Tuesday, March 8, 2011
"Today Is The Eight Day Of March In The Year Of Our Lord 2011 Without A.D. Because In The Year Of Our Lord Designates A.D.."
Mornin, has spoken, remember that stupid song. Gotta get non-thinkin and just wingin..The World and America never cease too amaze me. Once again the Libyan situation, violence flaring bullets loadin, Obama, (The Colonel said, Who Dat??) told Kadaffy Duck to step down, they are contemplating, no fly zones, and any other type of military means too knock him back too his tent. PAUSE, I know and they know that he is a no good prick, but they have known this for years. He supported cowards, he even was responsible for some of the worst cowardly acts perpetrated on the World. We bombed his ugly ass into submission, and he shut up, calmed down and started enjoying his billions. PAUSE, DEEP BREATH. Now, we want him out because a slew of other cowards copied Egypt and the rest of those idiots, and are on the warpath, so let's help them. PAUSE.. HOW DO WE KNOW WHO THEY ARE?? We got that dirt bag under control.. These morons all hate us..STAY OUT OF IT, AND WHILE YOU ARE AT IT LOWER THE FUCKIN GAS PRICES, BEFORE WE START MARCHIN ON YOUR ASSES. Sickening as usual.. I hate to start the day off at Plain and Simple like that, but I know you are all fed up as much as me. You know it will lighten up around here, as soon as me and Plain (WAKE UP)!! catch that rodent.. We are going back to Gitmo and interrogate him, and find out how and why his tree bit the dust, and if it made a sound.. Anything else that is buggin you, bring it on, we will solve it for you, or make you sorry you brought it up.. Two things on the agenda today besides 10 hours at the shop. Catch Sammy, and get McCool workin down South, he just went there for a vacation.. Bring on all your astute observations and bloated opinions, much like my own. I'll be waitin to here from all you, as Plain so well put it, batty people. I think he did that because his Batman impersonation didn't go over too well..WAKE UP PLAIN!!!!!
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Where The Fuck Is The General???
We sent bombs raining down on Kadaffi's tent years ago because we had a president who stood up to defend and define the greatness of America... not one whose sole purpose in ofice is to totally destroy the freedoms of America and her people.
Thought for today ....."Be Nice to your Kids, they chose your Nurshing Home'
choose too
Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday)! Do you remember the great Mardi Gras dinner and show held at St. J's every year? I performed in many of the shows tap, tap, tapping, just like Earman and the late great only Mr. Bojangles; also did a little pirouetting in my ballet slippers. Oh those were the days!
Right on Mr. Pat Mc with your words about our less the illustrious president. Unfortunately, we will be involved due to "oil". Simple, I think for Lent that you should give up trying to catch Sammy. He's going to be the ruination of you. Every year when I was a kid my dad used to say he was giving up sky-diving for lent. I think that's what I'll give you this year. Yo Phil fans, what's with our man, Chase Utley. Hey General, Simple wants to know where the f are you.
Hey Plain, how about if we find some magic elixir (I already have), and we choose their nursing home. Maybe it is the other way around, maybe they should be nice to us. Hey Mchugh, just saw where they had a recall on Skippy Peanut Butter, it is causing salmonella poising. That is great to know, I was licking it off my fingers yesterday.. That rodent is going to hospitalize my ass.
Kadiffi is so dumb he only made himself a Col. And since we bombed him he has been living in a wigwam one nite then a teepee the next night this has been going on for years now........His Phychiatrist figured out he is two tents.......slaps my knees laughing and walks away
You gotta be shittin me. Today is Shrove Tuesday, my oh my TIME does fly.. Along with Bats, Birds a fuckin, that bird earman was lookin at wondering what it was thinkin, Peter Pan, and Tinkerbell, and last but by far, not least, Sammy flyin across the forrest, and any other flying freaks you all have brought into the ville.
Simple you forgot to mention one of the Greatest singers ever Jiminy Cricket.....who could forget when he sang ......When you wish apon a starrrrrrrrrrrr makes no differenceeeee who you areeeeeee, brings a () to my eye everytime I hear it
I'll be back the Monk , Babe and I shall be hitting golf Balls, keep the ball rolling and just rember.........How much joy I bring here especially when I leave the room !
What is gas cost down there in Philadelphia?
Filled up two cars yesterday up in NH at $3.42.
Gas in Phila. ranges from 3.49 to3.55.
Strebor... I travel somewhat a lot and I have this on my phone... not to exact point specific but helpful at times to save a few cents per gal.
www.gasbuddy.com
Pat,Upper bucks County at $3.41....Any snow up there? We are expecting a ton of rain starting Wed night and Thur. Some saying up to 3-4 in. Can't wait......Lucky no flooding for us. No golf ball hitting for the boys.....Just pleny of mud when my two dogs start chasing Sammies all over the place. Simple, if you need some help get some dogs. They love Sammies. Talk to you when I get back.
