"It Is Now Post Time..That is what they will be saying tomorrow, at Pimlico, as they play Oh Maryland, My Maryland, sounds eerily similar to Oh Canada..maybe the queen had something to do with that..How sick are you of hearing about that dowdy bitch..WELL!! now you know how I feel every fuckin time I look at her pictures..
We're Off...Yo, I just saw the 10 most powereful celebrity list, compiled by none other than Forbes magazine. You want to see what is wrong with our country, look at this list..Now, when they say powerful, I honestly don't know what that means..I do know that it doesn't mean physically. I'll take a shot and say, name their price for their particular talent, or made more money, than their peers over the course of the year, or years, or draw the biggest crowds of stupid sheople, let's go with that...DRUM ROLL EASY (WHERE THE FUCK IS EASY???).......................
In order from ten on down..sit down now because you don't want to miss this, extremely important list of some of the finest America has too offer..This is actually sickening..Alright Simple, just come out and say it..Anybody that reads this shit, knows how much I fucking hate, so called stars, (they ain't stars, stars are Quasars in the omnipotent universe, that glow almost through eternity. Does that sound like a definition for these dirt bags..!! Please sheople call them what they are actors, singers, dancers, ball players, directors, but not stars.. OK OK on with the list..I hate these fuckers....
10.. Coming in at number ten.....Steven Spielberg......He is a director of movies..Fuck him..because he is like a nothing to me..I know this is going to sound bad, but I can't really think of any of his movies, now don't get me wrong, I know he had some good ones, but I don't really care who directed movies.. HATE METER 10
9. Coming in at number nine...TIME OUT!! I ain't saying Coming in at every number...OH BOY!!l PULEEZEE!!! do I have to do this to myself..(sure Simple Vodkaday is postponed for the Preakness)
tom cruise..excuse me, I will be right back.................................................................just lost my bagel, and coffee.If I had like a wish, that there was one person, before I die that I could really fuck up, yep, him, this scientologist smug little fuck face....please get on the go away bus, please go away before me, so I can watch you soar into outer space to be with your alien god...the epitome of a punk...HATE METER: OFF THE FUCKIN CHARTS....
8. Coming in at ...Wait I ain't saying that at every number....Dig this one katy perry...am I right, she is punk boys cruise's toy..I think she is,,,what the fuck did she ever do????? Maybe my age is starting to show, not now, not ever...go away with your punk, so he can punk you in the outer galaxies of scientology...jerk off..HATE METER: OFF THE CHARTS BY PROXIY.
7. Coming in....Wait a minute I ain't doing that at every number....kim kardashian????????????? this is actually sickening me...this no talent, fuckin spoiled piece of garbage should be in Afghanistan for a year to find out what reality, really is...the whole family are a bunch of morons, and if I offend anyone here at Plain and Simple today, I don't care, if you watch that shit, you are a fucking moron...HATE METER 10
6. OH BOY!!! Sit Down,,,brittany spears...she of her privates showing, and kid in the car and fat ass, and jail, and pubic I mean public drunkenness, a total wreck as a mother, singer I mean screamer..Come on man, she is one of these many goofs that call themselves singers..She puts high black boots on her stinky chubby feet, Rex Ryan is a friend of mine and told me she had chubby feet, and they stink..OK PLAIN, let it go.. then she puts on her tight bathing suit bottom so she has a camel toe showing, then she puts on a micro bra and does her hair up and puts a bunch of half naked guys dancing like robots behind her, and screams shit into the microphone that is undecernable , by even people that can hear..No wonder these foreign countries laugh at us...HATE METER: 7
5. lady gag gag, I think McGag likes her so I am going to cut the freak, a break..she is a multi-millionaire idiot, because we in this country love sensationalism, especially when it has to do with scantily clad women screamers (they are by no means singers) HATE METER 5
4. rihanna, the only time I even heard of this creature, was when she was given birth to her kid, and was awarded the whole top floor of the hospital..Ain't that nice sheople, too bad if you got sick or hurt that night rihanna the rhino was reproducing..Oh yeah, her and her mate, don't think she is married, are any of them married, if they are it is not for long..HATE METER 7
3.justin bieber....every generation has to have their Elvis, actually don't know anything about him, he is a kid he gets a pass...NO HATE METER
2. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING OPRAH, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Deep breaths, deep breaths, ow pain, pain..feeling pain Chris....ONE LAST TIME YOUR SERENE EMPRESSSHIP, GET ON THE GO AWAY BUS, AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HUMANITY, YOU HAVE NO TALENT!!!! NONE!!! LEAVE YOU CAN AFFORD IT....PULLEEEEZZZZZZZE LET THIS BE THE LAST TIME I HAVE TO READ OR WRITE YOUR FUCKED UP NAME..OPRAH!! WHAT KINDA FUCKIN NAME IS THAT...THAT IS AS BAD AS PLAIN!!!!!LOL!! HATE METER JUST FUCKIN BROKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10 COMING IN AT NUMBER TEN...HAD TO SAY IT FOR THIS ONE...BOW YOUR HEAD PLAIN THEN LATCH ON TO JENNY FROM THE BLOCK YEEAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!, GIVE US ALL A TANGO, AND A PASSIONATE RUB ON THE ASS...YEAH!!!! FINALLY ONE I LIKE..CAN'T HELP MYSELF. NUMBER 1 IT IS PLAINS GIRL, NUMBER 2, SHE IS A HOTTIE, AND HONESTLY SEEMS TO BE A GOOD PERSON, AND NUMBER 3, JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HER I LIKE. I ASKED PLAIN IF I COULD INTERVIEW HER AT PLAIN AND SIMPLE HE HAS NOT REPLIED.., HE KNOWS ONCE SHE GOT A LOAD OF SIMPLES ACT HE WOULD BE DONE.....SORRY J LO, HE WOULD BE HERE BUT HE IS OUT WHACKING HIS BALLS AGAIN WITH THE REST OF MY RETIRED TOAD FRIENDS..SORRY GUYS, I REALLY DIDN'T MEAN THAT,,,(GOTTA SEE THEM ALL TOMORROW FOR THE PREAKNESS AND MOST OF THEM ARE MUCH LARGER THAN ME)
OK, there you have it, is that incredible, give me your take...I know Plain will..Enjoy your friday, I will be back with my Preakness picks and some unworldly observations as usual.....Enjoy your vacation day Phil, because if you don't, you won't...
