Friday, July 29, 2011
"Today Is The 29th Day Of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2011."
Mornin, Still running around the Ville, as fast as I can, with this pig chasing me. Plain you are incorrigible.. I don't have enough to deal with now I gotta deal with this poker, I mean porker.. Well, I guess in a way we found, Truth, no Justice, and The American Way..Sorta like one of those Super Heroes everybody is paying too go see these days. AW MAN!! here comes that pig. I never knew pigs were so temperamental. I guess their species is a little pissed off we eat everything but the OINK..Figure it out man, the pig comes in all shape and flavors. Hot dogs, roast pork, pork chops, ham, ham hocks, pickled pigs feet, pickled pig ears, blood pudding, boars head, tripe, sausage, scrappal, bacon, pork belly, jerky, snout wieners, pig tails (on girls), liverwurst, lung stew, won tons, pig tongue, and the ever popular fart of the pig with light gravy and a nose clip.. Could you imagine a pig fart after what these babies are fed.. No wonder this prick is so pissed, but why did Plain have too leave him here, ride him back where ever you got him.. I gotta enough varmints too keep me busy.. The Slavs want too put grease on him and try and catch him. He wants to catch me and take a bite outta my hot dog.. Not fun Plain.. Anyway if you guys can come up with anything too do with our Porker friends, this should be good, please feel free to extrapolate upon your knowledge of our friends. Let me start out by saying Porky and Petunia are mine. Long live the pig.. OW!!! not this one. This bastard is gone down. I hear the Slavs, here piggy piggy piggy.. They have a stick of butter in their hands. This should be good.. This little piggy went too bed......
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The joke of the day from the "Truth"
A blind man interviewed for a job as a quality controller at a local wood mill. The manager calls the blind man into his office and asks him how he expected to do the job since he was blind. The blind dude says he would do it by smell. The manager decides to test him and places a piece of wood in front of him and says without touching it identify it. The blind guy says that is a very good piece of fir. Correct says the manager and the next one. That is an excellent piece of willow says the blind man. That is also correct says the manager and with that he decides to play a trick on him. He gets his secratary to lift up her dress and put her crotch in the blind mans face. I am confused says the blind man can you turn it around. The secratary giggiling turns around and puts her ass in his face. The blind guy says you are trying to trick me but I know exactly what kind of wood that is. It is the shit house door off of a Tuna boat.
That is the joke of the day from the "Truth"
That makes sense because that blind man walked by the fish store and said, "Mornin Ladies".
Put a dress on that pig and its still a pig.
Maybe you should dress up the menagerie for some kind of $2.00 night and let them invite the critters that they hang out with that you don't know about.
Happy Vodka Day.........
Truth please, new material, off the top of the head stuff. These two have been around for years. New Material, Man. Truth has been told....I think you might be from Baltimore..
Postponement. Going to New York tomorrow, to see a play. Plains nephew and a good friend of mine has the lead in a play called Don Gio. Should be quite an experience..
Simple,give me a break on the new material stuff, have you ever read your own posts?
Getting some culture for the Ville, Huh.........Yep that should be interesting, you two in the Big Apple. I'll be at the ready for bail.......Have a good time and remember to hold your pinky up for drinking at intermission.
Simple "The truth" is right you repeat everything and i'm not lying
This little piggy went to the market - this little piggy stayed home - this little piggy had roast beef - and this little piggy had none - and this little piggy said whee whee whee all the way home.
Could give you the names of some human pigs that I have met over my lifetime but will be kind and not do that. I'm sure you all know most of them.
Have fun in NYC!! Say hi to Chris!!
It's all In the timing of the Joke, every joke works off another one, somewhere some how! Like since we are talking about pork and Pigs hmmmmmm lets see Whats Green and smells like Pork?.....Kermit's finger haaaaaaaaaaa oh chit call 911.
