"It Is Now Post Time."
We're Off......."HAPPY ASSHOLE DAY." Yep today is officially ASSHOLE DAY (well officially it was yesterday but I didn't find out about it until after I posted, so being the asshole that I am, I waited for today..pretty cool huh??) That is right for all of you assholes out here, it was on this date in 1781 that German Scientist William Herschel discovered, DRUM ROLL EASY.....................................URANUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 7TH Planet from the sun, and the idol of assholes world wide...It is one thing to honor the Planet URANUS!!, but it is an entirely different venue to honor all assholes that inhabit our time and space in history...So, today please any asshole you feel like honoring bring them on into the Ville. I will make sure I kick them the fuck outta here at TAPS...Plain, do not bring Obuma in here, you gotta come up with somebody else...You call him an asshole almost daily...I am sure you know a lot more.. In actuality this is probably the easiest venue we have ever tried to accomplish at the Ville...I could write a book on the assholes I have met...Little known fact, The Planet URANUS!! when Herschel discovered it was seen to almost be split in half, yep, it had a crack right down the middle of the Planet, much like the equator circumventing the Earth, only this one was horizontal..and right in the middle of the crack was a giant hole and it was spewing forth ASSTEROIDS at an alarming rate...Herschel turned to his assistant, one Heinrich Hemmoroidwurt, yep he later discovered Preparation H, thus the H for Heirich Hemmoroidwurt..they should have called it Preparation H H.... and said look at this Planet I just discovered it looks, it looks, like an ass....When Heinrich looked through the telescope, he gasped in horror, as a huge ASSTEROID flew out of the hole at that exact moment!!! He exclaimed!!! It looks more like an ASSHOLE....What are you going to name this new discovery,, we cannot possibly call it the Planet of Assholes, beside Earth already holds that DISTINKTION!! (HA AH , OH CHIT), .. What are you going to register as this new Planets name??.William thought for a while and said, DRUM ROLL EASY.....................................How about URANUS!!!! Well with this statement Heinrich yelled UR A FUCKING ANUS, and with this both men started laughing and slapping each other on the back yelling it is official we shall call it THE PLANET URANUS IN HONOR OF ALL THE ASSHOLES...!! We will make today officially ASSHOLE DAY, and every year henceforth, the assholes can step to the front of the line and be acknowledged..So once again to all you Assholes out there HAPPY ASSHOLES DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would like to take a moment to wish one of the biggest ASSHOLES I have ever had the pleasure of encountering and every now and then even have too look at....HILLARY ASSHOLE CLINTON, her of the hair pulled back, Miss Piggy features and that suave devil may care attitude she exudes to our enemies in the middle east...She was on the News the other night admonishing various actions by the Syrian Government, and it's crack down on it's civilian population.. I am absofuckinglutly sure that Assad could not sleep that night, as Hillary The Asshole must have put so much fear in his black heart that he had anxiety attacks all through the evening hours...Just look at how our country is represented to the World..Hillary will take care of any problems we have with any of those rebellious bedouin chieftains, as they must fear her more than leprosy...They must sit around a TV in Bora Bora or wherever else these vermin hide and laugh their balls off, just by looking at her...After the Navy Seals took out the pirates, she was seen flashing the victory sign.. I am positive it was through her, planning and military operation knowledge, that this raid was such a success....Can you see this... OK Hillary time to saddle up, get that 50 pound pack on your back we are climbing up this jungle mammoth of a mountain today, remember to fill your canteens and strap on that rifle belt and don't forget too put that mortar round on top of your pack, in fact here strap these willey peter grenades to your legs..Hillary let's go we are moving out...can't crawl all the way up there Hillary..that's it get up, get up...WHOA you forgot your E Tool...gotta get it attached to that pack...there ya go...Let's move out.....OK back to reality, let's give assholes their due today, and for the one or two or three scumbags that came into the Ville and called Me or Plain an asshole but would not identify themselves..You are next HAPPY ASSHOLE DAY TO YOU!!!!!!!.......
5 comments:
OMG - let's just say what an old friend said to me once - "if you're in a room with 10 people you can bet 9 of them are assholes" and when we were in a room with 10 people I once said to him, well it 'pears I'm the only non-asshole here! Didn't like that too much! They (assholes) are abundant. My best advice is WALK AWAY!!!
ASSHOLE STORY.. Yep, here you are live at the Ville..Loadin two skids on the truck..Fork Lift get stuck..Soooooo ASSHOLE Number 1.. that would be The Simpleton, tells ASSHOLE Number 2. That would be Robbie..to get his four wheel drive jeep that has a winch on it and we will pull it right out...Can't get the winch too work..Sooooooo along comes ASSHOLE Number 3..That would be a friend of mine who lives out in the Pines.. Yo Ern what are ya doing.. Hey, got the fork lift stuck..winch ain't workin..He says I got some heavy duty rope in my truck...Sooooooo Simple is down on the ground hooking up the rope to the fork lift and the jeep...nothing it is going in deeper..Sooooooooooo get in the four wheel drive truck, drop it into 4 low..Pull the fuckin thing out, unhook it and try and back up and it gets stuck again...ASSHOLE number 3 says we gotta hook it up and drag it out to the stones...OK Simple is back down hookin up the rope..he jumps in his truck and I jump on the fork lift and the rope snaps...So, Simple picks the rope up it is in a noose shape.. and put it over my neck...now ASSHOLE Number 3 calls his friend who has a giant fucking loader and here he comes...the fork lift looks like a toy compared to this thing..He also has a chain,, always good to have the right tools..he rips that thing outta the ground like a tonka toy...Thanks and twenty dollar bills all around...When ASSHOLE number 4..pulls up, a State Trooper...Points too me and waves me over to his car.. What the fuck, wasn't I wearing a seat belt..He says, Sir are you OK?? Now I must admit, I am a little muddy a little sweaty and my eyeballs are poppin out like Meere's, but I say, yeah I am fine why.. He says you have a noose around your neck...I just stared in amazement, finally I said what are you talking about officer..He says again, you have a noose around your neck...oh yeah, I wanted too say I always dress like this, but I had to explain the whole situation to the officer in charge......
I woulda told him good thing the rope broke those fuckers tried to hang me and My forklift but I must of been to heavey.
lets see assholes hmmmmmmmm oh I know 69 million of them they voted for Obuma.Now they have to vote him out to prove they aren't Total Assholes! Smirks and walks away.
Maybe you can't read simple i didnt refer to Obuma as an asshole this time alough he is!!!!!!! I said all the 69 million that voted for him were assholes.And if you look back at the last three years the proof is in the Puddin. maybe this time People will look into the background of whomever they vote for, or do their homework so to speak.LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL who am I kidding the sheep want to be led.
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