Saturday, July 2, 2011
Today is the 2nd day of July In The Year Of Our Lord 2011
Top of the friggin Marnin to ye Lads & Lassies I dont know if it's early or late for ya but it's late for me. just got home and I lost playin cards throws up my hands. But Fin McCool is right there's some Baboon running around in New Joisey some wheres.He's making a monkey out of the Law enforcement down there he shouldn't be hard to find. He's like 6ft tall long hair and his arms go down to the ground and he has a big Pink ass and he is traveling by trees i mean come on he's not driving a Shelby down the Garden State Parkway. Alough this weekend there will be alot of college guys hanging there ass out the window of there car the pink one should stand out.So if there is a sighting on this Monkey report it to us,I have Frank Buck and we want to return this Baboon to the pine Barrons right here in our own lil Ville. Simple will enjoy the company so will Blat and splat and the rest of them.Time for a Nap right after I get my night cap. Poof
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Oh is Simple going to go off on this one.....LOL......His heart is to big. He will take anyone and anything into the Ville. But what makes him so unique is what is in his head comes out his mouth with no filter..........it great.......Later
206 that's ville territory - I guess we'll be hearing stories shortly - one already circulating is that the baboon was seen being chased by two neanderthal looking men with chewed up toes followed by a goat, nah, nah, nahing. Witnesses also said that they heard some arking in the trees.
The rumors are true Strebor as a Matter of fact the Baboons is actually leading the whole group. Once they caught up to him he told them He is from French Indo China and was a General in the Jungle.He told them his name is Ape-olen Baboon-Aparte and he specialized in Gorilla Warefare.Blat told him he "yo dink peath engrish berry vell"And Ape-olen said you have very lil Ape-titude too. Then Splat ask why he had such Big Nostrils and Ape-olen told him look at these fingers!!!!!Now shut the fuck up before I go Bananas. I'll be back with another report.
AH! Simple is mia and mayhem ensues in the ville. Simple will be in shock when he returns unless Plain gets on his mighty trike and restores order.
I am remote,and cannot believe what I am hearing. Evidently there is a Baboon loose in the Pines. Florence 206 not far from the Ville. Maybe 30 miles or a little more. I know this baboon will now wind up in the Ville. The only problem with that is he might be smarter than me. That witch made me Simple. The other residents are not in my league when it comes to brains, but a baboon could cause problems. Little known fact. Baboons can eat 30 pounds of bananna's a day, fornicate 30 times a day, shit 50 times a day (that is why their assholes are so pink) and travel sixty miles through the trees without hurting a limb (his arms not the trees). This is just what I need, a smart pink ass, bannana eating, sex addicted, shitting baboon to try and usurp my power. I can't wait to get back there Monkday, or Tuesday or whenever.
Funny story, did ok at the Sugar House but they got me in the end, had a few too many Vodkas. Maybe 60, got playing wild deuce poker, and started hitting. It was one of those machines at the bar, so I didn't have to wait for a waitress. Had too play that one at least 5 hours. Phillies were on and gone. Some black dude comes up and sits next too me. I was hammered, but he was hammered and nailed the only thing missing was the coffin. Me and Phil are playing, and this dude is trying too put a five dollar bill in the machine. It ain't happening, I nudge Phil and start laughing, at one point he was trying too stick it through the screen. Now, I know the mentality, he puts the five in plays a hand gets a drink and sits there as long as possible watching me. So, over comes the bartender, and he orders something in a language that is not of this world. Well I put my head down on the machine and start laughing, as him and the bar tender are going back and forth. He screams something out in Zwahili, and the bartender flags him. The only problem with that is he don't know it. So, he is still trying to stick this soaking wet five dollar bill in the machine, right about now I am hysterical.. There is a girl on the other side of him, and that is the last machine at this corner of the bar. Well he says something to her and she cashes out and walks away. He looks at me and says something to the tune of do you have a twenty you can lend me. I am dying right now, I said how about it I just give you a dry five dollar bill, oh but I can't your flagged. He still don't know it, so I tell him. Your fucking flagged, you ain't getting no drinks so you should just walk away before it gets ugly. Well here comes the bartender, is he bothering you. No, he ain't bothering me. In fact I'm laughing my balls off. Phil has his head on the bar laughing. This guy waves the five at the bartender and with this I guess his legs gave out, he slides off the end of the bar and whacks into a guy sitting at another machine. People I almost emptied my bladder. With this here comes security, yep, dragging him out. I was yelling he give me that five they ain't gonna let you use it. I know the baboon is smarter than that fuck.. Later.
Yaba yaba yaba said the baboon to the simpleton - Oh God help us!
Daba, daba, daba said the simpleton to the baboon - all day long they frolicked and played - all night long the simpleton is cleaning up shit. Oh happy day! And, Simpleton told the baboon he would give him a wet $5 bill if he helped clean up, LMAO.
Well things are getting worse Blat and Splat like the look of the Pink ass Baboon so much Greeeny and Sammy talked them into cutting the ass out of there jeans and undeware so now they think they look like Ape-olen there running around the Ville with asses hanging out and they keep spanking each other so there asses are Pink. Ape-olen Baboon Aparte and the rest of them are laughing there asses off. The Ville is surrouned by the State Police that are looking for Ape-olen,and Ape-olen is teaching everyone jungle warefare and Gorrila warefare. Where the hell is Simple?
WOW. Gorilla Warfare. Just what the fuck I need.
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