"Today, Tonight, Or Whatever Is The Third Day Of January In The Year Of Our Lord 2011."

"It Is Now Post Time Or Was Post Time Or Something Like That."
"We're Off, Because We Def. Ain't On.
Went running out of the black hole that is my cousins..You can check in any time you like but you can never leave.. Sounds like an old Eagles song...Finally get back to the Ville, and it is eerily quite..get out of the car and look around, the road is covered with Plumes of Green, broken beer and vodka bottles, all the cases that insane Plain left were broken and strewn all over the dirt road, there are broken banjos and not a critter to be seen...WHAT THE FUCK????  HEY ANYBODY HOME??? ANYBODY ALIVE???  This looks like the aftermath of an ostrich hunt...HELLO!!! BLAT!!! SLAT!!! MEERE!!!! ANYBODY ALIVE????? Nothin, gotta walk over too the hooch, this can be dangerous..It is one cold dark fuckin nite in the Pines...HELLO!!!!  SAMPLE IST DOT YOUF!! Yeah Blat, what the fuck went on here, and where is everybody???  Sample youf vould nut belief, vot hoppened.. Greeny vent...STOP!!! I KNEW THAT FUCKIN PARROT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS....WHERE IS HE???  He vent vit Fralinger Strang Band, dey took him vit dem ufter da parade.. WHAT PARADE??? Da Mommers Parade...BLAT YOU ARE MAKING KNOW SENSE, AS USUAL (Yeah like I am..),  YOU TELLIN ME THAT PARROT HAD THE FRALINGER STRING BAND OUT HERE???? Oht no Sample all of dem..ALL THE STRING BANDS??? Yest Sample he knowst dem all....WAIT YOU HAD A MUMMERS PARADE HERE AT THE VILLE..Dats raght Sample ant youf missed it..I MISSED IT... LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN PLACE, IT WILL TAKE YOU TILL NEXT NEW YEARS TO CLEAN IT UP..WHERE ARE THE REST OF YOUR GANG??? Shh they art slapping Sample..dey drank some oft the barr and voodka.....Some of it, it is all out on the dirt road empty, bottles and cans and broken boxes and ribbons and banjos and Plumes of all different sizes....I knowt dat Sample ve drank it den ven da Mommers got here ve stuck the Plumes up our asses and started shekin and jammin and jumpin in da airt..Ve vere da hit of da parade...Greeny (I knew that fuckin parrot did this), he vas flying so higt he banged into Harry Chapant... Enough, where is he???  He vent vit da Mommers, as an offial mascoot..youf know like Semmy aroundt here.. He is with the Mummers? Yest, dey sat dey haf to initiate ham....Good, I won't see that pain in my balls again...Oh yest Sample, he said he ist like Crosty dat snowman, he vill be back dis vay some day.....Yeh, well tomorrow morning you and the rest of your gang get this shit cleaned up...I am hitting the rack....Meere,,   Shh, he ist in your banker slippin...Phew the shitttttttttttttttttt, WHOA!!!!!!!!!! trippin all over empty boxes, once again landin on  my ass. PHEW!! the shit I gotta put up with around here...
See you tomorrow if I can make it back to the bunker...
"Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends."
TAPS..