"It Is Now Post Time.
"We're Off" Or to put it more bluntly, we are really off.. When does it stop.. I don't really know anybody that is in their sixty's or seventies and act like they are still 21, except my friends. I don't count because I act like I am 12...I have a lot of tales too tell. I can't get started right now..,except for one of my favorites. A little known face. Fort Myers Island was once the hideout of the infamous pirate, Calico Jack.. You may never have heard of Calico Jack, but he is one interesting dude.. He is not as famous, per say, as a Sir Francis Drake (The Greatest Pirate That Ever Sailed The High Seas.), nor a BlackBeard. (Richard Treach) or even Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), but he is noted for something that none of these fellows was every recorded doing.. Number 1. Calico Jack did not only attack Merchant Ships.. He attacked any ship that ventured into his large realm in The Gulf Of Mexico.. He attacked private vessels, military vessels, pleasure ships, in other words any ship that happened ot be in his scope.., but his real claim too fame was his deck mates were no other than Ann Bonny, and another female pirate that went by the name of Terrible O. because she never revealed her identity as a woman, until a sword fight broke out and she was cut on her right breast...When Calico Jack found this out, he did not have her walk the plank..He was already banging Ann Bonny, so he just invited Terrible O into the bedroom and had the first recorded Menage A Trois on the High Seas... You heard it hear first on Plain and Simple. My salute to Calico Jack is a straight with no chaser. (Just like the best Accapella group I have heard in years.) of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum... MMMM!
12 comments:
I just want to take a time out, to thank Jimmy Mc for checking on the Ville while I was hard at work in South Florida.. Some great pictures and some of the more profound statements you may ever here on this blog.. Sooooooooooo.
From Plain and Simle.
THANKS JIMMY!!!!!! (oh yeah, and carol)..shhhhhh.
What is this Chitt, an adminstrator removed a Post???????? A Post removed on Plain and Simple ?That's why I hate Bosses they are like Dipers always on your ass and Usually full of Chitt! Now I have to get to the Bottom of this. Someone is acting like an Ass(bottom ass) I don't wanna be the butt of that joke, but there's no rules in Plain and Simple There's no removal here! I'll be back.
Calico Jack was John Rackmom an English Priate he lived from 1682 until1720 when he was hanged, he had gotton a Pardon but went back to Priating because he loved to watch people walk the Plank! He would make them wear Red then throw them into the blue Sea, so they would be MAROONED haaaaaaaaaaaaa oh chitttttt MAROONED, slaps my Knee and Gaffaws.
Anywho he got the Name Calico from the cloths he wore, and it's a lil known fact ht designed the Jolly Rodger Flag nods yep he did. And he had two woman A Broad smirks one Mary Read and his lover Anne Bonny. Now this Mary Read dressed as a guy, I don't wanna Read anything into this smirks But it's also a lil known fact that this is where cross dressing Started, And Calico also started the saying switch hitter and a/c d/c and you heard it all here on Plain and Simple
What the fuck Plain, I just did the dirty deed on old Calico, and I did not know he invented the jolly roger..Chitt!!!
Yo Plain!! don't go gettin all ballistic on me. I removed the comment because it came up twice. Sorta like Calico Jack.. to use a Plainism... Oh Chitt came twice guffaw, ouch, oww, hurt my fuckin knee..but I don't care that was a good old fashioned knee slappin remark by this Simpleton...
I dont get Ballistic Simple, not like Mary Read anyway.Ya see no one knew Mary Read was a chick on Calico Jacks ship, she dressed like a guy and could sword fight with the best of them.One time while fighting along side of Calico Jack he/she had the crotch cut out of her Pants and the First mate was yelling he got his Balls cut off, and he/she kept on fighting like nothing happened, and it didn't except the crotch being cut out off the pants.But it's a lil known fact that this is where the saying "Cut his Balls off" came from and " Balls to the wall" The only one that knew it was her Bussom Buddy Anne Bonny they would giggle at nite as a Matter of fact Anne Bonny is the one that wrote that Poem.
" Mary had a lil Scam" "Her Balls would never show" "And everywhere that Mary went, so would Calico "
You are quite welcome for carrying the torch of life around the Ville. We all missed the musings of you two sages. Keep up the good work and plan for your next adventure...........
Jim Finn McCool we couldn't do it without you .And again you did a great Job as always.
Just love pirate stories!!!!!!!
Rides thru the Ville on my tri-cycle in my Yellow Rain Coat and hat yelling Buon Nataleeeeeeeeeeeeeee
The Ville is up and running and so are the critters.. Me and Mere are hitting the rack.. ARRRRRR!!!!
"Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends."
TAPS
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