9 comments:
OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!!!!
Who were the so-called genuises who compiled this list? This is what is wrong with our country. The young people look up to this ilk and want to be like them and this is why someday the great USA will fall. Simple, I don't like correcting you because you did a bang up job describing this garbage. Katy Perry is not Cruise's girl toy (that would be Katie Holmes, who I might add is another nothing). Katy Perry is a rock star usually sports a blue or some other bright color wig (do like her song "Firework") that is married to the crazy British comedian Russell Brand who recently got booed off the stage at one of the AC casinos. Rihanna is not the one they closed off the whole maternity ward for; that was Beyonce. Rihanna is the one whose boyfriend punched her face in a couple of years ago. I know you want to hear all this shit but it just proves what a sick country we have become when these are our most influential people. God help us, pleeeeeeeeeaaaaassssseeeeeee!
If I was given the chance to name my most influential people it would be all the members of our military, Soldier, Sailors, Marines, members of the Coast Guard, and all the people who died fighting these horrid wars in savage lands and all the people who have perished at the hands of terrorists. No wonder the rest of the world laughs at us and calls us imperialistic pigs.
OK Streebs, thanks for straightening out my Simpleness. About Katy whoever, and I still think that may have been rihanna..although I am not sure.anyway whoever it was they should not shut down a whole hospital floor to have her calf.
katy
OK, I forgot who Plain picked in his Superfecta, so I am going to do mine and then go back and look at his from yesterday.. Whack them balls Toads..
9. I'll Have Another..Why Not. Won The Kentucky Derby.
5. Went The Day Well..This horse will be there.
6. Creative Cause. Dave got me on him, and I ain't gettin off him.
7. Bodemeister..Not really sure on this one, but should be in the top four..I don't know if he shot his load in The Derby..gotta look a little bit tomorrow..but that is probably it..
I think I'll Have Another, wins the race..Why Not He Won The Kentucky Derby...
So I got a 5-6-7-9..
Now I will go look at Plains Picks..
Plain, I am not going to swear, but I swear, I saw your picks yesterday, but I didn't look at them again until just now..great minds do think alike...Man I hope you hit it Plain..How about an exacta..
I'll Have Another 9.
Went The Way Well 5.
9-5 I like that...
You Picked the Same ones I gave out Damn it Now I have to change them all. But mmmmmmmmmm Bodemeister should go wire to wire in this one . Mike Smith took him oiut to fast in the Derby and it was too long for him ,the Bode can go this distance so there it is 5,6,7,9
As far as those Stars they arent shit unless you make them stars. Who the fuck are they to tell us what to do who to vote for their all millionsaires and complaining about the rich.It's the asshole shepeople that make them rich by going to see them and paying to see them. And like the shepeople they just follow along with what ever the Liberals say they dont have a clue whats going on in the world today.That asshole that just won in France is a liberal Progressive and now the stock Market is droping agin because he wants to Tax and spend and their broke. Greese is Broke , Germany is going Broke like all of Europe and the liberal Media is saying this is bad for the world economy. HAAAAAAAAAAAA wellllll Duahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why aren't they saying it about Obama's policy about spending and Taxing. Let me ask you this people who wants to do Bussiness with someone who's Debt is over 100% more than they make?MMMMMM check out Americas Debt shepeople. Or better yet vote for that asshole Obama again and go Broke, you can Blame it on Bush when your living on the sidewalk smirks and walks off.
Hey Plain, you done, because you really fucked up..You called OBUMA, OBAMA.. Who the hell is this OBAMA guy you speak of, I never heard you talk about him or those liberal whatever the fuck they are...You have to calm down young man..your blood pressure is going to put you through your puter, and I don't want you over here..In the meantime, oh great political sage of the North..You comin down, ECKS for the Preakness..YO!! You better be kiddin about The Fatherland going broke..You know what happened the last time Germany went broke, they sorta pissed off the whole world, and that little painter with a moustache, became one popular guy.. Him and his boys had a strange way of walking..ever see them, they throw their legs way up in the air and don't bend their knees, that shit has to hurt...
Well Simple those guy's from the Fatherland that threw there legs straight up was called "The Goose Step"they were able to do this because the guy behind them was goosing them no one ever noticed because they kicked there legs so High.And obuma wants these guys to be able to get Married now because he got rid of the Dont ask dont Smell Policy, smirks and walks away
P.S.
MMMMM yes I do belive I will be at CJ& ECKS tomorrow I am not telling you a time because then I have to do all that autograph stuff and I hate Mobs and all those Girls grabbing me sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh, why Can't they love me for my mind, I feel so used, I'm not just a peice of meat, throws up my hands and shakes my head.
Hey Plain, nothing about Jenny From The Block coming in at number 1..Did she tell you about it? Are you two having dancing problems? Just wondering..Being in this Ville with you around can make Hitler, and them goose steppin wehrmacht fuckers wonder...Germany better not go broke. I gotta lot of relatives in the Rhine Valley. They have been hiding out there since WWII ended....
Oh what a mess this world is in! Hope to see you all at CJ & Eck's for the Preakness. I'll be betting whoever you don't!
Post a Comment