuet and  Responded  okay you stand in front of the sink and  do dishes, and I'll  lay on the couch in front of the TV and Fart...........throws  up my hands  and  walks  away.

Friday, July 6, 2012

"Today Is The 6th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."



"It Is Now Post Time."
We're Off...Hot N' Tots  have all retreated into their domiciles, all the Hotties are pregnant and await next years Birth Rite Festival.., you say you never heard of that...Oh, I can't believe that.  Good people of the Ville I promise you, that I will bring you up to date on The Hot N' Tots Festival..YEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YEP, COFFEE ON THE NUTS...NOTHING LIKE STARTING OFF A VODKADAY WITH COFFEE ON THE NUTS..WHAT GIRL WOULDN'T LIKE HOT NUTS...I am one Simpleton that would never be lying to a woman if I told her I had hot nuts..If coffee isn't burning them, this economic depression is frying them..I finally have come to a crossroads in my life and as I stare at it I have two ways to go the right way and the wrong way...the people that really know me, know I will take whatever one is the hard one..lol!!! That crossroads thing brought to mind one of the greatest scenes, and acting performance I have ever watched in my lifetime, and I have seen quite a few...
The Movie was Scent Of A Woman..
The Actors were Chris O'Donnell
and one Al Pacino..
Brief summary to the scene I want to describe..Al Pacino was Col. Frank Slade U.S. Army retired because he blinded himself fucking with a grenade..
Chris O'Donnell was a student at the prestigious Baird School, only getting in because he won a contest in Oregon...he is too be Col. Slades escort for a few days of The Thanksgiving Weekend..
Right before the Holiday, Charlie (Chris O'Donnell) sees some of his classmates prank a real jerk off of a teacher one Mr. Trask, by setting up a trap to pour white paint all over the new Jag he just bought. One of his classmates is with him, George, George's father is a big time supporter of the Baird School..Before Charlie leaves for his job. Trask calls him into his office and asks him that beings he was there did he see the guys that did it..Charlie says no, Trask says, think about it all weekend Mr. Sims, I want an answer and a Harvard Scholarship awaits you.
Col. Slade is out to kill himself, but before he does he is going to have one last huge fling in the Big Apple, and somehow coercer's Charlie into going with him..Slade is a bitter and disillusioned soul and is one ugly human being..Charlie is just a young guy trying to make it in this world and get a good education, and he sees his scholarship blowing up in his face...
The antics in the Apple are great,,but they are all leading up to the suicide attempt..Just as Slade is ready to blow his fucking brains out, as he so adeptly told Charlie...Charlie walks in to the room by mistake..and they argue and fight bitterly over the gun, with Charlie saying go ahead you blind mother fucker kill yourself and kill me too because my life is over..Somethin snaps in Slade because, during these times with Charlie his faith in mankind is being slowly restored....
Fast forward to the The Auditorium at Baird School. The whole student body in attendance, Trask at the podium..Disciplinary committee behind him, George and big George on one side and Charlie by himself on the other.
Trask grills George but not bad and George gets away with I didn't have my contacts in, but it looked like Fred Haglemeyer, John Stokes, and Gregory Thompson... rats them all out, but I can't be sure..
