We're Off...Don't anybody give me a hard time about Union Rags..Watch the race, that jockey got him in more trouble than Charlie Manson...and he still should have won the race...Sour Grapes, yeah....Anyway, bet him in the Derby Exotics 9 (here is a stretch, but that is what I do, HE WILL BE THE NEXT TRIPLE CROWN WINNER)...Onto March Madness, ends in April.. Tonite Kentucky...All my brothers are jumping on Kansas as of right now..and the ones that liked Kentucky are scared too do anything...I might be a moosh, but that Phil The Thrill is the kiss of death.. Little known fact The Kiss Of Death was first uttered on All Fools Day In The Year Of Our Lord 1388..The village idiot, I know a lot of them, was performing magic tricks, now mind you, back in 1388 there were no dentists, sooooooooooo people sorta kinda had bad breath, actually it reeked..The stench was so bad in some Villages that when people arrived they had to wear veils over their faces...Well the Village Idiot only got laid on All Fools Day, and yep, he had his choice of damsels..Most of the fair maidens would run into the neighboring woods, hoping to get eaten by a werewolf, as his breath was better than The Village Idiots..I heard one story where a Werewold was eating a maiden and she said whats the matter don't you werewolves screw anymore...ahahhahah..bad Simple,,bad Simple..I digress.. The Village Idiot chose his mate for the day and it was one of the visitors with a veil on her face... When said Idiot drug her off the horse his breath was so bad the horse passed out...Down came the maid and when he ripped her veil off, she had one long tusk like a narwohl, and sunk it into his jester hat and hit his pea (brain).. Down went the idiot, dead as a door nail.. Everyone in the village drew back in horror as she looked at them with her bloody tusk hanging out her mouth and they all exclaimed "The Kiss Of Death." You heard it here first on Plain and Simple.. I guess Plain is playing with his balls practicing for the annual Viet Nam Veterans Scholarship Tournament, what he and the other toads don't know is this year team Ernie has a ringer.. I will not reveal his name until Golf Day...Well March marched, in and out like a lamb..I just heard something the other day that blew my mind.. Now that doesn't take much.., it may have bee Plain..Somebody said..April Showers Bring May Flowers...How fucking profound is that. Have you ever heard anything like that before??? Surely I jest...This whole fucking language is cliche' after cliche'....If we are repeating, if we are repeating I don't give a fuck, lets do some of those moribund sayings that you hear all the time...Ready, get set..STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's why I am Simple.. I'm actually laughing right now, what am I 12..
Here we go....well without knowing it, I just did one..Here we go.....
Keep The Pressure On.
Did you get the mail....Retired wife to retired husband or visa versa.
Honey I'm Home.. Butchie Welte after he drove off in the cop car that had pulled him over...
I'm Tired....Go the fuck too sleep, I don't feel like hearing your tired..
I gotta get some rest....don't worry where your going there is plenty of that too be had. You know the one thing we all have in common the dirt nap..
The bigger they are the harder they fall. Fuckin BULLSHIT!!! The bigger they are the harder they hit....
Doors open come on in, unless you are a Jehovah Witness or one of them other fucks that walks in your house asking for money.....you know the ones I waved the shotgun at....They were some fast back trackin Jehovahs that day.....bring some well known verse and cliche's CLICHE' DAY!!
8 comments:
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUZ (R..I.P.) Muz was Mrs. Morris, the mother of Nicky, Speedy, Dave, Terry and Sheila...One of the greatest people I ever met in my life...I loved her dearly...plus she always told me I was handsome...Love Ya Muz..Have a great day in Heaven...
When one door closes another one opens up......Unless you get hit in the face with the one closing...
When it rains it pours.....Bad day..
Its not how you drive its how you arrive....Plain's motto
What the Fuck? What is that aboutZ?
Straight form the Horses mouth....Is that what you do, horse whisperer....
In a pigs eye......Ever look at them in the 18 wheeler taking them to Hatfield for slaughter....Eerie
I know Jack Shit.....Do You?
BBL
You got any money?
Who did you bet?
Wanna get a drink?
Did you ever go out with her?
Let's go..
You leavin.
I'm leavin.
What time you leavin?
Saw Jimmy the other day..
How You doin?
What's Up
Yo
You got a minute.
See you tomorrow.
See you when I see you.
Be seein you around..
COME ON MAN DOES ANYBODY SAY ANYTHING ORIGINAL. I do have a Simple original..
"Say what you will and say what you like, what's wrong is wrong and what's right is right..
You know this may sound entirely nuts, but Phil The Thrill has some original shit, but it is diluted logic...I guess even that is more interesting than THE SAME OLD BULLSHIT
Absofuckinglutely...........
What's happenin?
Huh?
When pigs fly?
Huh?
What did you say?
Huh?
What's new?
Huh?
Didja eat yet?
Huh?
Do you remember?
Huh
Where ya been?
Huh
Did you hear me?
Huh?
That about sums it up!
Huh?
Lets see April Fools day was first mentioned by Geoffery Chaucer back in 1392!In his Canterbury Tales yup back when the fox fooled the Rooster.But then again The Europians back in 1582 Observer April 1st as New Years Day nods yup they didright up until the 16th Century of the gregoran calender then it was moved to January 1st,by a Guy Named Dick Clark. Every didn't want to do it and said he was such a Big Dick back then.And some still were saying they weren't going to change and they were called "FoolsHoly day people.And wait til ya hear this The british Empire didn't Start the first day of the year being Jan 1st until 1752 they didnt adopt the gregorian Calender until then. And by the time the 13 colonies had gained their liberty from great BritianApril fools day was etched in their calender and in every jokesters mind.And ya heard it here first on Plain and Simple
Lets see some sayings hmmmmm
1 If everything seems to be coming your way , then your in the wrong lane
2 A day without sunshine is like mmmmmmmmm Night
3 Love thy neighbor, just dont get caught
4 I would if I could but I can't so i wont
5 Where ever ya go there ya are
6 I laughed so hard i had tears going down my Leg
Take Me Back To Manayunk.
Manayunk, Manayunk, that's where I long to be, where the hills look good to meeee..Oh, there's rocks and there's rills and there's plenty of hills, but it's Manayunk for meeee..
Goodnite Muz.
"Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends.
TAPS
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