Thursday, June 30, 2011
"Today Is The 30th And Last Day Of June In The Year Of Our Lord 2011."
Mornin, got a weird one for ya. Last night at Midnight I did a post on the Bewitching Hour, and why Midnight is such a weird time of day or night, and how the name came to be through witchcraft. I did this whole thing up about Salem and burning witches and how they had covens, and when I went to post it. POOF!! it disappears and I can't get back into the Ville. Had to sleep with the critters, that is another strory. Anyway what does Midnight mean. To me it means the turning of the clock from one day to another. It also mean that on the 31st. of December every year, about 1 million idiots in times square, go crazy because a ball drops and a New Year starts. It is one fucked up tradition. YO!! assholes the reaper just gained another year on your ugly asses..So, let's get back to Midnight. Little Known Fact: In The Year Of Our Lord 1732, at Midnight on the 30th of June, Witches were having a meeting of their coven in Salem, Massachusettes, when all of a sudden it gets raided by Sir Richard Briton, him and his armed guards, start dragging the witches out the door beating them and dragging them off for trial.. One, Emily Brockenbach, escapes out the back door, and she keeps casting the spell on Sir Richard. Well as they were burning the witches at the stake, Sir Richard had a bad case of heartburn (he thought he ate too much plum pudding) and excused himself from the burning of a few more witches. That is the last time any of the people around Salem saw him.. Emily's spell worked and Sir Richard was turned into a goat.. For years after, people around Salem could be heard saying. "I wonder where that old goat went." You heard it hear first on Plain and Simple.. I hope this one posts, if it doesn't, no more talk about witches!! Let's see what your thoughts are on Witches and Midnight.. Midnight at the Oasis. Yeah just about Midnight..!!!!
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15 comments:
Just saw where Chris Bosh had a Birthday Bash at Midnight in Vegas. Among the no shows were one Lebonnie James and Dee Dee'Wade. That threesome lasted real long. I predict no championships for the three of them as long as they are together. Bosh Bash, and the girls don't show. Remember them dancing and clapping hands with smoke all around them. HAH! no championships. You heard it first here at Plain and Simple.
Midnight - loosely translated middle of the night - except that it is the beginning of the morning of the new day.
MIdnight-the hour of curfew on Friday and Saturday nights when we were kids. I understand that this curfew still stands but nobody pays attention to it anymore; except maybe in Darby Borough or Chester.
Witches, oh I've crossed paths with many of these creatures in my lifetime. Cackles and walks away!
They still have a Midnight curfew in Salem, and they all still tell of sightings of a Gray Old Goat walking around town some cold and dreary nights. Most of them think it is just an old wives tale, but those of us that know the story of Midnight and Witchcraft know different. MUHAAAAAHAHHAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Little Known Fact: I went out with a witch once, well maybe more than once, well definitely more than once. Yep, I did. I remember this one time we were really going at it. She called me all kinds of names, and I called her a fucking witch. Well, she shut up and stared at me. She says what is your IQ. I smirked and said I have an IQ of over 160 approaching Mensa, if it is any of your fucking business. She says no more you don't. I said what is that supposed to mean. She says just something Simple. Just remember I said just something Simple, Simple. Yep, that is what happened. Now my IQ is one below Simpleton and that is how I got my name. Beware of these witches!! They will get your ass and throw it in a cauldron. I like that word cauldron. I think I will go explain that too the Slavs, maybe they will do us all a favor and boil themselves tonight...
Hey Blat, Hey Slat, time for a small lesson in English.
Alrighty then, sit down and please listen too what I am going too tell you. Remember I was telling you about witches. YES!! YES!! SAMPLE COOLDER DAN DA VITCHES TITS. Yes correct Blat, Ok, Ok, stop high fiving, and please sit the fuck down. Thank You.. I am going too teach you about cauldrons. They are extra large pots.. Put the fucking joints away please..PHEW!! The witches boil stuff in these pots or cauldrons and cast spells on people. If you two got into one of these cauldrons while the water was boiling, you would lose all that excess weight you are carrying around with you. You would be nothing but skin and bones. I could send the goat out to get me a cauldron and we could boil you tonite.. NO FOOKIN VAY SAMPLE!!! Oh, ah, ah, why not Slat. I HATE DAT FOOKIN GOOT AND DONT TREST HEM!!! VE VONT GAT INDO ANYTANG HE BRANGS BUCK HERE!! SEE YA LETTER SAMPLE. But. but, wait I'll get the cauldron in some other fashion. Drat!!!!!! almost had them......
