Monday, March 28, 2011
"Today Is The 28th Day Of March In The Year Of Our Lord 2011."
Mornin. WOW!! March is Marchin. Last week, hard to believe how fast this Pacific Coast Time goes..Was in a town called Toms River over the weekend. To get there, I drive right thru the heart of The Pine Barrens (Chatsworth), then head east on Rt. 37 towards Seaside Heights (everybody's favorite Jersey Shore, gag.) It is only about 25 miles from my bunker. Friday, a little low on cash, my bank doesn't have a branch anywhere to be seen, so I figure I will go cash, drum roll eze................my Social Security Check at a check cashin hole in the wall. Finally after stopping at one dot and two dot stores, I get directions to the real place. Must admit, never been there, never done it..Walk in and the guy walkin out countin his cash was livin proof the Indians fucked the buffalo..The guy ahead of me was none other than "El Pedrino" himself Pablo Escobar. She rifles off about two dimes too this guy, and I am next. I hand her a fuckin United States Treasury Check, along with two forms of picture ID. You know where this is gone. YEP!! Can't cash it you ain't from around here. Now another man might have been angry and another man might have been hurt, but another man never would have said, "YOU GOTTA BE FUCKIN KIDDIN ME.!!!" This is a SS check right from the US Government and you won't cash it. Sir you have to watch your language. I FUCKIN CAN'T IT COMES OUT OF MY MOUTH AND I CAN'T SEE MY MOUTH!! Miss Supervisor looks at it and picks up the phone. With this the other one hands it back too me, and I sprint out the door.. Figure I better get while the gettin was good. Is this bullshit or what.. I am sure you all have had these experiences, it is just one more that makes me think I should start speakin Spanish..On that note, let's do a Spanish theme. A-Z anything Spanish, you know do two or three or whatever you feel like, and I will try and be nice..Just pisses me off man..Oh Yeah, Happy Monday..To quote one Jimmy Buffet. "Come Monday I'll be alright, Come Monday I'll be holdin you tight, I spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. haze, and I just want you back by my side......Can't think of an A.... B----Barcelona.. HooRah!!
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casa
Adios yeahhhhhhh I got A, I know how you feel Simple It's like asking for two cheesburgers with only onions in McDonalds I stood there 20 minutes cause it's not what they usually get in and order so I finally get them and I always check them before I leave I open one up and it's got the relish pickle mustard kepchup, so I walk back to the front of the line and said what did I ask for, and the supervisor he had to be from harvard because he knew he ask me three times can I help you while I was waiting. I showed him two cheesburgers one in each hand and I started squeezing them all that shit was dripping all over the counter people were backing up and mumbling the Harvard guy is twoo cheese just onions and he's pulls 5 dollars out of the cash regester I just stared and kept pulling napkins out cleaning my hands off took the 5 and when they put the new bag of burgers on the couter I looked at it and walked out , left them there
Spaking of Spanish I had Danny Higgens as my Teacher At Roman I was flunking at the half and Knew I was going to flunk conduct and with two flunks they threw you out back then .So I go to Danny Higgens he was a pretty cool guy and tell him and ask what I could do to bring my Mark Up. He tells me you have to write a song in Spanish and sing it in front of the class.So I get Ed Bialous and Tyrone Mosses to do back up for me I had a sheet and cut a hole in it put it over my head and had the biggest sumbraro you ever saw when Higgens walks in the room I get up on his desk I got cookarachas and Im singing Moma seita done de est de Santa claus.
I had to sing it like 12 ties he kept going getting other teaches to see this side show.
The guy loved me he said Morris the only ones that teach Spanish in this school is me and Father Rigley and dont get me wrong kid I love ya but if you dont take Spanish two, I'll give you an 85, that was my higest mark that year.
I can see you now Plain, doing that Spanish Dance where you click your heels and use the castinets. Maybe one day you can do that dance down Main St. Plain and Simpleville. I know you would probably be a little camera shy "smirks" but we would all like to see it. On the burgers, that doesn't surprise me and as much as you would have paid to see my act at the Cashin joint, I would have paid to see yours at McDonalds. Bunch of Clowns.. D-Desoto.. As Plain would say Adios for now...
