"It Is Now Post Time."
We're Off. Get back from a little PLain and Simple Vacation, and what is it like here at the Ville!! I'll tell ya what it is like.. It is so fuckin dark I tripped over a passed out Slav laying in a monsoon..I had to drag his drunken ass into my bunker and he smelled worse than the goat that, somehow had already gotten in there..Welcome back Simple.. Stumble back to my car to get more gear out and the winds are howling and this bunch of feathers goes flying by my head ARKIN!!! I'm Flying, I'm Flying!! YOU ALWAYS COULD FLY YOU FUCKIN MORON YOU ARE A PARROT!!!! Maybe he will get blown to Hammonton...Anyway I am back.. One down and one too go.. Yeah down goes Father Christmas for another year, bur HARK!! (not ARK!), we are not done yet..Oh no, not this time of year we get the double whammy, that's right another Holiday right behind the big one..NEW YEARS.. How I despise this fuckin day and the things that are done in the name of a New Year...Do the sheople realize that the Reaper just gained another year on their sorry asses? Do they realize that they themselves are going to be a year older..Do they look in the mirror and say YAY!!! can't wait to celebrate that wrinkle..Do they really enjoy standing at Times Square, waiting for a fucking ball to drop.. They are smashed in like cattle, they cannot urinate they cannot drink or eat,, what the fuck!!!! is that fun???Then lo and behold Dick the Wick Clark (looks like he is made from wax) makes an appearance..(time to retire wick) you got your 10 billion..another one that has to go away..Bring back Guy Lombardo LOL!!!! Last year I heard that Snookie that poisened dwarf from Jersey Shore was going to be inside the ball. Could you imagine that thing jumping out of the ball at the stroke of midnight all juiced up and yelling FUCK YOU!!! I ain't wishin anybody happy new year, and in turn they don't have to wish me one..As we speak Greeny is back with all kinds of Plumes and banjos and harmonicas and saxophones...Yep, that can only mean one thing YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the critters are planning their own MUMMERS PARADE..What the fuck do I do now?? This is not real (I know I just had to throw that in there), or is it..I scare Strebor because when I talk to her, I talk as if this were all real..Who knows maybe it is?? Phil The Thrill always says The Shadow Knows, then asks me if I know who The Shadow is..I told him only the Shadow knows who he is...Phew The Shit I gotta put up with around here.. More on the New Year (GAG!!) New Years Eve (GAG SQUARED) Crittters, Mummers Parade, and the realization that the Ville is actually real.. That's right little Strebor maybe the next time I am in town I will bring Meere with me......
6 comments:
Whooooooo Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Of course Lamont Cranston Knows, he's right up there with Clairvoyant. And where the Hell were you Simple? Ive had thousand's of people calling me asking where you were. I told them last I heard was you were with Five Queens down Harrahs. They all took it the wrong way saying shit like wow wheres he get the stamina, some said Pervert! I didn't want to ruin the image so I just said Yeah.Anywho Simple welcome back and you Have Seatle in the 33 Pool. It got hit by Billy Boone my new best Friend for 2700, not a bad days work.I'll be back, shrugs and walks away.
How about that Billy Boone, congrats, everybody could use some bucks now a days..I guess this is the last of the 33 pool as the football season winds down to one more boring week, then playoffs and the ever important bowl games..I have sent an offical notice to the NFL, that at the next meeting of owners and coaches or whoever makes up the rules, that they should start reviewing every play. They should also no be allowed to hit the quarterback at all..The pass rush should be limited to walking in, and all running backs should have too wear a towel, if the defense can rip the towel off of him, he will be considered down..You would have five downs to make it 20 yards for a first down.Each quarter will be an hour long and half time would be two hours.. This way that boring fucking shit can be on 24 hours a day every day..I hope they pass it, I would love to see the sheople walking around with their electronic gizmos tuned into Monday night football on Tuesday morning..The BCS on the other hand is a bigger joke than the NFL..Is there anything left in our Country that has not been so sloshed down with rules and regulations that almost all sports and news shows are becoming nothing but boring..Hollywood cannot come out with a new movie, everything is a redo, you know like Shit Bag Cruise in the best ever mission impossible.. I wish he would go on a mission impossible..Scrooge was filmed in various forms almost 100 times, we only did it once here at the Ville and it was a disaster..Just can't wait for this weekend and the so called holiday that will be celebrated..I gotta get outta the Ville again and go hide somewhere..Although the Ville is a pretty good place to hide out..I don't feel like watching a bunch of stumbling Slavs and NAHHHHHHHHING goats. ARKING!!! Parrots, Parrots and the rest of these critters marching around in ostrich plumes, on 1/1/12..Hey did I ever tell you the story, about when I saw two ostriches fuckin at great adventure, looked like a mummers parade..there were a lot of plumes flying that day....
Ok who is Billy Boone?//////////LOL
That is me..about billy boone
Billy Boone is of the famous Boone family of which Daniel was also a member. WTF am I typing this shit; this is Plain's job. Take it away Plain......................
Oh dem golden slippers, oh dem golden slippers, I can just see the Big E at every wedding we ever attended doing his famous mummer's strut yelling "here they come up Broad Street". DatDatDatDat.....
DatDatDatDat....oh dem golden slippers!
Little known fact.. Billy Boone of the Manayunk Boones tends bar at ECKS, when he is no exploring or hanging out in Rabbit Hash Kentucky..Little known fact Rabbit Hash Kentucky is the only town in America where a dog ia the Mayor. Yep, a dog, you heard it hear first at Plain and Simple and if you ever doubt us, go right ahead and look it up...
Plain is probably dreaming of sugar plums or golf balls or some kinda balls right now..He had a lot of beer and vodka in that station wagon the other night, also as he gave us the finger I thought his passenger side rear tire was flat..and the muffler was dragging down the road..but he was HO HO HOING so loud and yelling that he couldn't heed my warning. Who knows what time he finally parked.., Do me a favor please, don't start with Dem Goldne Slippers already..There will be enough coming in the near future...I kinda do like the clown brigades all 3 million of them. They start like midnight and march up Broad St. while people are still making out with their neighbors wife, after wishing each other Happy New Year.When I used to celebrate this stupid ass Holiday, I once went to kiss sometbody at a party and damn near put my fuckin eye out as her clown hat dropped onto here nose and went right into my eye ball.. That and the time the transvestite kissed me did me the fuck in.. No more New Years Eves celebrations..Did watch two minutes of the mummers parade last year..that was about 6 a.m. just too make sure the clowns were still a marchin..As for this clowns and that troupe of critters I live with it is now rack time..
"Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends."
TAPS
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