Saturday, June 4, 2011
Today is the 4th Day of June In The Year Of Our Lord 2011
Top Of the Marnin to ye Lads & Lassies and a fine Marnin it tis nods yep it is If your Reading this your way ahead of the Game. Looks in real close and whispers alot of Peeps did'nt wake up today. Yep sad but true, I dont know where Simple is and I had a rough night did'nt get home from playing cards til 4 am and I just noticed there was no Taps. I was agased right at the moment I think it was from the Taco's we had smirks. I also wonder where Strebor was She does a great Taps and Pat Mc is missing and where the hell is Catey & Sara this is getting scary haven't heard from the General and and Earman throws up my hands wtf is going on here Jimmy Mc left the last Post holds out my hands and wonders am I the Only one left? I saw where there was a Rabid Beaver up in Penntpack Park bitting a bunch of people!!!! Scary shit alot of people walk along the creek up there with there girlfriends and wives and significant other's. And some with all three Yep I know hard to belive! But can ya imagine being up there with your main Squeeze and being attacked By A Beaver. I mean I rember Lil Beaver but Ive seen some Big Beavers too .You could be trying to get some Beaver then get attacked by a Beaver and they also smack you with there Tail so now your getting beaver and getting attacked by Beaver and getting Tail all at once what a crazy world we live in . I'm staying away from Pennypack Park I never thought you would ever hear me say this but I dont want an Beaver attacking me!!!!!Let me know if your out there and if you enjoy a Beaver Attack !!!!!!!!
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Okay Okay I have to give you an update on these Beaver attacks !!!! It's getting more serious than they thought there is more than one Mad Beaver out there. They say it could be any number because where there is one there is usually more ,they don't know how many Mad Beavers there could be. And now there are guys mounting together looking for all kinds of Beaver from all over the Northeast!!!!I talked to one of my Experts on Beaver and he confirms it's true that not only when there is one mad Beaver it usually adds up to more Mad Beaver. And they will attack for no reason at all.So with all these guys hunting For some Beaver they may have to bring in the Natiolal Guard because My expert Cliff Claven says alot of guy's and girls like to Eat Beaver nods yep he said alot wont admit it but they do. And he Confirmed this with Momma Claven!!!! She told him that alot of Guys and Girls aquire a taste for Beaver at an early age and just keep eating it forever. That they never get tired of it. Some say they just like it for the protine others say the more you eat it the harder it gets! Shrugs to each his own I guess who am I too Judge. But I will keep everyone Posted on this Beaver stuff.But I know it's true alot of guys are out there looking for Beaver!!!!!
Wow it's really getting crazy folks but I am abrest of this Beaver I am right on top of it. Now the City of Philadelphia and the EPA are getting involved. They want to knock down all Dams along the Pennypack Creek saying they cause Debris and there should be Permits issued for any Dam Building. I as a Concerned Citizen sent this letter off because I love Beavers.
Dear Sir: I am a corcerned citizen of the City of Philadelphia and I dont think these Beavers would appreciate you calling this Dam project Debris. I belive I can safley say, you could never match their Dam Skills, their Dam resourcefullness, their Damingenuity,their Dam persistence,their Dam Determination and or their Dam work ethic. And I dont think they know they need to fill out a permit prior to this type of Dam Activtity. Yours Truley From Simpleville.
Ha Now the EPA is saying The Dam Beavers are stopping the flow of water Down stream and this is against the law and you could be fined of imprissoned for any attemps to block water from it's normal flow down stream.
I quickley sent off this letter to the EPA
Dear Sirs: I have several concerns 1st aren't Beavers entilted of legal represntation? These Bevers may be destitute and unable to pay for representation. So the EPA and the State should pay for their Dam Lawyer.These Dam Beavers dont cause any Dam Flooding. We should leave the Dam Beavers alone instead of calling them Dam names and saying they make debris and block water flow.If you are going to arrest the Dam Beavers because you want free flow stream conditions contact the Dam Beavers but not by mail, because I dont belive they read much.In my Humble opinion I belive that as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green,and water flows down stream they have more Dam rights than any of us. And if the Epa lives up to it'sname it should protect it's natural resourses. So as far as the Beavers are concerned this Dam Case should be dropped.Instead of elavated enforcement in this Dam case your Dam Staff should go out there and talk to the Dam Beavers because sending Dam Letters to the Dam beavers wont work the Dam Beavers are under the Dam and your Dam Staff should stop Harressing them. In conclussion I would like to bring to your attention a real EPA Health Problem in the Area.It is the Bears. The Bears are actually shitting all over the woods. I definitely belive you would do better perscuting the Shitting Bears than going after the Dam Beavers. So when you investagate the Dam Beavers again watch your step the Shitting Bears dont care where they shit.I am sending this Dam letter to your Dam Office because your dont answer your Dam Answering machine. Thankyou for your Dam time from a Dam concerned Citizen
Glad to see you are on the beaver project. When Simple hears about this he will want to adopt them and include them in his menagerie. You know how much he loves beaver meat. He will have them de-rabitized with Vodka and the Captain Jack. Then we all have another topic of mass destruction in the pines. We will have to name his place Simples Last Chance Ranch. Ergo, stay on the project and keep up the Dam concerned citizen project. Great posts. Simple will turn up soon. Chasing that last Jackpot he has in him.
I am Glad to see your here Jimmy Mc and yes I did get a chance to talk to Simple he called me. He is at or was on his way to Sugar house with Phil The Thrill from Cherry Hill they hit a Jackpot for 3,000 and are trying so hard to give it back. I did let him know about the Poor Beavers and he said he loves Beavers more than anyone and would love to have a few Beavers in the Barrens so I am on my way to Pennypack Creek to find all the Beavers I can. I dont give a Dam what the EPA says I love Beavers too and will get as much Beaver as I can.If Simple stops in tell him I'm on a Beaver hunt like no other time in my life.
He hates Sugar house but it loves him.........He doesn't need anymore animals in his head. He will have rabies soon enough. I'll be looking for him on Action News with that big check. Go get them Simple........
You wont belive this but I ran into Eddie Haskell and he was looking for Beaver Up at Pennypack Creek. He told me he is working as a Fortune teller now but what a ball buster he still is. I was asking all the Beavers to come to the Pine Barrons with me and he kept breaking balls about Beavers and laughing so I dropped him I told the Beavers I am strking a Happy Mediumn. One Beaver said to me my flow is pretty strong what should I do ? I said Dam it and you will be a busy Beaver. They liked my humor like Most Beavers so they agreeded to come to the Pine Barrons and live with Simple and Greeny and Sammy. Its always good to have Beavers around and some extra Tail on hand ya never know when you might need some. anywho it's getting late and time for Taps. So I start hoofing and singing the Partysssssssssssss overrrrrrrrrrr.......turn out the lightssssssssssssssss...........and dont forget to pet your Beaver they like it.
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