Wednesday, March 9, 2011
"Today Is The 9th Day Of March In The Year Of Our Lord 2011 B.C." OOPPS
Mornin, just cannot be serious. I wanted to make you all feel old today. Coffee already scalded my nuts, I have a squirrel growin at me, and I think it is Ash Wednesday.. Remember we went to Church everyday in Lent. I did it up until about 4 years ago. Then everybody said, what are you doin you don't go to Church the rest of the year. AH!! but in Simple's almighty Simlicity, I yelled, HEY!! I go for 40 straight, and I know I make at least 5 weddings and 5 funerals a year. I make up at least two Sundays out of the year that's 52, how many times do you go a year. As you see I have my own religion. I used to say I gave up watermelon for Lent, can't do that anymore. Believe it or not WaWa has fresh melon every day, is that store what it is all about or what, plus I can get the New York Post in the Pine Barrens, what a rag, but good readin material for a Post now and then. Lent was a special time when I was young, a lot of drunks actually stopped drinkin, I don't think the bar owners liked Lent. You know one thing about Plain and Simple and it is the thing I love the most, we don't have rules. On that note I will say this. I will not blaspheme. I used to take the Name of God in vein all the time, and it just started to sound so low life, I would correct myself each time, and I stopped doing it. That is a good thing. Simples take on Religion, I don't believe in any of them. I believe in what I believe as the truth, but I will not now or ever put my beliefs on you. I don't care if you worship that tree that Sammy lived in, just don't put it on me. Sorta live and let live. As soon as Plain and I can get together, the interrogation of Sammy will begin, this should be good.. We both have to be in town at the same time.. That son-of-a-bitch is in the cage growling at me and making fists with his little hands. Not Plain, Sammy.. WAKE UP PLAIN!!!!!! Hey Plain two old friends of ours got ahold of me yesterday and today, and want to come on board. I told them sign in with alias's and fuck with you... They can probably mess with me too, because I won't remember.. Hey today in spare time, try and give a couple people's names that have an edible in the name, you know mainly fruit vegetable. Have some fun, and sign in please, Jim is trying his best, but people bust in and out, and he gets frustrated the other day he called me some vulgar names and left. Feel bad for the old fella.. On, the people you don't need a list just fire a few out there, looking forward to hearing from you.. I love you guys, like BAC SL said takes away from all the bullshit in this life.. Bring it.... I would like to start the day with none other Eze drum rooooolllllll please.. Fiona Apple.. Try to keep it real people..WAKE UP PLAIN!!!!!
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Thought for today...... " Before you enter on a journey of revenge, Dig two Graves "
Disagree,just dig one grave for the person you are going to f...up. Example........Sammie.
Brings in two lamps and shines them in Sammys face. Then hands Sammy a ciggie. okay Sammy First of all I'm a Squirrel Whisperer and my Partner over here Simple is Nutttier than A Squirrel Turd so don't try to get over on us.
We Wont try to play Good Squirrel bad Squirrel on ya. And just because this Place is a nut house don't think you can use and insanity plea.So when Simple starts asking ya questions dont go nuts on us.
Good Marinnnnnn to ya Jimmy
Black Eyed Peas............That should be our theme, It going to be a good good night only change night to day on this blog. Join now before the rate go up. If you are one of the first 20 to sign up you get a free trip to Simples House and see and take pictures of the place where Sammie made his PB Mistake.
And the rest of the day to you Plain.........
And yes Simple there is a God, there has to be. I know because when your having sex no one says oh my Budda,or oh my Alla that would sound so stupid!
The live and let live is very profound, I think the way to get to heaven, is not in things you say it is the things you do.rember the saying"People may not rember the things you say,they may not rember the things you do, But they will always Rember how you made them feel "
Fiona Apple she's a cutie I'd take a bite out of her bet she's sweet to the core.