Trask turns to Charlie and says, I cannot go by Mr. Trapps testimony,, it is vague and he is not sure. The answer I am looking for Mr. Sims is having to come from you...NOW DIG THIS IN COMES SLADE WITH HIS LIMO DRIVER SUN GLASSES AND CANE..AND GETS LED TO THE STAGE WHERE CHARLIE IS SITTING BY HIMSELF...Charlie jumps up pulls out a chair and Col. Slade sits down...Tras looks over, says, who is the Mr. Simms...Slade, grabs Charlies arm and says. This is Col, Frank Slade, U.S. Army retired..Charles and Mary Sims are dear friends of mine they couldn't make the trip from Oregonne (that is how he says Oregon, makes me smile right now.) today so they asked me to sit in on their behalf..In Lo ca Parenti if you will...Trask:, glad to have you with us Col. Slade  (mother fucker is going to eat those words.) Now, Mr Simms, you are either going to give me the answer I need by identifying the perpetrators of this deed, or the consequences are going to be dire, and by dire I mean expulsion from the Baird School.. Mr. Simms one last chance, because you are a coward and a phony!! Slade yells, BUT HE AIN'T NO SNITCH AND MR SIMMS DON'T WANT ONE LAST CHANCE..Trask looks at him, Pardon Me..NO I DON'T THINK I WILL. (I'll do Pacino in caps) WHAT KIND OF SHOW YOU GUYS PUTTIN ON HERE TODAY.. I WALKED IN HERE , HEARD BAIRD SCHOOL, MAKERS OF LEADERS, MAKERS OF MEN.. WELL YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL OF WHAT KIND OF LEADERS YOU ARE MAKING..WHAT IS IT, BOYS RAT ON YOUR FRIENDS, GET YOUR SCHOLARSHIP AND LIVE A GREAT LIFE, AND THANK THE BAIRD SCHOOL...BAIRD BUMS, WHAT YOU ARE PREPARING HERE IS A SHIP FULL OF SEA GOING SNITCHES. AND FREDDY, JOHNNY, AND GREGORY IF YOUR OUT THERE"""FUCK YOU TOO""" Col. Slade you are out of order!!!!!OUT OF ORDER, I'LL SHOW YOU OUTTA ORDER. WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOUR TALKIN TOO, I BEEN AROUND, YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A TIME I COULD SEE AND I DID SEE YOUNG BOYS, YOUNGER THAN THESE WITH THEIR ARMS BLOWN OFF, THEIR LEGS TORN OFF, TWENTY FIVE YEARS AGO I WOULD TAKE A FLAME THROWER TO THIS FUCKIN PLACE..Col. Slade are you done???!!! OH NO, AHM JUST GETTIN WARMED UP.  I DON'T KNOW WHO WENT HERE, WILLIAM HOWARD TAFT, WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYANT, WILLIAM TELL...THEIR SPIRIT IS DEAD IF THEY EVER HAD ONE. WHAT WE REALLY HAVE HERE TODAY IS GEORGE SITTIN OVER THERE IN BIG DADDY'S POCKETS, AND CHARLIE SITTIN HERE ALONE, GEORGE COULDN'T SEE IT FALLS ON CHARLIE, SO LET'S SEE, REWARD GEORGE AND DESTROY CHARLIE...WHEN CHARLIE IS THE ONLY ONE IN HERE WITH ANY CHARACTER, AND YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW THAT, BECAUSE SOMEONE HERE OFFERED TO BUY IT AND HE WASN'T SELLIN, AND THAT ................THAT IS CALLED INTEGRITY...COMMITTEE IF YOU SEND THIS SPLENDID YOUNG FOOT SOLDIER BACK TO OREGONNE WITH HIS TAIL BETWEEN HIS LEGS YOU ARE DOING A GRAVE INJUSTICE, THERE IS NO PROSTHETIC FOR A BROKEN SPIRIT...HELP THIS YOUNG MAN, THIS IS WHAT LEADERS ARE MADE OF, THIS IS THE HONOR THAT THIS VERY INSTITUTION SAYS IT WAS BUILT ON..NOURISH IT, HE WILL MAKE YOU PROUD SOME DAY.. I PROMISE YOU HE WILL NOT DISAPPOINT YOU....Slade sits down, and says, how ya like that one Charlie...Trask hits the gavel and says the disciplinary committee will now adjourn...evidently that is not necessary..Mrs. Huncicker.....The disciplinary committee has decided that Geroge Meyers will get no recommendations from The Baird School, Mr. Haglemeyer,Stokes, and Thompson are on probation...and as for Mr, Simms..there will be no further discussions and his scholarship stands as announced.....SLADE LET'S OUT WITH THE PATENET OOOOORAHHH!!!!!! In ending my take was, sure Col. Slade finally acted human again by helping a young man live his dream..., but he wouldn't even have been there if that young man, didn't save his life..If you ever saw this movie watch it again, if you never saw it watch it in its entirety it is one of the best..One last thing, I do an impersonation of Col Slade at the hearing, and we are on one of our trips, when the General asks me if I ever saw that movie, well with about 8 vodkas in me at the airport in Florida, I start doing my SLADE,,,walking to get our bags, I mean I am yelling..General he is laughing his balls off, and over comes security, .... The General, says he is just doing the movie Scent of A Woman..the security guy says...OH YEAH!! I LOVED THAT MOVIE...!!! HE IS GOOD, AND STARTS LAUGHING WITH THE GENERAL..I hope you enjoyed this one General, it was for you.......!!love ya pal...
Yeah one of the best..if you have any time today give us some great ,movie lines of course you don't have to do a whole scene like the Simpleton...Sometimes I just get carried away, too much passion...

