Thursday, December 8, 2011

"Today Is The 8th Day Of December In The Year Of Our Lord 2011."

"It Is Now Post Time."
We're Off.  I saw where a writer friend of mine one, Larry McMullen, from the Philadelphia Daily News has passed away. (R.I.P.).  I met Larry back in the seventies, yeah I remember some parts of them Plain.  He actually covered Bombay Ducks run to the Kentucky Derby and was on the bus with me on that wild ride to Kentucky..I got to the bus driver early, and had the guitar and the microphone a strummin and a singin. My man joined right in.. Gave a nice write up and described the trip pretty well. Very good writer and a lot of fun.  Amazing on this journey they call life how many people you meet for the first time, and connect with them immediately, seems like you knew them your whole life. Then there are people you have known your whole life and,  you never really connect with them, or you find out you never really knew them.. You know like relatives at  a wedding, you are at the table, you are talking, you have known them your whole life, but do you really know them. I think in most cases no, you probably don't. Of course there is always that ten percent..
Movin on much like time in Japan, Hawaii, California, and the East Coast.. Glad you guys got all that right and especially the part about the International Date Line.. I remember crossing it for the first time, and wondered if we kept flying back and forth if we would never grow old..Nothing wrong with that logic..Well it seemed logical at the time..Cape May run coming up here shortly, like the fudge run to Cape May every year, neat little town, especially during the Christmas Season.. Place is really a quaint old town.. I never went there in the summer, but sure have enjoyed it in the winter.. There is a bar called the Ugly Mug. You can get  a mug with your name on it, and they hang it around the bar, when you take the dirt nap, they turn it away from the ocean.  I buy one every year, they are going to have a hard time figuring out who all these Ernie's are.
On to a little baseball winter meeting. Keep the Phils in tact for a few more years, they did win 102 games last year, and I would like to see Rollins stay with the team.. He is an integral part of the winning spirit this team has shown over the past 5 years, and I honestly believe barring any real significant injuries that the Phils will be in the mix for years to come..I know, I know it is December, still like talking baseball. I am about done with football.
WHAT IS HALF THIS SOCIETY INTO MOLESTING CHILDREN.. Here we go, now it is the Boston Red Sox, and Scumdusky gets locked up again. Why was he out of jail in the first place.. See if he could rape another kid before he starts getting raped.. Disgusting..
Well let's get lighter, for the rest of the day.. Of course you can bring anything you like..., but last night I watched, one my top ten all time funniest movies..National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, just one scene and I will elaborate on some other scenes later.. Here is Clark trapped in the attic, freezing his nuts off, when he locates old movies of him and his family when he was young.. He has also wrapped himself in fur and an old time woman's hat and as he is sitting there watching himself as a child and crying his wife opens the attic stairs and my man just falls right on through in a flash. The guy cannot catch a break.. Me, I am takin one right now. Got any memorable Griswold Christmas scenes that you like bring them on.  Later..

12 comments:

Strebor said...

The squirrel on Griswold's back and when he opens the door and it lands on Julia Louise Dreyfus's face. Hilarious!
Not much on laughter today; yesterday's rain caused some problems in my house. Won't bore you with the details.
Right on Bro re: the Phillies - hope JRoll is with us for a few more years. I certainly will not forget that they won 102 games last year and will never be anything but a true fan, just like our beloved Uncle Rocco. He never gave up on them whether they were down or up.
A true Griswold moment: when Santa Claus brought you your first Lionel train set and you convinced the Big E to let you run them. You turned the set on full blast which caused that big black engine to catapult right off the platform causing it to land right on Big E's barefeet-right on his big toe! I know you remember it well.

Scumdusky doesn't even deserve a trial and Mrs. Scumdusky should be put away also! Disgusting!!

Plain said...

Ditto

Jim Mc said...

Wow, the International, you are really trying to fuck me up. If I go back and forth across it on Christmas, will it always be Christmas? What day would it be if you go across on Monday and come back on Tuesday at 1600 hours? Now you gave me something to ponder for a Christmas Trip.