Does Pepper Martin count ? Okay boys and girls It's time for Moe ,Larry , and Curley to go golfing. Keep the ball rolling, Simple I got that Sammy all ready for ya. i'll be back
Their golfin again!! Why don't they just give it up. They all stink!! I can hear them down on Umbria St. now. WOO WOO HOO NYUK NYUK NYUK. Hittin each other in the head. Hey Jim as chief cook and bottle washer, also chief recruiter whether you like it or not. Show people how to sign in, believe it or not Plain doesn't know how to do that.. You believe that? I would do it, but as you can see I am always busy.. Yeah, I'd have to dig more than one grave for the people I would like to fuck up.. You notice everybody in the ville uses f or fn fing for fuck, except me. Why is that?? Yeah Plain Pepper Martin is good. Who is that?? CORNnelius T. Mcgullicuddy (Connie Mack)..later. Gotta give Sammy some Nuts and Water..
March 9, 2011 - Ash Wednesday - remember you are dust and to dust you will return - in the meantime enjoy and continue hanging out with P & S.
Sugar Ray Robinson
Orson Bean
Chiquita Banana
Meatloaf
Poke Salad Annie
Gilbert Grape
Cabbage Patch Kid
there is an actor with the last name Coffee, can't think of his first name
Ice-Tea
Ice-Cube
Harvey Milk
To me there are 3 things we should do every day. We should do these every day of our lives. Number 1 is laugh you should laugh every day. Number 2 is think. You should spend some time in thought, and number 3 is you should have your emotions move you to tears,be it happiness or joy. But think about it, if you laugh,you think and you cry that's a full day, that's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week you are going to have something special.....Jimmy Valvano
Christina applegate,Johnny Appleseed , orange Christmas!, she is a black woman I once saw being interviewed on The news all the Cherry family , too many to name all, Cherry blossom, she' a pole dancer ! And a really good one at that! A b c y'all later
Anon... I think I saw Cherry Blossom and her pole perform once.. and i concur she was good at her job.
Anyone remember the TROC Burlesque Theatre I think it was at 7th and Arch... not sure...(Teddy Roosevelt Opera Company was the joke name) was there one time with Joe Rowan and Mike Dunn... neither of us ever got up the courage to try and step up and buy tickets, so I never did see the inside. I think Chesty Morgan was their feature act back then... 66 x 26 x 38.
I not only remember the Troc, I went to the show. I believe it was Virignia "Ding Dong" Belle. Me and Nicky Lazaro.. I don't know how I have made it this far. JACK LEMON. Let me ask our loyal and most vocal followers PLEASE SIGN IN!!!! What is so hard?? We need people to see we have troops. If you sign in they will come. Not difficult..Thank You..
The above was just Simple. Gotta love me, man....
As I said I never made it to the TROC... left Philadelphia area shortly after HS. Through the years (for mandatory client entertainment purposes only) I have been to somewhat I assume similar establishements... I was always sorry though that I never made it to the one that was first on my list.
Too late Pat, sorry to say along with many other Philly institions the Troc has tit it. OOPPS I meant bit it.. Shoulda went when you had the chace Ding Dong rang my belle baby. Me and Lazaro got kicked out for hollerin, PUT IT ON!! PUT IT ON!!! everybody else was hollerin TAKE IT OFF!! TAKE IT OFF!!! We were kids we were scared that if she took too much more off we would wind up attacin the stage. Good time man..
Man that was just Simple again, you think by now I would have this down, NOT..
Simple... what I remember is the building looked like its best days were over back in 64. Been back to Roxborough/Yunk area over the years for family visits and always make first stop at D'Alessando's... even though not family owned last time in town it was still one of the world's great sandwiches... and i have eaten all over the world. Last time I was in downtown Philadephia was at least 5 years ago... went to Independence Hall, Mint, etc. That day I came back up past the Art Museum and on the East River Drive... exactly where I was the afternoon JFK was shot... going home to get ready for our prom and I heard the news on WIBG.