Ahhhh yes Simple the Salem witch trials of 1692 they actually hung 19 witches in those first trials 13 of them Woman, nods thats why they say 13 is a Covan of witches! The other 6 were men yep yep I know what your going to say but they weren't called Warlocks yet , it was after that.And these trials all started because a 6 year old girl was poisend by a fungus on Rye Bread.An Indian slave named Tituba who didn't speak English real well,Was pressured into saying that Satan made her do these things and thats how it all started so there were sheep and stupid people from the begining of time.
Hey Simple I too went out with a few witches. I met this one down the shore In Maloneys one summer she told me she was a witch!I said no shit , thats really something I'm a warlock she looked at me with a discusted look you know the fuck off creep look.(I'm sure you know that look) anywho she goes can't you do better than that line. I said sure I could as a matter fact I'm dating twin witches my problem is I don't know which witch is witch, but we are all Broom mates!With this she cracks up and we spent the summer of 69 together was a nice long term relationship lasted three weeks
Midnight..2400 hours.....The time when Pension checks, Social Security, Unemployment, Pay checks, bills paid on line, auto matic withdrawls. two hours until closing at your local Pub, many important things happen at midnight. A new day begins, and it could be the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. Dec.31/Jan.1 is definitely a night to stay in at Midnight. That is Amateur night. Tell the creatures again about the witches song:
Double, double, toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble
Double, double, toil and trouble
Something wicked this way comes.
So all in all it isn't a bad time. Just watch your back around 11:59.
UHHHHH! UHHHHHH! witchy woman."EAGLES" Hey Plain you might be a warlock. I kinda see that in you. If you are why don't you come through the Ville and boil a few Slavs or a parrot or any of these fucks.
Midnight hmmmmmm it is a lil Known fact Simple that midnight is the transition time period one day to the next, the moment the date changes. In Roman timesystem midnight was halfway between sunset and sunrise, varying according to the seasons of course. And all this talk about witches reminds me of back in school when the professor ask how many of you belive in Ghosts and most of the class raized there hand,then he ask how many of you seen a ghost, or thought they did and about 20 raised there hand then he ask have any of you ever had sex with a Ghost and this one guy in the back raised his hand! The proffessor goes wow this is a first you have to come up here and tell us about it. As the kid is walking forward everyone is starring and the professor goes I cant wait to hear about this having sex with a ghost!And the kid now real close stops and says GHOST oh shit i'm sorry I thought you said Goat.
Yes Simple I am a Warlock,and Ive been with many witches and quite a few dogs in my day I guess you can say I went from WAGS to Witches!!!!!!!!haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaawe spent a few nites in motel 6 and called Broom service haaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaa Some of these Witches cam keep ya up for a spell haaaaa haaaaaaaaaa The one witch told me I knew you since I was a lil Girl, I told he I know you GRUESOME haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ohhhh chit call 911 i'm friggin dying here haaaaaaaa OWL see ya later haaaaaaaaa haaaaaa
"After Midnight" cackles, gets on my broom and flies away.
WOW Plain, like I said sometimes you amaze me.. On that note, let me catch one of these brooms that are flying through here right now, and sweep all this magic and macabre under a cauldron. Critters are quite probably getting ready for the big Holiday Weekend. That's right it is here, the Second one of summer, enjoy. Let the party begin tomorrow. Until then "Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends." TAPS..............................
I ain't ending this one on 13 comments. No fucking way. This post erased on me at midnight last night. That was not a joke that happened.
See you all tomorrow..
TAPS..............................
POOOOFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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