Thursday, July 5, 2012

'FINALLY FOUND THE GENERAL"

He was at the HOT N' TOTS orgy....

"Today Is The 5th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lords 2012."

It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off...Woke up this morning, and what to my wandering eyes should appear, but a bunch of critters drinking vodka and beer. The Ville was sparkling all red white and blue.. The critters were screaming,,,,.HEY PLAINT AND SAMPLE DIS IST FOR YOU!!!!
Thanks, Sammy, Blat, Slat, The Goat and the MeereKat too.. as for the parrot fuck you...ARK! fuck you too, fuck you too...In reality (yeah right), it wouldn't be a whole lot of critter fun without that annoying bag of shit...
Hi everybody, welcome back from the 4th today be Thirstday and Tomorrow be VodkaDay, yay..You know if you read the top of this post, I am a poet...I have the heart of a barbarian, the blood of the Romans and Nazis,,the body of a young Adonis, and the mind of a fucking nut.!!!!!!
Hope you had a good time in the Ville yesterday, man we are getting a lot of visitors.. In fact the Beuracrats in Blogington, asked me if I wanted to take this Ville to Hollywood...I said sure, but they said it would have to be just Simple.....I told them fuck you, without Plain there ain't no Simple...Whack on my whacky brother...Who loves ya kid..The Holidays bring out the best in me...especially the HOT ones...Little known fact, on this date, before The Year Of Our Lord was even thought of..The HOT N' TOTS, became a tribe..yep, before that there were two distinctly different peoples that dropped from the trees.. The HOTS who got their name because they could survive in the HOTTEST of environments. Their hair was thin and as they evolved,  they shed it very quickly it made them even more acclimated to the HOT climate of the jungle..they were not a large people, but they brought down large prey, because the prey were dying of thirst in the heat.....The TOTS on the other side of the jungle dropped onto the ground and survived and flourished because they were very small, thus TOTS, Yep that is why we call our small children TOTS..The TOTS could actually live under a few leaves and gulp down beatles (John, Paul, George, they didn't like Ringos)..(don't worry General I am getting help soon.) I digress, they also gulped down various other bugs...It was inevitable as evolution took hold in the jungle that these two tribes would meet...The male TOTS , evolved into a chiseled bunch of hunters, very majestic, fast, athletic and man their sexual prowess knew no equal, they grew in stature and uhmmm genitallically (for those of you, I may have lost with that word,, you know their dick and balls)  The HOTS females, well they became the first HOTTIES, and as we all know their breasts, and their legs and well other womanly thingies... were unparrelled in jungle lore......One morning a HOT woman was forraging for whatever the fuck it is you forrage for, and she stumbles into a trap set by a TOT warrior.. Well when he saw her and she saw him, fucking sparks flew to Borneo...He ripped her out of the trap and they were FORNICATING ON THE JUNGLE FLOOR FOR DAYS!! HER SCREAMS AND HIS GRUNTS, brought the other HOT AND THE TOTS running from every bush and tree in the vicintity.. Well when they laid eyes on each other, the first HOT AND TOT orgy was on.. Nine months later on July 5th the first HOT N' TOT was born, they named him TOT N' HOT.. AND FROM THAT DAY FORTH, THE TWO TRIBES BECAME ONE..."THE HOT N' TOTS.. AND IF YOU LIVE NEAR A JUNGLE, YOU CAN STILL HEAR THEIR SCREAMS AND GRUNTS ON THEIR ANNUAL FIFTH OF JULY ORGY........You heard it here first on Plain and Simple...

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

"Today Is The 4th Day Of July (INDEPENDENCE DAY) In The Year Of Our Lord 2012." Y


