"Today Is The 24th Day Of April In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

It Is Now Post Time.
We're Off.  Or should we say Simon Cowell is off,  look at that fucker run..YEOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is what a high colonic enema will do for you, especially one mixed with ajax and cayenne pepper..Man Plain, that wrinkle in his brown eye must really sting...chit ahhaah..you got me going on that one Plain..You know they say (who the fuck are they?) that he puts his pants on one leg at a time just like me.. Well I hope that prick never gets his pants mixed up with mine.. You wanna talk about LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE.. OK Simple enough about colonics...although it is an interesting subject, especially if you are an asshole....
Today is Gideon Sundback's Birthday, yep, the guy that took credit for inventing the zipper, when in actuality, he only modified and introduced it into the clothing industry..Little Known Fact...The genius that invented the zipper was Lionel Short...his IQ was one above egg plant, yet he was a tinkerer in the village of East Wadsworth in North Hampshire..He was tinkering one day when he got a piece of cloth caught in his tinker toy..when he yanked on it the cloth and the silver from his tinkler combobulated together to form what looked like a small railroad track..Well when Lionel saw this, he pulled the silver from the cloth and noticed that the cloth split in two..he quickly sewed the little looking railroad track back onto the cloth and noticed it stayed together.. Lionel was ecstatic, if he could do this with a little piece of cloth, what would happen if he tried it with his trousers...So, Lionel quickly, dropped his pants, and slit the seam where the crotch was.. He took his tinker toy and spread out a line of silver the size of the crotch on his pants..he then laid out a line the same size next too it, and attached a small piece of metal that ran up the middle and solidified them together...he had invented the zipper..The next step was to sew it onto his trousers where he had cut out the crotch...Did I say, Lionel was ecstatic.!! When he finally got done stitching and hemming, he was so excited he got a woody, yep, this is noted in the history of the zipper....He did not care.., he flung the pants on one leg at a time, and zipped up, as fast and as hard as he could..YEEEOWOWOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Oh Boy, he got his woody stuck in the new found invention and chopped off the head...Thus his last name SHORT!! You heard it hear first at Plain and Simple....