You know when I tell people our Senior Prom was the day Kennedy got shot. They are like, wait a minute he got shot in November. I'm like yeah, what about it. Well they don't have Proms in November. Well they had that one in November. I never had a good experience at a Prom. Most of the time I wound up fighting with my date, and most of them I didn't like anyway. One of them, no names as she is well known it the ville here. Punched me right in my face. I deserved it, but it was actually The General's fault. Yo, General where the fuck are ya..!!!!!! SOUPY SALES!! He used to golf with Plain, Monk and Babe....
Troc spelled backwards is cort and ive been to both many times .....smiles
Another great job turned in by Strebor.
Very astute thoughts Anon. and it was Tempest Storm that was the big name stripper there.Even Gypsie Rose Lee was at the trocadario The guy telling the jokes was none other than Peanuts from Manayunk.
Oh yeah, I was comin out of the tuxedo store on the Ridge when I heard he had been shot. I remember they closed the Latin Casino, went to the Hawaiian cottage..Another wonderful night in the world of Simple. PUDDIN Head Jones (3rd baseman Phila. Phillies, Whiz Kids) ole Puddin Head, ball could hit him in the head and stick to the catchers mitt. His head was sticky man..
Hey my word is heydog. Dat me, I de hedog!! She da shedog. That's why you love me, baby.. Hey McCool, McCool, anybody new sign on. I see where you can go to Google and type in kidcandle.blogspot.com and come in the back door..
I looked up that Virgina Belle name and Porn came up on my comp.ive been stuck on that the last 5 hours.
And we played golf today Simple, we are ready for the Senior tour.
I always had fun at the proms, never got lucky so I quit going to them about Three years ago.
Alright baseball practice be back lata.......seeeeeeeee ya
oppppps Ginger Rodgers
Plain!! runs over and hugs him.. Hi Plain, missed ya man. When we gonna grille, I mean, interrogate Sammy. Wanna do it tonite before we shut down the town?? I don't want to keep him locked up to long. He is eatin all my penis, I mean peanuts.. Damn..
Forgot to do my name game. Name game: Plain Plain bo Flain bananna fanna fo Fain fe fi mo main Plain.. Da name game... B
Boris KarLOAF, as Strebor would say Fankenstein... Mary Mary bo Fary bananna fanna fo fary fi fo mo mary Mary....let's do SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shutup Shutup bo futup bannana fanna fo futup fe fi mo mutup shuuuutup!!!!OK
Sometimes, I wonder why I got Simple instead of Plain?? Don't get it..
Yo, my word is acidbroth..
That is soup made out of LSD..
Don't get involved with the Grand Jury.....Didn't Regali just say last week that there are no Priests anywhere in the area that have been suspected or charged with any accusations? Guess he wasn't at the Grand Jury Trial. (21) A substantial number. Dr. Gregory House said it best, "Everybody Lies".
yo PLAIN SAID....stuck in porn 4 last 5 hrs. hope wash hands before prectice. But then again PLAIN is the batting coach. EWWwww! Practice man, we talkin about pratice!
All this talk about the Troc is making me blush. I remember Roman's Senior Prom being on the night that JFK got shot. Almost everything was shut down except Roman's Prom and The Hawiaian Cottage. Was there ever a good reason given as to why the prom was held in November?
Kevin Bacon
Jack Ham (former Pitts. Steeler)
Chris Hamburger (former Wash.Redskin)
My secret work is crogn - is Sammy crogn yet.
Sammy Sammy Bo Mammy Bannana Fanna Fo Fammi Fe Fi Mo Mammy SAMMMMMMEEE
Thas rite keep quite Sam, you will be chirpin in a little while. My nut hoardin friend. We have to get this interrogation over with tonite. Sammy is scheduled to be on Hoarders next week.. Should be a good show. There is one scene where he tries to drag a CocoNUT into his hole. Funny Shit...
I never knew why our prom was held in November... if I recall correctly the main prom itself was at the Commodore Barry Inn (?) somewhere up on (again digging into the cobweb part of the memory) Lincloln Drive... somewhere up past the creek where they filmed the John Travolta movie murder car crash where he was a sound engineer many years later.
