Saturday, July 9, 2011
"Today Is The 9th Day Of June In The Year Of Our Lord 2011."
Mornin.. Saturday in July, numero deuce, there are 5 this year, along with 5 VODKADAYS, along with 5 Sundays, it won't happen again for 6 million years, in other words it won't happen again.. I just said 6 million years, I have no idea when the next time this will happen. You have too take that up with Finn McCool he was selling something about everybody becoming millionaires if you passed this along too 40,000 people in the next ten seconds, if not your toes would be chewed of by a drunken goat, in the middle of the night, in the middle of the Pine Barrens, while two Slavs laughed at you.. Anybody, just walking through the Ville right now, will have no idea what I am talking about. Well in essence how could they. Heading over the Ben Franklin today, seems like I am always heading over the Ben Franklin, but the tolls are a little more than a quarter..Plain is probably whacking away by now, his balls must be getting awfully tired of getting whacked. That would be my plight in life or after life, come back as a golf ball.. Somebody whacking me into water, sand, woods. Hitting me with woods and irons. Sticking me on top of a tee and hauling off and whacking me like a red headed step child, or a golf ball. I could see me now, oh no he is into his back swing. Here it comes, oh this fucker really stinks, he whiffed. OWWEEEEEEE!!!! he didn't even give me a chance to shut my eyes. I like this part sailing through the air free as a bird. THUDDDD!!!!!! fuckin trees, bouncing down the hill Bounce OWW!! Bounce OWWWW!!! Bounce OWWW! rolling to a stop. Fucker stinks I am in the woods here he comes with his cart, yelling he can't find me. Good let me rest in peace. Oh here it is, give me a two iron, what a two iron, he is going to whack me twice.. WHACK!!!! YEOWWWWWW!!!! I'm flying again that bastard really got into me that time. THUMP, Phew rolling towards that stinky fucking hole. Landed in one yesterday and it was all wet at the bottom.. PHEW!! didn't quite go in. Give me a putter. This don't hurt too bad, he just taps me in WHOAAAAA!!!! PLUNK. Fuckin bug in here with me. Nice shot there Plain, wait a minute it ain't bad enough I came back a fuckin golf ball. I'm Plains fuckin golf ball. I did drive the bus too hell. Let's get ready for the next tee. Yeah, I am using this ball again, seems like my lucky ball. Yeah Plain you been hitting the shit out of that ball.. They ain't kiddin, every time I see one of those clubs coming at my ass I shit myself.....Whack on Plain!!!! Whack On!!!! Once again will be remote tonite, so somebody please take over TAPS.. If you get a chance today, and believe or don't believe in reincarnation. Tell us what you will come back as in another life. Enjoy the Weekend...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
Gotta give that one some thought! I used to say as a good-looking rich man but not so sure anymore. Definitely don't want to come back as a golf ball, yo! stop whacking me. Swears and rolls away.
How about a football, everybody is either throwing you around or kicking the stitiches out of you. Lot of people just tuck you under their armpits and run. Other people stick you under their ass and hand you off too a guy that throws you as far as he can, and once again another guy tees you up, but this time instead of hitting you with a club he kicks you as far as he can. Tough too come back a ball. I guess it is better to come back a bat or a club..
