Mornin, Happy Anniversary..Yeah, this is a day that I will never forget..Mine and Bobby Hanson's first day on Parris Island, yep 47 years ago and I can still remember the smell of the wooden barracks..See me and Bobo, planned this out well..We figured we would leave in August, this way we do the twelve weeks on PI and the and the four weeks at Geiger (Infantry Training Regiment), and be home for Christmas 1964.. Pretty good plan for Simple and More Simple..except we forgot to factor in, the heat quotient on the Island in August, plus hatching season for sand fleas, which I never knew existed until I had too bury three of the mother fuckers, for swatting and killing them, while their hordes attacked me even more.. Yes another wise decision in the life of a Simpleton. I honestly don't know how anybody stands me. I can't stand me, but I got no choice but too hang with me.. It is the Plains of the world that should examine their conscience..Then again who would hang with them..In all sincerity, it would be an honor for anybody too even know my friends. The greatest bunch of men I have ever met..Except for Plain..Only kidding on that one..You ain't finding anybody better than my Main Man Plain..To me they are all equal, yet distinct in their own way., and there are many days that just thinking about that friendship has gotten me through some really rough times..Love My Brothers.. One last thing on that note. Wherever you are Bobo, God Bless Ya Pal..
OK, enough Parris Island..Onward we move. Yeah the critters are still sleeping, not from working, from boozing, it was quite a site watching them dancing in the rain last night, slugging the Captain, and slipping and sliding in the mud.. They finally crashed around 1 AM. Except for Billy he carred on Nahhhhhin and a Yahhhin, until about 5 AM I was ready to put a round up his hairless sore looking ass, but he was too hilarious too shoot.
Today we are going too do the words that are spelled differently, but sound the same and have different meanings.. I know they are oxymoron's (no comment Plain), or something of that nature. I am sure teacher Strebor knows... Here are a few from the Great and Wondrous Simpleton of the Ville..
Plain, a nut that fell to earth, many moons ago, grew up in Manayunk, and resides in the upper part of Roxborough, all you citizens here at the Ville know him well..
Plane, something you fly around in.
Plane, a straight line.
I can't wait to teach these Slavs some these babies tonight..
Hair, that fuzzy shit that used to be on top of my head, now it is growing out my ears..
Hare, You know those fuzzy things that hop around the Ville and eat all the home grown lettuce. Most people refer too them as rabbits..
Nose, PLAIN as that thing you breathe out of in the middle of your face.. Some are small, some are rather large and protruding, I think it has to do with your gene's.
Knows, Like us here at the Ville. We knows everything, especially spelling, sentencing, and a profound mastery of the Kings English.
Bring some more on when you visit.. Gotta make a WaWa run...
20 comments:
Good Morning P & S, hope you have a good one. Tired of the rain/reign yet? Yep my first HOMONYM was used in the preceding sentence.
air-heir
poor-pour
write-right
mere-meer (not really)
not-knot
More later!
GO PHILLIES!
ad-add
be-bee
see-sea
for-fore-four
more-Moor
Philly-filly
I'm going to a SALE today to purchase my new SAIL boat. 50'
I'm taking a BREAK from putting new BRAKES on my truck.
I'm going to the MAIL box to see if I received any news from my MALE
friends about the old work place.
I'm going to the RITE Aid and get some paper to WRITE a letter to the WRIGHT Bros. an tell them they were RIGHT, men can fly.
I'm am going to the USS New Jersey and look the watch Captain in the EYE and say AYE Sir. I will do that , yep.
I'm am going to the Walnut Lane Club around FOUR and look FOR Plain
yelling FORE on the first hole.
Damn I have a very busy day today. I better get going.
Strebor, Simple will get upset if you don't put them in a sentence. Like he wants all his songs sung.
He would like you TO put your TWO words into a phrse. He might not get Too mad at you because you are blood.............LOL
knows , nose and ya forgot No's blows on my hand and rubs me fingers on me chest.
1No one belived how much produce my garden produce.
2 How long do live plants live /
3How can you resume work without a resume?
4 She was so close I couldn't close the door.
5 The incense incensed me.
I have to put them in sentences?
The HEIR had a snobby AIR about him.
The RAIN came down during the REIGN of Louis XIV.
POUR some water for the POOR and thirsty.
Did you WRITE your name RIGHT on the line?
Is the MEERkat or c'MERE still looking in the mereor?
That is definitely NOT a square KNOT.
Let's ADD a new AD to our commercial.
BE careful that the BEE does not sting you.
I will be waiting FOR Plain to yell FORE on the FOUR hole.
Say no MORE to the MOOR.
PHILLY baseball or FILLY races, what's your choice?
Did you HEAR me, put that vodka bottle down HERE!
And, then there is the TALE of the goat running down rte. 206 with his TAIL between his legs.
Plain, I'm not chastising you but we are doing homonyms, that is words that are spelled differently but sound the same; not words that are spelled the same and mean something else, but that's okay as there are no rules here at P & S. Your no's, nose and knows were good ones tho! Love ya!
Oops forgot one! I can SEE the SEA from here.
Slaps my forehead with the palm of my Hand. Strebor you mean like.
Breaks, Brakes
pear, pair,boobee,booby
cell, sell
to,too,two
there, their,they're
lead,led
Plain, you are soooooooooooo smart!
You get an "A" today. But, according to J. McC you have to put these homonyms in sentences.
