Wednesday, March 23, 2011
"Today Is The 23rd Day Of March In The Year Of Our Lord 2011." You gotta be shittin me.
Mornin. What the hell happened to the 17th 18th 19th 20th 21st 22nd of March???? This is not good. I gotta start growin up.. I think I will start next year or the year after.. Boy oh Boy that old saying about time flyin when you are havin fun sure does ring true in my case, seems like yesterday I was hangin with BAC SL, at Burgerville. Now, here I am wondering how I got where I am.. WAKE UP PLAIN!!! Everybody tells me I had a good trip.. I know I made a cab driver park the car, go in the Tilted Kilt with me, hang out with everybody in the place. Wind up with all the bartenders from the Tiki Bar, and screamin I want a kilt!! I want a kilt!! the bartenders from the Tilted run around and grab me, and staple two black napkins on me. I think I got a kilt on, I am in the parkin lot jiggin with the cab driver. Marie Eck grabs the front napkin and trys to drag me away, the napkin rips off and I realize it is not a kilt, so back in I go, screamin I want a kilt, Marie follows me in and drags me out of the place, and into another cab. I am not a happy jigger at this time. So, I am going to bail, and go back, but they had me smashed in the middle of the back seat. Get back to the motel, crash, wake up still had the other half of my napkin kilt hangin off my ass. Why would anybody go anywhere with me.. I wouldn't hang with me, but I got no choice. People fuckin thirty years old are more mature than me.. Oh Well, so what.. That's why I am Simple!! WHERE THE FUCKS THE GENERAL!!!! You, I go away for four days (seems like four years) and Japan is missin, and we're in another war.. Why don't we just run Kadaffy Duck and his henchemen into the Farlands of Libya, and move all the Japanese from Fukushito (they got some neat names) into Libya to run our oil wells. See Simple is back and thinking profound thoughts once again.. I guess Plain is ready to fire and all you turkey hunters, sky divers, singers, dancers and whatever other tricks you perform. Bring it on. We may be gettin some new lookers, I think I spread the word about Plain and Simpleville all over Brighthouse Field. Let's Laugh.. Missed you guys..
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19 comments:
WHAT Japan is Missing ?Harry Truman isn't still around is he ?
And don't worry about any Kilt come down cj& ecks and act like that you will get Kilt , I promiss.
And another thing Simple where was yesterdays Post? I come in from a long day of golfing with ewit(no easy chore) and there is nothing , nada, zero zilch,I was getting calls about not only being three hours behind but now a Day and three hours and that comes to 27 friggin hours I got someone to add it up for me ?Holds my hands out,looking like what the frig is wrong with you ?Next time I see you , you might get Kilt.
Hey Plain, them Pineys chased me for three hours last night. They were yellin I raided their blueberry patch, I was yellin fuck you and your cousin.. If they didn't kilt me, you and those loons at Eck's ain't kiltin me. Besides Marie Eck still loves me, I think.. You know what Plain, once again you may be right. I'm probably better off stayin in the Pine Barrens for a few years and let the heat die down.. YO!! What's the matter wid Widdle Plainy and Big Baby, can't go hit golf balls, because it is a widdle cloudy and damp, what a wuss ass game that is. Now Piney, chasen that is a sport, because you can literally lose your ASS!!!
Just checkin on in, and look at all these wise ass comments about my misadventures in Florida and the Pine Barrens. Kinda quite, but still have a lot of lookers in. So, when you get time lock and load. I'm the one that is supposed to be hurtin. If you look at it logically, I was on vacation, but you guys were the ones that got the break.. Be back!!
We dont want to get are Balls wet.Have you ever tried to play with wet balls ?Noooooooooooo, but yet you mock us, there is slipage when it's wet and you could also bust your balls, who wants to be out there all day busting there balls ?Lil you know about Golf Simple.
Oh by the way if anyone gives a
f--k Elizabeth Taylor died. They actually broke into the running program to make this announcement. Do you believe this s--t? I though they were breaking in to tell us that radiation had hit the US or that Kadaffy Duck had given up.
I don't know how you got two of the same message from me. It wouldn't let me send the first one so I re-typed the second one and then up pops both of them. Sorry! I will never understand computers!!!!!!
Sounds like we could turn this Blog into a Reality Show. Plain and Simples All My Children/One Life to Live. Maybe Cops.....Bad Boys, Bad Boys, what cha gonna do. But then listen if you don't fall off the Bar Stool you didn't have a good time. Sounds like you guys had a ball........at least Simple got to see one pitch. Plain, notice none of them went golfing in that beautiful weather...but I guess their balls were dragging and it must but hard in a Kilt. At least they all survived. Their Guardian Angels must flip coins every year to see who gets that duty.
Omg this Jane was trying to save Simple? Wouldn't that be more like trying to be beatified or Cannonizied are you sure she wasn't Drunk Strebor ? Well wait it is almost impossible to tell when a person is drunk when they are stone crazy !