Simple this isnt true about 5 Fri, sat , sun in One month happening once in a lifetime. This has happened in 1971 1982,1993, 1999,2004,2010, and also will happen in 2021 and 2032.....But there is a Simple explanation for this Simple I'll try to make it Plain. For every 31 DayMonth to have 5 Fri, Sat,Sun in it the first Day of the month has to be a Friday yep I know crazy isnt it a vodka day. it's all starting to makes sense now right !But let me make it more Simpe by explaning a lil Known fact to ya.Each non leap year has 365 days which is 52 weeks plus 1 Day 52* 7 =364;(364 +1 =365)So every passing year will push the first day of the month forward by 1 day. Defining fordward as Friday , Sat, Sun etc. However if it is a leap year the first day will be pushed forward 2 Days. Since every 6 year cycle contains at least 1 leap year this means that the same Oct Calender should reappear every 6 years then there would be 5 one day pushes forward and 1 two day push=one week covered Unless there are 2 leap years that fall in this space, In which case the whole cycle will be shifted forward 1 Day........ SO you see how Simple it is Simple ? It's very Plain and there's always a simple explanation Simple ,People try and make a big thing out of nothing but Balderdash when in effect most things are Plain and Simple!!!!!!! Smiles and walks away
Hmmmmmmm Simple come back as , Well I dont belive in reincarnation Simple and I didn't belive in it when I was a Hamster.......haaaaaaaaaaaaaa No I told my wife last time i was in the after life I got up in the morning and had sex then wenthad breakfest then some more sex then go to the gold course and have sex come home for lunch and then even more sex. She said God you must have been in Heaven.....I said no I was a Rabbit in suffold County. haaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa oh chit i need to compose here Simple ........I'll tell you this the last Damn thing i will ever do is Die........nods and walks away
Thanks for that Simple explanation Pain, I mean Plain.
You left out one little known fact, it has to be a month with 31days....(coached by Strebor)..
Simple Simple if you check the 6th line down you will see where I said 31 day month
Talking about coming back:
A man and his Goat, Mere, Squirrel, Slav and Blat, Spider and Baboon were walking along a road.
The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the animals walking beside him had been dead for years.
He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road.
It looked like fine marble.
At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate of the Pines lined with pure gold.
He and the animals walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'
'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.
'Wow! Would you happen to have some water and Vodka?' the man asked.
'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water and Sprite brought right up.'
The man gestured, and the gate began to open. 'Can my friends,' gesturing toward his animals, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.
'I'm sorry; sir, but we don't accept pets.'
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his animals.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
There was no fence just Pine trees.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book....'Why Not to Double Down on Dueces'
'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water and some Vodka?'
'Yeah, sure, there's a pump and a bench with some Vodka over there, come on in.'
'How about my friends here?' the traveler gestured to his animals.
'There should be some bowls by the pump,' said the man.
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it and a bottle of the best Vodka in the land.
The traveler filled the water bowls and took a long drink of the Vodka & Sprite himself, and then he gave some of the fine well water to his animals.
When they were full, he and the animals walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.
'This is Heaven,' he answered.
'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said.
'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'
'Oh, you mean the place with the Gold Street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you angry for them to use your name like that?'
'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind'
Smiles very well told James, and so true.
That's a good story there Finn. You do come up with some over the top material. Is is sad too lose family or friends in anyway. Unfortunatly that is the status of our lives. We leave a school, or a neighborhood, someone else leaves for the Service some return some don't. People you know and love get older and make that journey you just described. If you can have friends as I am blessed too have throughout this life, it is something special.. I hope I have to go and wait for them rather than the other way around. That way I can come back and hang out with Plain as he whacks me around a golf course..
Be splitting pretty soon for the William Penn Inn, never been. I told Strebor I would drive, that lasted long.. Anyhow, have a great time in whatever you have planned or not planned for the weekend. Good stuff for a Saturday. Learn more and more about the Ville as time goes on. True Story Strebor and myself played some Trivia, the very first question... Drum Roll Easy..........................................What is the largest minority in Latvia. We both looked at each other and I yelled Slovaks....We both knew it was Russians, but in reality they are Slovakian. The law of synchronicity....
I'm back here is a first. Always gotta be a first to have a second. I am doing TAPS.... and then a Post because it is the bewitching hour. Me and Strebor left the party when the DJ who was one of those guys that couldn't wait too pull the plug said this is the last dance. Oh no shit.. I have a message on my phone.. Yo I am at the Ale House. Yep, one Floyd Flaherty, soooooo I talked Strebor into pulling over and yeah he was there and yeah I just left. "Stay Out Of Harms Way My Friends." TAPS..............
Post a Comment