It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off..Hey everybody...R U READY...AH,,,,ONE AND AHHHH TWO AND AHHHHH HUMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! There doesn't it feel better after you hump...I know it does for a Dog..I love those creatures, and I can't blame some of them for being humpers, but it is kinda embarrasing when you are waiting for a date, and her father is sitting there reading the paper while Fido is using the only suit pants you have, as his mating tool...Yep, happened to me, and I know somewhere in her father's black heart he was laughing his fuckin balls off..That is alright, because as they say in the Corps, paybacks are a mother fucker...I stayed over her house one night, and at breakfast the next day, he was eating a bowl of cheerios, when he got up to get a cup of coffee, I slipped a dead fly that I had swatted the night before, into said cheerios...He didn't eat it, but he was aghast and got into a fight with the Mom about where she bought the cheerios...As I was leaving, I knew that I would never see this girl again, evidently in my drunken stupor the night before I told her what I was going to do...I was getting into my car and I heard him scream...HE TOLD YOU WHAT???THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!!....I blew the horn and gave him the finger...She called me that night and told me I was a sick fuck....I said coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment...Oh yeah, and tell your father that rubber he is trying to explain to your mother, is for the Dog...
Yeah, that dating game was tough on the young Simple one, significant other doesn't suit me well..I always thought that if they were going out with me, something had to be wrong with them mentally..thought I was right...., but as the years progressed and I acquired all the wisdom of the ages..UHMMMM...I realize it wasn't them at all.....Come on take a guess, if it wasn't them it was.....................?? YEAH!!! ME!!! You believe that??? Any good date stories today, hell I could talk all day on this subject but some of us have to work....Have a good time whackin your balls today Plain and don't forget to hydrate and water the trees...LATER!!!!!!!!!!1
4 comments:
Talking about dates, today is August 15, 2012; you took us all the way back to tax day. But, being Plain and Simple there are no rules. And what would P & S be without the corrections from me!
Did it yesterday too..what the fuck man..Wait till Plain sees that or that McWhateverhisfuckinameis.
Little known fact: The land where the word Simple originated was supposedly swept up by the sinking of Atlantis, and actually went down below the ocean with Atlantis..No one talked about the land called Simpleilicus, because the people there were Simpletons..unlike Atlantis, where the philosophers, musicians, scientist and other educated people ruled the society..I think it is a shame that no one talked about Simpleilicus, because without Simpltons, how would we know other people are smart we would have no one to compare them too...So to all the so called educated, higher ups with all their degrees in whatever, guess what?? If it weren't for Simpletons like myself, no one would ever recognize your intelligence...You owe us!!!
Well lets see dating stories hmmmmm smiles as I rember this airline stewardess I was dating and she was going to college at night. I walked into the whitehouse Down in my old stomping grounds in Margate.I walked over to her and kissed her on the back of the neck and said Hiya Baby. She screams at the top of her lungs nooooooooooo I wont sleep with you. Everyone in the Place is starring at us so I just walked away embarrassed as hell. I walked to the Bar and got a drink and all the guys are laughing like hell.Then in like 2 minutes she walks over and smiles and says sorry baby. We are studing embarrassing situtations in psychology and I wanted to see how people would react. So I yelled what the fuck you mean 300 Dollars as loud as I could!!!!!!!!! We broke up smirks and walks away.
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