It Is Now Post Time..
We're Off....."BE A CLOWN, BE A CLOWN, BE A CLOWN...!!!!! HE FLYS THROUGH THE AIR WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE THE DARING YOUNG MAN ON THE FLYING TRAPEZE!!!!!!!!...SAMPLE!!!! SAMPLE!!!! HATOONA MATTADA SIMPLE!!!! SIMPLE!!! SIMPLE!!! ARK!! THE CIRCUS IS HERE!!! THE CIRCUS IS HERE!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What??? What??? What the fuck??? What is going on out here??? Holy Moley, or Holy Shit or What the fuck!!! Noise, you wanna talk about noise!! PLAIN where the fuck are YA!!! stickin my head outta the bunker, blinkin my eyes, this can't be real (of course not you Simple fuck)... Circus Tents up and down the old dirt road...WHOA!!!! ARRARRARRRRHHHGGG...FUCKIN ELEPHANT ALMOST STEPPED ON MY HEAD..(woulda done me a favor).. Clowns running around with giant feet..Bridget the Midget...some guy 9ft. tall..I thought Manute Bol died....monkeys, parrots, and dogs, oh no..men and women in tights. Some fuckin mustachioed dude with a top hat and a whip...This ain't happening (no shit you Simple fuck),, Is that a seal, yep, has a basketball on the end of his nose... Must be Sammy Seals..(had a good fight with him one time, maybe twice).. P.T. BARNUM,,himself..straight from the circus museum in Sarasota Florida, WOW!! This should be a great week for a circus...YO!! is that Tom Thumb, Little known fact,,, Tom was the smallest man ever, yep, 3'2"and he got married to a woman named Dolly that was only 3'6" they had like five kids and they were brought up good and proper, and they never gave anybody the finger, because they were all THUMBS!! AHHH CHIT 911!!!!!!!! Not for me, Sammy is being chased across the high wire by the Flying Walenda..!!
10 comments:
Circus, did you say circus - I have had a circus next door to me since last Sept.
Tom Thumb is there too ? I'll bet that 9 foot giant is nuts over him!!!! haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaa oh chit
Who the hell is Plain and who the hell is Plain.. and who the hell is Plain and Simple..
Hey get that fuckin lion outta my bunker...Meere shit himself..I know the lion is tame, but did you ever hear of Siegfried and Roy...That one Tiger made a Tiger Toy outta that dude, and they say he was tame...YO!! PT..MR. BARNUM!!!HEY!! Barnum is looking over at me..he just said something to the carney.. I think he looked at me and said, there is one of them born every minute..What the fuck is that supposed to mean.. Where is Plain when I need him.. They got me settin up these little hoops for dogs to jump through..bunch of pampered poodles if you ask me..I want to work in the Big Top..You know why they call it a three ring circus?? Well it has three rings, yep, there is the left ring, the right wing and the middle ring..That is three..yep that is why they call it a three ring circus..you heard it hear first at Plain and Simple..HEY YOU, HEY CLOWN!! THIS FUCKIN POODLE JUST SHIT ON MY BOOT..HONK!!HONNNNNKKKK!! ARK! THAT MEANS FUCK YOU, THAT MEANS FUCK YOU!! Parrots, Clowns, and Poodles oh my.. Shotguns, Sabre's, and Knives, oh yeah...!!! This should be a good one...Look at that fuck on the flying trapeze, you can see his whole package from a mile away.. Where is the damsel...gotta check her out..
Simple dont let anyone smoke down there!It's to dry and fires are spreading all over. Especially near the Circus, because it would be in Tents haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa omg in tents I'm killing me a Knee slaper ohhhh and keep the Lion away from the Tape rope walker , those Lions like a Balanced diet haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa chit doubles over and dances away.
And that plain and simple was me Plain. I get Simple sometimes but i'm really Plain not Simple. I'm just trying to explain real Plain and Simple if ya know what I mean Simple . Is that Plain enough for you?or are you Simple?
Three-ring circus yep that's what it is - Plain, Simple and the house next door to me. Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right and here I am stuck in the middle with a three-ring circus. Did you say clowns? I HATE clowns!
Little Streebs hates clowns. Let me tell ya somethin, a lot of people not only hate clowns but are scared of them...Yep,,I was talkin to Babe one time outside ECK'S and he says, you know the only clown I ever knew was ClaraBelle..I said, you fuckin kiddin just look at this table..NO, NO, I mean real clowns..Like I said just look at this table..You know what I mean..You say ClaraBelle is the only clown you ever saw, or heard of...Yeah....What about Bozo?? Oh yeah Bozo, heard of him...How about Ronald McDonald?? OH YEAH!! heard of him... How about Pollyochi,the sad clown.. Yeah, Yeah, they sing no more rice krispies to that tune..See you heard of a lot of clowns..Did you ever hear of Emmit Kelly?? Yeah wasn't he like the one of the first clowns..Yep, he was...How about John Wayne Gacy?? John Wayne Gacy!! Oh yeah he used to get dressed up like a clown...You got it large fella...He says yeah, how about that John Wayne Gacy, now there was one angry clown...
I just went into the bunker and unwrapped a WaWa turkey sandwich, and an ice tea, and lo and behold started watching the Phils.. Yep, must be an afternoon game from San Fran., must have started at 4:30, cool I'll get too watch the whole game tonight..Well the Phils come up and score 4 runs in the first inning, yep, just like last night..Then Chooch comes up and gets Nix over too third and Galvis comes up and they say if he gets on, Halliday will get too bat...Halliday!! he pitched last night. Wait so did Lincecum..Watched the whole inning before I realized I watched it last night..You don't need a fucking circus around here all you need is me...I am a living breathing fucking circus all on my own.. What the fuck....!!
OK, Mr. Barnum, you promise too keep it as quite as possible around here..I know the circus is a noisy crew of characters..Excuse me? No, Tom Thumb cannot now or ever sleep in the bunker, that is reserved for me and Meere...sorry about that shit..Look I gotta busy day tomorrow, and I know you do, so why don't we just say goodnite, and you keep your critters away from me and my critters, put on your show and get back on the road. How does that sound old P.T...Sounds good Simple..Hey Simple..Yes Mr. Barnum..Did you ever think of joining the circus?? Look at me Mr. Barnum, do I look like somebody that would join a circus?? hahahahhahhhhaaahaah!! Mr.Barnum, Mr. Barnum..what is so funny?? Mr. Barnum..?? Fuck this I'm hittin the rack.. Hey Plain if you ride through here after TAPS, find out what is so funny will ya...as for the rest of ya..
"Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends.
TAPS
Well Simple As I drove thru the circus I ask PT Barnum what is so funny .He said wellll you know most Plain people are Simple. And there's a sucker born everyday and two to take em.He told me he just met this Simple soul and he pictured him with a black t- shirt pulled over his head with Just his face showing. And that he would look just like Marty Feldman, and he could tell everyone he brought Marty Back from the dead. He thinks it's a very Plain and Simple soulution to making a few more Simple Dollars.
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