Jim Mc said...

I have sovled my dilemma.......Tonaga and Samoa!!!!!!
On the time and date codes,Tonga and Samoa have the same time but are one day apart, as Samoa is in the Western Hemisphere, on the opposite side of the International Dateline from Tonga.

As you travel further west, the time in Fiji is one hour earlier than Tonga. You will also notice that Hawaii, further to the east of Samoa, is one hour later in time.

So, if I travel east across the International Date Line results in a day, or 24 hours, being subtracted. Travel west across the International Date Line results in a day being added.
So that being said what day is it in Jersey today? and in Tonga what day will it be tomorrow?

Simple said...

OK, trying to solve more time problems for McFinn. Little known fact, Tonga or Tonaga, as McFinn reefered, I mean referred to it, was a little weirder than Samoa because the Tonganese were on the wrong side of the International Date Line and were always behind in everything they did, much like Plain on Pacific Coast Time (he doesn't know I changed it..Hahah), I digress. The Tonganese would go head hunting in Samoa and Fiji and catch all of their human prey a day aHEAD of time. Yep, the Somoans would be yelling Ukkaka lalay ahhh looohaa wowowo on blue hawaiiiiii, as they were being led to the pit..The Tonganese would then stoke up the barbecue pit with palm fronds and coconut husks MMMM you can smell it now..They would then take the largest Somoan, some of them range in the 500 lb. category, crack his noggin with a coconut hatchet, many uses in The South Pacific for coconuts.. They would then bend him over a falllen coconut tree, rip of his hula kilt, and stick a rather large skewer up his rectum and out his mouth. they would then lather him or her up in coconut oil, (they watched what they ate), then lower him into the barbecue pit and cook him for 24 hours, now here is where it gets hairy. Well not the Samoan as they don't have much hair anyway and what they have is immediatly burnt off. No, what gets hairy is the time. Because they are on the other side of the International Date Line they are never sure if they have cooked his ass and the rest of him for the called for day or if they have been cooking him for two days.. This led the English Explorers under Captain Cook, to finally realize how meat in many of its forms became delicious to eat when cooked right, or tough and hardened when cooked to long. Once Cookie (what a great name for the Explorer of the Pacific) and his legions realized that these Samoan People eaters were actually eating people and shrinking heads, they sailed up to Fiji to see what time it was and why would anyone eat someone else...Well let me tell you I could go on and on about what Cookie and the crew did too the Tonganese, Fijiens, and Tibetin Monks, but it is a little known fact, therefore I know little about it.. I gotta find out what time it is.. HEY SAMMY YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?? SOMEBODY IS TALKING ABOUT A SQUIRREL IN SOME MOVIE JUMPIN ON SOME CHICKS HEAD WAS THAT YOU? Ten after three, thanks Sam.. Hey Sam, you know what time it is on Bora Bora..HUMMM CHHCHAAALLALA HUUMMMMFM MAMMMALLAAYAA HUMMMMPH HUMMMMPPH HUMMMMMMMPH.. Alright critters enough with the Tonganese eating songs.....Phew the shit I gotta put up with around here..This recipe was enjoyed for many years in the South Pacific, North of The International Date Line, and only on a Sunday or if you were South of The International Date Line only on a Sunday.. On these last notes and little known facts, I hope I helped McFinn decipher time in a more clear cut fashion...You are welcome McFinn. HUMMPPH MMUUUU HUUMMMPPHHH

Plain said...

Wlil I fnialyl gto taht dargon so I wnot hvae any porbelm seplling aynmroe.

Where the hell did you guys get into talking about Cannibal's ? I just mentioned about the international Date line and it leads to this?

I do have one question tho, If those Somoans ate a Clown would it taste Funny haaaaaaaaaaaaaa chittt.

Simple said...