It Is Now Post Time..
We're Off... Ter,  McMarcher, Babe, Butch, Monk, General, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL??????  Yo guys, come on we gotta get up,, we can't just lay here in the street we will fucking die..E, we don't care if we die, do you know how hot it is...yeah, but we always made the picnic grounds when we were kids..man we only marched to Manayunk and Lyceum, it is still another mile or two to the picnic grounds and free birch beer,,,  We can't make it E it is too far.. Let's just let them find us here..Lookin through the haze, and what the fuck do I see,,YO GUYS LOOK UP, IT IS THE CAVALRY...FLOYD AND DAVE ARE ON HORSES!!!!  YEAH RIGHT, LAY BACK DOWN AND DIE!!!!  YO GUYS LOOK UP,,,FLOYD!!!!!! DAVE!!!!?????????????????//Yep, I remember the year those two came riding down Manayunk Ave. on fucking horses....they said they were going to do it and damn if they didn't,...naturally the only thing that pissed the Simple One off is that I had to ride on the back...What a fuckin crew.....
As Plain had alluded to yesterday, Old Tommy J..yep That Tommy Jefferson dude wrote that Declaration Of Independence, right here in good old Philly Town..not only was Thomas Jefferson one of the greatest Statesman, and Presidents we ever had...He was also one of thee!! GREATEST REVOLUTIONARIES OF ALL TIME....When most people think about Revolutionaries, they think of Che', they think of Lenin, they think of Braveheart...but all of them put together were not the Revolutionary that Thomas Jefferson was..Just let me explain myself a little farther...Up until the time of his writing of this document, Royalty, yep, Monarchy ruled..it was the elite that ruled the masses, they raped, robbed, taxed and worked them to death, and didn't even know nor care that they existed....This was accepted by the Sheople for centuries and centuries,, when out of nowhere comes this dude, saying ALL PEOPLE ARE CREATED EQUAL..Can you see good old king george and the hapsburghs, of Germany, and the romanovs of russia, the dukes, duchesses, princes, and princesses of blue blood power, saying what the fuck did he say..OH YEAH BABY BELIEVE ME HE SENT A SHIVER THROUGH THE HEARTS OF THE RULING ELITISTS, THAT TO THIS DAY SHOOK THEM TO THEIR VERY CORE..I salute ye THOMAS,  for your intelligence, your bravado, your courage to not only tell those ruling classes what was really the rights of man, but by fulfilling that very writing, by having a society, free to vote, free to worship, free to write, free to be who they want to be....I must say in ending Thomas I wish you and your guys were around today to help us out once again., but I have a feeling that the people of this great country will somehow get it on the right path once again...I have to believe that/...I AM AN AMERICAN PATRIOT....AND I LOVE MY COUNTRY AND MY COUNTRYMEN....NOW NO ONE LIVIN CAN EVER STOP ME FROM WALKIN DOWN THAT FREEDOM HIGHWAY, YEAH NO ONE LIVIN CAN EVER MAKE ME TURN BACK, CAUSE ""THIS LAND WAS MADE FOR YOU AND ME"" THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND THIS LAND IS MY LAND FROM CALIFORNIA, TO THE NEW YORK ISLAND, FROM THE RED WOOD FORREST TO GULF STREAM WATERS,,,THIS LAND WAS MADE FOR YOU AND ,, YOU GOT THAT RIGHT WOODY GUTHRIE!!!!!! Pick One or all..have a good night...

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

"Today Is The 3rd Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

It Is Now Post Time...
We're Off...Still runnin, not much time for thinkin, sometimes that's a good thing..I start thinkin and I get myself and a lot of other beings in trouble..Tomorrow being Independence Day, and me not having a tin cup, (I will explain more on that tommorrow...) Today just want to say enjoy the evening, I will be back later with the traffic report on Rt. 70 heading to Long Beach Island on a single lane highway,,You fuckin kidden me....those cars will be backed up to Marlton...and the beat goes on...later, good people..take some good advice and go frolic, how ya like that word...

Monday, July 2, 2012

"Today Is The Second Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

"It Is Now Post Time."
We're Off...Bad times here at the Ville and surrounding regions..Winds, thunder, and lightning, lighting up the old Pine Barrens and Jersey shore, knocke the shit out of our basic services..most people are just now getting their properties up and running..I have been trying for days to peek out of the bunker, but everytime I do, I pop back inside because I think I died and finally drove that bus too hell..Hope to talk to everybody later...It is electricity on electricity off here at the Ville, I hope today it stays on so I can get a whole lot of fun things done, ...lol!! great stuff on the O's signing on at the Ville..did Plain show them around??

Sunday, July 1, 2012

TODAY IS SUNDAY THE 1st DAY OF JULY 2012 A.D.

H



i Hi Plain and Simple......We are so glad we can join your blog.......We have just landed in Philly and we were invited to C.J. and Eck's by a one Flodyd Flaherty for a couple of pints with all you good people in the Yunk.....Floyd said that he could get about $500.00 a plate for a snack with us...And just maybe the one they call Simple with entertain us with a few bars on the Geetar......We will have so much to talk about when we get back to D.C.  I hope we can see that one Finn, a very kind, caring, compassionate fellow .........and  the Plain one for a ride on his trike down Shurs Lane.......Looking forward to your compnay.......B & M