Thanks for all the advice about Sammy, nowhere in the history of mankind has such a varmint, well may Bugs, caused such a furor among the populace. Him and that BAC SL and Sweetheart will be caught. It may take 10-15 years, but they will be caught. Yo, can you see Plain, Monk and Babe hitting golf balls. I would love to be there filming that event. Moe, Larry and Curly have nothing on those three...
I'm telling curley(Babe) his lil Friend will be crushed.
And that varmit Sammy had nine lives,You sure it's a squirrel,he's a lil smarter than your average bear. I had him corned last nite in a tree and he flew out of it.
It reminds me the first time my Dad took me squirrel hunting he told me be quiet i'll be on the other side of the field....well I was there like 20 minutes and let out this scream Dad comes running back and said what the hell I told you to be quiet.....I said I was when the snake crawled over my leg and I was when this black bear came like 5 feet away.....but when these two squirrels ran up my pant leg, and one said should we eat them now or take them to go I panicked
Barrack Obama was touring the countryside in his chauffeur-driven limo. Suddenly, a donkey jumps out onto the road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Obama says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check, you were driving.' The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.
'You were driving; go and tell the farmer,' says Obama.
Hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face.
'My god, what happened to you?' asks Obama.
The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle
of whiskey, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me.'
'What on earth did you say to them?' asks Obama.
'I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them, 'I'm Barrack Obama's chauffeur and I've just killed the jackass.
Lolllll Love it Dan.
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Stumblin out of the boonies, fell over a dead tree, hit my head on a rock, nice lump.. Squirrel was sittin on top of the tree eatin one of Plains nuts from when he was a kid. Squirrel just kept eatin and laughin, as I sorta came too, I saw it was SAMMY!!! Little bastard your going to Gitmo!!!!!!!1
Tired of the Sammy sagas. Do I win a car for the following even tho it is 2 days late?
ACDC
Beatles
Chicago
Doors
E. St. Band
Foreigner
Genesis
Hanson
Inkspots
Jackson Five
Kiss
Lynrd Skynrd (spelling ?)
Metallica
Nitty Gritty Dirt Bank
Oak Ridge Boys
Poison
Queen
Rolling Stones
Supremes
Temptations
U-2
Vandellas (and Martha)
Wilson-Phillips
Xavier Cugat Band
Yardbirds
ZZ Top
Secret word - istab - Simple istabbing Sammy as we speak, I hope!
Don't get tired on Plain and Simple. This shit just keeps rollin on. I will catch this varmint... More people signin in. More the merrier, or did somebody already use that one. Strebor, you have to see Plain about any prizes. I don't give anybody anything. McHugh gave me salmonella poisining with skippy peanut butter that is all I ever go around here.. Strebor did you sign up??
Plain and Simple went shopping at the local supermarket. They watched a lady select:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of lettuce,
A 2 lb. Can of coffee and
A 1 lb. Package of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, Simple standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, Simple calmly stated --'You must be single.'
She was a bit startled by this proclamation, but was intrigued by Simple's intuition, since she indeed had never found Mr. Right. She looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about the
selections that could have tipped off Simple to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of Plain and her, she said, 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?'
Simple replied -- 'Cause she's ugly.'
Simple that was just Plain mean
Yep. And if I have to see Plain about prizes I know the good Jedi Knight will bestow a good prize; or maybe not. Love you guys!
I believe I found the solution to the problem in Libya:
They want a new Muslim leader, I say, give them ours.
Win - Win Situation.
Layin on the ground, camouflage rag on my head, holdin the string in my hand. Big gob of peanut butter, that causes salmonella poising, under the cage, and here comes Sammy, smilin, waging his bushy tail, nose twitchin. Aw he smells the skippy, he crawls on over sticks his hand in the trap. Can't quite reach it can ya Sam? In a little further, atta boy Sam.. Jumps in smashes his face into the crunchy bait, and I pull the string, trap drops Sammy snarls, and it is off to Gitmo for interrogation tomorrow my squirrely friend, no you cannot see Samantha tonight you little pervert. How many times a week do you need it.. PHEW!! This is gonna be a tough nut to crack Plain... Plain, Plain, where are you Plain??
Your next BAC SL and where is sweetheart?? We're gonna getcha!!!
After countless encounters with second rate Acme rocket products, anvils falling on his head and short fused dynamite sticks blowing up in his hands... Simple E. Coyote finally catches his long running elusive quarry.
Mr. Pat you are right I caught the glorified rat.. Now the fun begins. I know Plain knows squirelles and he thinks we are going to wring the little fellas neck.. No Way. I just wanna ask him a few questions about the old tree fallin in the forest and about the accusations that him and his kind are second rate citizens compared to the almighty Puxatawney Phil.
Ok you young and old rascals and rascalettes. It it time for the old Lullaby of Broadway here at Plain and Simple. Had another big hit day, hopefully some will sign on and become a real citizen here at Plain and Simple Land. Plain I will catch up with you tomorrow. We will have to be together to do the interrogation, I am sure he will fess right up, once he takes a look at us. That be about it. Nother day done.. Stay out of harms way my friends. TAPS
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