"Today Is The 29th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off.  Mornin, yep, one last indignity last night, I swallowed a fly..This mother fucker, was flying by, that is why they call them flies, just as I was taking a drink of water, and down he goes..that ain't disgusting I don't know what is..I drank a lot of water, and I ate some peanut butter crackers (Keebler's Of Course) in an effort to get my digestive system flowing..I could just see that bastard when those stomach acids got hold of his fuckin wings..I sat there grinning knowing that he was dying and turning into the shit he ate...I HATE FLIES, AND THEIR COUSIN THE MOSQUITO!!I especially hate swallowing them, yep, not the first time..If they had a fly swallower in the circus it would be me, my booth would be right next to the geek..Movin on to today's theme..Yes, siree Bob, those multiple personality disorders...Now we all know "The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde., but a little Plain and Simple take (the real truth and nothing but the truth)...This Jekyll guy, was supposed to be Mr. Nice Guy, well if he was such a nice fucking guy, why did he keep drinking that potion that turning himself into Hyde I'll tell you why deep down he was a narcissitic, hedonist, and liked that shit, and well, fuck everybody else (we all know people like that).Well, that is what Dr. Jekyll did, he kept firing even when Hyde was raping and beating everyone around him..If you really think about it in a logical manner, Hyde was not the bad guy, The Good Dr. Jekyll was.  He knew if he drank that shit, Hyde was Hyding and waiting to get  on his bad,,,, sooooo what did he Jekyll do he drank more..then everybody blamed Hyde..Little known fact.Jekyll liked being the bad tough guy so much that he started to stay in Hydes clothes more than his own..Well the one day when Hyde really went the fuck off and snapped somebody's neck, the cops got there, chased him and shot old Hyde in the ass...When Hyde bit it, the cops started to see a change, he was changing back to Dr. Good Guy Jekyll (not really a good guy)..The cops were astonished,,,,,DRUM ROLL EASY!!!!................ but here is the true version right from the top Bobbiess mouth that shot old Hyde..Once Hyde turned back into Jekyll...Jekyll died, but he turned back into Hyde (thus multiple personalities), now Hyde wasn't dead...He started to lurch up and the Bobbies's were ready to shoot again, when Ernst Bueler McNebb, (Head Bobbie) stepped up and said "HALT"  he bent down and helped Hyde up, brushed him off and, lo and behold, Hyde started to cry, yep, it is on record at Scotland Yard...The Bobbies, not knowing what to do, took him too the police station and he started helping out with clean up duty and jailhouse rocking...After 5 years, they sent Hyde to the prestigious school of Southampton Scientific School For Freaks where he got his PHD and became Dr. Hyde...yes this is all documented..He became a well known Scientist in England,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I wish I could end it there but unfortunately I can't....He then went on too discover a potion that turned him back into Dr. Jekyll..yep, he didn't like Jekyll so every time he turned into Jekyll, he went out and hurt somebody.. Well the cops found out that this Jekyll guy was torturing people up in Yorkshire of Lambert, and when they attacked his home he was gone...POOF!!!Hyde and Jekyll, or Jekyll and Hyde which ever peronality you want to put first,   boarded a freighter and skidded the ocean and wound up in Philly...the last anyone heard, Hyde got a job back in the sixties, and was teaching Science at Roman Catholic, he always had some kind of potion in his desk, I think it was called Jameson's or something like that, no one never heard from Jekyll again, until today.I am sure Plain, Strebor McBoardandNail will have something to say about him..and Ladies and Gentlemen please never forget..........You heard it here first on Plain and Simple....
Bring on all your personalities, I have quite a few......Ernie, are you ready, where is Simple?? what happened to Louis The Lizard??  Keebler you ok, you look like an elf??  OK OK enough./.PHEW WHO READS THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1