Friday, August 26, 2011
"Today Is The 26th Day Of August In The Year Of Our Lord 2011."
Mornin, Afternoon, Evening... Whatever.. Where the fuck is Plain??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL!!!!!!!! If I don't show, they just go AWOL... Do something will ya Plain, I been a little busy lately.. Well a lot busy.. You think you could find a fuckin post in your black heart, nooooooo go whack your balls off that is more important.. I am finally getting sick of you Plain.. I want too meet you in Atlantic City about 8AM Sunday, make sure you are there... I'm sorry, you know I can't stay mad at you.. Just be in Atlantic City Sunday, I'll buy you lunch.. Earthquake, Hurricanes, Locusts, Beetles and a bevy of critters.. recipe for disaster.. I am telling you right now if a fuckin hurrican takes me out that shit ain't fair.. I am going to be 92 and get shot by a jealous husband.. No rules bring on some storms, bring on anything you want.. I will be remote again, I will try and get on a puter.. The pine barrens is not a safe haven, except for me and the critters. I will be back out here tomorrow.. Rt.206 and 70 are the main arteries through these pines.. They are swamped with sheople heading back from the barrier islands.. Why don't you just fuckin stay there..Winds are only going to be 150.. what the fuck I stood behind a jet one time it took off and I woke up about 6 hours later, they told me that gust that hit me was 200 miles an hour, I was in a different county... Such is the life of a Simpleton.. I was always taught to look behind me before I took off....
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I'm down the shore now Simple with my Boogy Board can't wait to hang 10,The life Guards are yelling at me that Christie is saying we have to get out, I yelled back I'll just hold on to him! They have noooooooooooo sense of humor here. the cops came and took my boogy Board and told me get out of New Josiey , this is the sixth State Ive been kicked out of and I'm getting tired of it.
Did ya see where they arent inviting the Cops and Fireman at the 10th anniversity of ground Zero Simple! That asshole Bloomberg said there's no Room and they will honor them some other time some other Place, Someone shoulf tell that Prick the Cops and Fireman weren't invited the first time at ground Zero either , but they showed the fuck up Didn't they !!!!!!
Looks like it is you and me Plain.. I am sure the loyal citizens will somehow appear.. In the meantime don't forget I will see you in Atlantic City Sunday at 8AM breakfast is on me.. NYUK NYUK NYUK!! in a very low voice, yo, sam, i know he will be there..
Sure I'll be there the sheep are running to get water , bread Milk, duct tape and whats going to happen ? Not a friggin thing all you need is an umbrella , ITS THE STORM OF THE CENTRY, OMGGGGGGGGG IT'S Y2K WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!! The snow will be 12 foot and you wont get out of your House until July!!!!!! There all fucking nuts and everyone belives it!!!!!Six months aho it was Global Warming, and these assholes are buying genrators and plugging them in and dying of carbon Monixide !!!!!! throws up my hands put's on my rubber duckie and my rain coat and lil yellow Rain Hat jumps on my tri-cycle and rides to the mall!!!!!......Where The Hell is Catey ???????
Every Channel Simple it makes me sick!!!!! All the weather people Cathy Gandolfo is running around like she has a Slim Jim up her ass pointing at lil clouds that came down to say Hyer to us ( Smirks) Kathy Orr is nipping out and telling everyone to stock up on everything especially toliet paper, and Hurricane Schwarts has a chubby yelling it's the Storm of the Centry, His eyes are bugging out of his head, there all full of shit.........Starts singing Goodnite Ireneeeeeeeeeee Goodnite Ireneeeeeeeeee
I have my peanut butter, Entenmann's Chocolate Donuts, Pepperoni and Cheese, Olives, Dove Bars, Generator full of gas, A fresh picture of Iced Tea..(LOL) thirteen oak trees that can take out the house,and garage, both car and truck full of gas, and not a fucking thing is going to happen. Maybe a little rain. You have to understand the weather people just wait for something like this to some along because they only study it and never get the chance to show what they were taught. I laughed when they said they used the European System, which is said to be the most reliable, telling us what is going to happen. They have a job to do and if they didn't get so excited we would be breaking their balls for not telling us. So when the Sun comes out Sunday afernoon and we shall see what has happened. Is Irene bigger that Floyd? What would he have to say about that?. Simple, Rox High School is a shelter is you need one. Maybe Bartrum................I hope the Jersey Shore doesn't get hit too bad.........Stay safe all......
P.S. I could watch Cecily Tynan give me the weather all night 24-7.
OMG is it Armageddon! No, it is a hurricane that has been downsized to a tropical storm that will peter out before it gets to us. But all you good sheople out there hurry to the Acme, Super Fresh, Pathmark, Shop 'n Bag to stock up on all necessities as we may be in the house for as long as ahhhh 12 hours or so! Yeah, there will be some flooding in the low areas and some erosion on the beaches and some trees down and some without electricity but how many times have we been through this before? Hopefully in a few days all will be fixed and most importantly no one will be hurt. Enjoy your breakfast at 8:00am on Sunday in AC Plain & Simple. Plain, be careful boogeying on those waves and watch out for Gidget!
Yo, I must have missed something, you mean the Storm Of The Century, (what a fucked up show by the way, was about that wizard that came to that Maine Island to grab a kid too train). I digress this has been downgraded too a tropical storm..Yo! Danielle has worked in Atlantic City for 20years and this is the first time they told her not to come to work.. I told her to come on out and hang with me and the critters. She said she would hang with the critters but I gotta leave. Surely I jest..You know Plain I know who said that is just a rittle crowd that came down to say higher to us..You are a prick..
Not enough Plain, you know me, let me go get the guitar...........................................................................
A One and two and four..or something like that..
Irene goodnight, Irene goodnight, goodnight Irene goodnight Irene I'll see you in my dreams...Sometimes I lives in the country sometimes I lives in town sometimes I got a good notion to jump in the Schuykill and drown.. Irene goodnight, Irene goodnight, goodnight Irene, goodnight Irene, I'll see you in my dreams....YAY YAY!!! walk off the stage guitar strapped on the back, thunderous applause, miss the first step and break my fucking face..Floyd is bigger than any Irene I ever knew.. I knew her one legged sister Eileen..
For it is Catey, Catey, swingin on the outhouse door without a nightie. Where are ya darlin, Plain misses ya..
WHAT!!! WHAT!!!! EY SAMPLE LETS UST INT DA BONKER.. Come on guys I wanna watch the Phillies. It is nasty out here Simple.. Alright come on in.. Where's Billy?? making a Vodka and beer run..What you gonna start partying in the bunker now. We heard you singing..Alright Mere, when Billy gets back set em up.. We will party with Irene...,
Spiders too the left of me spiders on my right here I am stuck in the middle with the critters.. You kiddin me I took one arachnid down tonite he had to weigh a fucking pound. Then I make a head call and lo and behold there is another fuckin spider, he was against the wall so I threw a can of deodorant at him and he hopped, ah!! one of them hopping fucks, whacked him with the tip of my saber, he aint hoppin no moe...Then I had to massacre three crickets. I'm tellin ya man the rains stir up the bugs.., and Simple puts them too sleep..Wouldn't it be nice if it were a bug free world. I suppose there are some beings looking down on us and saying wouldn't it be nice if were a human free world, especially that Plain and Simple...Signing off for now, I don't know what tomorrow is bringing weather wise, right now, just a damp muggy night in the pines. I hope too be talkin too everybody over the weekend. If the power goes down, I know smoke signals..be looking east from Philly town..Stay Dry, and "Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends." TAPS............................
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