I remember the Latin Casino was closed... also ended up at the Hawaiin Cottage and then went down to see the sun rise freezing our ass somehere near Ocean City... gave up and had an early brakfast at the diner at the circle and then tired as hell took my date home to Norristown and having her parents tell her she was supposed to be home by 2:00 AM and it was 7:30... never saw her after that she broke up with me on via a phone message to my Mom.
Pat, I believe the Prom was in the gym at Roman. My date was a girl from Fairmount, I didn't want to go. Pat Renshaw and Danny Crocco talked me into it. I kinda liked her but I should have known somethin was up, when I took her too the drive-in and she wouldn't even throw me a pitch to get to first base. We get to the prom and off she goes, had a crush on one of the football players, and hung around him and his group most of the night, she didn't even dance with me. Another guy might have been angry and another guy might have been hurt. Me, I just wanted to get it over with. We had breakfast at my house and I think I asked somebody to take her home as I went to bed. Strongly disliked that bitch.. Anyway as fate would allow, about 7 years ago they had a Roman, Hallahan reunion and I was walkin around with Billy Keenan, when lo and behold in front of me is none other than my old prom date Donna (no last name needed) I looked at her from the back and when she turned her head to talk, I could see though the putty that her face had become that it was her, then I heard one of the beasts in her herd say her name. She had on a MooMoo to hide her 400 pound frame. Ah as fate would allow, I gulped down my cocktail told Billy hang here a minute I will be right back.. Went to the food table, made a ham and cheese sandwich, pretty large and stuffed it in my pocket... Went back to Billy and said come on man, watch this. I sashay on up, and say Donna!! She looks at me with her puffed up eyes and says yeah, who are you. I say Ernie Keebler, she picks up one of her porkified arms and puts it to her mouth. Mouthing OHH!! I said here I got ya somethin, with that I pull out the ham and cheese sandwich from my pocket and tell her it looks like you ate everything else in here you might as well eat this.. She sorta started gruntin like she was goin to attack, and I said here take it. That's when I felt a hand on my collar and Billy pullin my away sayin, are you outta your mind? I said know man, just servin up some revenge.., when I told him what happened all those long years ago, he told me go get a roast beef sandwich and he would give it to her. Yeah Baby..
I don't remember the prom being in the 3rd floor gym ... I know I drove(whole Kennedy thing) and don't remember driving to Broad and Vine and parking... did we have split proms... because I do remember the place on Lincoln Drive and Father Kline being at the door checking for booze (so he could refill his stash)???
The girl I asked to the prom I met that summer at some lake and amusement park way up on Route 422(name long forgotten)... she was from Noristown and her father owned Victory Metals... I remember she wore a white rabbit fur wrap and a Blue velvet dress... I did my best Bobby Vinton impression all night long singing it while trying to get my hands under that dress... I never got beyond second base... damn Catholic girls.
21 suspended priests:
1.Philip Barr
Pastor Emeritus, St. Edmond's, Philadelphia
2.John Bowe
Saint Joseph's, Warrington, Pa.
3.George Cadwallader
Saint Vincent De Paul, Richboro, Pa.
4.Paul Castellani
Saint Philomena's, Lansdowne, Pa.
5.Michael Chapman
Ascension of Our Lord, Philadelphia
6.Msgr. John Close
7.Msgr. Francis Feret
Saint Adalbert's, Philadelphia
8.Mark Fernandes
Saint Agnes, Sellersville, Pa.
9.Msgr. Michael Flood
Saint Luke the Evangelist, Glenside, Pa.
10.Mark Gaspar
Our Lady of Charity, Brookhaven, Pa.
11.Joseph Glatts
12.Steven Harris
13.Daniel Hoy
14.Msgr. Joseph Logrip
Saint Stanislaus, Lansdale, Pa.
15.Andrew McCormick
Sacred Heart, Swedesburg, Pa.
16.Zachary Navit
17.Leonard Peterson
Saint Maria Goretti, Hatfield, Pa.
