It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off..VODKADAY ALERT!! VODKADAY ALERT!! Slow down Simple, Today is the Vodkaday, that you thought about yesterday, that is postponed until tomorrow..That is right, Anniversary Party at ECK"S tomorrow..Only in Manayunk do they have an Anniversary Party every year for the opening of a bar..Gotta love the Yunk..Sooooo, Simple will be a good boy today, and wait to spread his warmth until tomorrow..I even talked the General into getting on deck..LOL!! Maybe McNodrink will show up, he can hang with the Quakers...Monk, Plain, and anybody else that doesn't imbibe. YO!! the Phillies have officially spit the bit..!! Yep, the Simpleton is giving it up..What the fuck happened to this team...I know, I know, injuries, but still 18 games out nearing the third week of August...don't register...Here comes BoreBall, yep that is my new nickname for football...FANS THERE IT IS THE KICKOFF FOR THE 2012 SEASON...WOW!! IT IS A BOOMER AND FREDRICKS TAKES A KNEE...EVERYBODY WALKS OFF THE FIELD, INTERUPPTION FOR ABOUT FOUR CAR COMMERCIALS..5 MINUTES LATER BACK TO THE FIELD...WE HAVE AN INJURED PLAYER DOWN, I CAN'T SEE HIS NUMBER, BUT THE PLAYERS ARE ALL HUDDLED IN PRAYER.....................................................................................................................
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BOOMER, I THOUGHT I SAW A LEG MOVE!! THAT WAS THAT BLONDE DOWN ON THE FIFTY YARD LINE...NO TIME FOR JOKES BOOMER..I WAS SERIOUS, DID YOU SEE THE LEGS ON THAT CHICK WHEN SHE MOVED THEM.........................................................
BOOMER IT LOOKS LIKE HE IS GETTING UP, YES HE IS WOBBLY BUT HE IS WAVING AS THEY PUT HIM ON THE STRETCHER........................THE FANS ARE GIVING HIM A STANDING O!!!!!! COMMERCIAL BREAK FOR CEREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ALRIGHT, WE ARE SET TOO GO, WE HAVE JACKSON FLANKED LEFT, MACLIN FLANKED RIGHT, DOG BOY IS UNDER CENTER....OOPSS THERE IS A FLAG., LOOKED LIKE ILLEGAL MOTION,,NO THE BENGALS WERE OFF SIDES...I DON'T KNOW CAN WE HAVE A LOOK AT THE REPLAY...........................................................................................LOOKED LIKE THE LEFT TACKLE'S RIGHT BALL TWITCHED AND HIT HIM IN HIS ASS, AND HE TWITCHED LIKE A MARE IN HEAT.............................................................................................SO, THEY MOVE THE BALL BACK FIVE YARDS AND WILL START FROM THE 15.................................
DOG BOY UNDER CENTER.....HERE IS THE SNAP.........HANDS OFF TO MCCOY, AND HE IS STUFFED AT THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE FOR NO GAIN..............................................
LOOK AT THE SIDELINE, ANDY FATMAN IS FURIOUS ABOUT SOMETHING, LOOKS LIKE MORNINGWEIG IS EATING HIS TWINKIE, WELL AS LONG AS I HAVE KNOWN ANDY, NO COACH HAS EVER GOTTEN AWAY WITH THIS.............COMMERCIAL BREAK.............................;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;(This fucking shit that used to be football has now been on for an hour, and this is all the action you get..) The television industry and the media in general (WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL), have absolutly destroyed a once, proud and fast moving game, into a boring observation of inane bullshit that takes about five hours of your time....FOOTBALL SUCKS!!!! Later......
2 comments:
Sung too The Tune The Piano Man.
It's eight fifteen on a Vodkaday and I am sitting alone.
There is a MeereKat staring at me, as a goat slowly gets stoned.
Two Slavs come running over the road,handing me Vodka and Beer, I just shake my head no and, say leave me alone a Vodkday has just dissapeared.
Ahhhhhhhh Deeee Daaaaa Laaaa Laaaa Deeeee Daaaadaaaaaaa ahhhh ahhhhh,,DAAAAAAAAhhhh ahh uHMMM,,, AWWWWW COME ON SIMPLE AND DRINK WITH US, WE REALLY WANT YOU NEAR, YOU MAKE US LAUGH, AND UNLIKE PLAIN,, YOU ARE ALWAYS HERE...HERE HERE.........
Go back to your hooch and leave me alone. my hungry wants some beans, my thirsty that is screamin Vodkaday has to wait for the anniversary to get here...
No way you have too wait, the squirrel has found some girls, they are asking where is this famous Simpleton, why is he not here.............
Did you say girls you toeless Slavs, you have girls and beer..You know what I think, it is time to leave the hooch,, maybe Vodkaday is here.....
Ahhhhhhh Deeee Dahhhhh ahhhhhhaa ahhahhhhhhhh So, I leave the bunker and cross the road,, and sure enough their are girls and booze..So I join right in and start singing this song..When they all say what are you doing here..
I told the girls I was Simple, they told me that looked clear, they started to laugh as I heard a parrot ARK!! ARK!! telling me to get out of here,,,,
The critters acted qite surprised, and the last thing that I know,, I grabbed that fuckin parrot and started to choke his throat..... ..the girls were running through the cornfield,, the Slavs were right behind, yelling COME ON BACK WE WILL GET RID OF HIM, you are really fine..
So I grabbed the beer and walked across the road, the meerekat was right behind, Before we hit the rack we'll drink this six pack, and Vodkaday soon will be here....
Just another diddy about Plain and Simple....oh never mind that is a whole different song..WHO THE FUCK SINGS THIS SHIT!!!!
GOODNITE EVERYBODY, LOCK UP THE VILLE, LAY DOWN AND CHILL....TOMORROW IS THE DAY YOU WORRIED ABOUT TODAY, AND TODAY IS THE DAY YOU WORRIED ABOUT YESTERDAY..QUIT FUCKIN WORRYING AND
"STAY OUT OF HARMS WAY MY FRIENDS."
TAPS....
Nice Work.................
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