Monday, July 11, 2011
"Today Is 7/11/11 In The Year Of Our Lord 2011."
Mornin, WaWa isn't happy about that date.. YO PLAIN!!!!!!! I am remote, every now and then, like once a fuckin year, maybe you could find it in your black heart to do a post. NOOOOO!!! Gotta go whackin. You gotta be a wet whacker today.. I am heading for the Ville. Talk to you later...
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11 comments:
Whew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Simple has left the building and headed back to the ville and the menagerie. He didn't take the spider back with him because we killed it. All joking aside we had a very nice weekend with family & friends.
Throws out my hands ......Black Heart ?????? remote every now and then ?????? Once a fucking year ????? Surley you jest! Ive been posting and Hosting and doing some toasting.And your lucky I couldn't catch that car going down Shurs lane about a half hour ago, I smelled those cheese steaks.And btw I returned your request to call you and I get that stupid message and no return call. But I couldn't do a post today I was on an important phone call since last nite at 8 P.M. I called that 1- 800- kinky -ernie Number whew you think the Ville is weird? I'll fill you in later on that. I need some sleep .
Get some sleep Plain, I can't wait too hear about that phone call.
I got one when I got back to the Ville, that's another story. I am going to lose it on these critters. They are all going to an early grave, or I am..
RINGGGGGG RINGGGGGGGGGG RINGGGGGGGGG, who the fuck is calling me now? Probably another bill collector. HELLO FUCKER HE DIED!!!!! sweet voice on the other end. Did Kinky Ernie Die???? UH UH NO!! sometimes some of the lady's like us to answer the phone like that...May I as who is calling?? OH BOY!!! OH BOY!!!! Yes this is Conchita.. Who would you like too talk too?? Kinky Ernie of course.. HOLD ON, HOLD ON, sweat pouring off my brow. OH BOY! OH BOY! In my deepest sexiest voice (yeah right) Hello this is Ernie can I help you? Oh Ernie this is Cindy, what kind of Kink are you into...Choke, Cough covering my mouth..Deep breath, Simple, deep breath, OK composure..Well Cindy anything you like..Well tell me Ernie what do you look like. Oh ah ah sure sure Cindy, I am six foot two, dark wavy long beautiful black hair, cough, blue eyes, work out everyday but VODKA, I mean Friday cough as I have date night..What are the charges Ernie?? Oh UH, 25.00 for the first half hour and 50.00 a half hour after that..Oh that is expensive... Hold on Hold on. For a first time caller we have a special this week 1.00 for the first half hour .50 for every half hour after. Oh that sounds reasonable. OK Cindy what do you look like?? I am five foot four, auburn hair, green eyes, have a 42 inch bust, and weigh 380 lbs. What was that last statistic Cindy honey? 380 lbs and my kink is too sit on a guys lap for four hours and tell him what I want for Christmas.
That was silence. Hello Ernie, Ernie..are you there..Ernie, Ernie,
Ernie, ERNIE!!! ERNIE!!!! RINGGGGGGG RINGGGGGGGG. Shoulda never put my phone number on the pole at the Ville.. I am in trouble now. That gotta be worth more than a dollar....PLAIN,,, HELP!!!!!!!
Woman was a fake caller, she messed up her name. I couldn't do anything like that. There really is a reason they call me Simple....