Naaaaaa ahhhhhhh Strebor there aint no Rules !!!! Simple made that rule right off......Omg thats a rule ! that there aint no rules, stands there with my hands out and jaw dropped, how can we have rules if there aint no rules ? And one other thing what the hell am I talking about ?
Wait (Weight) a minute. This place is really fucked man..I am the one that said they were Oxymorons not Plain or Plane or whatever his name is.. Me.. ME, ME, ME, ME...Homonym, Hormone. Hey you know how to make a Hormone, don't pay her...
The Doe Hoe walked into the forest and BAMbee didn't have enough Dough to pay her, so he made a Hormone. Get it..HA! AHHHAAHAHHHAAAHHHAHA!!! Oh shit man, this place is killin me. HAAJAJJJAJHAHHAHLAHJAL!!! Ah shit man this place is killin me.. OK, OK, OK, Simple calm the fuck down.. There are you ok.. Yeah Yeah, just sometimes I crack myself up. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! Get the fuck off of me Blat, no my back don't need crackin and I don't need to be up in the air. Pulleeeeze leave me alone..
Tea for the Toads after they tee up their balls together, they have a spot of tea together..Sometime you can hear them going tee hee...
My ass is grass baby!!!!
UHM let me think..
Did Neil Armstrong Kneel down when he walked on Jackie Gleasons face...
If twelve inches = a foot and somebody with a twelve inch foot kicks you in the ass, you can have a foot up your ass..OUCH!!!
Who said the wise old owl only says HOO!! on Halloween?? That is bullshit.
If the night has a thousand eyes, how many eyes did the knights of the round table have. 24.. Not counting King Arthur who was tailing Geneviere, because she was a Whoin with Lance HOO had a lot.... So they say in the day of old when knights were bold and toilets weren't invented, they left their load along side the ROAD and RODE away contented.. You heard it here first on Plain and Simple.
I just READ my comment and made myself RED..Some of that shit I WRITE, is just not RIGHT. It is just PLAIN crazy.. I gotta get checked.
I made out with the Maid, but i'm not teling ya Whos smirks.
Ain't doing no more sentences:
rap-wrap
aunt-ant
flour-flower
hour-our
hay-hey
berth-birth
dear-deer
eye - I
buy-by-bye
bread-bred
meat-meet
pain-pane
berry-bury
blew-blue
bare-bear
arc-ark
site-cite-sight
sole-soul
and, that's all/awl folks!!!!!!!!!
There is always one or two................LOL
Right on J. McC - one/won - to-too-two.
To, Two, Tootsie goodbye,, To, Two, Tootsie don't cry..
I'm sick of this shit..Hey Blat Slat, get those beams off of that goats back, they go across the top of the ARK. ARK somebody say ARK..ARK somebody say ARK!! just you Greeney.. Mere your painting over the portholes. I know Simple, I keep seening that other Mere Kat in them. You know the one with the dick.. Oh yeah, ok Mere you do whatever you want.. Uh-Oh here comes Slat and he looks pissed. Can't wait too hear this conversation... "Ey Katt what the fock you doint.. What do you mean Slat.."You arf pinting uver da vindows of da boot.." I just do that because I don't feel like seeing that other Mere Kat.. "Vat Fookin Mere Kaat, dot yourf raflaction, you stoopid fookin Kaat.. Who are you calling stupid you fat Slav.. SMASH!!! OWWWW! my fuckin toe, you fat bastard...Hold it, stop, stop right now.. Come Mere. Get in the bunker let me try and explain shadows and mereors too you. Slat, don't go stompin on critters toes.. I hate dot fookin Kaat.. Yeah well there are a lot of critters around here that aint especiallya enamored with you.. Da Goot Likes Me and Blaat.. yeah you all smell the same.. Bath time.. Everybody in the lake!!!!!!!!!!
Alright!! Everybody outta the lake. Here ya go, fresh towels, toothbrushes for everybody but Sammy, just keep whistleling Sam..Here ya go Blat, Slat, deodorant for everyone..Man, what a good lookin crew..Now tomorrow, you can pull the ARK..ARK!! did somebody say ARK!! ARK!! did somebody say ARK!! I hate this fuckin parrot..Yeah Greeney me, pull the Boat into the pines, and save it for a rainy day.. It has stopped raining your hooch is dry and you can all pile in there tonite and have a nice dry party..Naahhhhhhhh!! Sorry Billy I didn't mean that kina dry, I know you all will be drinkin.. I am going to the bunker..Come Mere..No way Simple I am up on my toes and ready too party with my critter friends tonight.. OK guys, for me I am ready for some Phillies. Look in on you later..PHEW!!!
They thought J. K. Rowling had an imagination. Simple you have to put all this shit in to a manuscript. It would make a great movie. Directed by Plain.....LOL
Yeah Jim, after we all got through our shock treatments..LOL!!
Anyway big visitor day at the Ville. Hope they enjoyed the show..
The critters are hootin and hollerin out there tonite. First dry nite in about the last 5..Drinks are a flowin, Blat and Slat are doing some kinda dance, bent down and throwin their legs out.. Billy tried it and kicked himself in the eye, or I, or Aye. Aw you know what I mean.. At least the critters are having fun. Me I am catching the end of the Phils.. Rackin out alone, and saying goodnite or, ore goodknight to all my Friends here, or hear at the Ville "Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends." TAPS.
Real TAPS for a wonderful lady tonight.. Phyllis Morris's Mom has passed away... Mrs Marterelli, R.I.P. Love Ya Phyllis...Your Friend Always, Ernie
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