"Today Is The 7th Day Of April In The Year Of Our Lord 2012."

"It Is Now Post Time."
We're Off...Holy Saturday, another giant celebration in The Christian Religion..This Mass is about 21/2 hours long. The reason I know the lengths of these Masses during Holy Week, is I served them all as an altar boy at St. John's..Wait till you hear this,, IN LATIN!! Yep, the whole time I was an altar boy the Mass was said in Latin... I looked up the prayers I was saying years later, as all I was doing was PARROTING, I had no idea what I was saying, except maybe for the Confiteor.(that gotta be spelled wrong).  Actually still know the prayers and some songs..I was up on that altar in a cassock and blouse, and a sash and a starched collar and silk bow tie, yelling out Latin, the louder the better..I think McKenna had a hearing problem..While I was sweating and stammering, and marching around with giant books...Plain, McSinger, Floyd and the rest of the choir boys, had a little book in front of them, singing their little hearts out about every fifteen minutes, then could take a seat and wait for the next song..Every now and then I would glance up into the choir loft and see Plain smirking at me as if too say, I told you, you should have practiced your singing..Anyway this is the day when Christ's body lay in state..Tomorrow morning being Easter is the Day that the Disciples and Mary Magdelena found the body missing..and there you have it, The Resurrection Of The Dead...This was the proof they needed to carry on as Christians..and that is the mantra most of us were taught to believe...
Hey Plain, what's with I am doing the Church thing it is Holy Week you heathen...you should be thankful for having me in your life...I am thankful for having you..(gag), something caught in my throat...Kind of a kick back Saturday, this was a big day when the kids were little.. You know the dying of the eggs and the tales of the Easter Bunny coming, man the bullshit we feed our little ones...I remember when Sony came out with the beta max.. Being the Griswold impersonator that I am,, I immediately ran out and bought one..So here it is egg dying night and we got everything set up for the ritual..I guess Carmie was 10 and Ernie was 9 and Joey was 1 or 2. Lynne was her normally conserved self as the dye was spilling on the table and a few eggs were gettting cracked. Lights, Camera, Action... Me, don't worry about the table, the dye will come out....now I got the camera rolling...Lynne, you ain't worried about the table because you ain't gonna clean it... How can I clean it I am the Cameraman..Carmie, Daddy, Ernie took my egg.. Ernie give Carmie back her egg...Why, it is ugly...Because I said to give it back to her...Did I say to throw it, you little..easy the camera is on..He cracked my egg...Lynne: turn the camera off... I ain't turnin the camera off until the eggs are dyed..Joey: Daddy look, got his feet on the table, and is counting his toes.. Wum, Doo, Free.. Joey do the eggs you can show me your mathmatic skills later.. Mind you only one egg is dyed, the camera is getting heavy and I am getting pissed...Daddy, what Ernie, you forgot too write names on the eggs.. GIVE ME THE EGGS...Lynne, hold this camera.. I'm not holding it...Just hold it while I write the names...CARMIE, ERNIE, JOEY, MOM, DAD, NANA, POPPY, JESUS...Ok there, now dye the friggin eggs..Lynne hands me back the camera and there goes the purple dye onto the refrigerator...You satisfied, turn off the camera and help them..Hey Lynnie, I just filmed that murderous face you made at me..How are we going to get purple dye off of the refrigerator...HOW ABOUT SOAP AND WATER!!! Camera is getting heavier...OK, I am putting the camera over here so I can help, SHIT, THERE GOES THE RED DYE!!! Lynne.. that's it I am cleaning up.. WHOA!! we only got CARMIE, ERNIE AND JOEY DONE!!  That is all you are getting done, you are wrecking my kitchen...This is about an hour into to this joyous event at Simples house...OK OK, one more and we call it a wrap....NO, DADDY WE WANT TO DO THEM ALL...fort, fife sixt, seffen, ate, ninet, tent...Da I can cant do tent...I heard it Joe...OK everybody the rabbit is coming time for bed..It is 8 O'clock.. DADDY ME AND E DON';T BELIEVE IN THE EASTER BUNNY.. YES WE DO DADDY..DA!! CARMIE AND ARNIE SAYT DA BUNNY IS NOT REAL DA!! He's real Joey, you two better knock it off man...bed everybody...Lynne says,You oughta go to bed with them.. You know what sweetie not a bad idea.. Good Night......I still have that tape, that is how I know what came down....I should put it on You Tube....You guys got any interesting stories about Holy Thursday, Easter Eve, Egg Dying, Bunny Hopping let us here them.. I will be back..hope you got a laugh out of that..Nobody was laughing that night...Oh yeah one more, the kids find a baby rabbit, guess the little feller was sick and the Mom left him, he was banged up, so in they come with this rabbit...We gotta help him Dad..So I set up a nursery with food, you know lettuce and water, and put him in the box...Well this interested Joey to no end so, when nobody was around he reached in and pulled the rabbit out and must have squeezed a little too hard as the rabbit expired..The other two are screaming JOEY!!! killed the rabbit..Just what a two year old needs too hear..He killed the Easter Bunny's kid...YO!! knock it off don't let him think that...DA!! where ya goin...AHM!! the rabbit is ok Joey I am taking him back to his Mom...THAT RABBIT AIN'T OK YOU KILLED HIM!!!! DA!! CARMMIIEEE ANNNND ARNNNIEEE SAID I KILT THE BABY RABB...NO NO HE IS OK!! I'll talk too you two later....  You should have seen Christmas!!!!LOL!!!.