"It Is Now Post Time."
We're Off...See where Plain was out after TAPS last nite..I think I might run him up, nah, he was a Lance Corporal long enough...Of course nowhere near the time and grade this Simpleton put in as a Lance Corporal.. When I was first born into the Corps, my name was Skinny, yep, Skinny and my last name was Maggot...I answered up to that name throughout boot camp..and then for some reason I rose through those ranks quickly and became a Lance Corporal and stayed there for the remainder of my tour..I'll tell ya how long I was a Lance Corporal..when I got out of The Corps, and Lance Rentzel or Lance Alworth, would score a touchdown and everybody would be yelling WAY TO GO LANCE!! I would be jumping around the room, or bar or wherever I was saying thank you, thank you.. People would just stare in sympathy..AHH!! where did those days go...and don't say Italy Plain.. Where you at hoppin around hackers with the rest of the toads.. Hey, I heard a lot of you got squashed up on Port Royal Ave. did Babe make it, he is a rather large toad...probably harder for him to dodge a car, say than you or Monk....Well have a good time whackin, and if I ever get outta the Ville, I will join the toads as a Lance Corporal..I could be the Lance Of The Toads...Alright Simple enough of this shit.. What is happening today?? AHH ONE AND AHH TWO AND AHH HUUMMMPPPP!!!!!!!!
There feel better all you humpers...I sure do,,,, Roadin with Phil, that is always an adventure..He came into day and says let's go....I told him we ain't loaded yet.. he says, well get the Vodka and get over there with the critters, and get loaded.. No man, I mean the truck isn't loaded. I have to go get the fork lift..Well go get it...we gotta roll man...Can I just say Hi here at the Ville first...You know Ern, I don't get this Ville shit...Well you know what Phil, I guess if you don't get it, then you don't get it.. Well what is it?? It is a Ville where people come on and discuss various opinions, about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and sex.....SEX!!! you talk about SEX!!! We talk about everything, we talk about politics, sports, songs, cowboys, critters, Villes, trips, friends, spouses, science, literature, old days, new days, months, colors, planets, goofing, freindship, loyalty, Marines, Sailors, Soldiers, Seals, Airmen, tanks, war, peace, War and Peace..countries, holidays, non OK OK OK!!! that is too much for me, I ain't talking about all that shit.. Hey Phil, with all due respect, my friend, nobody asked you to talk about any of this shit... You asked me to tell you...OK!! don't say anymore, I ain't talkin about all that shit...go get the fork lift let's get outta here....UHHMMM what do you talk about again....ARGHHHH!!! THE SHIT I GOTTA PUT UP WITH AROUND HERE!!! On The Road Again, I can't wait to get on the Road Again, playing music with my friends, I can't wait to get on the road again...Just hide the pound of pot a little bit better next time WILLIE!!!!
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On The Road Again......Head out on the highway lookin for adventure....sailin', sailin' away...leavin' on a jet plane.....keep on truckin'. OMG see what you did Finn McTune!!!
pfffffffff On parris Island I was called Slick Mottaaa Fucker, because when they ask where you were from and you were from up North you were a gang member and a Hood and got slapped around, if you were from the South you were a dumb Hick and didn't know shit, and it was the first time you ever had shoes on.And got slapped around. So me being smarter than the average Bear , smirks was watching all this and when the 5 DI's got in front of me and said real nice where you from you maggot piece of shit.I said Sir Manayunk Sir, they looked at each other back and forth and then This Gorrilla Named Sgt Trule Pushed they DI's apart and walked forward and said where the Fuck you say your from Boy? So i repeated Sir Manayunk Sir. He Smirked and said I'm from West Philly Mother fucker and punched me thru the Rack, from then on I was Slick Mother fucker for two weeks.The only way I got rid of that name was because this Same Sgt, Said slick Mother fucker what's your name again? I was so scared I said Sir Morris Sir! And Your suppose to say Sir Pvt, Morris Sir and this Sgt went nuts screaming these unGodly names and making sounds I never heard before he was yelling you a fucking Knight or some Royla british Asshole who the fuck do you think you are Sir Morris well the next Two weeks it never failed anytime a Platoon was Marching by they would yell Paltoon Halt and yell to the other Sgt's Yo Sgt Come on over here I want you to meet Sir Morris he's a fucking Limey or some kind of Knight.And they would have there fun with me with that until I became Duche bag and I'll tell ya about that later.
