Thursday, March 31, 2011
"Today Is The 31st Day And Last Day Of March In The Year Of Our Lord 2011."
Mornin, Be a nice day out if it wasn't rainin or whatever it is doing here in Plain and Simpleville..YO! opening day tomorrow and Vodkaday on the same day, that spells Trouble Day. Of course that is, if they play. Once again the weather does not look good for tomorrow. Then it will just be a PLAIN old Vodkaday.. Speakin of PLAIN, WAKE UP!!!!!! Man is incorrigible. I am trying to talk him into going on Dancin With The Stars. He could dance with Sally Star. That's about the only Star that would dance with him. Stars!! like those assholes are stars (gag). Plain more a star than any of them, trust me on that..OK today March is Marchin too a screeching halt. We in Plain and Simpleville do not care, we do not even know the right time. The rules remain the same no rules, anarchy rules as you see how Plain acts. Get recruitin McCool, you ain't sky divin in this weather. You know what I love, all those cliches we through out there. Give me like a cliche that you use or like or hate, and try and define where it came from..I got one, That's like blowin smoke up your ass. I read that they had this contraption back I guess in the late 17 or 18 hundreds and it was sort of like one of those old time air things that help start a fire. Well they rigged that up to blow smoke out of the front. Some doctor came up with the notion, that when people were sick, they shove a tube up their ass, and start pumpin in smoke. It never made anybody better and after a few years, they stopped the practice and shoved a pipe up the doctors ass that thought about it, he had the first colonoscopy, and ended the practice. So anytime anyone would come up with an idea or tell somebody about a great deal comin down, they would say. "You Blowin Smoke Up My Ass" or "That's Like Blowin Smoke Up Your Ass." Good one huh?? What do you think? Let me hear them. Talk to you in a little bit. Gotta get some work done.
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27 comments:
WHAT? Are you blowing smoke up our ass or something ?
Now here's a truey "A Fate Worse Than Death " It comes from any misfortune that would make life misserable especially Rape. The origin attested to the belief that a dishonored Woman was better off Dead. It is still used but in todays meaning it is more likeDeath is easier than to struggle and suffer thru the slings and arrows ofoutragious fortune" To be or nor to Be that is the Question".......smirks man giggles.....knee slap..... I'm just blowing smoke up your ass !!!!
"He's 9 cents short of a dime." No explanation necessary.
Strebor no correction intended, and anything is acceptable here on Plain and Simple, but isn't it 10cents short of a dime. LOL! I don't know for sure but I think it may be 10 cents. Like I said though, here on Plain and Simple 9 cents short of a dime will do. Even at nine cents he is still Simple..
The Grass is always greener on the other side. You don't believe this one, buy a horse. I had a horse with forty acres to himself, nothin but green pastures, all the grass (non smokable) he wanted. What does he do? Gets his fuckin head stuck trying to eat grass on the other side of the fence. I finally pulled his head out, and he looked at me all stupid and shit, and I said, "why the long face pal." I really am Simple..
Colder than a grave diggers ass.
Colder than a well diggers ass. Cold asses are cold asses.
24 cents short of a quarter........No rules here....49 cents short of a half. 99 cents short of a dollar. Last day of March. End of Q1......Just rambling to day. Don't forget to give out the T-Shirts at Ecks Friday. Plain and I and Sammy will be in the storm for a while. We can look for lost balls from a decent hieght.
For Plain... a quote by Edwin Denby. "There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good."
Had another one of my "I really feel as dumb as shit moment" yesterday... I bought an Ipad for my grandson.. I sk them to show me the basic ooperations since I just spent $700.00... and for that I had to withstand 30 minutes of those you still use a rotary dial phone don't you looks from a 20 year old kid.
McCool you are on the right path grasshopper, by that I mean you are in the right ville, your whacked dude..
McHugh, grab the 700.00 and run. Must admit those 20 year olds know more than the 50's and 60 somethin's when it comes to computers and, errrrrrrrrrr sorry young Plain and Simples but that may be it...
"I feel shitty"
I have no idea where that came from. I didn't know shit had feelings. How do we know what shit feels like. Don't answer that.
Hey Plain, what's the matter little fella, can't go play with the other stooges and your balls today. I feel bad for the three of you. I know they jump in this town during the day, I am meat tomorrow..
I humbly stand corrected.
"It is better to have played and lost than to never have played at all." I know, I know, it is supposed to be "it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all", but I like my version better.
Strebor, what do you stand corrected about, the 10 cent thing? Look at McCools comment!!!
Like I said no correction intended, I wasn't sure how that went.
"I stand corrected"
I'm going to take a shot here. Catholic school. Stand up Mr. Keebler, you are going to now be corrected in front of the whole class. I heard you say that horrible "F" word again. You will write 1000 times. I will never say the "F" word again. Sit down. Guess what it didn't work "Fuck You"
Ahhhh yes Pat , Edwin Orr Denby knows all about Hoofing he was the ultimate perceive, along with being a Poet and a Cat lover, his Cat friendly was with him til his sad tragic death.