Glad you decided to stay Truth never take offence from things I say. Ive Had Mother Teresa sucker punch me once and it is a lil Known Fact that Mother Teresa real Name was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu and she wasn't Indian she was Albanian.......now since we talked about Mother Teresa timing for a Joke works right in there see what I mean.......When Mother Teresa was walking thru heaven she saw Princess Diane and got so Mad she went to Saint Peter and complained saying it's so unfair just because Princess Diane is so Beautiful she got a bigger Halo than me.....And Saint Peter said thats not true she don't even have one thats a Steering Wheel!......Come on man it's a Joke. Smirks and walks away
Puts on my sleth Hat and gets my Pipe out of my Field Jacket.Hmmmmmmmm will go to work finding out who Truth and Liar are.But both of ya stick around we can have some fun.Thats what this place is all about. Except when Simple goes off with political and Religion and Crime and things like that. I think the Man needs anger Management classes myself < I can't understand why people get so mad over nothing.........smirks and walks away
OK Plain since you are in a better mood and a golfer I mhave this one for you.A guy walks into DOCTORS OFFICE WITH A FIVE IRON WRAPPED AROUND HIS NECK AND TWO BLACK EYES. The doctor said what do we have here. The guy says it all started when me and the wife went golfing, onthe forth hole she sliced her ball into a cow pasture, I went over to look for it when I saw it in the cows ass. I lifted the tail of the cow and thats when I made a mistake. What mistake was that the doctor asked. I said hey Hun this looks like yours.
From the "Truth"
No way Truth I don't read anything I say. I don't really understand why anybody else does. Yo!! Liar that's what happens with age you start repeating yourself. verbally and acidly. I have everybody in this place yelling hey we did that before. Secret. I really didn't know we did it before, really a secret, I don't really care..Don't tell them.. Where the fuck is PLAIN??
WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GENERAL???? WHERE THE FUCK AM I???
I'm always in a good Mood Truth,I get up that way and go to bed that way. WHY BE MISERABLE ?
And I'm right here Simple Hows my Pig ?I wanna Know where Catey is I think Simple drove her out of here!
And what did we did before ?Hey Simple last time we were in the Big Apple together we got thrown out.First time I was flagged from a State.Rember the cops took us to the Holland Tunnel and told us don't come Back1 And you threw that map in Floyds face and I took the Blame smirks.
WHERE THE HELL IS CATEY?
Yeah, I remember those days Plain, I know I got us kicked out of New York, and you were yelling, that we had been kicked out of nicer States than this.. How about the time we got kicked out of Canada, now that was fucked up..Just because Joe wanted to shit in a commode that was in the trash. Just because we sunk their boat in the St. Lawrence SeaWay get real man, we were just funnin..i remember fallen asleep on a train in New York with Hanson, and when the guy with the tickets, conductor or whatever threw us off the train we went into a bar and stayed for a day. I still have phone numbers from these guys and girls we met in Connecticut..AHHH!! as Springsteen would say "Glory Days." pass you by Glory Days in the wink of a young girls eye, Glory Daaayyyyyssss." You go Boss. I gotta go that pig is Oinking like a mad razorback. I think he wants some chow..Be back...
yeah and Guys complain they got flagged at a Bar pfffft We had Countries and states Flag us.The Nerve.
It is a stormin here at the Ville, everybody is in the bunker, including this ping. I hear whistling, oinking, arking,some KAT running around on his toes, some language that I can't understand and when I say does anybody else hear this shit a goat goes NAAHHHHH!!! Can't take it man.. The Ville is alive tonite..
Not a ping Simple that is a Chinese pig. This is a regular American Pink Pig. That's why they call me Simple.
Hatfield Day here at Plain and Simple, that is right Hatfield Ham, remember that little pig smiling on the package.. Tell ya one thing he wasn't smiling when that cleaver hit him in his head..He became Head Cheese.. Goodnite little piggy..
Well the pig is in his pen. (Come get him Plain or he will be sausage.)
Slavs back in the tent with the goat gnawing on their toes.. Sammy and Greeny are in the hole. Beaver is back at the pond and Mere is Here staring.. Think this is fun. Nice too see Truth and Liar. Like those manes, new material Truth. I put nothing but new material out here everyday..Don't I??? Hey will post tomorrow then off to Port Liberte a ferry to the Apple a stop at the OTB and into a play. I am one cultured Simpleton. Looking forward to seeing you Plain. Have a safe trip..Oh yeah the Ferry has a bar..
"Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends."
TAPS.......................
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