It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off....Spoke to a Prince from Poland last night, said he may be commenting at the Ville in the near future, that could prove very interesting...Who was the guy on laugh in that said "HMM VERY INTERESTING.." little dude, I think he wore a soldiers uniform...Somebody better get it quick, because the Simpleton will think of it...I guess the TOADS or RINGERS, aren't whackin their balls today..YO! you shoulda seen that team,,Floyd, and Pat, and Butch and Babe and Monk and and what the fuck!! Kicked me and Dave aside like the trash they put in my golf bag...I don't know where the fuck they kicked Plain too, he was MIA..LOL!!! Me and Dave and Plain and Phil and Ferg and E Jr. are all taking classes in the fine art of ball whacking, well they are, I already am a champion whacker....Seriously the tournament is for a great cause and it was a great day...Proud that I could be there, and help in a small way...I am sure Gary (R.I.P.) was smilin down on us...The General he was roamin around the golf course like he was a General or somethin. Of course he hung with the RINGERS, just about said hello to me. I asked him if something was wrong and he said my salute was a little off to the left..Starting to dislike that General LOL!! I gotta run, hope you are feeling better Plain.. Jimmy Mc there are all kinds of pictures on fb. I will give you a call..lots of visitors..I am down the road with Phil The Thrill that is always a Thrill although I do have to mention my man had a 270 yard drive..all his other drives were pop ups in the infield....See ya later. On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again, playing music with my friends, I can't wait to get on the road again..........! Be Back....
7 comments:
The guy on laugh-in, I think his name was Arte Johnson but not sure. Oh by the way, I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
Yep, that is it Streebs, Arte Johnson..I think he was hittin on Goldie Hawn..Hey did I ever tell you guys about the time I met Goldie Hawn, yep, true story..Sit down at a poker machine in Caesar's Palace, in a place called Las Vegas..Now, sitting right next to me is a blonde haired woman with a hoodie on, she is playing and watching me, and I am playing joker poker where 5 of a kind is a 4000.00 jackpot on a dollar machine. a royal flush and a straight flush are 500.00 they both pay the same..She just so happens to be playing the same game and sees me throw away a ace of diamonds and a king of diamonds and hold a 7 of clubs and an eight of clubs, I also threw away a deuce of hearts..Damn if I don"t hit the straight flush..5 6 7 8 9 of clubs and get 500.00.. she says hey you coulda had a royal. I said I know darlin, but that is a dead end hand, because you have the ace laying, you only can draw the 10 and other faces..The other way is open end and they pay the same...She goes what do you mean they pay the same? I said read the payoffs Goldie, they pay the same..Now these big blue eyes are staring at me, and she says you know who I am!! I said yeah, why do you think I sat here..We both start laughin, she says I have been playing this machine for three hours, I know as soon as I leave somebody is going to hit it..I said don't leave on account of me, I would rather hit poker than hit on you.. She starts laughin again..She says what's your name,,AHHHH!! fell right into my trap..Well, Goldie I know who you are but you have no idea who I am, and I hand her my license, she looks at it, and says Ernest Keebler..yep,, Keebler, are you with the baking company?? Sorta but, how about the first name..She looks, and says Ernest...Hey Goldie what is the nickname for Ernest.. She is looking at me (pretty eyes man).. She looks at the license..OHH!! ERNIE!! YOUR ERNIE KEEBLER!! I said you Hawn keep it down will ya, I don't want all these people to know I am here...Then I tell her my story about the name and where I grew up and we are drinking and she is trying for straight flushes..and two more hours go by, and I am ready to pounce, fuck Kurt Russell, when she says you know I have to go...(fuck,fuck,fuck.) Uhmm you want me to hold this machine for you...No but you should play it..I got like 800.00 in credits in my machine, you know cash out in those days and coins are flying all over the place..I said, I will, but I got a lot of ammo right here...She says Ernie you want an autograph, I said do you..laughing again...anyway she gets up tightens her hoodie and walks out of my dreams..As I am watching that nice butt shake across Caesars and lost in thought, somebody sits at her machine and off go the bells, yep, jackpot...I am yelling GOLDIE, GOLDIE YOU WERE RIGHT!! but she forever walked out of my life..What an unfortunate human being..She not only lost a jackpot, she lost me...Poor girl..
Arte Johnson very interestinggggggggggggg,I met Jimmy Johnson in Alantic city he was a card counter(I much rather meet Goldie)But anyway Jimmy Johnson isn't allowed to Play In Vegas. But he was in Alantic city was sitting next to him like 3 hours and when he finally left simple i noticed he wasn't that tall, both he and Artie are lil guy's Jimmy may be a lil taller. But all that means is my Johnson is bigger than your Johnson
Welcome Back Strebor!!!!!!!
Hey Plain, chit, my Johnson is bigger than your Johnson, man, not quite 911 material..Hope you are feeling better brother..Yeah those hours with Goldie were giving me all kinds of pleasant thoughts..I was thinking HMMM Mr. and Mrs. Simple. Or Mr. and Mrs. Goldie Simple. or Ernie and Goldie Elf. or, well you get it, in fact I did propose to her and told her there was a drive through wedding chapel down old town Vegas..That really made her laugh...I laughed just to go along with it, because I was dead serious...How about the lady that hit the machine, I told her the story and she called security and said there was a nut sitting next too her bothering her...What the fuck man...
You think a wet ass night like tonight would be real quite out here in the Barrens, but nooooo, the critters have set up a golf course (which they call goof course, which sounds more like it to me), and are out there in the rain, smacking pine cones with sticks and yelling and arking and nahhhhhhhing, grrrrring..screaming HOLT IN WONT..GIMMMEEE DA DRAVER YOUT FOOK!! Swingin at each other and somebody hit the goat in the ass with a about a 2 pound rock and he ran into a tree and rammed his one good horn into the tree and is stuck there, now they are yelling for me to get him loose so he can make a beer run..No shot man..I have had it with beer, vodka, critters and that fucking golf game...Hey guys have fun, Simple is hitting the rack..HATTOONA MATADA SIMPLE..What up Meer?? I'M DONE SIMPLE I PLAYED 6 HOLES..Golf is 18 holes Meere. OH OH!! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I WILL BE BACK..Nah, just stay over the hooch tonite, you smell like a fucking pole cat...Hey, Plain what the hell is a pole cat and how the hell do we know what they smell like...That's it DONE...
Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends.
TAPS
Well Simple i'm glad you ask that Question, So just to make sure I called my Friend in Japan Ying and his Mother answered I had a long talk with Misses Yang, before Ying came on.It's great talking to old friends tho. Anywho Simple Ying Yang comfirmed that a Pole Cat is chiefly a nocturnal carnivorous mammal of the weasel family( Not Jackie now) And that it ejects a malodorous fluid to mark their territory so thanks to Ying Yang, now we know.Shrugs and walks away.........................Gidnite Misses Calabash whereever ya are!!!!!!
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