"Barking up the wrong Tree" meaning making a mistake or false assumption in something you are trying to acheive.The allusion is to hunting dog's barking at the bottom of the wrong trees where they mistakenly think there quarry is hiding. It is a lil known fact That Sammy made this quote in another life he told me he would do this all the time for fun he would run up a tree with the dogs and hunters chasing and then he would jump from tree to tree circle back get in his easy chair and eat Pistachios and smirk at these fools
"Tighter than a Hippos ass in water", this comes from all the cheap pricks that hang the same place you do, the ones that put a 20 up on the bar and go home staggering drunk with 30 bucks cause they took the tips
"If your not the lead Dog, you will be following assholes the whole day" no explanation necessary
"Monkey See Monkey Do"
This comes from the Bonobo species of Mandrils. The Bonobo is a hightly over sexed Drill. That is all they do all day. They not only are addicted fornicators but every other umimaginable sex act known to Primates. So, what happened in the Bonobo society was one Bonobo saw the other Bonobo having sex or something of that nature and tried it, and then another Bonobo saw him and tried it, and so on and so on, and they liked it so much they never stop, and that is that...
Wow Simple this Bonobo thing explains alot to me then.Like why Orientals all have slanted eyes and buck teeth, one of them must have seen one wacking off and it just spread.
Okay I'm going to leave the comments to you GUYS.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
OMG the good nuns of St. J's are rolling over in their graves!
Once again Plain "You hit the nail right on the head"
Self explanatory. Unless it is your finger nail. That motha hurts!!!
Strebor, I don't know if you are male, female or something other, but you sure left that one out there for scrutiny..I think you maybe female from some remarks you made about St, J's.
Soooooooo. If you got caught with your bird in your hand you were a jerk off, b
BUT, and this is a big BUT, if you got caught with it in two bushes you were "THE MAN"!!!!! Plain and Simple rollin today baby!!!!!!!!And yes I am drivin the bus to hell. All aboard!!!!
Hmmmmmmmm does this mean Bush Wackers were ,okay i'm not going there either Miss Knight would be proud of me !
And Simple just because you have a bird in hand it dosen't make you a jerkoff,it cums in handy sometimes and two in the bush maks you a MAN? I would think it makes it more of a Huge Woman.....shrugs and walks away. I got practice, it's just practice,it's just practice coach,everyday we go to practice, and it's just practice. Iverson said it more in one sentence than he ever went.
Oh and Simple we didnt win by a hump back liner the score was 19 to 1 but I wanted you to have a restfull nite.
Thanks for thinking of me Plain. You humper..
I don't know about the two in the bush thing with women and what not, I don't know what I am talking about let alone what you are talking about. Bonobo's Rule.
"Gotta get this monkey off my back." Yeah you do especially if it is a Bonobo. Yah ass bein trrruuubbble. Yeah Mon!!!!
Plain, It's not how you drive it's how you arrive. How many situations can we apply that one to. Maybe Simple is saying you and your team have Hot Bats. A hot bat will make you swing real fast and get a humper while you are at it. Yogi had the best sayings. I was just reading some of them. They are as precious as some of Simple and Sammy's. That's is why this Blog is so good but people just won't commit to signing follow. It is still getting many hits. Maybe they are laughing so hard they forget. We don't want their personal info just want to give them a tee shirt and free drink passes at Eck's and Keenan's from the vast monitary fund we have amassed with our fund raisers. Jumping Friday before the first pitch. Tell Sammy.....
Lots of hits Jimmy me boy. You are right. I guess it doesn't really matter about signing in. Like I said from the beginning come on in and join or just walk down the street and enjoy.
"Money can not buy happiness."
I don't know about that, but I will say this much "It sure can fuckin rent it."
Yes James I know what you mean . All I know is when it's my time to go to the hereafter. I wanna go Peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather........not panicing and screaming like the other 5 passengers in his Car..... So I know what you mean about driving and getting there James.
"It's a dog eat dog world."
When is the last time you saw a dog eatin dog..
It should say "It's a man fuckin over a man's world." That makes more sense. Plain and Simple dude..
You can't cry over spilled milk that already went under the Damn, and the dog is trying to make a monkey out of you.
Well I have to get up at the crack of Dawn, so I would like to make this clear as a Bell,I have no ax to grind with you Simple,I am at wits end,The end of my rope,but once you clued me in,I was happy as all get out,I think we covered all bases , as far as the eye can see,as you can see I used all these cliches as a Pun and pun speller backwards is nub and this is a nub of this..............turn out the lightsssss......the partysssssssss overrrrrrr
WOW!!! Plain went out in a flash of cliche's. Good going. See you tomorrow. A Penny for your thoughts, and a Penny saved is a Penny earned. OK enough is enough. Shit just did it again. OK Plain and Simples. March has Marched to the end. Bringin down the first quarter along with it. Good time today as always. Appreciate anybody lookin in too come on in and lay down some comments. You know your dying to lay out a cliche.. Good time had by all. Hey March, goodbye see ya next year. Vodkayday Eve rainy and dreary in the old ville tonite. Time to get indoors and lock down the house. See you all tomorrow. "Sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite." That's it..
Stay out of harms way my friends. TAPS....
Is'nt pun spelled backwards nup?
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