Wednesday, June 29, 2011
"Today Is The 29th Day Of June In The Year Of Our Lord 2011."
Mornin, WOW!! June is rolling to an end. Slow down you move to fast, gotta make the mornin last.. When I was a kid if June went this fast I would have been in Memorial Hospital with an Anxiety Attack. Summers seemed to go slower then.. Well, as a matter of fact, everything seem too go slow even when I was in St. John's Parochial Prison For Boys, those days when by like years. I remember being tortured by the bell ringing every hour. I would wait, and wait, wait, wait some more then the bell would ring twice, and I would be like whoa, that should have been three rings, did I miss one. Hey Uncle Tom (One Tommy Higgins) was that only two bells. SMACK!! Tst Tst. That Tst. was the sound that Sister Jap Nose made out of her mouth, when she was pissed what a Nazi she was. Mr Keebler stand up. SMACK!! Tst Tst. How many times do I have to reprimand you during class to keep your mouth shut. Tst Tst, I don't know, I'll take a shot and say 30. SMACK!! Keep quite if I come over here again, you stay on this side of the curtain for another week. That is right she had a curtain, and myself, naturally Uncle Tom and John Russell were permanent residents. Like I gave a fuck.. I just sat by the opening and everytime she turned her miserable habit too the blackboard, I sprayed her with spit balls and so did everybody else. Curtain boys and classmates alike. What a wonderful year. Hey if you have any recollections of trouble in school let me here them? That is a really stupid question. Have some fun. I know it wasn't fun then, but we can at least laugh at it now.. Be back.
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Let's see playing school here in the summer. That makes no sense whatsoever, but then again neither do talking squirrel mascots. Slavs that can't learn our wondrous language. Annoying ARKIN!! parrots. I hate that fuckin parrot. Drunken goats. AH HATE DAT FOOKIN GOOT!! MereKats staring at people, and all these critters now getting into baseball. So, do some school work in June, no bitchin Plain, you just keep on whackin. By the time you are my age you will have whacked your balls so much that you won't have any left, or right. Ha haahha hahah!! Sometimes I crack myself up. NO!!!NO!!!! Slat!!! quit crackin your head against Sams tree. Your gonna kill yourself. On second thought, that's it Slat, harder, yep, that's it. A little harder.. He's getting up. HOWT VAS DAT SAMPLE, HUH!! I CRUCKED MY FOOKIN HAD OOP!! Hey Slat you need a band aid, well in fact you need stitches and a bandage, but I gotta hand it to you my man, look at the dent you put in that mighty oak. What a battering ram for a head you got. Slat Slatovich you are the man.
Knock, Knock,!! Who's there? Sam. Sam Who? Sam the Mascot you Simpleton. Oh!! hold on a minute Sam be right there. Pull the tarp back, what's up Sam? GRRRRRR!!!! What are you going to do about these fucking Slavs? Why? What did they do now? Slat put a dent in my tree GRRRRRR!!! Well, I know I am the resident genius here, but why don't you take it up with Slat?? The goat took him to the hospital GRRRRRR!! Well we won't see him for awhile the nearest hospital is about 60 miles away. So, go enjoy your day you little fuck and leave me alone. SLAM!!! GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
Yo, everybody!! Citizens, People that visit, you ain't gonna believe this shit. Yeah you will, because I can't make it up. We had our first advertisements here at Plain and Simpleville. You ready for this. Drum Roll Easy..........
They were advertising you ready Drum Roll Easy.....................
Where to buy GOATS MILK!
Where to buy GOATS CHEESE!
Where to buy GOAT PENS!
Where to buy GOATS!
A Book On How To Breed Goats!
You gotta be fuckin kidding me. No it was right here on Plain and Simple. Amazing.. Next thing they will be advertising is free dances with JLO!! or how to teach a Slav the English Language.LOL!!!!!