Hey hey Cindy isn't fat she is just about 4 feet too short! I checked her out she looked like mmmmmmm 38-26-36 and her right arm looked about the same.She told me the Doctor told her she has a fleash eating bacteria, I said what he do give you 87 years to live!She walked away I said you better hurry because there is alot of cops around and you have about 10 pounds of crack there Cinders.Then she farted and flew around the room for half an hour haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Wow, you dug youself into quit a mess. Your number is probably on all the womens and some mens room walls around the Pines. Sugar House too. Plain is handing out flyers all around town. Stapled on telly poles and in store windows and everymall with a car in it. You could turn this into a thriving business in you want to spend the time servicing all you new clients.....Plain would make a great partner. He is a good ball whacker and can dance for the clients while they are waiting. I wish you good luck on your new adventure. Your Porn name should be SPIDERBITE. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Wow, J.McC, telly-pole. We had a nun in high school, one Sister Maria Lorraine. who chastised us because we called a telephone pole a telly-pole. We told her she was wrong but when we grew up (did any of us ever really grow-up) we realized that the ville was prolly the only place that used telly-pole. Another misnomer was we called a sliding board a kelly slide. People always thought we were nuts. Plain used the term kelly slide in a previous comment. Oh wise one Plain, or any other member of the ville, can you tell me why we called a sliding board a kelly slide? I will be anxiously awaiting your words of wisdom. Don't you like how I strayed away from the shitty porno-calls right onto another subject. Thanks myself and awaits your comments.
Hmmmmm Strebor a great question, nods I had to call Cliff Clavens Mom on this one. She says there are three arguements to where this Kelley Slide first came from yep I know first Al Bernard and Ernest Hare wrote a song Slide Kelley slide about a Pro Baseball Player by the Name ....ya Ready for this,,,,,,Mike King Kelly......crazy aint it.....well some say it was about him.....then there is a Slient Movie Starring Harrey Carey made by Metro Goldwyn Mayer in 1927 and some argue this is where It came from last but not least way back In the coal Mines there was this drill called a Kelley and it would sometimes slide freely and Since the Irish were the first slaves in this country there were lots of kellys working in the mines with the Molley McGuires nods so I am going with this one.....The Kelly slides freely nods and walks away
I like Telly Pole and Kelly Slide, also Fire Plug.
Little Known Fact:
When the Irish Laborers were building the Yunk, There was one incline that was pretty steep and very winding. It is referred to in the Philadelphia Historical records as a section of road called Greene Land and Manayunk Boundary Line. Later to be called Green Lane and Manayunk Ave. The man in charge of building Green Lane out of Belgian Block was none other than John B. Kelly, yep, the great great grandfather of the brick laying Kellys or in Graces case the Hollywood laying Kellys. He lived at the top of the incline and the rest of the laborers lived in shantys on the hill according to their job importance. (most of them Irish)They would pave the dirt and then line the section with wood so if it rained the grade would not get all sloppy and have to be done over. Naturally one Rube (Ruby) Rubenstein built a bar and sandwich joint at the top of the hill, logistics seem to prove it was on the right hand side of the easement..yep, first Jewish Deli in the New World was in the Yunk. Kelly being the foreman lived right across the street. He was known to imbibe in Rubys every nite after work.. Now in those days, there were a lot of ailments that were not known to medicine..Kelly evidently had loose bowel syndrome, as he shit himself often,while trying to make it too the outhouse or the woods. This was especially true when he was drinking and don't forget he drank every night. Most nights it was ok, but in some early news from that day, it seems there were many nights when Kelly would fly outta Rubys trying to make the woods, while ripping at his pants. The boards used to hold the grade in place were slippery and they ended at the top of the hill right at Rubys, Kelly would constantly trip and yep, go sliding down the hill shitting and screaming at warp speed. Most of the laborers were so tired they didn't see or hear him. New laborers would wake up in the morning and see the shit streaks and ask the older guys what the fuck is that.They would tell them, no big deal, Kelly was Sliding again last night. Thus the term Kelly Slide was incorporated into the lingo of the Yunk. You heard it first here at Plain and Simple...
Lolllll Simple wish I said that !
Hey Plain I wish I said a lot of things you lay out there.
Well I just asked on Danielle if she knew what a Kelly Slide was?? NO.. Do you know what a Telly-Pole is?? NO. Do you know what a Fire Plug is?? NO.What the hell language is that?? Manayunkese.. On that note I think I will slide into the rack. "Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends. TAPS.........
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