Espanol.......Hope all is well with Dave.......Why don't you get Direct Deposit? Sammy should have a money belt that you could tap in an emergency............Ok Mr. MacNamara was the sextant, who was the guy that lived under the school in the front school yard down that little ramp? Went in there a few times, snooping when he would leave. Happy Monday to you. Nice day to hit balls and sky dive.
Direct Deposit you say, that would be too easy..Nothin is easy when you are born in a row home..I like to make things hard on myself. That guy that lived in that house under the ramp.. drum roll eze....... was Quasimodo. Da, Da Da de de da de de dancin in the streets, Philadelphia Pa...da da da...castanet's a blarin da da de da .. WHAT???? It's the wrong answer, YOUR FUCKIN KIDDIN ME!!!! Same thing I said at the check cashin emporium.. F-Ferdinand
Hey PLAIN!!! balls a little chilly today??
G-Guacamole
Hey what, am I playin with myself again??
H - Hacienda. Do the Torres and Guerras count in this Mexican/Spanish thing? Thinking about Davey all morning and hoping things went well. I can't believe you don't have direct deposit. Plain, today is Mexican Hat Dance. Grabs your sombrero and slides across the floor like a Mexican bandido!
I - Iguana - these things crawl all over Mexico.
Just a quick note of some interest - our follower Earman's Mom is celebrating her 86th birthday today. She grew up in the hood and comes from a well-known Manayunk family. She is a great lady.
J - Jalopeno
Hmmmmmmmmmm all Spanish words that start with k are Loan words so there is only one thing to do
Jumps up on the desk and does the Mexican Hat dance and sings Momma Seitaaaaaaaaaaaaa Don de est de Santaaaaaaa Claus da lent da lent da lentttttt daaaaaaaaa laaaaaaaaaa laaaaaaaaaant da lentttttt
El KILOMETRO
Okay kids got a game and have to get the Kidssssssssss on the bus I'm outta here Buenos Dieos
Just got word that Davey's surgery is over and he is doing fine. Keep the prayers going.
Ole' Plainito, what a donce mon, see see Senor' he had them taps a blazin...
On a good note Davey is doin fine and in recovery, no cut they got did it athroscopically.. CARUMBA!!
Thanks for the prayers or whatever else anybody did.. Appreciate It!!!
Happy B'day to Earmans wonderful M-Momacito...I have no idea if that is a word so I will use MOOCHACHO. Aye Moochacho yo got anudder ceegarette'.
Davey will be goin home at 6 O'clock. I guess you gotta be half dead for these hospitals to keep you under observation for one night..
N-Nachos. Hey mon dat not cho cheese..
Beleive me you want out as soon as you can. You don't need overnight reservations. Germs, Germs,and more Germs. Get in and out. Glad all went well....
Ole, for Dave
Okay we seem to have skipped over K, unless we are counting Plain's El Kilometro and L.
L - Los Lobos
We have m, n, and o.
P - Penelope Cruz
Q - Quesadilla
R - Rio Grande
S - Seville
T - Tijuana
U - Uruguay
V - Villa, Pancho
W - ?
X - Xavier Cugat
Y - Yucatan
Z - Zorro
Anybody got one for W?
I can't believe Davey is coming home today but like McCool said it's best to get out asap. Good luck and God Bless Davey!
Strebor, uno or duo. not allo...give Plainente', Mchugho or even earmano a chance. If anybody wants to do anymore letters and they have some good Spanish words or terms to throw out there FIRE!!
P-Pancho Villa. was a bandito..
Q-Queen Isabella. screwed Ferdinand.
Sorry I didn't know there were rules in the land of Plain & Simple and I already said Pancho Villa. So there!
Plain, I am damn sorry I missed your cuchoracha dance in our Junior year... I vaguely remember some talk of it... never knew it was you. I was the idiot that took French I and II... shit load of good that did me over the years... I can just about read wine labels now.