Wow...........Tommy Higgins....I sat next to him for a while and had a blast. He was one funny dude. He kept calling my Spot because of all my freckles....He thought that was funny.......Joey Riley was one wirey little kid too. Fran Ludwig....playing Buck-Buck out in the school yard with them was brutal.Is Pretzel Park still there with that underground passage way still there or did the Yuppies build on that too? I caught something on the news last night about St. John school yard but I didn't get what happened. Did you and Plain try to blow it up? Also remember Fr. Farrant taking us to Atlantic City with the luck of the draw. 4 of us at a time until the whole class went down. He was one of the good ones. So many good memories along with the bad.......But we weathered the storm pretty well.....we had no choice...LOL
Pretzel Park, still there, handball and stabbings. The underground passage, probably still there, although I haven't been through there in years. Smelled like urine all the time. I think this is what happened at St. John's yesterday, they had to do some masonry repair work and to do it they had to remove some of the fencing, and somebody stole the fencing.. Isn't that just wonderful. Lets rob the skeleton of a once proud parish. I don't want to say this, and I know a lot of people don't want too hear it, (and in reality neither do I), but I think sooner or later they are going to take down St. Johns. I don't know about the church, but the other buildings will be relegated into some kind of rental properties, either condos or offices or something of that nature. It will be a sad day in the Yunk if they remove or try to remove that church, I would suppose along with most of the other churches. The schools except for Holy Family are all closed as of now, and have been. It is not the same, and it never will be the same as when we all grew up in that town.
Hmmmmmmm I was a Model student and never got in trouble. All i know is everyone around me did they had to hold there Books in the back of the room.It went on for years. I was only Bad in Miss Knights room because she put me under her desk, what a punishment that was. Then finally Sister Joseph Delordes said there is something wrong with this picture Mr. Morris why is it everyone around you is laughing all the time?And you sit there and never smile except when I look at you.So what does she do ? Puts me next to Thomas Mc Coog, Eugene Howley and Joseph Mc Keever, they they were up for Pope, Valadistorian, and Sala what ever it is smirks they lasted like 50 seconds they were holding books in the back of the Room crying.Now in high school thats another story I came into my own. I may still owe them Detentions , I'll get back to ya on that, i'm in the middle of the Pine Barrons with my laptop.
I do rember when a one Jungle Jim Keenan was caught fighting At Roman and back then you were suspended until you brought your Parent in. Well Jim went and shot Pool for a few hours then paid a Taxi driver 10 bucks to act like his Dad. The guy even smacked him, when Father Maloney walked out of the room Jim told the guy dont try and win an Oscar you fuck head, cause you smack me again were both being thrown outta here!
I just love that story Now Simple before Strebor tells you we did this before, smirks.
Simple what say we get some 40's and go up the Brothers on Tower Street and sing a few songs. I'll get Bufflo , Floyd, Buth , Babe Monk, Dave. Maybe Joe Colavickie will even come out and Play the Drums.........OHHHHHHHHHH when the sun beatsssssssssssss down and hits the tarrrrrrr up on the rooffffffffffff and your tired feet get so hottttt you wish your feet were fire proofffffffffffff......slides a 40 in a brown paper bag and takes a hit........walks down to Ridge and Cathedral and Hangs out with the Elvis dude.........hands him my 40 to take a hit and pulls out his six gun and twirls it around my finger. Puts my arm around Elvis as we sing you aint nothin but a Hound Dog, waving at all the cars beeping there horn......there all saying we are number one.......yea there holding up there middle finger!!!!!!showing the number one sign.
Love all those ideas Plain. Did anybody hear me, No. 1 I don't care if we did anything before, we can do it again, because with our infinite wisdom we can estrapulate upon any subject.
