"It Is Now Post Time"
We're Off..I always like the fact that I can come into Plain and Simpleville and get a laugh or two..I like the fact that at this time of year, we keep it light ala Jimmy Mc and Strebor, but I would be amiss, if I didn't mention today, that this is the day our Mom passed 21 years ago. I just want to say that I know all of you have your own trials and tribulations that we all bear throughout this life, and I feel for you and with you..and this one for us was a huge loss and especially with my Dad already down with a stroke, it was a brutal shock, and the end result was the fact that I could take some solace in knowing, The Good Lord did not let her suffer, as she passed quickly. My fathers condition would have bee a slow death for her..So, instead of making today a solemn day about her death, let's make it a day of happiness as usual here at Plain and Simple..She would like that a lot better anyway..So, Mom R.I.P. we all miss you, thank you for being the best Mom we could ever have had, and don't get mad at us here at Plain and Simple because we curse and holler and well, you know some of us drink a little too much.., I know deep down you would have enjoyed it here, and who knows maybe you do...I Love You...
So, as all of our dearly departed loved ones would want, we move on..Christmas ONE WEEK away, bring on those cartoons...You have the Snow Meister and the Rudolph one that is older than me. You have Frosty and Jack Frost and The Island Of Lost Toys., many, many more...I am shutting down for breakfast at Tiffany's, or the Red Lion Diner out on Rt. 70. Guess I might as well go to the Red Lion Diner it is much closer...You citizens and visitors all know, this Simpleton regularly inhabits any WaWa he can find, in fact if it were'nt for WaWa I would have starved to death years ago. For those of you that don't know they have these gift cards where you can put down 5 or 10 dollars and give them too anyone you want..ahem!..then they can go to WaWa and use them just like money ahem!....Boy that would be a nice present for someone that inhabits a WaWa half their lives ahem!. I sure would do it for somebody like that.. Hey Plain!! you awake, wouldn't that be a nice gift from you to anyone you know that inhabits the WaWa half their live. ahem! Hope you are feeling better brother,... How about WaWa coming out with those gift cards isn't that amazing. ahem! Oh yeah before I go, you know what one of my pet peeves is around this time of year, some idiot fishin for a gift. Doesn't that make you sick???? OK cartoons and a good day here at the Ville..SEEYA LATER. Enjoy your football and welcome back J Roll..!!!1
See you on the clouds Mom...Merry Christmas..R.I.P.
9 comments:
Nothing is dark when talking about our Mom. She was the greatest and she is still missed every day.
WaWa, WeWe, WiWi, WoWo, WuWu!!!!!
I'm laying here in my sick bed and something is really bothering me. Maybe one of you can help me out. If the rule is i before e except after c. Then isn't Science spelled wrong ?
And stop begging Simple is shows a sign of weakness.
There is only one answer:
TRADITION
Tell ya what Plain get better quick your mean when your sick..Oh by the way that was grovelling not begging. Get the two right.. Yes, science is spelled wrong especially if you say so..LOL!! get better will ya.
Well what do ya know, here it is the 13th game of a fine eagles season their record is 5-8 and mathematically they can still win their division.. What happened to the NFL? I see where there is a game on Christmas night. I also must say at this time I have not watched one full game on the NFL schedule. What is wrong with me? Besides short pockets and no action, boredom. The game honestly bores me, it is 31/2 hours of bullshit and a 1/2 hour of football..Enjoy the day my friends. Yo! did anybody ever see a Charlie Brown Christmas.. OOPS I meant did anyone not ever see a Charlie Brown Christmas, I think that one might be older than me.. No fuckin way.....
Christmas, decorations, at the Dornhisers........
First set up the tree in its stand, make sure you get one where the butt fits in the stand if you don't you will be sawing and splintering for hours and there will be Colorado Blue Spruce or Douglas Fir needles going into your feet in July..
After the forrest is put into the stand,, it is time for the adjustment stage at this time the head of the household usually the wife (Gert) will stand about 5 feet from the tree while you (Mel) the tree holder are directed to either move it left or right, or right or left, or not enough to the right or not enough to the left..After about an hour or two of this the tree is still tiltled a wee bit to the left and an argument usually ensues as to who should be holding the tree.