So you became our wise ol' Jedi Knight while at Parris Island? Sir Morris!
You know Plain, some of those boot camp stories are the best..I love when we sit around and talk about that shit..It is hard for other people to believe..I don't really discuss it with a lot of people because truth be told it is hard to believe..I was telling a friend about mail call..When he would yell out your name and you would run to the center of the squad bay and hold your hands straight out about 12 inches apart and he would smack the letters into your bottom hand and you would smack your other hand down on top of them and back up two steps and yell AYE AYE Sir. and turn to run back to your rack.. but UH-UH. You got five letters maggot, you are only allowed two. So let's see give me 10 push ups for everyone over two, that would be 30 push ups START NOW YOU SKINNY MAGGOT!!! Thinking as I hit the deck, what the fuck sir, I don't know if I can do 30 fuckin pushups, how about throwin some sit-ups in there for a change, I can do a lot of them...THATS TEN YOU SKINNY FUCKIN MAGGOT..OK only 20 more...I can see Hanson down there with his face in his boot laughin his fuckin balls off...THAT'S TWENTY YOU SKINNY FUCKIN MAGGOT...Alright please God let me be able to do ten more and I promise never to curse again...TWENTY EIGHT!!! ALL THE WAY DOWN YOU SKINNY FUCKIN MAGGOT!!! uhhhhhh-uhhhhhh...TWENTY NINE YOU SKINNY FUCKIN MAGGOT!! Screamin in my ear, did he say twenty nine that is a record for me...THIRTY!! GIVE ME ONE MORE YOU SKINNY FUCKIN MAGGOT!!! You gotta be shittin me man, look at Hanson, laughin in that boot...There 31,.. you fuckin happy...OK MAGGOT GET BACK TO YOUR RACK IT'S LIGHTS OUT AND TAPS...Wait how the fuck am I going to write home and tell people to stop writing too me....BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC...HIT IT!!!!!!! I can still smell that place...I just tried to do a push up and the crew had to pick me up off the floor..I was yelling AYE AYE SIR!!!LOL!!!
Haaaaaaaaaa ya wanna know how nuts this world is Simple! I'm Watching this news clip about a Dad shinning a Laser in the eyes of the Golie against his Daughters Hockey team. Who said cheaters never win?The Poor Guy was prolly caught up in Austin powers Dr. Evil shit, How proud the daughter must be! This asshole should be beaten with the Hockey Sticks or tied to the Goal both hands and feet and have the other team fire Hockey pucks at his nuts for about an Hour or two.Smirks and walks off.
Plain, surely you jest about the Dad with the laser. I got a feelin you are not jesting..The only answer I have for what is wrong in this society is..A LOT.., It is a shame, because there are really, good people in our society, and naturally they would never even think of something like that, but you get that one jerk off, and there it is in the bright lights..I don't know what they should do to him, that he hasn't already done to himself and his family..I feel bad for the kids..Him, he gotta be hopeless..
Well Plain and visitors (a lot today) must be hump day. Did we HUMP?? yes we did...The critters said they are sorry about the threats they made to me about winter.., as I think tomorrow may set a record..Hey, goodbye winter who cares.. I still gotta believe we have to get some kind of storm..I don't think I ever saw a winter without at least one..I just thought of something, I haven't used the ice scraper for the car or truck all winter, man that is a first...I really haven't..and March, marches on...keep it goin..Spring training in two weeks, should be a great trip as always..
Well the critters have calmed down. They didn't do much drinkin this week, they thought there was a big storm comin so they stockpiled their booze. I am sure they will start up soon enough...Fires Out, critters secure..lock up the Ville and watch some Basketball, The Madness has begun..
Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends.
TAPS.
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