No. 2 THEY ARE ADVERTISING FOR GOATS MILK, CHEESE, PENS AND WHERE YOU GO TO BUY GOATS, AND BOOKS ON HOW TO RAISE THEM!!! HELLO THERE EVERYBODY, SOMEBODY THINKS WE ARE RAISING GOATS OR SLAVS OR SOMETHING OF THAT NATURE. What the fuck does plain do grabs a gun a forty and starts singing under the boardwalk. On a blanket with my baby there I'llll be uneder the boardwalk out from the sun under the boardwalk we'll be havin some fun under the boardwalk BOARDWALK... On the boards you hear the happy WAIT!! A FUCKIN MINUTE. WE ARE BEING INVADED BY GOAT LOVERS AND PLAIN GOT ME SINGING aahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OKAY this is getting my Goat who is adversitizing on are Blog about Goats?I'llk RAm them sob's is their trying to pull the wool over are eyes. And how much are we getting Paid?wooley bulleyyyyyyyyyyy wolleyyyyyyyyyyy hey hey wait wtf who is Advertizing???????
Strebor ain't sayin' nuttin' because, yes we did this before.
Giggles and says good-night!
Looks like we did this before. I got more important Slavs too teach. I don't know who is advertising. I just know they got Plains Goat. I wish they would come get this goat. He just got back with Slat. Slat said the hospital was too fart or far or something of that nature.. I gotta wait until tomorrow too see if they advertise again. You all can wait until tomorrow too see if we already did it, and guess what?? I am going back and making sure I put a post up that we already did. Sooner or later you are all going to join me and either forget or not give a shit what we do. I for one want some Goats Cheese and don't care about nothing else right now..
NONE OF YOU!!! NONE OF YOU!!! ARE GOING TO GET MY GOAT!!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!! WE ARE UNDER ATTACK FROM GOAT POACHERS, AND YOU ARE ALL WORRIED ABOUT WHETHER WE DID SOMETHING AGAIN!!!! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT WE DID IT AGAIN AND WE MENTIONED PRETZEL FUCKIN PARK AGAIN, AND THE BROTHERS FUCKIN HOUSE AGAIN, AND NO, NO, NO, NONE OF YOU WILL GET MY GOAT!!!!! Unless of course you really want him..
No thank you, don't want any of those critters. The rat with the tail would be gone, gone, gone, fed to a boa constrictor. The flying rat would be shot out of the sky. The goat would be back at the bar where he belongs. Come Mere so I can show you the way back to Africa. Blat & Slat would be on their way back to Slavikia who wherever the hell the slavs are from. Shakes my head and backs away.
Sure back away Strebor and for your information none of them are going anywhere, the one son-of-a-bitch smashed his head into pulp and he is back.. The goat left came back with some 40's as Plain would say and they are out there rockin on hump day, too welcome in Thirstday.. I like that Jimmy Mc. Thirstday.
Well a little Phillies News as if you already didn't know, the young guns came through, Worley, Stutes, and Bastardo (with a name like that he belongs out here). Gave up one run against a very good Boston baseball team. Phils are a rollin.
Let's wrap up another school day at the end of June. Maybe we will do it again tomorrow, and you can all talk about Goats, and singing, and drinking, and parks, and whatever you feel like. What the hell that is what this is all about anyway.. I must say this is a not a June swoon, the Ville will be back with a vengeance. I just don't know when.
Come Mere!! No Simple. I am partying with the critters tonight. Hattoona Matada..HADOONA MADDADDDADA SAMPLE!!!! GRRRRRRR!!! NAAHHHH!!!NAHHHHHH!!!MORE BOOZE!!!!! ARK! ARK!! GOODNIGHT YOU SIMPLTON, GOODNIGHT YOU SIMPLETON!!! Head in my hands, don't know how much more I can take, I'm starting to quiver, like an arrow in a bow. I think I might be losing it. I'm peeking outside right now.. They all have their hands on each others hips in a tango line. kicking out one leg then the other. I think Greeny might be a girl.. Can't be. I gotta rack out.. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Didn't work the music just got louder, bottles are breakin. I am definitely loosin it.. "Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends. TAPS.....
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