18.Robert Povish
Chaplain, State Correctional Institute, Graterford
Saint Eleanor Rectory, Collegeville, Pa.
19.John Reardon
Saint John Of The Cross Rectory, Roslyn, Pa.
20.Thomas Rooney
21.Peter Talocci
HOB... I must have been one homely looking kid because when I was in grade school I had a lot of interaction with priests and not one of them ever attempted to molest me.
I think Ernie had too many Fudge cookies... so omebody tell me I am not senile (yet) and that the 11-23-63 RCHS prom was NOT held in the gym. I got the yearbook up in the attic... I'll go up there in the AM and try and dig it out.
Hey Pat, I still think the gym, but you know me unless a fact is a fact, I ain't arguing. You could be right. Let me know.. Dan, I don't even want to go there on Ash Wednesday.. There is nothing I despise more in this world than a child molester. We can talk about it another time.. Pat I must admit our EL fudge cookies are tremendous....
YOu have a newbe - Slick was reading all your posts
Welcome SusannF! Goodnight all!
WHERE DID THEY SEND ALL THOSE pRIEST "BOYS TOWN" ?
And hello Susann, nice of you to come join us.We need all the new talent we can get.
Now where is that nut case Simple,we have a tree rat to grill .
Ya know Sammy the squirrel should kidnap Charie Sheean and Gary Busey he would never have to look for another nut again in life ! Just my opinion.
You know what Plain, your really asking where is Simple, RIGHT HERE.
Hey who is susannf, did she pay her dollar..Maybe she is really sweetheart. Hey susannf, anybody in Plain and Simpleville look familiar.. Plain when you wanna grill, oops I mean interrogate Sammy?? The little fella is fallen asleep, has a nut in his mouth, I don't think it is Sheen or Busey, just looks like a cashew..
Ok guys and our new friend Slick susannf. It is a little cold out on the steets of Plain and Simpleville. We are getting a lot of people visiting, hope they all sign in and become our long time friends. Look up and down the Boulevard of Loons, kinda quiet right now. All the little loons hittin the rack are they? Hey come on in again tomorrow, bring some energy, get away from the real world for a little while, and have some fun with Plain and Simple.. Sooner or later that squirrel is going to get his just due.. Dark and quiet my friends. Stay Out Of Harms Way.. TAPS
Alright i'll grill this nut sucker Sammy myself.Walks into the cage.....don't try anything foolish Sammy unless you want crushed nuts!.....The main thing is here Simple wants to know if there is noise when a tree falls in the forrest?
Sammy's answer..Well Dude,except for the cracking sound and the thud and branches breaking and me waking up yelling OHHHHHHH SHIT thats about all there was.
Well how come you weren't hurt Sammy ?
I'm a flying Squirrel daaaaaa
Dont get cocky with me Sammy,Another thing I wanna know is why after you landed you ran and dove in the water, and you started doing a back stroke, whats up with that ?
Daaaaa I wanted to keep my nuts dry !And it's eaiser to just wing it, my underarms are like web feet.
So your telling me there is noise when a tree falls in the forrest?
Wow dude you really have a flare for the obivious. And yes there is noise and there is alot more if people are under it, most animals are fast enough to get out of the way. Now if there is a Moose and it's maiting season and there under it you would think Harry Truman was bombing Krakatoa !
You have a good sense of humor Sammy why did you pick this place to hang out?
Dude have you seen all the nuts in here ?
Point well taken Sammy, I'm going to let you go, opens the door to the cage, take care Sammy and stop back I think Simple likes ya !
Ive been eyeing that nut up for awhile Take care Plain it's been a real nothing. scurries on outta here.
You know, you do this shit all the time Plain, and by the way, in your last post I guess you know you called me Plain.. I gotta admit, you didn't need me, that interrogation of that furry rat was one of your best.. Just like you Plain, you are one of the best. Love Ya My Friend. Now please go too sleep TAPS AGAIN...
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