M- manyana - yeah, yeah I'll get to it later.
N- Negra Modela - dark Mexican beer
0- Ocho Cinco - dumb black guy who thinks he is Messican.
Not sure who Davey is but my prayers and best wishes for a speedy recovery... at our ages we all have been there or will be there.
Daves doing fine talked to him around 330 he was hoping to get home.And yes he said they were talking around 6 to let him go, he was up walking around and says he's doing fine.
Hmmmmm lets see some other Spanish sayings or words we can think of Simple said. Well does shoot that spic count ? I heard it alot at the Almao
Oh and Thank You Pat . Dave Is My Older Brother
Back to the bad lands from Cornwells Heights.As Rickey would say: Round trip 4 hour ten minute. LUUUCCHHEEEE' AHMMM
OME. FRE AND ETEL CUMIN DON TOONITE' LUUUUUCHHEEEEEEEE'
R-Reeky Reecardo
S-Senor' Reeky Reecardo.
Great Dance Plain. You are a real Flamerico. I mean Flaminco..oops!!
No rules Strebor, just fire them out there. Anybody else can do whatever they want. Want to do them all in one shot go right ahead. Want to wait for the next letter go ahead. Wanna start in the middle go ahead. Wanna start at the end, go ahead. Don't want to play go ahead..I hate rules also. Go ahead..Please go ahead. just go ahead. Whatever go ahead means.. I could see if it was grow a head.
Raises one hand over my head and puts the other on my hip bends my knee slightly on my tip toe looks across the room at Jaylo as she charges, catches her and spins her then dips her ,looking into her eyes are lips barley touching then I spin her across the floor by here hair as we start to TANGO.Then having her slide between my legs and pulling her up and spinning her above my head letting her slide down my body as we start to Chicken Dance as the Crowd goes wild then both of us doing the Charleston on one leg we grab each other and skip off as the crowd works itself into a frenzy
TOO THAT LAST POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IF THAT AIN'T WANT PLAIN AND SIMPLE IS ALL ABOUT. THERE AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS PLAIN AND SIMPLE!!!!!!! OLE'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLAIN YOU ARE THE MAN.
J LO YOU ARE THE WOMAN.
TANGO IS THE DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PUERCO EL CONCITO MINYANA EL CONQUISTODORA BUCO MANANA BUCO BUDO BUNGO.....OLE'
Plain, don't ever stop your terpsichore talents. LOL your last encounter was the best yet. Buenos Noches Amigo! So happy to hear the good news about Dave.
That was good news about Dave here on Plain and Simple Street, and that was on hell of a celebratory dance by his brother Senor' Plainloco...
Watchin the 76'ers and the Bulls, in Chicago. Dig this their theme is Spanish Night. They have Los Bulls on their uniforms. Everybody is copying Plain and Simple.. Pretty soon we will be the largest blog in loonville.. Come on aboard amigos...
Well, how do you end this one. All I can say is not bad for a Monday. Good news on the health front. Spanish theme along with the Chicago Bulls. One more amazing dance by Plain and his Spanish partner J Lo. Lot of good Spanish words and verses. Don't know what else too say. Remember one thing, and this really blows my mind, nothing here is rehearsed. It is kinda nuts how we the loons just run with a theme or run with nothin. Really is kinda neat. Once again had a great time. Now what would be a good ending..Buenos Noches. YEAH, that is alright. Siesta time. YEAH, that would be alright but, how about, Answer: TAPS..Question: What was the tune Santa Anna heard coming from the distance, as he rode into the Alamo..
Farewellllll to the Mountainssssssss with Graces to be moreeeeee beautiful Farrrrrrrrr than Eden could be, the home I redeam from the savage and wild the home I have loved ike a father his child.
The wife of my busommm farewellllll to ye all, in the land of the stranger I rise orrr I falllllllll...........Rember the Alamo .......Good Nite and God Bless
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