And I may go looking for the jersey devil tonite in the Barrons dont look like I can't golf tomorrow either.I might just take my K-bar and my p38 ya never know
Hey Plain, be warned that Jersey Devil dude is real. Legend has it, he was the last child of 13 of the Pine witch Lucretia Baumchasin...He wa immedieatly put out of the cabin, because he had this ungodly cry like that of a demon. He grew to an ungainly height of 8 foot and 1/3 of an inch. This is a known fact, he was measured for a tux once but they didn't have one to fit him. He wrecked the joint and said in a low gutteral tone that he was never comin out of the Pine Barrens again, and nobody better come in looking for him. So, Plain if you go lookin to shoot him in the ass, you better take McHugh with you, as he is pissed I am the only thing he shot in FLA. Good luck in those pines especially on a cold and damp nite. Oh yeah, and when you go don't call me.. I have golf lessons at nite..
Sets up camp deep in the Pine Barrons Builds a Tree Stand as Sammy builds a nest high up in the perch of the Tree, gets out my solar genrator and plugs in my frige , High depth T.V., Raido,heater,and a few lamps so I can read. Puts out some Bouncing Bettys, and 8 anti tank mines, Loads up my M 14 and Sawed off Pump shot gun,then places bangalor torpedoes around the whole perimeter.
Smirks as I think of the Josey Devil, lays back in my hammock and waits.
Plain... if you need some fire power cover on your flank, just call. I don't have all the "mil spec toys" you have listed... but I got few "splody" things left in the old foot locker and lots of firearm options that will do a lot of damage to any size Jersey Devil. Wife and I lived in Jackson NJ in 1975 for about a year... Great Adventure had just opened and I had a nice house for short money as I worked up in New Brunswick for J & J and the commute wasn't real bad. I never saw or heard the old devil that far north but as a kid my Dad used to regale us with the stories when we went to vist a friend of his who had a home on an old cedar spring lake way down on Route 70.
See some red eyes peering in the dark moving back and forth fires off a heat seeking Missile, throws three gernades and fires my flame thrower.Turns down the usher rap music to see if I hear the crickets or anything out there. hmmmmmmm this sucker has to be about 8 foot 1 inch bet it weighs 900 lbs. Sammy goes wow you ca tell that by listening to the ground ? No I put my hand in this huge pile of shit!!!!!! this bastard shows up he's so mine.Shakes the shit off my hand and finds a towel and soap. I'll be back
WOrked for J & J Pat. Just retired from there in Springhouse.PRD.Moved the Pilot Plant to India and Belgium. Retired from Novartis in 98, moved that plant to Nebraska. So where are going to move this Blog to...Nowhere I hope. Welcome back boys. Glad you had a good time. Plain had a hole in one...you figure it out.LOL
Mc Cool... worked for J & J Baby Products 1972 to 1976...started as sales guy in Central PA, then key accounts in North and Central Florida... moved up to regional sales trainer out of Atlanta and went to New Jersey HQ as product introduction manager for disposable diaper national roll out... left in early 77 for National Accts. Manager at Gillette Safety Razor which brought me to New England.
Hey Plain, I think Mc & Mc are old.. As far as you huntin, that old devil, you better stick to golf. Lucretia bestowed mythical powers on his ass, and if he hurts Sammy, I will never forgive your dead ass.. That thing with the red eyes may have been one of my Piney buddys. I know there is no talkin too you, so happy huntin. McHugh you better get out there and help that man. He is watching an HD TV in the Pines and Sammy is on guard duty and what are we all 12 years old. PHEW!! Thanks, for the welcome back Jim, there must be somethin wrong with you, as that was the only one I got. Later
Sammy opens up on ths huge thing glaring at uswith orange eyes about 15 feet tall.I yell fire at the chest then hit the squeeze box setting off everything we have this sucker wont go downwe put up are final protective line and Set off the anti tank mines and all the c 4 we have then fire up the flame thrower as trees are falling and animals screaming and all hell is breaking loose i fire the flame thrower right at the eyes and watch them fly away in oppisite directions it was two butterflys doing it............I look at Sammy and he says lets get the hell out of here the whole barrons is on fire, we jump on are Dirt bikes and head toward Indian Mills. Passing cubs scouts running screaming thru the forrest Sammy says Simple will be happy to know there is noise when trees fall in the forrest !
Well Plain, you can't say I didn't warn ya to stay out of the pines at night. I saw you and Sammy flyin by, and girl scouts and even some Pineys. I can see the orange glow of the fire you created killin two butterflies. Stay on the other side of the bridge please. The devil still lurks, and you are out of ammo. I would go hunt him, but like I said he is about 8foot 1/3 inch. Little out of my class. I do thank you and Sammy for the first hand info of trees makin noise when they fall. Actually I heard a few of them from my bunker. More Florida Stories in the A.M. as for now I have to go with the local fire department to dig a fire trench, and it is one nasty night in the Pines, Thanks PLAIN!! It is also a nasty night in good old Plain and Simpleville, everyone try and get a good nights sleep, lets rock this town tomorrow. Once again thanks PLAIN!!! Man is incorrigible... TAPS
The Devil ye say.......Turn out the lightssssssssssss the partyssss overrrrrrrrr.
nite nite nut nut
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