OK, let's assume after three hours the tree is straight. Lets get the lights out of their boxes, that are older than Dorian Grey...Gotta test every light bulb, as if one is out they are all out..After testing every light bulb roughly 4 hours, and you catch a Christmas break, they all work. You start wrapping them around the tree branch by branch, shall we plug them in Gert, not yet Mel..we will do it when the children get here. We are done for now, they will be here with the grandkids in a about an hour.. OH look Mel it is snowing. Yeah, but Gert, little Mel has an hour drive down the parkway hope he doesn't run into any traffic problems.. No, he will be fine, it is Doris, and that no good husband of hers, what's his name? You know his name is Fred, Gert they have been married for 15 years. I just never cared much for him. Yeah, he knows that. Listen I am getting an egg nog and watching some football, if I doze off, I am sure I will be awakened by the 6 little Dornhisers when they bust through the door .. More on the Dornhisers Decoration day later. Mel is snoozing .......
Who the hell are the Dornhiser's?
Get better oh great jedi Plain!
The Dornhisers are great and wondrous friends of mine, if it is any of your business Strebor.. They are known from Camden to Newark for their Chritmas spirit and the decorations that they put on their house every year..
Back to decortions at the Dornhisers.
MEL!! MEL!! WHATTTTTT!!! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS YELLING????!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU BEEN SLEEPING FOR THREE HOURS!!!!!!!!!!YOU DRANK ALL THE EGG NOG AND DORIS AND WHAT'S HIS NAME ARE HERE!!!!!!GET UP!!!!!!!!! Mel, thinking too himself one day she is gone down..Hello Doris, hello Fred. Hi Daddy smooch smooch, OW!! what the f....little Fred McSnarls just kicked Mel in his shim. Fred insists he is going to be an NFL field goal kicker and refuses to correct him when he kicks anything. What the hell is wrong with that kid?? He gotta stop kickin things. Fred pipes right up: ha you won't be saying that the day he wins the Super Bowl..HHAHAAH.. Hey Dad got any egg nog..NO HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY EGG NOG, HE DRANK IT ALL. I'LL GO GET SOME!!!!!!!! Doris chimes in with, do you two always have to scream at each other?? NO ONLY WHEN HE DRINKS TOO MUCH.. DON'T WORRY ABOUT MY DRINKIN GERT..WORRY ABOUT THE HAM THAT I SMELL BURNIN.. YIKES MY HAM... Hey where is little Mel.. Oh Daddy didn't Mom tell you the parkway is shut down to the ten inches of snow that fell in the last two hours. It took us over 2 hours to get here. We are going to have to spend the night..GERT, I AM GOING TO THE WAWA GOTTA GET MORE NOG.. YOU'LL FREEZE TO DEATH YOU IDIOT!!!! HEY GERT REMEMBER I BOUGHT THE FOUR WHELL DRIVE JEEP FOUR YOURS AGO DUMBO!!!! Come on Fred lets go get some nog..Walking by Doris Mel says, you better straigten that kid out he kicks me again, I'm kicking him back..HEY GERT THAT HAM SMELLS BURNT!! DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT MEL JUST GO GET SOME MORE NOG, JUST WHAT YOU NEED!!! AND HURRY BACK WE HAVE TO FINISH DECORATING THE TREE..WHAT ABOUT LITTLE MEL!!!! WELL EVIDENTLY IF THE PARKWAY CLOSING HE AIN'T MAKIN IT!!! CALL HIS CELL PHONE YOU WENCH!! I ALREADY CALLED HIM WHY YOU WERE PASSED OUT, HE SAID HE IS GETTING A ROOM FOR THE NIGHT AND WON'T BE HERE TILL TOMORROW!!! Good three less kids I gotta put up with.. WHAT WAS THAT MEL!!! WHAT WERE YOU MUMBLING!! I was telling Fred let's get going.. This should be fun when the Dornhisers finally decorate the tree. Love these cuddly family Christmas stories..Why the guys go get some nog. I am going to get a sangrich...
We will see how the Dornhisers make out tomorrow night.. I gotta go pull the plug on a giant grinch.. These critters are driving me nuts, with their Christmas decorations..Looks like Chartlesville, Pa.
Hey guys, gotta put the grinch to sleep, it is getting near TAPS. OK Sample ve art tired from a long veekend..ve vill pullt da plag in 2 or 3 hours.. Not, two or three hours Blat now....ok, Sample, youf might be da granch.. Yeah I'm the granch...ComeMere.. Can you give me a hand Simple I am a little unsteady on my toes tonight, yeah comeMere..Phew the shit I gotta put up with around here.
"Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends.
R.I.P. Mom
TAPS
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