Tongoan Captain to his cooks,,,THESE SAMOANS ARE TOUGH!!! WATCH HOW LONG YOU COOK THEM!!! MORE COCONUT WINE!!! ARE WE FINISHED EATING!!! Yes oh glorious eight hundred and four pound Captain of the long boat!! TIME TO DANCE!!! EVERYBODY IN LINE, KNEES BENT, ARMS FOLDED IN FRONT OF CHEST, PICK ONE LEG UP AND STOMP THE FUCKIN THING INTO THE GROUND AS HARD AS YOU CAN. READY FIRST LEG UP THEN DOWN, LET OUT THE SOUND HUMPHHHHH, NEXT LEG UP AND MOVE FORWARD, DOWN AND LET OUT THE SOUND HUMPHHHHHHH!!!. ALRIGHT ALL TOGETHER NOW. HUMPHHHH!!!, Step ah one and ah two. HUMMMMMPH!!!, and a step and ah one and ah two HUMPHHHHH!!!! and a step and ah one and ah two HUMMMMPH!!!..STOP I HUMGER, BRING ME ANOTHER LEG OF SAMOAN.MMMMMMMMMM.......
Yes those were the days in the glorious South Pacific, shame the white settlers once again destroyed the traditions of an old fashioned Samoan Dinner. I would just like to say that Leg of Samoan was also served with star apple sauce and coconut shreds, with sliced pineapple glazed over the knee cap. MMMMMM...What the fuck we were talking about the Griswold Christmas. Is nothing sacred around this Ville. MC'FINN You started all this shit with that time zone thing.. Where you hidin???

Strebor said...

I repeat myself - OMG!!!

Simple said...

Griswold moment, when he went sledding down the hill on that saucer sled, flew right into the midst of traffic with Sparks flying from Sparky...
Yes Strebor I do remember the Lionel Engine smashing fathers foot on Christmas morning, he was hoppin around like Scrooge when he found out it was still Christmas. He should have known better than to turn the controls over to a 17 year old kid...lol!!!!!

Jim Mc said...

Pants on the ground
Pnats on the ground

Sleep tight LOl

Simple said...

Yeah sleep tight McFinn, of course it is only 2 O'clock P.M. International Date Line, Figian time in Figi, and it is already Christmas Eve..
Let me check out this insane asylum. Ok, number one Plain, stick with the darfron or whatever it is called your spelling is much more easy to decipher.
Oh no, the critters are out there with a rather large hunk of meat on the barbe, let me walk over there, man kinda wet out here in the pines..muddy and wet, nothing new..Hey guys..SIMPLE, SAMPLE!!!!! VELCOME TO OUR QUE. Umm, back off a little Slat. What are you cookin over there and where is Blat? DAT IST THE LAG OF DEER DAT SAMM THE MAN KELT VIT HIS BOW AND ARROW, IT IST DEER SEASON SAMPLE, AND BLAT AND BILLY ARE ONT A VOODKA RUN. SIT DOWN ANT HAF SOME VANISON. Ahh, not a big fan of venison, thanks anyway..I think I gotta get in the bunker and hunker down for the night. I have been a little under the weather. HAAHHAAH UNTER DA VEATHER, VE ART ALL UNDERT DA VEATHER YOU SIMPLETANT, DA VEATHER IST UP IN DA SKY..OK, later man, here comes your vodka, (fucker is right the weather is over our heads, I guess we are all under it..)what am I talkin about and why do I associate with these critters.HI SAMPLE. Glad to see you Blat..Billy did you get any juice on your Vodka run NAHHHHHHH!!Alright guys, I am hitting it..ComeMere..Hey Simple, later. I am going to, Mere Mere Mere!! get your sticky fucking eyeballs off of my forehead.. HAAHHAH!!SORRY SAMPLE I AM JUST EXCITED FOR VENISON, AND VODKA. MMMM does sound pretty good. Merry Venison and Venison day to all and to all a good night..
"Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends." and anybody with any common sense stay the hell out of the Ville. LOL!
TAPS....

Simple said...

Meant Venison and Vodka Day. Outta here...